Batya33 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 What was the sacrifice? A few hours time for a free meal? I guess it's not worth it if you're going to be miserable when you go. I've personally never had a bad date because even if it's someone I'm not interested in I like to have a fun time and meet someone new. Isn't that the point of dating? Maybe I missed something there. My only point in dating, with rare exception, was to find a potential husband. I screened like Fudgie did and did what Fudgie did if it was a bad date. I loved meeting new people and did that all the time in many different ways. I didn't put in all the time and effort to meet guys just to meet new people. I already had enough friends and had far easier ways to meet new people. I also had very little free time because of my career. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Getting a first date or meet is not easy for every woman and I don't see the use of that generalization. On another note, thinking about Carol's experience and how it was noted that she was partly wasting her time with Bill because the other guys were only.interested in hookups. That would be terribly frustrating for several reasons. One reason is because if you want marriage and natural children, there is a certain amount of time one has to do that and who wants to waste time? I think the free dinner notion isn't relevant either. There are plenty of people who go to coffee shops for first meets, have coffee or tea, and split the check. Link to comment
testcase Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Lol, you don't have to stop posting!! Well, Carol's a good example of being able to get dates in general, but is having a harder time finding ones that are moving towards a relationship. And for a while, she was just having fun, but I'm worried as she really likes Bill... and he doesn't seem to be going further than enjoying fun dates (not taking the relationship to the next level with her). Ya. Well you know that's a bad sign. Why hasn't she confronted him about where things are going? I'll be honesty I'm in the same situation only I guess I'm the "Bill". The girl I'm dating has confronted me many times and I'm sure, at the very least, shell have an answer soon because of it. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I think if discussing someone's intentions is at the level of confrontation you have your answer. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 Carol has sort of tried (via text) and he has skirted the issue. I told her she should just bring it up on their next date so that he can't avoid the issue. She said they are always having fun on their dates and there's no good time to bring it up. I think Carol doesn't want to rock the boat as she either thinks they are making baby steps towards a relationship, or she won't like what she hears. I'm frustrated. But to some degree, this is carol's fault for not really listening to what he is telling her (e.g. You're a nice friend on Valentine's Day.) Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 There is never a good time but there are better times than others. The "we're having fun" is of course a silly excuse. And there's no sort of trying and of course if a person really wants to be with another person he/she won't need much clarity to respond with enthusiasm -and if there is clarity then all the better. When I had to bring it up I said in one case "how do you see us?" to a man I'd been dating close to 3 months and in another , on a second date, "It's not my style to have a fling and it's not my style with you". In the first case the response was that he wasn't quite ready (i.e. he knew exactly what I was referring to) and in the other case his response was that he understood and did not want that either. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 I agree.... but sigh.... nothing i can do. just be there for her when things go downhill for good. in other news, down 11 pounds now after 3 weeks with this program. I'm at the halfway mark. I have a weekend away at a conference, so I will have to control my eating, particularly because i know that there will be receptions and buffets. I'm bringing some snacks with me so I have some better options if the pastry tray looks too good. Dating is not really going anywhere. I'm only on one site, bagel meets coffee. And i think i've exhausted all of my local matches, and now i'm getting about 90% of my matches from men who live 2 states away. I might try link removed again in a few months. Moving next week (eek!) and I'm really looking forward to my new apartment. It has really nice hardwood floors and lots of light. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Yay on the weight loss, Annie! I still need to lose 5lbs to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I don't think I'll ever get it off, though. No time to exercise! Moving is such a hassle but I hope you enjoy your new place!!! Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Hurray on weight loss! 11 pounds is a good amount. I haven't been able to lose that much. Link to comment
testcase Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Daymn Annie!! For real I'm going to be pming you for diet advice! I just hit the heaviest I've ever been and I feel like absolute crud. I'm going to the gym more than I ever have... so I'm putting on muscle. I just haven't watched anything I've ate or drank.... and I drink a ton. Starting tomorrow my diet is about to get serious. I hope I can lose 11 pounds too. That'd be an awesome start to my long journey. If I lose 30 I'll reassess my goals. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Share Posted May 16, 2015 Hi - Sorry I've been MIA off the boards. I've been checking in on stuff, but not really posting. Lots of stuff going on. I just got back from a conference where I gave a talk, and it was well-received. And I just moved last night into my new apartment!! I love it so far. It has lots of light, unlike the old place. Also, no mice so far! I actually caught another 2 mice last week. My slumlord finally sent out the exterminator (a few days before I moved out - why???) I'm on the top floor of a high-rise, nice wood floors, tons of light. So far, so good. The hallways are kind of creepy though - like out of a horror movie. I don't know - maybe it's the color and the fluorescent lighting. But my apartment itself is nice. The leasing lady is super sweet and nice and I really like her. Another one of the desk women (who did the overnight shift) isn't so nice, but whatever. If I came down with my hair on fire, I think she would tell me that I should call the fire department. Not her job, lol. Well, the good thing is that there is on-duty staff and someone who can take my packages, unlike my last place. If I missed a package, I would have to go to the post office to pick it up, which can be a giant pain. Eating has gone off the rails a little. Trying to get back on track - between the conference and staying in a hotel, and then the move, it's been hard to eat super clean. Especially with moving and needing lots of energy - it's not a time you just want to nibble on sugar-free jello all day. I went to the doctor - I have sleep apnea. Apparently, I stop breathing 23 times an hour!! They're going to get me a CPAP machine. But also, they think that the weight loss will help, so they said when I've lost more weight, to come back in and do another test. They said I slept the best on my side, so I'm trying hard to stay on my side during the night. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Do you constantly wake throughout the night Annie? Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Share Posted May 16, 2015 sometimes. I've actually enrolled in a sleep study here (getting $500! ) Part of the thing is that we have to journal everything, including if we had coffee, alcohol, or nicotine. I slept poorly last night - i also had 3 beers. This is the first time in the last month i've had this much to drink. And yes, i woke up twice (but it's also my first night in this apartment, and i'm getting used to the random noises). Actually the past week, I haven't woken up at all (to my knowledge). Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 17, 2015 Author Share Posted May 17, 2015 Oh snarky cab drivers. I just caught a cab - there's a huge downpour, and i had a ton of stuff in my hands. At the end of the ride, I paid with credit card and hit the "tip 20%" button. Then as I'm getting out he says, "Thanks for the good tip." I said no problem. He gave me the receipt and then when I got back in my apartment, I saw that the tip said $0. It must have not gone through (maybe I didn't hit the button hard enough?) Plus my arms were full of stuff. sigh. He could have just told me directly! That's the problem with passive aggressive crap. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 17, 2015 Author Share Posted May 17, 2015 I remember a long time ago, I went out to dinner with coworkers and the ex-boss. The boss said she would cover the bill, so we said great. Then the boss left and the rest of us were wrapping up. Then as we were leaving, the waitress ran after us and asked if there was a problem with the service? We said no, everything was fine. Then she said, "well why didn't you leave a tip?" We were like, "oh, we thought boss was going to do that (because she said she would cover the bill)" Misunderstanding. we each left tip then. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 Had dinner with Carol last night at a healthy salad/wrap place. after, we were walking by a nice lounge that Logan and I used to go to, and I thought I saw Logan there (looked like a double date?) I don't know if it was him or not. I told Carol and she replied snarkily, "Oh, can he afford the drinks?" lol. oh carol! Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 Urg. Had another Logan dream last night. Haven't had one of those in a while. Settling into my new apartment and looking for a new coffee table and rug to buy. I like it here. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 On a random note, I have a friend who is moving to Asia for a temporary (year) work assignment and invited me to stay with her. I'd have to think about it, but I'm curious if she is going with her husband? I haven't seen any photos of them on Facebook together for a while, which is rather odd, because they seemed to be a very tight-knit couple. Hm. And I don't really feel comfortable just asking, "is husband coming with you or is he staying behind?" hm. Link to comment
luminousone Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Congrats on your weight loss and your move!!!!!! Ugh on seeing Logan (or a look alike). And double ugh on the dream. As far as your friend- you can ask her if her husband is going to try to find a job there too. That way you are not asking if he will be there - your question assumes he will. Link to comment
griff Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Had dinner with Carol last night at a healthy salad/wrap place. after, we were walking by a nice lounge that Logan and I used to go to, and I thought I saw Logan there (looked like a double date?) I don't know if it was him or not. I told Carol and she replied snarkily, "Oh, can he afford the drinks?" lol. oh carol! lol. I like Carol... Now if you could get her to look at her guy situation with the same eye... Congratulations on the weight, exercise, and move. Sounds like you're doing well other than an occasional dream. Have a Happy Memorial Day. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 hi all - my laptop broke last week and i finally got it back today from the apple store. so very sad, some problem with the display. One of the girls pushed my laptop off the bed accidentally, but I don't know if that was the problem or just a coincidence. anyway, $300 later, I have my computer back. yay. thankfully i back up my work every week so I didn't lose some important files during that time. no big news - still unpacking, still going to the gym. i went to a barre class this morning which was way more intense than i thought it would be. then i got my nails done, then i went to a cafe and had brunch (scrambled eggs with tomato, turkey bacon, avocado) and whole wheat toast. i also had a juice (cucumber, spinach, lemon, apple). looked around after for a new coffee table, and then just got home. my big news is that i just booked a trip to southeast asia over the holidays so i'm excited for that. yay!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 On a minor family drama note - last week while I was watching the girls, one of them came up with a game - to make up a pretend island, and then draw a map of the island and name some people who live on that island. I started drawing the island and the middle child decided she wanted to be part of my island. So we're coming up with thing on our island (grocery store, movie theater, school). And I suggested we name a character "MonkeyButt." The girls started laughing. But then the middle girl (7 years old) started just insanely crying, saying she didn't want him to be MonkeyButt, she wanted him to be called Alex. She had a total melt-down. Then my cousin came in and started yelling at the older sister for not doing anything when her younger sister is crying. Then she talked to the middle sister about what was going on. Then she asked me very sternly if I understood why she was crying? I told her I had no idea. The middle girl got sick later in the night (she lost her voice a few hours later), which makes me think she was emotional and just had an illness coming on, which is what brought out the meltdown. But seriously, I have no idea. I didn't say or do anything to comfort the middle child at the time because I didn't even understand what was going on, or if she was even for real. Link to comment
faraday Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 My daughter gets crazy emotional right before she gets sick- it's kind of a warning bell Link to comment
luminousone Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 My vote is for the effects of the illness. See the pics of irrational kids crying for case in point: link removed Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 It's not funny when mom walks in and her child is crying so badly she thinks you have been hitting her!! Link to comment
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