itsallgrand Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Carol needs to become a member on ena... Soon she would have a twelve page thread with people telling her to go NC. haha so true. But she might not come back after that! Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 Carol needs to become a member on ena... Soon she would have a twelve page thread with people telling her to go NC. I know, not just me and her other friends and her sisters telling her that!! lol. sigh. seriously - christmas he gave her a "you're a nice friend" snoopy card and biography. Valentine's day she got a letter calling her a great friend (not even a date). I wonder what the birthday has in store?? Garfield birthday card and a pack of novelty socks?? sigh. I know that "The Rules" are kind of horrible and outdated, but I think they were on to something, 'If he doesn't give you a romantic present on your birthday or valentine's day, dump him." It's not about the price, but rather the thought and intention behind it. I do see these holidays as a sort of a litmus test (unless the guy is amazing the other 364 days of the year, but that's obviously not the case here). I don't want her to think I am her single friend, and I want her to be single with me. I have other friends who meet guys, fall in love, and then get married, and it's usually so different. You can just see that they are best friends, are so close, they are a team, and when you hear they are engaged, you're not surprised because you've known it's been coming for a long time. For Carol, I don't have those feelings about her and him AT ALL. It's more like me wondering, "when is poop going to hit the fan??" Bill told her that he takes commitment very seriously and thus that is why he really needs time to think. I think that Carol is viewing this as a positive in a way - that he is thinking more long term than just gf, but rather that he's thinking about a permanent future with them. I just hear a guy saying anything and everything to avoid having to call her his gf. that freaking pisses me off. I want to punch that guy in the nose. Link to comment
petite Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 It boggles my mind why educated, intelligent women sometimes just don't see what is in front of them. And, I know it's hard when it's us in that situation and thinking rationally can just go out the window ... but damn. He got her to 'friend' card twice. That's a huge sign. You know what's funny, whenever a guy has said he is serious about commitment and needs to think about it, I knew we just weren't a match. In my opinion when someone wants you they make it obvious, there isn't a lot to think about. And if he had to THINK about being in a relationship with me? No thanks. You either want the person or you don't. To be honest, it's partly her fault for letting him get away with it, but he's also being a jerk because clearly he's d*cking her around, and he knows it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Share Posted June 16, 2015 Things are so much clearer on the outside. sigh. The problem is that I think she is internalizing things like there is something wrong with *her* - that she should be more this or that and things would be different. But that's not the case. Bill had a gf a few years back who dumped him after a year because she wanted to have kids and he wasn't ready. Fair enough, but I wish that Carol would see this - I just don't think that this is a guy who wants to be in a relationship. He's happy doing his own thing. oh well..... sigh. blah My boss seems to be pretty happy with my work and juggling different projects. So, that's good. Weight has gone down a little, but I need to keep getting it down. I haven't been drinking enough water, I need to focus on that too - especially since it's so hot out. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Why yes, I did need to buy 4 pairs of shoes today! Petite, you were right, Cole Haan shoes are comfortable. I bought 2 pairs of those. I tried some Kate Spade and Tory Burch but they didn't feel comfortable. My foot (especially the right foot) is wide so I usually need M shoe width. The coral shoes are B width and they are ok, probably because of the material. Then I bought some other shoes. Yay! ] Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Nice collection of shoes. And yes Cole Haans are comfortable. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I went to see the Elves and the Shoemaker. Does that count?? Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 I went to see the Elves and the Shoemaker. Does that count?? lol!! Man, in my 20s, I wore almost only heels or platforms. Now I'm just flats... Link to comment
petite Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Yay, new shoes. The top two are my favorite. Glad you like Cole Haan. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 Yup, those two are both Cole Haan. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 Saw Carol today - she and Bill still have not had the talk. She says she won't see him again until she gets her answer from him. So, that's good. I also said that no answer is your answer, there's nothing for him to "think" about after 8 months dating. She sees it as positive that he is thinking things over and he says he doesn't want to just make a hasty decision. Her perspective is that no one else is going after her, so she can be sad about Bill, or she can be sad alone. I said being single is not so bad. One of my Facebook friends (married, kids) just made a post on Friday night that she was jealous about all these people going out on the town, when she had to rush home to take care of her kids while her husband goes to his bowling league. I guess that the grass is always greener.... annoyed with work right now. I'm on a deadline and our server is broken. gah. I'm doing what I can on the workstation, but I was really hoping to take advantage of other resources. Also, all my work from last night appears to have been lost. ugh. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 On a related note, I was talking to a guy Leo that I briefly had a crush on over a year ago. Leo met someone else shortly after we met and he recently proposed to her (so, dating maybe 18 months or so). He said he knew that she was "the one" 4 months in - he said it was something just really simple, after an overnight date, they both got in their cars to drive off, and then suddenly, she got out of the car, went over to his car, kissed him and said, "have a great day today." He told me he decided in that moment that he would marry her because she was such a sweetheart and he said that was the day he started saving up for her ring. To me, when it's right, you know, and there's not a lot of thinking that needs to go on. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I think sometimes it's that easy and sometimes it requires lots of thinking -but it depends on why the thinking is going on and what you're thinking about. I wouldn't go with the "when it's right you know" because I also know many people who "just knew" and then got engaged or almost engaged and no longer "just knew". I just saw on FB that a former friend/acquaintance of mine got engaged to a guy she met on OLD. They've been dating 8 years. She is in her early 40s and he is probably 50. I declined to meet him in person when he contacted me on OLD because he lied about his age. For years he told her he wasn't sure about marriage -she was newly divorced - and I am not sure what changed. I can tell you for sure that neither of them "just knew" and in that situation I am skeptical that things could have changed that much in year 8 so that now it's all simple and easy to decide to get married. I'd be very surprised if there was simply an epiphany and now they both know it is right. But in between those two extremes are plenty of happy couples who did pre-marital counseling, or thought a lot about the various aspects of the relationships in deciding what to do. And there are enough couples who are blinded by the cloud 9 feeling and mistake that for just knowing. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 That's true - Carol thinks it is good that he is not "impulsive" and that he doesn't want to make an "impulsive decision." But I just feel like Bill is stringing her along for the ride. I also think he's being incredibly disrespectful now - if someone asks you a question, you need to answer them in a timely fashion, particularly the "what are we?" question. I told her if he's taking this long, it's not good (particularly because she brought this up to him in February as well). She says this time if he doesn't answer her, she won't see him again. sigh. I know, it's not even my battle here. I'm just really aggravated. I'm also super bloated, I feel like I've gained 10 pounds, but I'm pretty sure it's just water I'm retaining. fun times being a lady.... Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 i've had a really long and crazy week. Work has been really chaotic, just a lot to do all of a sudden. I went to lab at 1:30 AM to check on an experiment and am about to do the same soon. Probably do another midnight time point tonight. I had a housewarming/birthday party last night, so i went back to lab after all the guests went home. I had a great time, I think people did too. I had a fun birthday - went to a concert and after that, had to go sleep under my desk at work because all the power in my building was out. I guess I could have slept at my place too, but not without AC for the night!! I also hosted a party at work for an organization I am a member of, and that went over well, had probably about 150 attendees. So, lots of work, lots of parties, lots of cake and ice cream. I also met a new guy on Coffee meets bagel but I don't think it's a match, lol. "David" and I liked each other on the site. Our first few texts were alright but he seemed really intense. On the first day he was like, "so, are we going to meet, because I don't like wasting a lot of time texting and then never seeing each other." I'm like, sure, of course we can meet. He also said, 'if there is chemistry, I'm going to want to see you more than 1-2 times a week because I like to spend a lot of time with my woman." I said, "uh, let's just have a first date first." he said, "i know, just saying." So, yesterday, he texts me, "did we set a time and place to meet?" I said no. I said I was busy this weekend, but said I could meet next week. He said, "How about Thursday at this diner I know in (name of suburb)?" I said Thursday is fine, but I'd rather meet downtown in (my big city). He said, 'How about no, because I hate Downtown (big city). Also, there's no parking there.' I said, 'Oh, I don't have a car.' he said, "Oh" and that was the last I heard of him. So in one day, David's gone from wanting to see his woman multiple times a week, or not even wanting a first date downtown. Lol. Obviously we're not a match. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Silly man. I'm surprised that he's surprised that you don't have a car. If you live in a big, major city, most people don't have cars who live there because it's simply not convenient and too expensive. If he wants someone who has a car and heads out to the 'burbs a lot, he ought to go for women who live in those areas. Hm. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 And to be clear (which I didn't explain to him, because why bother) - but if I did fall for a guy in the suburbs, I would just take public transit to see him, but maybe have him pick me up from the nearest station if it was not within walking distance. Logan actually lived in the suburbs, and he picked me up from the station (a 3 minute drive from his place). But I would also expect the guy I'm seeing to spend half the time to see me where I live (and yeah, parking is crap, so either you shell out the money for a lot, or you take public transit to see me also). Plus, on a first date, I'm used to the guy coming out my way. Link to comment
griff Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Happy belated Birthday Annie. Hope this year is a great one!!! Suburbs or not, if he won't travel a bit to see to see a girl he wants to spend so much time with----Next... You are the prize. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Is Carol still waiting for a response from Bill. Happy belated birthday! Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Happy belated b-day, Annie! Hope you had a good one! Link to comment
sophie274 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Happy belated birthday Annie! Glad you had fun! Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Is Carol still waiting for a response from Bill. Happy belated birthday! to the best of my knowledge, yes. I've asked her a few times and she said he's still thinking. I don't want to keep hounding her, but I'm guessing she would tell me if he's come to a final decision.... sigh. She said she's like "98% sure" that the decision will not go her way (well, obviously). She told me that the whole reason she brought this up is because he's a teacher, and now that the school year is over, she said something like, "I sure had fun with you at xxxx, I hope we can do that again." He said something like, 'Yes, I would like to see you again.' That gave her pause because that's something you'd say after the 2nd or 3rd date, not after 8 months. So she said then she brought it up, wanting to know what's up, particularly now that he's off for the summer, in theory, he should have more time to see her (if that's what he really wants). thank you for the birthday wishes!! I am having some more people come over tomorrow for brunch. On friday, I had friends from work, and then on sunday, it will be some others, including Bodhi. We still chat, he's very nice, offered to bring something if I needed. My friend made me this double dark chocolate cake which is so amazing and moist, I think I need to go on a strict diet after this week, lol. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 PS - hahah, at my party, the girls had a long in depth discussion about body hair at one point. The guys were off in the corner drinking beer. PPS - I bought waaaay too much beer for this party. I need a boyfriend to drink all this beer! I like beer, but it's also high in calories, and I've been cutting way back on my alcohol intake. I'll either need a boyfriend or have more parties or something. I also bought way too much wine, but that's ok, it's a nice gift to bring along when someone is having a dinner party or whatnot. Maybe for picnics this summer. Link to comment
missmarple Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Happy belated birthday, Annie Link to comment
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