Shyguy24

Hi I am in the biggest dilemma in my life, I am born and brought up in India, but my dad was in the U.S for like 10+ yrs he got educated there and then my grandpa died and he had to come back. Well I have seen more of U.S then India , and have from the beginning been brought up like In western countries. Well currently I finished my law in India and then went to the U.K (where I am currently studying) The problem I face is that I don't relate to anything in India (I know its funny though Ive spent my entire life there but I have never felt at home, Well I want to spend my time in the U.K and basically I don't believe in arranged marriage .(in India people get married in that way , family just decides who you want to marry) The problem I have is that I believe In True Love , but I don't know if ill ever find it , because being in the society in India .. well I don't get to meet to many women because it's a very closed society. ; The limited women I have met, well I just cant relate to them at all …. NOW MY PROBLEM IS THAT I AM STUDYING REALLY HARD TO GET A JOB IN THE U.K BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ALSO WANT TO DATE AND MEET WOMEN AS REAL LIFE PARTNERS HOW CAN I DO BOTH !! BUT I FEEL TOTALLY INCOMPLETE WITHOUT A WOMEN (SHOW WOULD ACTUALLY LOVE ME ) AND I KNOW , IVE JUST HAD ONE GF AND SHE WAS A FOREIGNOR , NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DATE INDIAN women …. I just feel so weird that I cant relate to anything to my own people …I feel totally lost that I think and have a mindset the western culture but live in India …. WHAT DO IDO I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND … I FEEL LIKE A CONFUSED TURKEY OR SOMETHING .. BUT I KNOW I JUST DON'T FIT IN WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO AND U.K WELL ITS BEEN A MIXED BAG , NICE AND BAD WHAT DO I DO !! HOW DO I MEET GOOD PEOPLE I Am a really nice educated intelligent and attractive (well kinda of ) guy but I don't know will girls have a prejudice in dating me that I am a foreigner, AND THIS DOES AFFECT MY Confidence. Thanks all.

Well I f he is talking to you on the phone till late at night, it definitely means he cares about you a lot no one spends time on anyone without a reason or unless he/she cares. If he likes ur kids that's a good sign , my advise give it a little time tell him that you would like top spend more time with him , like a picnic or smthingn with the family so that u know how he feels … give it time ..personally he likes you I can guarantee it how just a feeling Take care ,

Thanks mate , for your encoragement its nice to know someones backin you up thanks man , cheers

Well said MATE I DONT UNDERSTAND WOMEN !!! i ADMIRE THE FACT THAT I AINT ALONE I AM A GREAT GUY AND I FEEL SORRY FOR ALL THE STUPID CREATURES THAT WE CALL WOMEN .. .AND TO THINK I WAS THINKING OF DEDICATING MY LIFE TOWARDS THAT SPECIAL WOMEN !! THEY ARE FROM VENUS MATE AND WE ARE FROM MARS SORRY GIRLS , BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU

Hey Natalia ur more than welcome i wish u all the best take care

so i am to assume she obviously has some interest in me thats why she even bothered smiling .. yes/ or no

Well when I first met her I felt she was almost so shy that it embarrassed her , and the funny part is that I am a pretty shy in the beginning of like meeting people , I would like to talk to her but if she is so shy then how do I do it .. any tips on approaching shy girls I mean I don’t want to offend her but at the same time atleast get to know her. i mean i dont want to look stupid

Well you are old enough .. take the intiative don’t let her feel that you are insecure or smthing ..women want a man not a mouse (this is the general rule not aimed at you) if she feels that she will have to nurse you in this relationship all the time it might turn her off .. so go on and do what I told you or something on similar lines ..very important to be comfortable around people we like and not to get intimidated in any way …so go on mate (hey I am 24 and it took me a while to get comfy around women ) don’t wait that long.. its like anything in life you have to work at it

Well we both are in law school . How do I exactly go for it I mean we are basically strangers

Hmm mate u got to take more interest in her , I know its hard when you are shy but she shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable I believe that is because you are very tense or apprehensive about the whole thing … be comfortable go upto her and say .. what u doin .. can I help ..ure looking real nice ..give her compliments..genuinely tell her ..her hair looks nice or whatever u find attractive about her ..don’t just walk away and feel shes got take the intiative all the time , get hold of her by her arm and say hey its your birthday lets go celebrate ..coffee ..dinner ..on me .. See what I am saying is that be a little aggressive .. if she likes dancing then get hold of her and start dancing with her , be a little daring … its okay because she is a good friend of yours and not a stranger …she will like that ..don’t take no for a answer unless she is very serious ..girls like two things … compliments and being pampered .. So now when you see her on thusday don’t be on a low key go there as if that’s the last date u ever gonna have with a girl.. Put real effort into it ..go with a big smile , crack a few jokes compliment her and pamper her flowers ..chocolates ..u have to try .. before u see the results Just one ques how old are you ? and the girl is how old

You are more than welcome , when you hung out with her on Thursday , when u said u felt distant ..what do you mean ..like she didn’t talk to you like you expected or her reactions were cold or indifferent ..whose idea was it to hangout .. did she call or did you ..

Hey go talk to her go out with her , she may be feeling rejected that you haven’t called or spoken to her , give her credit she made the first move , so she likes you and wants to go out with you get over your shyness and go hangout with her , it will only feel weird if u make it weird , just chill out and hang with her .. don’t make a big deal out of it .. call her right now and be nice

Hi entered my tutorial class, and this girl sitting there who I had never met before just gave me a real big smile , so I smiled back and she smiled again . I ran into her at the entrance of the library she was leaving and I was entering before I could say anything she just looked smiled and walked of like shyly ..i was like totally left standing there. So what does her smile mean and I mean a real big smile … does she like me or find me attractive , I mean ive never seen her before , plus I don’t know anything about her . So what should I make of it , should I actively pursue her (I am very shy but if I know someones interested then I make a effort) I find her really nice thought I am not finicky about looks or anything I am more of a personality person. Like ive been told that I am cute but I don’t think of myself like that as its not a priority with me as far others are concerned. So what should I do ??

First of all I really like your name (totally off topic..lol) its very sexy, I think you are overreacting , you should ask him about it , communication is the key . Good luck

Okay what if 2 years into your relationship she like has another dream..Lol Better make sure that she stops dreaming, I mean relationships are supposed to be based on concrete factors .. Don’t get sucked into this I had a dream thingy because if she leaves u hanging dry tomorrow then you will be the one facing the music ..

Sorry mate she dosent like you , because she knows you like her and want the attention but obviously she dosent give you the time of day as she dose not want to lead you on ! give you false hopes , it happens sorry happened to me Solution is to back off and look for attention somewhere else or you will just keep getting hurt no point in that specially for a person like her , it would be a total waste

She is interested in you ..kiss her fool ..but don’t look for long term relationship unless she wants it (just keep this in mind) sounds to me that she just wants to take things as they come , nuthin wrong with that Good luck

Hey I was a porn addict , but once I went out with my girlfriend I hardly looked at it like it was funny that it stopped appealing to me that much , but with her around I didn’t need it. I guess what I am saying is that I realized that in a funny sort of way that I was ant respecting my girlfriends feelings by looking at porn , and I guess it also came naturally when I could hug and be with another human being I didn’t need porn. I think this is a very serious matter and you should take it very seriously , if it affects you a lot. I mean if my gf went around taking pictures of other guys even for fun , I wouldn’t find it amusing Keep in mind how does this one incident affect your relationship and then talk to him.

She is a good friend , keep her that way you guys are most comfortable that way and maybe a few years later when and if the opportunity comes you can always ask her out . What I am saying is don’t ruin a beautiful friendship , I mean friends are forever and relationships are not simple as that not atleast till a later stage , imean whats the hurry anyway you guys are good friends , let her suggest it if she flirts with you then flirt with her more ..hehehe..have fun ,don’t look for more let her !

Quit the job man , not worth it if it is causing you so much trouble , get rid of it ..its affecting your confidence and that’s going to affect everything else . Good luck 0X

First of all don’t jump to conclusions , but assume the worse she likes someone else and is uptight about it , you like her so you are uptight about it , solution to the problem first of all cool down take a long breath , don’t be nervous but now my friend is the moment of truth .. To go get your girl ..u want her u love her then whats there to worry about …go tell her because if she dosent feel the same it aint going to change . I would do go bye her some flowers or whatever she likes ..go to her place and see her talk to her about how you feel about her and then give her the flowers. Main thing is to keep cool and not make a big deal about it (I know it is but don’t show it) either way ..remember if it happens amazing but if it dosent then it aint the end of your life plus atleast she will know how you feel that’s always better then her not knowing , she might get to like you later . Good luck (but enough talk go talk to her ) go with confidence (my opinion )

Anyone else have a opinion love to hear it , I really want to overcome this sh**ty attitude as fast as possible

If you just browse in this site you would see so many postings like , want my x back and x called or wrote and stuff … facts of life its not easy to let go everything no matter what we get used to a person or a object leaves a impression on our brain . I told you in a earlier post that what crap I went through from my last relationship ..conclusion shes not good for me not my type but would I go out with her again ..yeah I guess sure .. see the thing is that its not so much about her but the situation , we as humans don’t like it if things don’t work out the way we think that they should , so we get more fascinated with the idea of getting another chance in the same situation although more often than not things don’t work out. I mean frankly speaking if I went out with my x today it would not be the same , because there was a reason why we broke up ..different kind of people , anyway comin back to the topic Don’t sacrifice your happiness friends or anything if the other person is not willing to do the same , it wont work I mean you could jump of the cliff but he aint going to follow. I could cry half my life away but it wouldn’t change anything ..because that’s the way it is . What you could do would be to slowly start getting into the habit of making a little less effort everyday , I mean don’t call him that often , control your actions to bare minimum get the pace of the relationship down go back to the basics , see if he calls more or does he make a effort . This will slowly get him out of your system make a effort to decrease your emotional dependency on him ..be strong. Human relationships are very dynamic and not at all logical , they are based on emotions and nuthin logical about emotions .. so if you love someone dosent mean that person loves you , specially if you have doubts . Try involving yourself in other things like do something for others join a charity or something that will increase your selfworth.. see if you are in a valley and he is on the mountain .. you are always going to be looking up at him and he always looking down at you .. relationships are for equals ..first go climb a mountain and see what he see’s Good luck ,hun

Yeah I know admitting that you have a problem is like half way to the solution , I know it’s a problem with me and I am I guess working on it , I am just scared that I guess if I don’t get some positive feed back on the new open mind thingy I might go back into this closed mind shell for a long time , which I don’t want to because I would like to share myself with other people get involved in their lives or them involved in mine , cause I got so much to offer and I need so much too.. maybe joining a charity or something any suggestions(this site has really helped me thanks all)

Okay here is my problem I think , I am a little closed minded when it comes to meeting people , it might be because I am a little shy and also I have got hurt badly in a relationship. Its like when I go out to socialize or even meeting people I tend to have a very hard time keeping a open mind , I tend to make conclusions about people like judge them ..i know this is not good so I make a conscious effort to not to but because I have been hurt or I don’t know why I still end up doing it I am also really harsh on myself , always analyzing my career and my attitude , I feel I am not living life but constantly watching it go by.. How can I change this attitude or whatever it is that has made me like this, and the irony is that I am a gr8 guy when I give somebody a chance to know me …I wish I could stop all this