annie24 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Share Posted March 20, 2015 I was talking about this with my girlfriend annie, it's strange how acceptable it is to break up with a girlfriend/boyfriend, but if you break up with a friend you're considered a terrible person (by some). When in fact, we definitely SHOULD be dumping some of our "friends." I've been thinking about this today. We often break up with bfs/gfs because of some fundamental incompatibility. Maybe one person wants kids, the other one doesn't. Maybe one person is cheating? Maybe they're unhappy in the bedroom? For me, I felt like I don't want to have a friend like Susan who is that selfish - I want a friend who would offer me a ride, especially when it would be easy for her to do so. It's like a litmus test. So I don't really feel bad about cutting her off. Granted, this is easier because we work in different fields, don't live together, etc... In most cases like that, one person just gets "really busy" and is no longer available to hang out, people drift apart, etc....so there doesn't have to be a "dramatic friendship breakup." But I felt like I did what I had to do given the circumstances. I want friends who are going to be there for me, clearly Susan isn't it. Not to brag, but I have a lot of friends/acquaintances/social functions I am invited to. If Susan only views me as a person to go to dinners with, well, I have other people who can fill that niche. Link to comment
BigKK Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I agree and think you shouldn't feel any remorse about dumping her. I'm sure there's things you've seen in her that make you want to stick around but as a whole I don't think it's enough. That driving thing is terrible...how thick can you be. I hate selfish people. The truly selfish people are completely unaware of it too. Life is too short to be fixing and lecturing people about that so I think it's easier to just say next. I go through a lot of friends, but I am also picky. I have a few friends that are basically like a bigger extended family, and I feel as many others are close acquaintances. Keep your head up with the dating, I'm not saying you're down...but I am reading about your dates and think you're rolling with the punches very well and just saying keep it up. You'll eventually strike some gold. I'm not a big fan of dating, but I definitely do enjoy the beginning stages of meeting someone enticing and awesome, so looking forward to hear when you do. All the little crap you deal with eventually makes it worth it when you meet the right person. Happy Friday Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Thanks BigKK. I read an article not too long ago about one of the world's oldest women - her secret to longevity was exercising, eating oatmeal, and avoiding men ("they are more trouble than they're worth.") lol. She has it figured out. But seriously, it is better to find a good match than to be in an unhappy relationship struggling. I feel rather tired after Logan, and am enjoying my free weekends and free time and not having to worry about him (not good things). I definitely feel much more like my BS tolerance has gone down, which I guess is a good thing. In body hair related news, I waxed my legs last night (first time in 3 months!) I've also ordered some new dresses on eShakti, I'll see how they look.... Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 My recent purchases: link removed link removed link removed Let's see how they look! I also went to Macy's today - I had a gift card so I bought some new workout wear and more tights. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 I've started watching Unbreakable on Netflix. I love it. It's a bit like 30 rock (obviously because Tina Fey is one of the producers). It's gotten some flack for portraying minorities in a negative way.... but I think it portrays everyone in a negative way - everyone is a caricature of themselves. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 Oh yeah, i had brunch with Carol and her sister who is in town this week for work. Carol's big sis wants to punch Bill in the nose. She read the Valentine's Day card he gave her and was completely unimpressed (the one where he said he is glad that they are "friends.") Carol and Bill and Sis are out right now getting a drink. I wonder if her opinion will be changed after the meeting. Totally random thought: I remember when I was seeing this guy T, about 8 years ago. We met on eharmony and dated about 3 months before he called it off for "not feeling a spark." I remember looking back at our online site where we met, maybe after 6 weeks or so of dating, and I saw that he put the match "on hold" (one of their options back then) because he "wasn't sure about the compatibility." (We were exclusively dating by that point.) However, he never said this to my face. I should have asked him then about that. Instead, I just ignored it, because we were still having nice dates (well, I was usually the one planning them, and he was the one accepting). I think my lesson here is to heed these signs early on and don't be afraid to rock the boat. I should have just said to him, "Hey - I was looking at eHarmony tonight and saw that you put our match on hold. Why is that?" Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 On another random note, I contributed to a kickstarted project recently. It was for a web TV program someone I know is trying to produce. He had a plan, had some preliminary footage, and had an outline of the shows he wanted to shoot. The project was funded, so I am looking forward to seeing the episodes. I was much happier supporting that than contributing to someone's life expenses. It sounds like a neat project. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Ooh love all those dresses! Especially the bird one. Link to comment
BigKK Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I still cringe at kickstarters, some friend's friend has a kick starter for "traveling Europe." *climbs on a soap box* You see back in my day, when I wanted to go places and do things...I'd work extra hard, save up my money, give up on things I liked so I could buy a ticket and go. *climbs off soap box* So when I see someone is straight up Peddling to go to Europe I cringe a little bit, no reason...just because "I want" not to go save honey bees, not to go hug 1000 people, not to bring organic laundry detergent that doesn't kill off some healthy bacteria in sewage, nope... just because she wants to. The part that gets me is I've already seen a $500 donation, and a bunch of other small donations. Sometimes I think if you can't beat them, join them. I know I've ranted about this before, but it gets annoying. I will be posting my kickstarter soon. "Help me see more countries than my well traveled cousin" or something along those lines. or "I feel I might die soon, help me travel" "I watch a lot of WWII documentaries, let me live my dream and visit everywhere I've seen a documentary" or "I throw darts at a map, you pay for the trip" ok I'm done I've started watching Unbreakable on Netflix. I love it. It's a bit like 30 rock (obviously because Tina Fey is one of the producers). It's gotten some flack for portraying minorities in a negative way.... but I think it portrays everyone in a negative way - everyone is a caricature of themselves. Myself and MissK love that show, we binged on it. I like the wackiness while not leaving anyone behind as far as being teased. I think Ellie Kemper does a great job as the lead, while I am not sure I'll ever be able to order Pinot Noir without hearing MissK sing. It's already signed for a second season. It's definitely not a show for everyone. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 I know him personally, so I know he will do a good job with this travel documentary and tell some interesting stories. I mean, I'm sure he will have fun along the way, but I'm confident that he'll have some interesting episodes to watch later this summer. At this point, I would happily fund something that's an actual project, even if it's something like recording an album of an Icelandic Ska/Opera fusion band. At least it's a product with an outcome, and not just "send me to Europe!" Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Ooh love all those dresses! Especially the bird one. I like the third one too. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I still cringe at kickstarters, some friend's friend has a kick starter for "traveling Europe." ... So ... I guess I won't invite you to donate to my new kickstarter: "Pay for my retirement." Link to comment
testcase Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 So ... I guess I won't invite you to donate to my new kickstarter: "Pay for my retirement." Haha that's not a bad idea Ms Darcy!!!!! I guess my company doesn't pay for any. I shouldn't have any faith in anyone else lol. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 my bra broke at work today. i heard a snap. and then the wire was digging into my breast. had to throw it away, now braless at work... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 my bra broke at work today. i heard a snap. and then the wire was digging into my breast. had to throw it away, now braless at work... workmen's comp? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 i know. lol. I feel so distracted because usually i take off my bra when i get home from work (like most women do) and now it feels like I should be lounging around or something. Link to comment
luminousone Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Yikes! How embarrassing! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 well, i was wearing a cardigan today, so not like i'm flopping around. Link to comment
Larkin Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 my bra broke at work today. i heard a snap. and then the wire was digging into my breast. had to throw it away, now braless at work... Uhhh.....pics? lol Link to comment
Dummy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Hey annie, what's the latest on your dating front? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 blah. so there's this guy who i've been chatting with a little online, and he's very keen to meet (like asked me out in the 2nd message). I'd kind of rather chat a little first, but he really wants to meet. I'm not too excited about him. otherwise, nothing. i haven't replied to any of his last 3 messages. i went out to dinner with my friends (a married couple). they were just like, "keep trying, etc..." honestly, i'm kind of happy being single right now. Link to comment
Dummy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 That's 1 tricky thing about online dating. Some women want to meet right away, some want to message for a month. It's hard to figure out. It's a guessing game for the guy. Anyway, glad you're happy being single. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 That's 1 tricky thing about online dating. Some women want to meet right away, some want to message for a month. It's hard to figure out. It's a guessing game for the guy. Anyway, glad you're happy being single. I found it so easy to figure out. If he didn't want to talk by phone after one or two emails and set up a time to meet within one or two phone calls (if we had enough in common, of course!) then I moved on. No guessing game, all factual. Some people are fine chatting longer -nothing wrong with that but it's easy to figure out. It sounds like you're not that into him Annie and the guy didn't even offer to talk by phone before asking you to meet which is a little unusual. Link to comment
testcase Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Hmmm I normally send 3 or 4 emails before I ask for a date. I usually ask for a date by email and don't even talk on the phone before them. I guess everyone's different. Maybe I should just ask to talk on the phone first? I'll try that this summer lol. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I never agreed to meet someone before talking by phone - for safety reasons as well as to see how we communicated on the phone -there were several men I exchanged emails where we got along great and the phone call was a whole different story. I never considered those first meets dates or thought that I was being asked for a date. Link to comment
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