deviousj420

hey, hope sumone can help me... i met this guy one nyte after i crashed my car, i was crying so hard i didnt even know who he was but i went up to him n hugged him(i wasa lil tipsy) and just cried, then he followed me back to my crash site and he said: "deviousj, thats deviousj" he recgonized my pic from link removed we had matched up on there b4, a few months ago but he was in north dakota in the military and i was home in nj sop i payed no bother to it. anyways, that was the time he was home on vacation leave and thats when i met him. we hung out every day for the next two weeks n him n i both agree we felt like we had known each other forever and got along so well. the whole time we were apart we always thought about each other and talked about how we would be together when we got home. well hes home now and even tho i havea BF of almost a year, i fell those feelings coming back again and we both agree on taking things slow and want all the same things and i dontknow... my current BF doesnt really enjoy the same things i do and i dont feel connected to him in the way i feel connected to jon. jon knows i havea BF, my Bf doesnt know about jon. does this sound like my soulmate? should i leave my comfort and security for what my body feels to be my soulmate?

no no jon just came home - he is here for good now. jon is here and mario is here. and im dating mario but i want to hang out wth jon and i dont want to hurt anyone but i want to be happy and i dont know were that lies... be true to myself? my heart tells me deep down jon is the one but mario is sucha good guy i dont want to hurt him n i want to take care of him but.... ooo i dont know.

ok - so jon left sept 1 2003 to go back to the miltary after his 2 week vacation. in which during that time we hit it off so great n i assured him and myself even if i was ina relationship when i got home id end it n get with him. well, hes home. and im in a relationship. for almost a year. he finally told me he loves me too. and i dont want to hurt him. i dont want to hurt jon. i dont want to end up hurting myself. me and mario have a good time but he and i dont enjoy all the same activities. me and jon enjoy the same type of things and have fun (well had fun them 2 weeks i knew him and we hung out) im so torn, i think i really love mario but i know i had so much fun with jon. jons parents can accept me for me and what ive done. marios mom flipped and would never accept even when i haveta tell her what truth is. the truth is i was married b4 and have a kid. i know jon would better get along with jerey(my son) because mario is kinda weirded out by the whole thing. i dont know what to do. i need advice please!

we were together for 8 1/2 months - i hadnt talked or chilled with my 2 girlfriends in over 2 years - saturday i went out with them n invited him, he said he would feel stupid meetin my friends cuz they would think hes my 100th BF. anyways so i called him at 930 n 11 just to say hi - at 1 i called him again but he was still hangin out with his friends n i busted his balls about girls bein there even tho i trust him i only did it cuz hes very ire when i hang out with guys. anyways so i said i didnt want to talk to him n hung up - at 145 he called me twice but i was goin to bed n didnt wanna deal withhim - i didnt sleep homne, i slept ata friends. sunday i called him n he went off on me tellin me how i was a mistake he could never love me he cant believe he was even with me - just talkin a bunch of stuff n usualy im like oh baby no dont be mad io love you but this time i went off on him because it was ridiculous for himto be mad i was only hangin out with my girlfriends who i hadnt seen in mad long so i just said whatever its ur loss n hung up on him its thursday n my stuff is still at his house, i dont feel as tho imready to go over there n get it and im going to bring a friend when i do but i miss him at nyte n i miss being held n cuddled with everyone sayd to let it go n its been 4 days of copin with it n i dont want to get back with him cuz im happier n bvetter off without him - we had no real similar interests anyways.... should i call him to talk or just when im ready to get my stuff? every one says not to call him let him call me but i no he wont - n i guess i should wait till im ready to get my stuff? im so confused any advice would work - why is breaking up so hard to do? but yet imkinda relieved....... im really confused. [-o

Ive been with my man for about 7 months. Im happy cuz i know i can trust him and that hesa good guy. But he doesnt share an interest in some of things i do so when we go out together its mostly to hang out with his friends or do sumthin he wants. I like to go rollerbladin, the beach, shoppin, great adventure - he doesnt like any of that - and he has a problem with me hangin out with my friends cuz there all guys - so now i like dont have friends n do most of this stuff by myself. which sucks exspecially since i havea boyfriend i should be able to do those things with. ya no? anyways, i think i want to break up so i can find myself, be myself and not make these sacrifices cuz it kinda leaves me viod and unhappy ina sense. he has said that if we break up he probably wouldnt talk to me for likea year cuz he would have to get over it. or he might not ever talk to me agian. i am on pretty good terms with all of my exes. we get along great even though our breakups were horrible. but this one would be just an we dont have alotta common ground it wont work kinda break up. anyways, i think since today is tuesday, i could just ignore him till friday and not answer my fone when he calls. then friday have my girlfriend go over there to get my stuff. this way i dont have to ever see talk or deal ith him again. yes i no this sounds so super unfair but he would be dointhe same thing to me after the breakup - and i think this would be a better way for me to break up anyways. it would benifit me. and i need to worry about beniiftting myself cuz in our relationship i always put him and his feelings first. which is why i hold anger and resentment towards him in this weird mental sense. i duno, im confused and need advice. i guess it would be best for me to be single and find myself and just wait for someone to come along who i share common ground with. and that i can do things with. honestly i think his problem is he needs meds or sumthin cuz he has social anxeity disorder.... but he would never seea doc. help!

This is big. And its gonna be long..... I was once married, a TOTAL mistake. I also had a child when i was 16 but he is living with his father. I had brang pics of me to my BF's house just for him to see. 2 of were me n my son. the backof the pic had said me and jeremy, but once i scratched out me and wrote mommy and jeremy. there were 2 of me n my friend on my wedding day inour dresses. his mother saw the photo packet layin there in his room and picked them up n looked at them. then she FLIPPED OUT! i wasnt there, my BF called me up and told me it wasnt a good idea for me to come over cuz his mom found those pix and was goin ballistic. he never said anything to his mother while she confronted him about it tho. he just turned up the tv and ignored her. anyways, this is all a part of my past i want erased. i dont want anyone to now because it was a mistake. so when i went over there i told his mom that the pix of me and my friend are from halloween since there was another pic of me dressed up once upon a time from halloween - so it kinda went together. then there was the pic of me n jeremy but i told her it was my best friends kid n i just loved the kid so much i wrote momy cuz i was his pretend mommy. and the she moved to arkansas. i feel horrible for lying. i really wish she could have known the truth. but she is from poland ( the old country) and thats something she couldnt understand, let alone accept. i wish she could know the truth but now it is to late. i question my relantionship with my boyfriend because shes always meddling, she says she likes me but she also says horrible things when she goes snooping or knows that me n him are fighting. horrble things such as, why dont you get a normal girlfriend, if you want to see her move out, shes not aloud here anymore, shes probably sleeping with every other guy, horrible hurtful things. tho shes says them in polish so i cant understand. i rely on him to tell me what she says but i doubt he even tells me half of it. though he does say it is bad and i dont wanna know. this hurts. alot. i never had parents of my opwn, i was raised by my grandmother and always dreamed of becoming one with my significant others family. tho i dont no, now that this lie is out there, i dont know if i can ever make it right. and i wish my boyfriend would have come to my defense but he said he didnt say anything cuz he didnt know what i was gonna end up sayin n he usually does just ignore her anyway when she nags. please give me some insight and advice. hes 25 on friday, im 22.

Im 22 - i want to go to college - i want to buy a house - i want to do things on my own and i sont want to be held back and worry about school and babysitters and so forth - when i was 16 and pregnant and b4 i even got pregant noone told me this was all going to happen - i wish i had better guidance - but i didnt and now im realizing that this isnt something i was prepared for - let alone want to deal with right now. I love himto death and wish this wasnt happening but its aloton my physically mentally and emtionally. He is living with his father right now and even on the weekends sometimes im tied up in my own life to see him. Though i do make effort to see him. I know his father isnt the best but if hes happy...... i dont know. But i wasnt ever ready to have this child and i wish i knew then what i know now. Its hard. Too hard. And yes ill admit. i am weak. i guess im just looking for others opinions. i dont know. but i do feel bad for my child as my mother left me when i was 4 - but i delt - not so good - but i delt - i dont know.......

ive felt that way b4 and styill sumtimes even do now - i got on meds from my dr for depression - try sumthin - itll change ytou around alot - dont be afraid - cuz really its just an option to see if it works - dont got no other options at the time bein ryte? so try that - anyways 0 i love to travel n thats sumthin i wanna do alot jsut to get out of here cuz new excitement and journey is what i crave n what motivates me most - id love to come with ya next time you leave - but for real talk to your dr n see what thewy haveta say - im takin lexapro nit works wonders - tho sumtimes imstill retarted in the head =0)~ i feek 75% better hope ya feel better! heather

ok well guys - i thought about it and i dont want to jepordize my relantionship with my BF - tho it was in jeporady this past weekend....see my latest post - anyways, flirting is fine to an extent but i will not let it overcome me in any physical form. i thank you al for taking the time to write and voice your opinons. thought i amonly young once n shuld use what i got while i got it. eventualy that will go away but my man will be there long after....... stability is better then uncertianty.... even if uncertainty seems to be funner at times.....right?

did you ever create a list of pros n cons about the relationship you guys had? do it.... then decide which one carries more weight.... theres your answer.... regardless of how much you love someone or sumthing.... if the cons are outweighing the pros, then it only hurts just as much to be together.... and at least by not being together it might huirt for a little bit - but not as constant as if you were together... i think im goin thru like the same thing with my man - n it hurts - i dont no if we shuld break up or continue or what.... i hope my advice helps n it would be kewl if you could check out my thing n give me sum 2 heather

ok here we go again........ friday i was hangin out with mario - @ 9:30 his boys called him to go ridin, he said he felt bad for dissin me and that if i didnt want him to go just tell him n he wont - i was like no go - go do ur thing... @ 11:15 he called me up to meet back up but i was in bed goin to sleep so saturday nyte to make sure id have sumthin to do n not get left hangin i made plans - i went out to eat with anthony n pete during which mario called me n seemed ok - like he didnt say anything about it or seem mad - then i went down the shore with pete n people from his work -at 11:30 when i was on my way back i called mario to see if he wanted to chill n he was like "no im goin to bed why are you callin me at 1130 to hang out - what you do all nyte" then we kinda was arguin n stuff then he asked who i was with , i was with pete drivin back from the shore n he said " i dont wanna have this discusion with him there so how bout you call me ummm never, bye" and i was like whatever n hung up. so sunday i didnt call him at all n he didnt call me. today i couldnt help it n called him up at work, i was like hi n he said hello, he said he wasnt mad at me and i then i said wel call me later he said "why" i was like ok then... i duno ill tty sumtime then i said well can i call you later n he said i dont care - tho there was no mention of me pickin up my stuff.... i kinda think he just wants me to baby him up kinda n like show him i care n stuff - which i do! i guess its wrong for a girl to hang out with other guys when she hasa man - but there just friends and i dont want anybody else but him - he dont like the shore so of course he wouldnt go with me.... so i just went with friends.... im kinda ok with bein single but i miss him so much - i love him... we were together for 6 months.... i dont no what to do! i need advice please!!!

wow - i never thougt i would be writing about this because i thought i was so in love with my boyfriend.....till my coworker and i started flirting alot, going out to lunch during the day, the shore this past saturday and have plans this thursday nyte and sunday day. Im really happy with my boyfriend though my coworker isnt as happy as he could be with his wife. yea.... hes married. and im dating. yet we still flirt heavily and its fun - i mean im holding myself back from cheating - i dont want to mess with a married man and i sure dont want to jepordize my current relationship - but...... even thought its harmless flirting (well maybe not so harmless) - i remember the days when flirting was fun! should i back away? and not hang out with him outside of work - hes 27 with a son and married , im 22 and dating. hes fun to chill with and the flirting is okay cuz its just a naturaul and healthy thing but its becoming so strong that sometimes i just want to jump his bones. but control wont let me. enless we both end our current relantionships and begin one of our own nothing sexual will happen. i dont think. so what do i do? stay away, keep my control and still chill, or....? help!

im 22 yrs old, mario is 24. Weve been together 6 months. I feel as though ive allready fallen in love with him, but now i may be falling out. Or at least trying and wanting to fall out of love with him. Why? I told mario b4 that i loved him. I knew he didnt love me back. I know now he still does not love me back. Granted, it has only been six months and im not trying to rush him, but i feel as though im giving more then im getting back. My feelings for him are deep. Deeper then his for mine. I dont want to get hurt, im trying to look out for myself. Leaving the relantionship is silly because its so great. Its just I dont now how long it will take for himto realize his feelings towards me. He has told me he likes me alot and cares for me alot. His actions only show his affection. Should i just chill out and kinda back off(tho when i told him this he said no! why?) or should i keep getting in deeper unsure of what might happen. I think i want to be a priority in his life. Maybe i dont feel that way as much because sometimes his outside interests dont always involve me. Geez, readin that last sentence makes me look/feel kinda selfish or sumthin..... i dont know what to do. i love this guy who doesnt love me back....yet.

I have 2 children. A 6 yr old boy who i cared for most of his life or at least tried to. And a 16 month old whomhas been with his father since birth. I am 22 years old. Looking back now i realize the consequences my actions had. At the time i did not. I know i cannot provide a stable secure environment for my 6 yr old son. His father was hardly ever in the picture - only when it was convienent for him. I want to give him up to a family member in florida. I know they will be able to provide him with a financial, emotional and stable secure environment. This is for his future best interest. He has never met these family memebers before but im sure he will be better off there then with his father. Who now has come into the picture but only slightly. Jeremy is living at his grandmothers with his aunt and 3 cousins - on the fathers side. They smoke and drink and his father has a drug problem and no secure job. He hasnt amounted to much in his 25 years. Now they want to keep jeremy - he isnt stable there either. Im so torn. Jeremy will still have contact with us and maybe even come up for the summer. But i know he needs to be there. Im sure he will adjust eventually over time. They can give him hugs and kisses and the love and stuff he wont have the oppertunity for here. Am i wrong? Am i selfish? This is sucha hard desicion and it kind of leaves me empty feeling but i feel as though its right. I wasnt ready to have a child and i tried for 6 years but am ready to accepot the fact that not only cant i but in a way - i dont want to. I just want some opinions on my actions and thoughts. Is this really terrible of me?

Ive been with my guy for almost 5 months now. We are both very deeply connected within our souls. I feel in love with him and im ure he feels the same way. Our actions speak very loudly. I want to tell him i love him because i do and i want to say it along with showing it. He has told me he will not say it unless he honestly truly means it. I know he feels it because he shows it. I am willing to accept that if i say it he might not say it back but i just want to say it to him, to verbally let it be known as well as physically. Im open for any opinions or suggestions you might have - please post! Thanks! Heather

Ok so my boyfriend of 4 months does not trust me at all. He has told me because he knows my past, which he doesnt have a problem with , but he knows it and that causes himnot to trust me. I havent given him any reason not to trust me and yes i admit before in past relationships used to be bad but i want to change n i dont want to cheat anymore. I love my boyfriend to death n do nutin but show n try to prove that to him but he still dont trust me. i know you cant havea relationship without trust, and im almost considering breaking up with him cuz its not good. for him anyways to not be able to trust me. anyways, i need advice cuz this summer i wann getta beach house fora week, though he said hell break up with me if i go thou i invited him he jsut despises the shore so teres no way hell go , i duno i need advice im sad =0(, please help