joanony

haha thanx for the suggestions guys!!! don't know about the platforms (or the stilts ...) due to my innate clumsiness/balancing probs. i don't get to see my boy until the weekend but i'll let you guys know how it goes!!! haha

we did kind of try that but (and no offence to my boy!!!) he's a bit of a wiener and can't support me (either that or i seriously gotta lose some weight!)

I am 5'1 and my bf is 6'1 and I (we? hehe) REALLY want to try sex standing up but can never seem to quite get everything ... err ... aligned properly or get into a comfortable position for both of us if we do manage to 'get aligned' eg once we tried it in the shower and i was on my utmost tiptoes and it was good for a bit but i was concentrating more on not slipping and falling so we got bored and ended up on the bed (again) lol anyone got some solutions?

I'm not sure if this is in the right topic but here goes: I met my bf whilst working overseas (Canada) and he is UK and I am Australian. Went out for about 4 months then he went home and I went travelling and met him in the UK for 10 days and it got really emotional and eventually he ended up coming to Australia. We have been 'together' for 14 months now. I say 'together' becase in May everything went pear-shaped (he arrived in February). He was unhappy bcos he didn't have many friends (just his 2 housemates) and he didn't think we were communicating like a couple 'should be' after a year together so he wanted a week 'break' after which he broke up with me but we still remained 'friends'. 3 days later I had my bday lunch with a big bunch of my friends which he attended then left when I went to have tea with some other ppl. He then calls and says lunch was weird and he wants to talk so I meet up with him for a few hours and he tells me he thinks he may have made the wrong decision. Then I have the drinks part of my bday celebrations and he stays for a while then goes off to meet some mutual friends (from Canada who recently came back to oz) and I meet up with them after a bit with all my crew. When I get there, he is incredibly drunk (I am a little tipsy myself) and he keeps talking to this girl all night and ignoring me. I go home to sleep at my friends place and meet up with him for lunch the next day to talk things thru and the week after he says he wants to give it another go and i said "are you sure" and he said yes so we did. a week later he broke it off again and i also find out that he and that girl ended up going back to his place and short of actually having sex (only because he passed out from being so drunk) they did pretty much everything else (ie they were naked in his bed hours before i went to see him). so this time i think "right, it's def over this time" so i apply for a masters course interstate which was all a bit hectic as it was mid-year intake and i had 9 days to make an application + portfolio which should normally be a 3 week process. when i tell him this he gets really depressed and tells me he 'misses me' and 'what if' he moved interstate and we could start afresh. but i couldn't deal with it because i wanted to focus on my application. after submission, i spent the whole w/e with him and the next two weeks waiting for the interview and acceptance to go thru, we have a really good relationship just hanging out and being comfortable with each other like we always wanted as a couple but without 'officially' having discussed what was going on as everything was up in the air re: my moving away. then i got accepted 5 days before the course started and had to fly down days later. so i've been here for a week now and lots of intense emails and phone calls later, he's def decided he's going to come down and we'll make a proper go of things and get a room in a sharehouse together which will be in 3 weeks time and i'm really excited about it. but i've had a lot of time alone to think this week (as i don't really know anyone here yet) and i don't know if i'm doing the right thing. i just want to be with him all the time but i never thought i would give anyone a second let alone a third chance esp. when they've hurt me so much. also, tonight i'm sitting at home alone while i know he's having a party at his house and i just keep thinking back to that girl and it makes me sick to think that something like that might happen tonight even though he's booked his flight and given notice about his job/house etc. so i don't know, i guess i'm just looking for advice on how to trust him again or if i should be doing any of this at all. help!!!

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Hey guys, any suggestions how to move from 'just friends' to something more? I've been working with this guy for a cpl of months but have gotten to know him fairly well in the last few weeks. I thought he was cute when I started working but now that I know him, I think he is so amazing!!! We have heaps in common and the same refusal to grow up ie we act like kids and have the greatest fun and laughs. Now, I was fairly confident that he was into me (you know, the whole "sensing the vibes" thing) esp one day he rang my dept 3 times to make sure I'd take my break with him. I also bumped into him at the train station once and he goodbye-kissed a girl on the cheek and my face must have had a hugely involuntary expression of disappointment or something coz he turns to me and then after a bit, goes "Oh, that was my sister" even though I didn't ask him. When we first met, he was giving another girl at work his number (so she could do a shift for him) but was looking straight into my eyes as he read it out. Yeah, its all the little things that get me wondering... So ANYWAY, on Monday, I rang him to get him down to lunch and we went to the park and had a beautiful chat about life and the like. I was feeling good and had made my mind up to tell him before the week was up that I was interested in something more than friendship but on the Monday lunch, he told me this story that on the weekend a girl confessed she had been infatuated with him for 3 months, confronted him about "all the sexual tension" and accused him of doing things that made her think they were pretty much dating to which he told her he was oblivious to it and was only doing normal friend-type things with her. Being me, I said jokingly "So what's the problem? Why don't you just get in for a piece of action while you're young?" and he said "Because I'm waiting for someone (pause) someone I really like" and he was looking right at me while saying this but I couldn't look him in the eye. Then a group of us went to catch a band after work that night and we all had heaps of fun and laughs but I'm pretty sure I was subconsciously spending more time with this other girl that I get along with spectacularly in order to avoid him (why would I want to avoid him you ask? The answer is I don't know!!!!). Now I'm all confused about whether he really is into me or if I am similar to this other girl (who he decidedly labelled "delusional"). On the outside, all the time we spend together IS just "friend-type" stuff but I'm usually pretty good at figuring people out. But this time I can't figure out if by saying that he's waiting for someone if its me (please?), someone else (damn them!) or noone at all!!! (ie he's literally waiting to meet someone new who he really likes). Any suggestions on how to treat this affliction of mine? I've never dated friends before coz I find it impossible to view them in a different way once I've established a friendship but I was interested in him before I knew him properly so it's different. I just want to know whether he wants something more, otherwise my interest might turn into a marvelously acute obsession. How do I find out? If its all systems go, what's the 'normal' protocol when it comes to letting him know how I feel? Or if he isn't interested, what's the best way to let him know how I feel without him avoiding me like the plague? (Even though I didn't mean to or want to do it, I know I've done the avoidance thing before when friends admitted they liked me but I didn't like them in that way) I kinda just want him to know even if he doesn't return the feelings. I'm weird like that. (Is this post too long? I'll try to make future ones shorter...)

as an asian girl with other asian girl friends, i know that none of us likes the terms 'oriental' or 'exotic' to be used when describing us. to me, it makes me feel like a novelty. you may as well point and stare at me behind bars at a circus. although when we went to england and 'asian' meant indians instead of chinese/japanese etc, we had to make do with the 'oriental' tag by default. so maybe its just conditioning. i've lived in sydney for 20 of my 23 years and yet people still judge me by my hair and eyes. during the olympics, i was waiting for friends on a bench and a stranger walked up and asked "are you okay? are you lost?" a customer (i work in a shop) once said "your english is really good" as a compliment to which i replied, "it should be, i've been here a while." so i know a lot of people think they're being compassionate and tolerant when they ask such things, but these little things sometimes makes me wonder why i stay somewhere where so many people assume instantly that i don't belong. ---------------------- think before you speak (but not too much or you might never say them at all!!!)

Reading thru all these posts I know that a lot of people share the same feelings as I do re: feeling empty and aimless. It seems the older I get, the more childish I become and I just get more confused about everything. I've had intermittent and frequent bouts of sad attacks since I can remember, maybe since about 10 years old or so and they just hit me so acutely then seem so ridiculous a day or two later. As the years went on, they were brought on my different things and then gradually became about nothing, I would frequently feel sad for no reason at all. For instance, I had a wonderful day on Sunday with a boy at work I'm interested in and there seem to be good vibes. It was a good fun day at work, even though I'd only been there a month or so, I've already got quite a few good friends there. But somehow on the train home, I just started to get into this dark mood and my mind just kept spinning and I couldn't keep up with all these random thoughts in my head that were making me feel really off-balanced, like something wasn't right in the greater universe of something. I keep having these little epiphanies in my life, like realising how little things can really brighten up ur day, or how small I am in the world so I shouldn't beat myself up over my mistakes because they really don't matter. And these little thoughts can cheer me up instantly when they dawn on me but I can't sustain a sense of well-being no matter how many times I tell myself that I won't let myself be swallowed up by self-pity and self-loathing anymore. I don't know what to do with my life. I thought I knew what I wanted to be (when I grew up which I assumed would be around now - I'm 23) but I just don't have a passion for it anymore. I'm not passionate about anything really and anything I like always seems to be a passing interest. I keep travelling overseas to escape any sense of responsibility at home regarding my 'future' (I graduated last year so that responsibility ie career mortgage etc is rearing up on me bigtime and I always feel judged when people ask me what I'm doing now I've graduated and I seem to be justifying my casual retail job to all the "tsks tsks" I'm imagining from the minds of all the suits that come in once they find out I'm not studying anymore) and because when I'm travelling my future doesn't matter, I am only for the there and then and loving every minute of it, discovering new things with every passing moment. I try to keep the same sense of interest at home but it's just too easy and familiar and I don't even feel like I fit in in the city I grew up in, like something simply doesn't gel between us. An unforeseen side effect of this aimlessness is that this boy I'm interested in intimidates me because he's only 21 but seems so creative (I studied graphics so creativity is a big issue for me, he's doing an architecture degree) and focused and passionate. The more I get to know him, the more intimiated and less sure I am that I'd be good enough for him. Even though he seems interested at the very least to get to know me better (he instigated the lunch tete-a-tete), I'm scared I'm starting to give him the wrong impression about my own feelings towards him because I know I'm becoming quieter around him like I'm afraid I'll say something ridiculous to turn him off completely. I don't know, I'm just ranting and rambling. I just wish I could get rid of these darker feelings but they've been with me for so long it just feels like its a part of me that no-one has any idea exists and I feel like such a fraud when I interact with anybody. -------------------- You are what you love, not what loves you