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Kalika

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Everything posted by Kalika

  1. Kalika
    Let us know what happens!
  2. Kalika
    OK, first off he should have called you by now. He might be waiting for YOU to call him.. So who cares about looking needy? Just call him and say hey, are we still doing something tonight? If he backs out of it, just say okay that's all I needed to know. And hang up.
  3. Kalika
    Did he give a time he'd call?
  4. Kalika
    Yeah I think you should call him and ask if you're still going out
  5. Kalika
    I would just talk to her and ask her quite simply if she's dating anyone else. If she says no, it's fine to ask her if she sees it going towards a full relationship (ie. exclusive). Don't make assumptions about it, because doing so might only create problems down the road.
  6. Kalika
    This is a relatively old thread and I'm not sure why it's back up, but I think there's a major problem when OP would rather give oral sex to get the guy out of there rather than face her mom. Worst case scenario: mom comes home, and guy gets scared and runs away anyways.. Why was she so afraid of having her mother see him there that she was willing to do that just to make him go away (which he would have done anyways)?
  7. Kalika
    Hey TFKate You are very observant and I agree with your take on it.. The only thing is, I already knew at that point that I wouldn't be seeing him (I figured that if I was, it would have been discussed earlier in the convo..) but I wasn't sure if he would be at the bar, or at his friend's house (which is the other place he's usually at if not at the bar). But in general yes, I do hesitate to "squeeze" myself into his plans, especially if they're ones I'm not horribly interested in.. Bars are OK to me once in a while, but I certainly don't want to be there every night, and it seems that if I tell him I want to hang out but I'm not interested in going there, he just goes there anyways, just without me. Tells me a lot. It's not so much wanting him to make the first move as it is wanting him to make plans ahead of time, and I mean SOLID plans. Like he will say, "How about we hang out Wednesday?" then wed. evening comes around and he will call say nonchalantly that he was planning on going out to dinner with me but cant for whatever reason.. and then I find out that he couldn't go to dinner, but went to the bar (or friends' houses) later on in the evening. ....
  8. Kalika
    I have full out conversations with myself.. lol I'll ask myself a question, maybe out loud, and then answer it.. I talk to myself probably more in general than I actually talk to people
  9. Kalika
    Hey Crying Pony - I've decided to break up with him. I'm actually the opposite of needy ... He called last night at 7pm and I didn't even bother picking up or calling him back. I just didn't really want to talk to him.. and I haven't spoken to him since the day before, and even then I only picked up when he called because I figured I'd have to talk to him at SOME point.. As for controlling, no I haven't really done that either.. I'm usually the opposite of controlling (usually I'm too shy to tell someone I'm with what I need from the relationship).. I definitely see this as a warning sign, but not in the sense that he might be playing me or something. I just see it as a sign that we wont ever grow close the way a couple should be. So the next time I talk to him (or soon thereafter) I'll be ending it and giving him his stuff back.
  10. Kalika
    Hun regardless of him, you need to see a counselor. It sounds like you were depressed long before the cheating, and I'm sure this latest isn't helping. Definitely try to find someone to talk to.
  11. Kalika
    Yeah they're a lot of fun... En Esch had a drum machine and made a song about me on the spot. It was pretty nice actually. And he can really shake his {mod edit} on the floor! But that's a whooooole other story. Anyways keep us posted and good luck to you!
  12. Kalika
    As a side note, I noticed your avatar and I wanted to tell you that I once hung out with en esch for 3 hours, and he criticized my shoes. While he was wearing a skirt.
  13. Kalika
    Apparentlynotalone - you should listen to Annie, she's giving you great advice.. I think after enough time has passed he should be sure whether or not he loves you, and if he isn't sure, that means there isn't much stopping him from just leaving you out of the blue. He's told you that he isn't sure he loves you or anyone for that matter.. do you honestly want a guy who "doesn't know what love is"?? I mean personally, finding a guy who knows nothing about love wouldn't be at the top of my list. That being said, you need to love yourself before you can expect him to love you. That means having enough respect for yourself not to do damage to your ability to love. If you stop being able to love or trust people, that's hard to fix. Don't do that to yourself; it isn't worth it. I don't like telling people what they should or shouldn't do, but I really honestly think you should salvage your esteem and your pride and walk away.
  14. Kalika
    If you want to fall out of love, first off you need to break up with him and go NC... Has he flat out said he's not in love with you?
  15. Kalika
    Try to think about it this way: she's with him, and you're free to find someone else that isn't such a jerk. So what if she's engaged? What did she really get away with, and what did her fiance really gain?? You're free!! Go celebrate and don't worry so much about stupid people
  16. Kalika
    I think what deviousone points out is important too: is he including you in their group plans, or not? I didn't get the sense from what you wrote that you dont trust him per se. This seems to be more an issue of respect for you: and if he's not willing to compromise with you, he's out of line. I agree with CC that you have every right to be angry and if in general he doesn't compromise with you, you have a problem that goes way beyond his ex coming to visit. This is also true.. you're teaching him that it's okay for him to do this, cuz you'll still be around whether he compromises with you or not..
  17. Kalika
    Personally I think the concept of The One puts a lot of pressure on people because they feel like if they can't find this mysterious person, they have failed at love or something ... Personally I don't think there is only one right person for me, and I suspect that someone who may be great with me now may not be so lovely 10 or 20 years down the road.
  18. Kalika
    You couldn't PAY me to do that. Not even a billion dollars.
  19. Kalika
    Why not try going to a sex therapist? Just see if he's willing to. It seems that he's not yet at an age where hormonally he should be losing interest in it. He sort of hinted that there may possibly be other issues going on here. Either way, he should be willing to try to please you even if he's not interested in sex per se. Talk to him about going to counseling for this. If he's unwilling, you'll have a better idea of where you stand.
  20. Kalika
    Maybe instead of trying to control everything, you just relax and do what feels right at the time..
  21. Kalika
    Wow.. I really hope there's a damn good explanation for that. If he was blowing you off, I'm sorry.. no one deserves to be treated with such little regard..
  22. Kalika
    Yeah I think me and him are going to have to talk... it'll probably have to be over the phone because who knows when I'll even get a chance to see him.. I'm just feeling not into it any more. Chantal - Thanks for your kind words.. I definitely know what I want and if he's not going to step up to the plate, I can't be with him. I don't want to have to compete with a friggin bar.
  23. Kalika
    You always hear about "The One." Do you all believe in The One? Or does your perfect person change as you do, with age or life experience? There seems to be a lot of emphasis on the One, and I wonder if this makes people's expectations unreasonable (Ie. "he chews with his mouth open, he's not the One"). What do you all think?
  24. Kalika
    If you're looking for a relationship, I'm really not sure this is where you want to be..
  25. Kalika
    Hahahaha Batya I actually laughed out loud when I read that.. Yeah I'm sure that would go over well lol ... that's actually how I feel though.. As as matter of fact, he called me tonight to say that his friend invited him t the bar to watch some sports thing (yeah I don't know anything about sports...) and he said he wasn't sure if he was going or not because he has to work tomorrow.. Maybe I underestimated the amount of time he goes there.. Edit - Yep, he's at the Lodge. Just got a text from him. Yep... not responding..
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