Reluctant Rebuilder

Naw man the attitude that being gay is sinful is laughable. Laughable I tell you. Don't be drawn into a logical debate about this, you can spend years going back and forth with people who will use all kinds of slippery slope arguments, non sequiturs, etc. to confuse the issue and it will get you nowhere. If you believe in God, then you probably believe that God = Love. Love is good. Who you fall in love with is not an evil or sinful thing. It's natural and ok. [rant] And why is it that no one can ever explain why it's evil? Like, I can understand why murder is evil, why theft is evil, but why is homosexuality evil? And why is it that when ever you challenge a homo phobe crack-pot to explain why homosexuality is a bad thing, they always fall back on, "God hates that" or "in Levitcus says blah blah blah" but they can never explain to my satisfaction why it's bad. You are not making a moral choice about what gender you find attractive, it's as natural and benign as preferring cherry coke to diet pepsi or in your case, liking both cherry coke and diet pepsi.

I think you're looking pretty fine. Pretty Damn Fine.

I think your post should be required reading when new users sign up on eNA. I love this, I'm stealing it and adding it to my vocabulary.

Amen to that!

Why's that?

big/small not a big deal, just not flat like a pizza box

A woman who: - is independent: someone who wants me to enhance her life, not fill a void in it - has a clear direction of what they want to do - likes to spoon when we watch movies - likes to spoon when we sleep - likes to give and receive lots of physical contact: massages, foot rubs, that sort of thing - can act silly and be ok with it - doesn't complain when I come home banged up and full of bruises after class and just want to soak in a hot bath for an hour. - likes to dress her man up and can give me good advice when we go shopping for clothes about what looks good and what doesn't - isn't interested in having kids right away (or ever for that matter) - can appreciate that all people have complicated pasts and don't make judgements or broad sweeping generalizations based on what little facts they know. I hate that. - likes to travel to interesting far away places (Amsterdam and possibly China again in 2007 and Machu Pichu in 2008 anyone??) - not too young, if the relationship turns out to be a long term thing I don't want someone who will feel like they've missed out because they were with me - agrees that a $4 coffee is not an excessive price to pay, or can at least tell the difference between an americano and regular drip brew swill - eats healthy food - is slender, fit, and exercises regularly or at least isn't afraid to get a good sweat going once in a while - likes to spend time out doors, hiking, camping, going to the beach - is reasonably comfortable with her body - doesn't have kids - non smoker is a must - has a high sex drive, and isn't shocked or scared to try new things - atheist is a plus - well read is a plus - is witty - cute accent is a double plus - is ready to talk about problems in the relationship right away before they become huge resentments and put me in my place when I'm out of line. Also isn't expecting me to come up with all the solutions, because talk isn't enough - can't be too attached to possessions: I'm a minimalist and spend most of my cash on travelling and life experiences. Leave your empty consumerism at the door. - doesn't watch a lot of TV: likes to go out, even if it's just for a walk that's about all I can think of right now. PM me right away if you know where I can find this woman.

Holy crap I wasn't meaning to sound judgemental! I hope that guy rots for what he did.

I have that one already,but mine is in baby blue

Green tea, shot through the nose all over the keyboard. That was my reaction to the image of me in a gaucho shirt with puffy sleeves. I need a new keyboard now.

Its best to go NC if you are hurting from a breakup and need some time to sort yourself out.

that would get me banned for sure! Plus I have nothing in my wardrobe to compete with that cute little red number you were wearing....

Oh no you are mistaken, that Yummy was for you. Red Queen is yummy too.

I find women that are slim, well dressed but not too princess-y, confidant but not arrogant, and a bit nerdy or athletic to be sexy. Attitude is really appealing too: there's a girl in my kick boxing class that I find so damn hot I have to position myself so that I'm not staring (read: leering) at her through the whole class. And she's not the best looking woman there, but something about how she carries herself really works for me.

Yummy!!!!!

I think that stuff only works in movies. Seriously if someone did that for me I'd see right through it.

Maybe you are stressed out enough about being pregnant that you are getting false positive pregnancy symptoms? Don't they have some kind of pee test where they can tell right away if you are pregnant? Maybe a trip to the drug store will put your mind at ease. And uh... maybe condoms next time?

You would hear *no* complaint from me

I hope so too. Too many women I've been with are so ashamed of their slim bodies, and I'm thinking "you're beautiful", but they have these ideas in their heads that a woman has to look like Jolene Blalock in order to be hot. Not so.

Deleting his IM account would be a good step toward your independence and you can always write his number down on a piece of paper and burn it or something symbolic like that. Someone mentioned here in another thread to write it down contact info that you want to delete on a piece of paper then give that to a friend with strict instructions not to return it unless it's a true emergency. Not sure how well that works, myself I deleted my ex out of my life as best I could. It was really one of the hardest things I could have done, but it had to be done. As for the frustration you are talking about, I'm having similar difficulties. NC is very hard, but I see it as the lesser of two painful choices. Live with myself now alone with the potential of being happy again someday versus being shackled to someone's memory. Maybe in a moment of clarity, write down the reasons you two didn't work out, then look at them every time you feel the urge to text or call him. I did that and it works sometimes. Other times I just white knuckle it, complain to friends about how rough I have it, or spend the night lurking here. And lets them tears roll! It's part of the recovery. You're not supposed to feel good about this, but it will get better.

Yum. You look good girl!