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Babe, I feel my ex won't ever call me either....it's been 2 months 6 days....i don't try to contact, but these past 3 days have been as hard as the first 3 and I broke down. I miss her so much and knowing she is with someone else makes the realization that much harder that I won't every be with her again. I know, I know move on find someone else, but this girl broke the mold for me. I know I can't make her miss me if I don't let her be, but i'm afraid that me leaving her alone and not reaffirming my love and compassion will do the similar.

I wish I could give you the answer to your question, but if I knew it I wouldn't be in the same situation. This girl is the first one to have blown me away and our relationship for me lasted a very long time, but the same night she told me she loved and we'd be together forever she broke-up with me and never looked back. I knew how to handle all this from the beginning, but she became my life and replaced everything and everyone because I never felt more happy then while i was with her. I was having problems with roommates and my biggest consideration for a new place was so that we were much closer. Now most of my close friends have graduate or they weren't as good a friends as I originally thought. Now I have to start all over from the beginning. My life has bee shattered into a billion pieces and is taking every ounce of me to find and pick these pieces up. Unfortunately in the mean time my time hasn't been as productive as it should. I missed her so much that I couldn't help but call/text message her explanations, anger, miss, and love.......it's so difficult and now 2 months later I've started to cry the past couple of days. I consider myself a strong individual unfortunately this one has me torn up.

My biggest problem is that I can't see her for who she and how she treats me now. She became the most important person and thing in my life, she became my life. That's all I can see her for is the person I loved beyond belief. If any other person said, did, or treated me the way she has they'd either get a foot up their wahoo or completely remove them from my life. I realize what and how I should react to her now, but it's so difficult when the only one you really love and trust turns their back on you. It feels like your parents turning their back on you and telling you that you aren't worth it.

Hey pip, I'm going through the same exact thing...and my ex has a mirror image of your ex's thought pattern. I know she still has to care for me and still finds me very attractive but it seems that the more she want she thinks these things the more repulsed she gets. I wish I knew why she would think like this...by all means read some of my prior post about my relationship. This girl was the "one" i'm pretty sure and after lots of we are going to be together for ever talk she suddenly dropped me out of nowhere. Now she is saying the same thing your ex is, but i think she has a roommate and a couple of friends that are giving her bad information about me. (They'll run into me and then they skew the information to sound bad) God I want her back more then anything this world can offer me, but I know I shouldn't have to feel like I need to justifty lies coming from her friends but I can't help but think she's taking it as fact.

Stolen heart....I am in the same exact boat as you are. I'd love to know the right thing to do. This girl was my first true love and I just feel like i've been duped. She act towards me in completely different in everyway possible. I don't understand....she promised me not even 2 weeks prior to the breakup that she wanted to be with me forever and that when I had a feeling she was gong to breakup with me...she assured me she wasn't...how can I already be replaced and erased in such a short period of time.

Hey, Welcome to my world....my ex broke up with me 2 months ago and she was everything i've looked for and I somehow knew this right when I met her.....kind of weird since i've never over my many relationships felt this. I was doing alright for a week or so, but the past 2 days have been hell...i try to keep myself occupied, but they slip in and that once thought is enough to send me into an emotional wreck....which is crying and complete hostility. If you wanna read any of my post just click on my name and follow the link. I'll post something more later......good luck.....I know i need it

thanks to those who replied, but since this post i've either cried or became unbearable frustrated with thhe idea that the greatest love of my life was nothing at all and that some other guy is enjoying the "in's and outs" of the girl i am sure i want to marry. Right now my feelings have gone into self-destruct mode and it's what i do next that scares me. I can't as hard as I try see past the only 2 options that seem plausible for me and that is make myself the most I can be and show her i've changed and get her back -or- use my huge social power and dirt that i have and make her life like mine.

Hey everyone.......need suggestions/comments/just tell shut up, I've been in many relationships and never have a problem with the ladies, but I am still so captivated by this amazing relationship and want the person back that made it possible. For reference purposes this is my original post: link removed (Not really necessary to read, but just incase you want to) My life seems to be a rollercoaster of emotions. I've never been a violent person, but this feeling of helplessness gets me so frustrated that it seems to be the only outlet that surfaces at the end of the cycle of denial and depression. My passion of exercise is the only other thing that helps me out, but it's not meidically pratical to do this 24/7. I've tried most of everything else and that hasn't seemed to work. My ex of now 2 months, which to some of you may seem like nothing, but this has been by far the hardest 2 months of my life. This girl brought something to my life that no one has every done. (Friends, family, etc..) I'm a very popular guy at college and no matter how much I try not to think about her I can't, and so on and so forth. To avoid the risk of losing friends, I put on the biggest front to keep from annoying them with this whole thing. Now for the great information that has happened over the past two months. If you want to just reply to the above without reading what may be a short novel, please do. For those that are willing to read on...it'll be intrestingly delightful. Well, i've signed with a couple of agencies for modeling and looks like I may be getting a house bought for me right outside of New York, but this is completely dependant on whether or not me having to finish out school will interfere. Everyone is like awesome and that should be enough motivation to feel much better, but it doesn't. Not even 2 weeks later she is already talking to someone else and from what people tell me she's with him. I ran into my ex once at the gym running the track and I didn't know how I was going to handle it so I just left. Of course that started my emotions flowing. The next encounter was at my apartment....my apt. parking lot is right next to the entrance/exit out of the college parking lot. Well I was just getting back from the gym and as I was getting out of my car I saw her coming out of the parking lot.....now i know anyone knowing where their just recent ex lives they will be interested enough to look and see if there car is in the parking lot, but she drove right by me which I could only assume that she was ignoring me. A week ago in the gym one of her guy friends who I knew came up to me and asked how everything was going....I just told him it's going and wasn't going to get into the whole situation, but he asked me for my side. Which come to find out he was happy he talked to me, because he said she had conveniently left out some of the big things and that he couldn't believe she did or said any of that let alone breakup with me. On top of that he knows the new guy personally and he said that he told her that it was a big mistake for her to do see him and do what she's doing. This surpised me since this guy always seemed to not like me. Well this week like the past have consisted of lots of drinking and partying. I was going out friday and one of her roommates told me hi and asked what i was up to and i kept it short and just said I was probably going out to this bar. Well sure enough her and 2 of her friends show up, by this time i was pretty hammered. Well they just tood there in a group looking my way everyonce and awhile and I just acted as if i was ignoring them. My friends were told me to just move to the other side of the bar, since I couldn't bring myself to talking to her. So the night goes on and sure enough she just happens to walk to the other side of the bar and with doing it walks right by me....I wasn't going to say anything, but she said hi and I just said hey and threw my hands up and just said talk to you later. Well her and her friends went and stood in there group not 10 feet from where I was. I knew a bunch of hot girls and told them to act like they were all over me.....well this seemed to get her going because she left pretty quick. Me being drunk though of course i think now I just missed a perfect opportunity. The next day I couldn't resist because she was looking so very good and text messaged her. Just saying hi and how have you been.....her reply was I'm going to New Orleans to watch "her new guy" play soccer.....I replied ok, well maybe we'll talk some other time. The comment she made though tore me up......so off to my boys and the bottle. Last night one of her friends was around and I told her hi and to tell my ex hi......instead of just saying ok she said "not be mean, but she has a new guy"......i just thought to myself w.t.f.....i replied "I know and I hope she's happy, I did what I could...and take it easy".......well leave it to the emotion I haven't cried since the day she broke up with me, but last night was a repeat. I guess I don't really have any questions that I need answered, but I would love to hear any comments/suggestions.

I think the best thing to do is not think about advancing you guys' relationship past where it is. If you push she'll pull away and everything will just become unconfortable. It seems like you 2 have a really good friendship and if she likes you then she has to do the right thing and break up with her boyfriend, but make sure she comes to that decision and it wasn't you that pushed it or brought it up.

Hi Pip, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. I've always been a person who would get depressed for no reason, was always tired, and always really irratable. When I got into college and started doing worse in school my friends and professors suggest I go get tested for Attention Deficit Disorder. I made an appointment just to see. Well sure enough I had it a lot worse then I knew. What I didn't know is that the medication makes depression even worse. This cause a great strain in my relationship and I ended up getting broken up with. Around this time I couldn't understand why I was always tired regardless of how much sleep I got. My normal physician diagnosed me with depression, but I didn't believe her so I brought it up with my psychiatrist and after a lot of test he was surprised he missed it. I was soon after put on a low dosage of prozac and it helped me out quite a bit. I was not longer tired and was told that I was actually a pleasant person to be around. I just recently was broken up with by this girl I absolutely loved and adored, and she made me so happy I figured I didn't need my medication and got off it cold turkey. Little did i know it would also be the downfall of this relationship. I got very irratable, every little thing set me off. I never told my Dr. til' recently I did this and he said it was like coming off anything else and the body didn't like it. It's been two months since this girl broke up with me and I don't think I'd be able to live my life right now if I didn't have this medication.

I wish I could honestly tell you, because my most recent ex was my life. I loved her more then anyone else in my life (past or present). She told me she loved me a lot and that she knew she wanted to be with me forever. I put up a post a little while back under relationships. I feel your pain because I also feel like there is something I'm missing and just want to know how we went from everything to nothing in roughly a week. I look forward to any replies you get or anything for that fact. I have a lot of hypothesis about what the reasons were, but I'll probably never know.

awesome that's all i have to say....it definitely expresses my feelings, I wish I could come put my feelings to use like that. If you have anything else post it.

Lately, she has done nothing but be mean, condesending, and take back everything she has said to me during our relationship. I in someway feel like I am the cause of this whole thing. She never did anything to hurt me during our relationship and what I did has just built up and this is how it is coming back. It's so hard to think that someone who said that you mean the everything to them could say that she doesn't love you anymore, you weren't right for her, and that nothing will every come of us again. I'm a smart person, who has a great deal of common sense. I've known what to do when she wanted the break, but my feelings overwhelmed me to the point that I had no will power. I'm sure this surge of kindness was coming accross as fake and that I was only doing it to undo my screwup. It's completely understandable, but regardless....everything went from point A to C and somewhere I'm missing B. So, I can only feel that I was the overall cause of it.

Man, I'm going through the same thing. I'm not old enough to have to deal with the a divorcee, but in case it is similar. I just recently made a very long post, you pretty much summed my post up. I want my ex back more then anything, and I read every day hoping for someone to have the miracle answer. As much as everyone is right about what to do, it of course isn't what you want to hear. I feel your pain!!

Hey, I'm pretty much going through the same thing you are, and man is it tough. It's only been a month for me and it's torture. I've thought about finding someone else, but i'm still to hooked on my ex and for me to do that wouldn't be fair to the other girl. If you get a chance I made a big post the yesterday. It all comes down to guy's hormones and they craving girls. Girls have such an upper hand on guys emotions. I wish there was pill to make the feelings go away. I look forward to any replies to your post, good luck

Hi, First off i'd like to thank everyone who posts on this website, whether it be problem or reply, it's been comforting. Ever since my now ex wanted to take a break, roughly a month ago, I found this website and have visited more frequently since. You would think over a month I would have learned something from everyone, but alas I think it would best to just post my problem first hand instead of being a guest. This'll be a long post because I want everyone to have ever piece of relevant information that has gone through my head, and I hope everyone will do me a favor and help me out. This is by far the toughest time of my life as you'll see. My past: Growing up I was a very outgoing little kid. Around the age of eight my parents decided to move back by their families. My family didn't have much money so we rented a farm house out in the middle of nowhere. Over the 2 years we lived here I gained an enormous amount of weight. At age 10 we moved back to where I currently live. Kids were very cruel to me and it pushed me into a shell, and the only people allowed in were my close friends. At age 15 I decided enough was enough and lost weight (5'5", 210 lbs. to 5'8", 120 lbs.) all over a 6 month period. So as you can see it was a drastic weight loss and it almost put me back in the same position as I was being overweight. I eventually got very interested in health and fitness and this changed my life. When I turned 18 and headed off to college girls started to notice me more, but the verbally abused kid was still inside me. I didn't know what to do, I was like a fat kid at a buffet. I have had tons of female friends and girlfriends between age 18 and the present, but this fat kid has never really left and I think it has presented problems in my relationships. I've never really cared if me or a girl broke-up (avg. relationship life span = 4 months), if it happened it happened, but the girlfriend before this recent one broke-up with me was the first one that I semi-cared about even though it lasted maybe five months. Her past (from what I've learned): Her family is decently well off. She from a state nearly 1800 mi. from where I live, but she goes to college here. She is approximately 2 1/2 yrs. younger then I am. Before she met me she was in a relationship for 4 years. She came to school here because her boyfriend was planning to come here, but she got here first. The relationship she had with her ex, according to her, was one where he was very demanding and verbally abusive from time to time but he loved her alot and gave her lots too. He at some point in there relationship wanted a break from her and took it, over this time he messed around with some girl. He eventually wanted her back and she took him back. A couple months later she came to college and he continued to be an butt even from far away. Two monts afterward she decided to end it. About one month after she broke up with him her college friends decided to introduce her to one of their guy friends, so she could "live a little". Well she ended up making out with this guy once or twice. *Keep in mind everything I've said was prior to me knowing her* The Meat and Potatoes (Our Past): About a month after this guy, we'll call him Graham, we met at an extra credit thing for a class. I was interested in her, but she was a friend of one of my ex's. I had hoped that one day i'd run into her and sure enough a week later I did and asked her for her number. Later that night we rented a movie and from there we started talking. She told me her past and using my better judgement from past relationship I knew I liked her and if I wanted it to happen I should just let it go and let someone come before me. Well, me being a guy and the fat kid inside saw cupcakes and wanted at it. So she ended up coming over 3 of the nights of finals week (The week prior to Christmas vacation). The day she had to go to the airport she stopped by and we talked and she said that she liked me but we can't become anything. Well she called me the following day and she told me she had missed her plane and that she went out with her friends, she got drunk, and of course Graham was one of them. From there I wanted to let it go, so I didn't talk to her for a week and then I called her, from that day forward she would call me every night and we'd talk for nearly 5 hrs.+. I began to fall for her, but knew I shouldn't. Well over the break she hung out with her ex and I went out and had fun, but kept it clean because I didn't want her to find out I did anything and become disappointed. The morning she came back I had a girl over (nothing happened, because I didn't want to disappoint), so I kicked her butt out so I could see Amber. She came over and we layed in bed for a long time and she said that she had to go to her place to drop stuff off and that her friends were going home for the weekend and that she was going to hangout with them. We weren't together yet so I wasn't going to say anything. Well Sunday I got a call from her and she was asking what was going on and I asked how her weekend was. She said she got very drunk, I asked where she'd stayed and she said at Graham's. I was pissed but I wasn't going to be the jealous type. Joking around I asked if she gave him head. She said "yes". Now for some reason I find giving head as bad if not worse then sex, so I was like hell no and got off the phone. She called me back and said that she was scared about how much she liked me and that she didn't want to be in a relationship and that messing around would affirm it, but called me up two seconds later and said that she made a mistake and that she was on her way back to fix things. Well since I had a huge weakness for her already I gave in after awhile and we began to spend every second together. This continued through the whole year of our relationship. She became my best friend, she is the only person I have ever been able to spend so much time with and never run out of things to say or want to kill. I met her family and they treated me better then my actual parents. Things couldn't be better. I knew I loved her and I could marry her, but knowing our age and the fat kid inside was screaming "What the hell are you doing?" So I kind of was flakey from time to time about the relationship. The only other few fights consisted of when my parents would get on me about things that I hand no control over and I'd become pissed about their constant complain (Amber being around of course she got some of the steam I left off) her naggin' me about whether or not her sister was hotter then her and i consistently told her no and to stop being so insecure, well one day she asked me and I was tired of it and I was told her "Fine she is, is that what you want". she took it bad and I of course didn't mean it. Other then that everything was perfect. She said I was the one and I made her happy........ Fast Forward...... I fly home with her for Christmas and spent 2 1/2 weeks with her. While she was there she got a boob job, I was impartial to it, I told her no she was fine the way she was but the deicision was hers. Well over this time, my parents were making me come home early beause they wanted me to get a job. So I left with 2 weeks left in the break. Over that time she'd call me about 3 times a day and I'm on anti-depressant medicines and have been off of them and it was causing me to become irratable, so when I was doing stuff and she would call to talk about her friends (girls and guys) I got tired of it and got off the phone. Then came the day I was suppose to pick her up from the airport, she drove her vehicle to my parents house and left it there so we could go to the airport together. Well the day before she told me she wanted us to go back to school so she could hangout with her friends. I explained that it was dumb because her plane comes in at 9 pm and that by time we packed vehicles and got there it would be 12-1 am. She insisted and I said we'll see when you get in. Well her flight was delayed 3 hrs. and on the way to the airport I was already tired and my parents didn't really want me driving so late, so the last thing I hoped she would say when she got off the plane was that she still wanted to go. When I got there we gave each other a big hug and kiss, and the first thing she says is that she still wants to go. I got kind of pissing saying that we should just stay at my parents and get up early and that there really isn't any point to leaving now, but she still persisted so I decided not to talk the rest of the way home from the airport. She commented on that and I said I was tired and that she was going to do whatever she wanted so there was no point. When we arrived at my parents house I was walking inside and she said "oh so that's it, you are not coming?" I told her I was tired and it stupid and that if she needed to leave so badly then to go, which she did. I missed her so much though that 20 min. later I threw everything into my car and hauled butt to school. When I got there I had asked her to come to my place since there was no parking at her, she said to drive around and look so I did, but there still wasnt' any. She said she still wanted to go up and see her friends. I got pissed and drove off. She came over about an hour later. I had cooled off and we talked and laughed and she said that she wanted a break (for a week). That was the first time I got scared, which is weird because I've always been headstrong in relationships, and I broke down. She insisted everything would be ok and that it was to strengthen our relationship. I knew then I should just let the break take its course and not talk to her. Well I spent nearly $200 on things and called her everyonce in awhile to let her know how much I cared, but I wanted to know if she was planning on breaking up. She said no it's a 99% chance that it won't happen. She even wanted me to come spend the night a couple nights. (This all happened at the beggining of the week) Friday rolls around and some of my friends were coming to town to go out. She calls me that night to see what was up and she told me over and over again how much she loves me. Well me and my friends go out and happen to go to the same bar she was at and I didn't even know. She came and found me and gave me a big hug and kiss and said how much she loved me and to have fun. Well the night went on and she told me that Graham was going to show up. I told her that it was fine and i'd try to keep my cool. After a couple of drinks though I begain to think how messed up it was that she was hanging out with him and not me and began to stare him and his friends down. They all got scared and told Amber to go cool me off. I of course didn't mean to do any of this I just couldn't help it, but she reassured me that she loved me. Well 30 min. before the bar is about to close she tells me she needs to talk. We walked outside and she immediately says "This isn't going to work, so we can't be together!". That was it and she left. I immediately went to my car because I knew I was going to cry. I couldn't understand what just happened. I found out the night after that she messed around with Graham, the weekend after she messed around with one of the guys that she "insisted was her friend" and the next week is talking to some other guy. I asked her what happened. She said she didn't love me anymore and that was it. I knew I should have went no contact there, but I was struggling for a chance to revitalize something. She continued to bash me with things that I would never expect to come from her. She even had to audacity to say she screwed this guy she is talking to. I feel like I'm missing something and can't put my finger on it, but no one knows. My Hypothesis: 1. That my insecurities, problems and the way I handled them caused this. (This is the one I believe until I have a reason to think otherwise.) 2. I was a long rebound 3. She didn't know what she wanted from the beginning 4. She's a sexual fiend (which she is), and that she figures if she is with someone then no one will think she is a girl with loose morals 5. She's doing the same thing that she had done to her ex and it's just a cycle. (This one seems obvious, but doesn't make sense, since we're two completely different people.) How do I find this out? Is it even worth it? I do want her back more then anything in the world, for better or worse, regardless of what she has done or will do. I know my insecurities and fear of commitment was my fault and I've told her this! But by then it was already to late and she made up her mind. Please advise away and I will fill in anything I think I missed along the way. I've had to seek professional help for this, but that is also only one person, I have the advantage of hundreds of opinions here.

Hey, if you need any help don't hesitate to e-mail me. When I was 15 I was around 5'5" and weighed around 210 lbs. Now i'm 22 and weigh 190lbs. with about 7% bodyfate. It'll take alot of dedication and you must must must must realize that it'll take roughly 3 mos. to notice a big difference. If it is happening in a much shorter time period you're going about it the unhealthy way. I'd highly recommend joining a gym, but if you are self conscious then what was said in the previous post is good advice. Either way good luck......it can be done!!!!!!