aving21
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Everything posted by aving21
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ok havent posted in here forever...but ill go over teh whole ordeal again and then the current state in which im confused Long story short went out for 3 1/2 years she wanetd time on her own but we still hooked up for 2 months then i cut it off and went NC.. So i go a good month without hearing from her and she starts randomaly once a week or so texting me with nonsense i dont answer or pick up my phone ever.. Month ago she sends me a text that she thinks shes going crazy i tell her "itll be ok" but dont get all that into it Ever since shes been texting more and more frequently but i just dont know hwo to look into it. Im over it not completely 100% over it but im doing good. but she told me she misses me and wants to see me but is afraid shell lead me on. I told her id rather just not see her and avoid the possibility of getting hurt.. But last week she again said id like to see you maybe we can go to this concert and i just dont know what to do.. Should i go and just expect nothing to happen or is that impossible..Or for my own sake should i just say no and cut her off until her feeling and what she wants are 100% concrete. thanks =/
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wasnt drunk at all we met in the line. and we got out big giant X's on our hands i hate that...but the point is every time in the last 3 weeks i would make the move then when i asked her about it she would say "oh because you kissed me and i wanted to make you happy" now this time she made the moves but im still gonna NC it.
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so i go to a club tonight and guess who goes too.her so i see her she comes over to me and we dance, dance closer things lead to another she makes a move on me and we end up making out. I take her home she grabs my hand in the car and falls asleep on my shoulder. for the first time she initiated everything and afterward i didnt overlook the whole situation and am still gonna stick to the no call. is that being an a-hole or just saving myself. Felt liek a first date kind of like i was meeting this random girl but it was her. o well =/
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So shes called about 3 times a night without leaving a message. /feel like answering every time but if she doesnt give me a conrete reason for calling then whats the point. Should i answer sooner or later? or just keep it up.
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So i finnaly get the guts to go talk to her and really take a liking to her(odd choice of words) so i add her on myspace and find out she has a son shes a year older than me and we share the same birthday. Now i dont care about the situation but if i get involved what should i expect? what should i do to ask her out? i like her but i dont wanna push things fast on some oen with this life. But i dont mind the kid thing. Any advice on what to do
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I see its the thing to do. Unless she leaves a concrete message of what she wants when she calls i wont answer or call her back. it just hurts.
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plus she says this isnt about moving on this is about how she needs time on her own to figure out what she really wants. And the other day she breaks down about how she doesnt appreciate me and hopes she will? i just dont get it.
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Thats how it was about two weeks ago. I would help her but when she was fine she wouldnt even call me. until i started distancing myself she would cling to me and say she loved me. She sees some girl and questions it. Tells me she wished she was sure. Its hard because the more i distance myself the harder she pushes for me. So its like she wants me there but when i say hey lets work it out she says " not now" its like every time the possibility of losing me goes through ehr head she goes out of her way to get me back then after that shell just stay the same. How can i get through to her that she WILL lose me if she descides we arent worth it now. How do i do that while still being there? Should me being there for her be part of what shes missing. Like id be tehre for her if i was hers but if im not shell go crazy its so hard.
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Im basically goign through this except it isnt really a "grass is greener phase" its a selfish phase where she needs time to get herself together before she can move on with or without me. But yet she still clings to me liek we are still together. I can tell this when i distance myself or talk to some one online she finds out some how and clings back. I dont understand why people would take a chance though if she came back to me i dont even know now if i would be so eager to jump right into things. So yah some times couples need "time apart" to figure out how much they miss. But if one person takes the time off from what ive experienced its pretty much a stab in the heart and the other isnt too happy when she comes back. some times it takes being away from some one to really notice what you had. but taking a risk like that is harsh on the other.
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Im still there for her for w/e shes going through im just not gicing in to her. She still wants me there but doesnt want to commit but the second i am distant she clings back. Its like shes keeping me there so when shes done hating herself we can just start back where we left off. Thats nto the case every day im growing further and further from her. As for strict Nc i cant do that. If she goes through something hard im right there if she wants to go out i dotn care as long as she innitiaites it and cant use the excuse of just doing it for me. she told me other night she doesnt want to lose me and i said well you might if you keep this up. So she wants to get back together down the road and just string me through her phase. Thats a bunch of BS to me. Maybe shell realize it before its too late and i just go see some one else. But until then im not gonna kick her to the curb she means too much to me to let her suffer through her problems alone.
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little background. she breaks up with me but wants me still there we go through a time where everything is normal but when iq uestion us she says i dont know. We hook up alot and its ok but i get fed and tell her look you cant do this and i only want you to call me if you need me then im here but im not gonna call,text anything because you need to innitiate it. Because prior to that we would go out hook up and i asked her why she would say " well you wanted to and i just wanted to make you happy" so its fone at that. We go through 3 or so days and shes online and says she had a mental break down how she doesnt appreciate anything and more. 2 days later(last night) she calls me 3 times i dont answer. She calls my cousin and tells him to tell em to pick up my durn phone. So i do She calls and im liek why did you call she says " wanna see how you are" i say well im fine dont do that then she says all quick i just wanna talk. i say fine whats up and she explains her day and gets into sex for some reason and i just stay distant and talk. THEN she says oh i was looking at your myspace whos this girl??????( she doesnt even have myspace but shell go on her friends to check up on mine) im like oh some girl i met who im talking to. Then from then on she starts talking all cute and lovey ...so after an hour or so im like look if you need me im here ima go to bed shes like I LOVE YOU mwuah mwuah and i hang up. i dont understand she keeps me there because she doesnt wanna lose me. But every time ive questioned us she freaks but now she sees some girl and calls me 4 times??? why is she trying to keep me hers. She said she needed time ti figure out this "bad person shes become" and i said fine. i just dont understand why every time i pull away she clings to me and acts all lovey. help =(
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ok an update i dont call,text her for 2 days and last night she calls i ignore calls i gnore ignore calls 2 more time then calls my cousin telling to tell me to pick my phone up. So im like ok w/e she calls and is like hey . And i say whyd u call and she says oh just wanna see how you are. And im like uh ok im fine but why you calling ME to see you i am told you not to. Shes like i just wanna talk. And talks cute the whole time and talks some what dirty halfway through and after an hour or so i just say look why did you call. She says i just wanted to talk. Well i said ok well call me if you need me ok? shes like your goign to sleep now? i say yah good night she says good night blows a kiss and i hang up. i dont understand this why would she call me 5 times just to see how i was. and then talk all cute liek nothing at all was going on between us. This is whats shes been doing last few weeks talking the part acting the part but when i question our status she crys and says she doesnt want to work it out. i just dont get it.
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I go online last night and she breaks down saying shes going crazy and becoming an f'd up person who doesnt realize how good every one treats her and doesnt know why. i talked to her for a good hour about it and she said she needed to call me again. And she paused me and told me how much she loves me. but i didnt cling i said i know you love me but you have to figure out what you want on your own.i said ill be there for you but only call if you need me because i wont be. Through a crisis like this where one loses sight of everything. What would come out of the end of this. id hope shed see everything ive done for her and remember that and reach out to me. But i also hope she finds that beautiful girl i came to know rather than this bad person she sees in her self. How do i help her and show her im there while still protecting myself? i thought id only talk to her or see her if she wanted to and never suggest anything. And if she just wanted to talk id keep it short and sweet. So i could heal. but in her saying she realized who shes pushing away and then saying she loves me so much is that a hope i can cling on to. or should i continue on and only taqlk to her when she comes to me. im confused about this whole thing and no one has helped me so far =(
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Goign through the same thing.We break up then start seeing each other and everything felt back to normal. Then she said she still doesnt know if she wants to work things out and be alone. She couldnt give me a straight yes or no. Do you find yourself looking into every thing she does//says as a hint she wants back in it? i do. So im going nc with her for awhile to face it like its over. I know it hurts but try to face it likes its over. If she comes back it will be your choice. i see a confusion in a girl as both sides. She doesnt wanna lose you but doesnt knwo for sure if she wants you. Leaver her to this and try to move on. Ive been on this for 2 days now myself and i just wanna go on like we have but it hurts. If she cant give you a solid answer then stay away and let her make up her mind. Nothing you can do say will have an impact on her choice this is about her now. not you. Honestly i think my ex will come back due to how we were when we are together but i find myself not in love with her. So keep this in mind. just remember an "i dont know" doesnt mean yes but it also doesnt mean no. But for your hearts sake treat it as a no.
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just need help
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IVe gone a month without cutting//burning and it feels so good. The most i had went before was 2 weeks in the last 2 years. Just thought id share it gonna strive for 2 months!
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didnt call didnt expect her to. Find myself not even looking at my phone. My basic question is this. I love her but i hate that fact that it would take time away to realize how much i mean to her. If she ever came back it feels like this is too much of a dagger and it would never be the same. But again why would you cuddle kiss talk cute call when your scared hold hands rest on my shoulder say i love you and make love to me, And not want us.
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So we keep doing this see each other thing and we always hook up alot. and then the next day she wont kiss me then ends up and etc...But it just drained me so much. It was like we were still together but she wouldnt admit it. We would be cute over the phone and stuff..But today she wouldnt hold my hand at church and i just flipped out.. I told her she doesnt appreciate me and i deserve a girl who knows she wants me. She kept saying she was sorry and didnt know our future so i said fine. You dont know how much i do for you and how good you have it so im done with this crap. After a long talk about how ill be fine and what shell miss i dropped her off at work while she was crying. I told her i loved her and i new she was making a mistae and the only time id make love to her again was if we were 100% So this is basically the second time ive told her this but i came out much stronger and just plain out said i was done waiting on a girl who wants to have the best of both world. Will she miss me and want me back? prob i oculd see it in her eyes. But she cant do this to me any more i find myself looking into every word she says and every tone and its just tearing me apart. So now im just going on and if she realizes what shes missing i hope its before i dont give a crap any more. But how do i stay strong. I wanna call her and text her and she said she was gonna call tonight after i said all this. Do i just shut her out and not answer? i love her so much but it hurts so bad going on like this. I just wanna be with some one who can make me feel special as well. i wish it was her but it seems like she has to figure out that on her own. And i cant wait for her forever. But how can you make love talk cute hold hands call when your scared say i love you. But no be confused? she just wants both worlds and i thought that would work but it just hurts. I asked her to just tell me if she was done for good and she said she couldnt say that she cant give me a straight yes or no . But im just gonna take it as a no. my heart hurts so bad because i know we can still have that physical side. But i need the love as well. What do i do. And if she keeps calling and if she realizes whats shes lost what do i do then =(
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im just such a chicken. im very intimidated by a girl i find good looking. but she seemed like she wanted me to come over and say hi...ill just stop by tomorrow and see if shes there =)
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Ok so i go with my mother to help her pick up a printer from circuit city. and when i walk in i see a very pretty girl at the counter. who then looks up and smiles i walk around a bit and we sort of stare at each other alot. But being the wuss i am when my mom goes to check out i go off in some corner to avoid her..i then grab the cart by her and she smiles at me and winks...nowfor 2 days shes all i can think about i wanna go back and get her number or something..even though im still in this w/e "untitles" relationship i just wanna talk to this girl. question is how would i approach her? just walk in fake buying something and ask her for her numbeR? i was thinking maybe going at closing again and seeing if she wanted to do something after.what could i do. i wanna ask her but i dont wanna seem like a stalker =/
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can any one give advice
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It was all out of confusion then she told me to do it And i couldnt resist. She said she wanted it that way and for me to do it and she didnt care about the risk and i was too caught up in the moment to even have a brain. If she had a kid i would support it no matter what. My dad took off when i was 3 and the pain that i went through sent me into a depression so no matter what the circumstances i will always be there for my kids if i ever have one. As for the pulling away thats what im doing. Every time i say ok well bye she clings all of a sudden. Like last night i called her right before i went out and said ok well talk to you tomorrow and shes like WAIT talk to me for 5 more minutes. i said i was leaving and she had to knwo every detail about what i do. Its liek every time we have a moment she pulls away right after and every time i pull away. She wants another moment. But i man up to my mistakes in life i would raise i kid alone if i had to because imo. Fathers who bail on their kids can mess up the kids life like it did to me.
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Ok so me and my gf spent a day together just to hang out and basically fell back in love. We spent the day together originally planned for an hour but ended up all day. Started off akward then we kissed and talked for a long time and cuddled made love a few times and visited our high school. She then said I missed you and you have me 100%. We had a really nice time rest of the day being cute and holding hands and what not. But i never asked OH so are we officialy back together, because i didnt wanna get into that kind of thing. So i tale her home and i go home just focusing on myself and hwo things will work. She calls the next day still all cute and we plan on going out again. But tonight i call her and she says that we shouldnt see each other so much because it woulldnt solve anything. And im fine with that 100% because i have actually felt so good these last few weeks without the pressure. But my question is this. do i take this as back together??? or do i still treat it as "untitled" as we were before. She said i love you im hers 100% and stuff but i never dove in for "are we gf bf" because i didnt wanna complicate things for MYSELF. So should i just lay lwo on her and see her now and then or just act like were 100% together. Im also worried though we had sex without a condom and she wa son her period a week and a half ago is that a major risk? =( Every time its like this. She doesnt want to see me because she thinks she will be confused but then we have a great time and are so happy. Then few days later she backs away because she starts feeling into it again. Im tired of the curve baals she shows she wants me why the hell wont she just accept it. In person she talks about getting married and 2 days later about how we shouldnt see alot of each other because it will complicate things?? Honestly i love her but this kind of behavior is just pushing me away. Should i just tell her to pick either or?
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I read this and it kind of made me confused. IfI could just choose to be happy i would have a long time ago. Depression is a disease not an emotion. It eats away at everything that makes you happy including will. It makes you not want to be happy. Its a constant battle every day and now i just get used to it.
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Posted before and the situation has grown kind of complicated. We descided to not have an official title and whatever happens when were together will just happen. We arent ready to commit to some one but she says she still talks to guys but feels like shell never like any one. She is acting out getting drunk at partys and doing * * * * just to act out. Im basically trying to figure out myself but the complications always leave me guessing. So basically we meet som etime we hook up some times we dont. She is my closest friend and has pulled me through alot and same for her. But i dont know what to do. I dont know if im like this that shell ever want a relationship and actualy i dont think id see her more than a FWB even though we have no "title" We are supposed to go on spring break together for 4 days all alone. I just dont knwo how to take this feels like were still together but i never have the 100% that i can kiss her and that makes me want her so much!!! What do i do. She is my love but shes also the one person who i can tell anything and picks me up when im down. Do i stay like this. Or do i vanish for awhile to heal on my own so things dont complicate any chances we have in the future.