SapphireNoir10

Please don't propose until you sort this out. Can you go to couples counselling? could she be depressed? you need to have a serious talk about this issue, and she needs to be willing to try and get help or give you a reason on why she doesn't want sex anymore.

Sounds like way too much drama for five dates.

As long as you are happy that is what matters.

He told you he won't compromise? So he's saying either you let him cheat on you, or, he will leave you?! You deserve so much more than this, please please don't put up with this behaviour.

Our joint bank account is purely put money into it, direct debits come out. We put a set amount in each month that covers the bills and groceries only. No extra. We have no overdraft facilities on it and you can't take out any loans/credits cards etc without both parties agreeing. We had it even before we got married as we lived together for 2 years first. I get what you are saying, as it can be dangerous, but there are way to take measures to make it safe. Although I have just looked into it and it says it can affect your credit score...so there is that to consider.

What me and my husband do is we both have seperate bank accounts, then we have a joint account where we both agreed how much we'd each put in a month based on our incomes. So he earns more so he puts in more. Then all the bills/groceries go out of that joint account and whatever is left in our accounts after paying into the joint is our own.

It's going to hurt but if you want her back respect her decision and give her time and space.

Life is too short to waste it on an unhealthy relationship. You can do this, I believe in you. Keep telling yourself you deserve more, and your children deserve more. They need a happy mom.

It's not normal end of. Can you afford a therapist? They will help you see you are being abused. How can it possibly be your fault he cheats on you with multiple women? How can it possibly be your fault he verbally abuses you, no matter what you do, you don't deserve that. You need to leave. For your children. This isn't a good enviroment for them. It doesn't matter whose fault the fighting is, only that the relationship is toxic. It's not ok to expose kids to that relationship.

Please ask for help. There is no shame in getting help. Believe you can get better, because you can.

If I was you I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of meeting him, he's trying to worm his way back in.

He's unfaithful and abusive. You have to put your children first. They need to grow up seeing they have a strong mother figure who won't put up with this behaviour. Otherwise they will grow up thinking this is what relationships are, or this is how men treat women. Also even when they are super young they pick up on the tension/arguments. It's better to be a single mother in my opinion than to have to deal with all this abuse and heartbreak constantly. I think you'd find yourself a lot happier on your own. First step is to stop letting him manage YOUR money. Start a new account, put YOU

There isn't a lot you can do other than tell her that whatever she chooses now if she does choose to leave him oneday you'll be ready and waiting to help her. Let her know she still has support if she does decide to leave. Honestly, if the kids are going to be around abuse and drinking etc I'd report them both to CPS, foster care is better than being exposed to physical/emotional abuse and alcoholism.

How did he get you pregnant without your consent? So many red flags, sounds controlling, insecure, paranoid and doesn't respect what YOU want.

^^ Very, is she under the age of consent where you live because it's pretty concerning.