Annie's Journal of Dating and Body Hair Removal

[annie24]

i signed the lease for the apartment 10 minutes from my work. it's all hardwood floors, top floor of a high rise, and great view. it's more than i want to pay, but they seem to be better managed. i also have a few friends who live there and they appear to like it so far (though so did the girl who i took the current lease over from). So, signed the lease, called the movers, i'm moving in 2 weeks (yay!) Sending my landlord a certified letter tomorrow with photos of the mice in traps and other damage that animals have done to the apartment. and also including that he told me i could break the lease.

 

anyway...... i went to a story-telling competition tonight with Carol. I thought it was going to be lame, but it was actually really fun. it was at a very cool bar/restaurant. the topic was online dating, and people could enter their names to tell their funny story on stage, and judges scored them. You could tell that several of these people were comedians, or at least really great at improv/stage performance. It was really funny - people talking about their worst online dating stories. The best people and audience favorites were really the ones who had a good story (with a beginning, middle, and end), and who were self-depreciating. One guy was a total ass though - he was a college dropout, lived with his parents so he could get better at playing the guitar, kind of bounced from job to job, and then was complaining about being self-conscious being in public with a girl who is bigger than him. He then told a story about a girl he met online with a hand deformity, and people at the bar were staring at her, and he felt really awkward about being on a date with her, but still had sex with her, and then never called again. yeah, that REALLY did not go over well. i was like, "what a jerk!!!" the judges felt the same way. The next guy had a funny story about being an awkward kid, then an awkward teen (rollerblading by his crush's house when he was 15, then crashing in front of her and the kids she was babysitting), then discovering online dating and found he's better on the computer than in real life, lol. Everyone loved him. After that guy got wild applause from the audience, jerk guy left the bar. Hopefully he'll grow a little more...

 

the winner of the night was a woman - she got on stage, she was wearing sweats. she looked like she was getting ready to clean her apartment, not give a speech at a nice bar. anyway.... she was hilarious - basically decided to do online dating once her life hit 'rock bottom' and she didn't think things could get worse, but they did. but it was so funny. very animated, and a really good story teller.

[faraday]

I'm glad you found a place and it's working out so well

 

Omg, I would love to participate in online dating stories. I would tell the story of my first ever online date. He ran into my house after our first date (don't ask) and pooped in my bathroom for 30 minutes while I remade the over strong tea repeatedly. Oh online dating, you really bring out the best in people

[Batya33]

Why would the jerk want people to know that about him and why would he think that's interesting? Was this supposed to be like the Moth? I'm glad you went and very glad you found a new place!

[annie24]

Why would the jerk want people to know that about him and why would he think that's interesting? Was this supposed to be like the Moth? I'm glad you went and very glad you found a new place!

 

I guess it's the kind of thing you say and it's entertaining if you are sitting with one friend who understands where you are coming from - but a huge bar of strangers.... ehhhh.....

 

The guy after him was really cute and funny and single (he was a teacher, very tall, pretty dorky). Carol said I should have sent him a drink. I didn't. next time, lol

 

I'm 3 lbs down this week. It's been a crazy week between apartment hunting and all that. not the most productive week work-wise, but I'll try to make up for it next week.

[LAYAAN]

LOL funny online dating story telling.

[annie24]

i really dislike bill. i saw carol tonight for a play and then froyo. as we're walking into the theater, bill texts her to ask if it's a good time to call. bill hasn't talked to her since tuesday, and then he wants to talk to her on saturday night (when he knows she's going to a play). (mind you - he also didn't ask her out on a date this weekend. "too busy.") I wonder if this is some power thing to him. i feel like he does this - wants attention when carol is busy - like when he wanted to talk on the phone while carol and i were on vacation (in another time zone!) and he got grumpy that she got off the phone so quickly. Or when he needed to go to the bathroom, right as he was supposed to drive us to the airport. I really don't like what this guy is up to. Carol's mad, but not mad enough to tell him to bug off...

[LAYAAN]

I really don't like what this guy is up to. Carol's mad, but not mad enough to tell him to bug off...

I get upset when I read anything like this. It reminds me of my own story with the on-n-off guy.

Ya, Carol may struggle to get decent quality dates, but she would be better off making an effort to get a real relationship than be in limbo like this (well, that is if she wants a real relationship). This guy has no respect for her. He is obviously waiting for a better candidate. This guy will leave her high n dry.

 

Well, something that I've learned from my previous interactions is that a girl needs to respect herself. If she seeks for approval and acceptance outside without getting it first from her own self, it is unlikely that she will find it from a man in a romantic relationship.

[petite]

It's definitely a power thing with Bill. Bill likes to be in control and Carol allows it, which will continue until she stops allowing him. If Carol actually stood up to him and frankly told him that's not okay, Bill would either apologize and try to be nice and fair, or he would end it. I'm leaning more towards him ending it, and that's probably why Carol hasn't cut him off. She wants someone, even if it's someone that's half-arsing it at the best of times. Does Carol lack self confidence? It makes no sense why an educated, confidant woman would put up with someone treating her the way Bill does.

Carol needs a wake up call. If Bill met someone else he really, really liked he'd probably forget Carol even exists. He seems very selfish and self-centered. It's all about what he wants and when he wants it.

I dated someone like that and could stand it. Everything was on his time, how he wanted it and when. It was hell.

[annie24]

yeah, i think as soon as he meets someone new, carol will be in the dust. she does lack self-confidence. I do think that she's hoping that Bill decides she is wonderful and worth holding onto.... but if after 7 months, he doesn't call her his "gf" - meh. I mean, if a guy doesn't call you between tuesday-saturday.... and then he only calls saturday when he knows you're out... i mean, it's not good. I think she's waiting on him to make the decision, but I told her that she can make the decision too. When they do go out (3-4 times a month), they have very nice dates, which is why I guess she is holding out hope. He takes her jacket, pulls out her chair, etc... she says that the waiters comment on it, on his good manners. But I think it is easy to play that role 3-4 times a month, than having to be a boyfriend.

 

Carol asked me why Bill doesn't want to be her boyfriend. I said then he is accountable for your feelings, and he doesn't want to be. Now, he can take off at any time and say with a clear conscience "well, we were only dating, we weren't together." Meanwhile, carol is holding out hope. I hate that guy. I'd like to punch him in the nose.

 

blah.

[annie24]

I understand trying to stay as long as there is some hope of things working out. I know where she's coming from, as I was there last year with logan..... but I'm watching this from the outside, and i just don't see bill ever committing to carol.

[petite]

It's different when you observe a situation objectively and not emotionally involved. It's always easier to see other peoples mistakes and things they are doing/not handling well than when you are in that situation. I think we all do that a little at times.

[Ms Darcy]

Yeah, Carol does struggle with getting quality dates. she did Tinder for a while and found that she could hook up with super hot men, but it was always a booty call - some still call her!! Bill is more of the "quality date" guy, in the sense that they have nice dates together (restaurants, theater, wine tasting) type dates, and see each other roughly once a week.... but he's dragging her along. I think if Carol had another guy who was looking to seriously date her and were to pursue her, she wouldn't bother with Bill (although she likes him a lot!). I think she's really struggling, because they go out, have fun, have a nice time, have great dates.... but then he's not really willing to take it to the next level.

 

I know it can be a struggle to find quality, but he's actually not quality. He faux quality.

 

The more time she wastes with him, the less emotional space she has for something real.

[WithLove]

Just makes me glad that you yourself aren't in a relationship like this!

 

I hope she sees reason soon. He's jerking her around and I foresee some intense "why did this happen??" conversations coming up from her.

[annie24]

I feel like I'm bracing myself for when things go downhill. sigh. She took it really hard the last time she really liked a guy and he called it off with her.

 

in other news, i'm down 10 lbs so far. i don't really look in the mirror and notice the difference. I feel like my pants are a little looser in the thighs, but that's all. well, let's see in another 10 lbs how the pants fit....

 

very busy week this week. going to a conference soon, then moving shortly after that! eek!

[annie24]

It's different when you observe a situation objectively and not emotionally involved. It's always easier to see other peoples mistakes and things they are doing/not handling well than when you are in that situation. I think we all do that a little at times.

 

Definitely petite. It's easy when you're not swayed by the lovely dates. She talks about their nice dates, but I just think of the V-day card ("you're a nice friend!") and the lack of calls between tuesday and saturday. hm.

[annie24]

I know it can be a struggle to find quality, but he's actually not quality. He faux quality.

 

The more time she wastes with him, the less emotional space she has for something real.

 

I know. I know. I just can't stop her. I don't want to rag on her too much about it. Whenever she talks about him, i kind of squint up my face.

[annie24]

On a totally unrelated note - whenever i reply to someone's baby birth or wedding announcement on Facebook, i then get a million notifications that someone else has replied to that post/photo. gah. not their fault of course, it's happy news. I just get to see the notifications all the time coming up on my screen. gah.

[Ms Darcy]

I know. I know. I just can't stop her. I don't want to rag on her too much about it. Whenever she talks about him, i kind of squint up my face.

 

I just find it funny when so many men come on here and claim women have it easy with online dating when it's simply not true for everyone.

[testcase]

I just find it funny when so many men come on here and claim women have it easy with online dating when it's simply not true for everyone.

Well I don't think men claim it's easier to meet someone good online or find a partner. I just think they mean it's simply easier for women to get dates if they want them. I'm sure it's not the case for everyone.... But I'd say in general it's true.

[Batya33]

Well I don't think men claim it's easier to meet someone good online or find a partner. I just think they mean it's simply easier for women to get dates if they want them. I'm sure it's not the case for everyone.... But I'd say in general it's true.

 

Yes, it was easy for me to get "dates." If I wanted a free meal with the only price to pay to spend time with someone I wasn't interested in or someone I had nothing in common with but he wanted to take me out on a date, then sure. No contest for me - I strongly preferred my own company to that situation - that price was far too big a sacrifice, no interest in "free" meals either.

[testcase]

What was the sacrifice? A few hours time for a free meal? I guess it's not worth it if you're going to be miserable when you go. I've personally never had a bad date because even if it's someone I'm not interested in I like to have a fun time and meet someone new. Isn't that the point of dating? Maybe I missed something there.

[Fudgie]

I've had some bad dates. Awkward, or the guy is not nice, or he's boring, etc.

 

I'd rather pay and eat by myself than go out on a mediocre date. It's not worth it.

[testcase]

Sure. But you don't really know how the date is going to be till you go on it right? Maybe if it's awkward or boring you can carry the date for a bit?? Tell a good story, make some good jokes, something like that.

 

Whatever I won't post anymore on this here as it's Annie's Journal and the original thought came out of left field. I'm just saying if you want a date you should be able to get one. If you're looking for the perfect date there's no way of knowing how good it can be till you go on it. If you'd rather be alone, be alone.

[Fudgie]

^ That's why I've screened people prior to going on the date. No phone chemistry = no date. And you can still have a bad date even if you have phone chemistry. When I've had a bad date, I try to cut it short and have an excuse to leave. It happens.

[annie24]

Sure. But you don't really know how the date is going to be till you go on it right? Maybe if it's awkward or boring you can carry the date for a bit?? Tell a good story, make some good jokes, something like that.

 

Whatever I won't post anymore on this here as it's Annie's Journal and the original thought came out of left field. I'm just saying if you want a date you should be able to get one. If you're looking for the perfect date there's no way of knowing how good it can be till you go on it. If you'd rather be alone, be alone.

 

Lol, you don't have to stop posting!!

 

Well, Carol's a good example of being able to get dates in general, but is having a harder time finding ones that are moving towards a relationship. And for a while, she was just having fun, but I'm worried as she really likes Bill... and he doesn't seem to be going further than enjoying fun dates (not taking the relationship to the next level with her).