sibling295

you know this is making more and more sense to me!!! I must say!! So a big )))))HUG(((((( to everyone. I guess i feel kind of clouded , or in a fog. Perhaps, i am harboring some resentment to the fact he dumped me and broke my heart. maybe you guys are right!!!! I for some reason cant see beyond my cloud. All i hear in my head is" why cant i go out with other men , i mean i am single , he dumped me" btw- i do believe he wants to get back for all the right reasons. and yes , i lied about sat night , but again - cloud in my head here folks! I am not sure about how he would react if i told him i was going on a date. we have talked about me dating other men during this break up - and he was always very hurt , but i have been honest with him , by saying , I am not sure now. Lets see how we feel as time continues... hmmmm..... It is not my intention to hurt anyone (ie other guy) I plan on being honest that my ex wanted to get back together. He already knows we recently broke up. In fact i already told him , i was not looking for another relationship right now. Just no strings attached fun. i have soo much more to say - i need time to think .......

yes - i can see that it would make sense that if i was really commited to makeing the relationship work , i wouldnt be going out with another guy. i see what everyone is saying.... hmmmmmm............ i need to think about this .........

of course - if there is a man in my life - i do want it to be him!

Hope - I am not sure where i wrote that he "owe's me more work in this relationship" I dont feel that way at all??? I dont believe i ever said that. Maybe i should think more before i just type!!!! I am working on this relationship. I am giving it 100% - He mentioned that he would agree on seeing a therapist (like a couple therapist) This is something i had asked us to do before we broke up. He has allot of commitment issues. Actually , I mean , we BOTH have issues we need to work on! I think what i mean more by me still going out is that I have a renewed sense of independence. I like who I am . In fact i have fallen in love with myself. I would go that far to say. And well , if he doesnt see that i am the woman for him , well i know that i wont lie over and die. I know that i will always be okay. I really want this to work out between us , but i wont pine over every word or every action he says or takes. I pine over like me now? Is this what makes me sound angry ? Cause i feel it makes me like - how do i say - have power over my life. I am no longer worried about him , i am finally asking myself what will make me happy? That doesnt mean i dont love him , or i am resentfull , I am very happy that we are working things out - But there is more to my life than a man??? does this make sense?

tiredman - ahh yes i see what you mean: But you were giving him ultimatums when he said he wanted to be friends and then lets see what happens. You said either be together or don't. Now YOU want what he was asking for before, once he wanted to be again with you. Yes , i see this makes sense - But you see he said to me that he wanted to forget the whole break up happened . And thats when i said "No way, here It DID happen" So thats when i decided to not get back together , I dont want to go back to the same relationship. i want things better - and tsince i have realized that I donot control him , I can only control myself - I must keep breathing and learning and living with my eyes open. I am in NO WAY SHAQPE OR FORM, leading him on. I am for the first time , honest 100% with him. I am acting , maybe not writing it correctly so you cant see , but i am acting like an adult.

Well , i know i said lets take it slow - but i honestly dont see a problem with sleeping with him. I mean , my feelings on sex with him are that we do have a physical connection and , well it just plain feels good. And the last thing i want is a pregnancy or a std- you must understand i am the biggest preacher of SAFE sex to all my friends!!! I probably wont sleep with this other guy Sat night , in fact i probably wont even like him enough to hang out all night with him , but i am not going to not see him. I am single afterall and this is the dating game. To see if we are compatible with people- yah know? I really hope i dont sound angry - I mean i feel confident and proud . 8)

Tired man , perhaps i sounded angry in my post ,but honestly i am not angry at all!! I feel very positive and happy!!!there is no anger... I feel in control , i feel like i will get what i want . Now if its with him , i dont know? thats why i refused to jump back in the relationship so quick , maybe my happiness is with another man? I dont know??? Yah know , but this time apart made me realize that i could go on with out him. And that is not an anger thing , its a positive thing.

So I guess i am back to this forum!!!! Anyway - not sure if anyone reads but this is mainly for me to get it out. Last month and a half we have been broken up - i did a 360 on him and said see yah - then proceeded to go out and meet guys and date (even slept with another man) and have fun. He continued contact but i ignored him. Until the day before yesterday this happened: I am hungry , no food , so off to the grocery store . As i am driving , i SEE my ex - i quickly turn into the parking lot and run inside. And when i walk out there he is waiting at my car. Ex: Why are you ignoring me? Me: Unless you want to get back together , i dont want to be your friend. Ex: I know you are dating and going out again, I've heard all about it Me: So , its my life - you dumped me, remember??? Ex; But i still love you , i want us to be friends maybe in the future more , i dont want you seeing other guys- I feel like i made the biggest mistake in my life - i am depressed - i hate myself - i got scared thats all Me: this is all wonderful but unless you want to get back together - i dont care. now he is crying Ex: i am soooo confused and depressed , i just felt so much pressure - please lets just start talking again. Please- ( trying to hug me) Me: calm down - calm down we are in public - i will call you tomorrow - i need some time to think about this. He actually called me yesterday afternoon . He said "Let me take you to dinner - anywhere you want - so we can talk. It was a VERY nice evening - basically he said he wants to be bf/gf again - he is depressed - he made a mistake - he's very sorry - he wants to forget the whole break up even happened. Thats where , from this forum thank you!, I stopped the conversation. I said "well , it did happen , you did get scared, you DID dump me , and i dont want to forget it. So I said" Lets take this SLOW - i dont want to get back together - I want to see if we were really meant to be - i want to see changes in our behaviour - etc...... Now this guy is shocked , here people , this guy thought i was gonna beg forever for him. He is flipped out that i said "see yah" soooo abruptly. And that i was out dating , going to clubs/bars again. He told me he thought i would wait forever for him. I told him even last night "NO WAY Anyway , he asked me to hang out with his family this weekend , i said i had plans on Sat night with my girlfriends. This shocked him too , because for 17 months i was his puppy. Friends? I had no girlfriends , i gave them up to spend every waking hour with him. Thats over with - I tell you its so much better to be an individual . (sorry spelling) I feel really good and now i feel like i have control of the relationship. Not control over him , like equal control - does this make any sense? I also never would have known i could be so strong. When he left my place this morning , we hugged and kissed for a long time - he kept saying "I love you - i never want to lose you again" and i said "i dont want to lose myself either!!" and i meant it. So another day goes - and my only expectations are for myself to stay strong. Btw- i met a guy at a Halloween party and we have plans on SAt for a date. Since i refused to get back together w/ my ex , until i felt that it was a healthy environment for me to be in , i dont see a problem still going. I mean , i also learned being single this time around , is thats what dating is all about. I dont mean i am gonna sleep with the guyb , but i am gonna see if i have a connection with him. And , honestly my ex can do the same. I mean he dumped me because he got scared , i dont want to be married then one day he does it again and then we are divorced. I dont know - i am confused now. Oh well that just means i amthinking too much about this . Moving on......... thanks sib

twinkle - are you still working as an escort now? are you supporting yourself in another job? I ask because - well at least for me - my job is allot of my self esteem. I am proud of what i do for a living - but it wasnt always that way. I think you need to build on feeling good about yourself. Start living the proper life you dream of . He will see this - he will see you are proud . He will come back - they always do.

jesus - can you somehow get into his place and friggin take the computer or something????? Maybe tell the police that the computer is your and go in and get it !!!

okay so a "one nighter away to get messed up? right" well first of all , i think you should read this book called "a million little pieces " by James Frey - please overlook that Oprah read it . Really its all about drug addiction and "the fury inside a junkie" anyway - so do you want a normal relationship with this girl? Then Joe - its all very simple . Treat her as you would a best friend that you care deeply about. If you feel that you dont know how to because you have never had a "normal" friendship or love - then think hard. Think really hard - how would you want to be treated if you were normal. Respect her - make her feel comfortable - make her laugh but Joe - yah know she is very very young. I am not sure you should be physical with her at all. She is a minor!!! in otherwords you could go to jail , man!!!!

"link removed" oh jesus Joe!!!!!!!! alright - when are you going on this outing with your friends/this girl.

hey catlover - funny same thing happened to me last night!!! READ of course , he's back" in DATING forum what are you gonna do?

what the heck is salvia???

crazyjoe - please listen - i mean really pay attention to Miss M's posts to you! and please DO NOT LET THIS YOUNG GIRL DO ANY DRUGS please crazyjoe - be the guy who changes her life in a positive way - please please please Stand up for her - if anyone pressures her tell them to "**** off" please crazyjoe - be the guy who changes her life in a positive way and keep us updated. sib

hey pav - I think we need to hear about your coherts too!!!!!

yes - annie is right - he's the reason i found enotalone - basically i wanted to get engaged/married and he freaked out then dumped me. after about 2 weeks of me BEGGING , i said see yah later so i changed everything - i started going out - thinking i was "the perfect woman - and some one else will be lucky to have me" and honestly it feels good to be positive , i stopped counting like NC days - stopped myself from thinking we would ever get back together and well now here i am . I thought about it all night and i think i am just going to continue my life as i have been. Except i am not going to do the ignore phone calls thing - i will remain honest and up front with waht i want from him. Just like i am with the other guys i have and will meet. i am still going out with Halloween guy this Sat night!

Okay all my enotalone friends can you believe this one: First of all , I had a great day - the guy i met on Halloween called again tonight - we talked for about 20 mins. made plans for this Sat night. I am hungry , no food , so off to the grocery store . As i am driving , i SEE my ex - i quickly turn into the parking lot and run inside. And when i walk out there he is waiting at my car. Ex: Why are you ignoring me? Me: Unless you want to get back together , i dont want to be your friend. Ex: I know you are dating and going out again, I've heard all about it Me: So , its my life - you dumped me, remember??? Ex; But i still love you , i want us to be friends maybe in the future more , i dont want you seeing other guys- I feel like i made the biggest mistake in my life - i am depressed - i hate myself - i got scared thats all Me: this is all wonderful but unless you want to get back together - i dont care. now he is crying Ex: i am soooo confused and depressed , i just felt so much pressure - please lets just start talking again. Please- ( trying to hug me) Me: calm down - calm down we are in public - i will call you tomorrow - i need some time to think about this. So we hug and kiss on the cheek and now i am home. Geez what should i do ? BTW- I really amattracted to this guy i met Sat - lets call him "the director" i want to go out with him. I still will - no matter what. Any advice? I cant believe this.

james - No one moves on overnight. Take it step by step - what helped me was looking in the mirror and saying" I am way to great to have this guy bring me down" Its all about thinking positive Cmon man - I want you to start thinking better about yourself. YOU DONT NEED HER!!!

James - come over to the dating forum now - time to start thinking positive and get this girl out of your system!!!! Start a new thread - okay!!!!! all about the new single you. Give me a shout out!

Noggy - check out all of diggitydog - fctex- pavppz1 posts - (not just from this thread) these guys know what they are saying - and honey 33yearold girl is right "I dont EVER text anything of great importance to a guy" EVER LET THIS BE CLEAR!!!!! You will be alright man .

I agree - who knows this may be your best medicine - dont worry so much about if she wants more - Hang out , have fun - this is the singles scene man , be honest - its all about regaining confidence.

Hey guys - Whats going on out there???? FCTex what are some updates man !!!!!

HAHAHAHA!!!! So Boy i met Sat that i like must have called this afternoon. Said just wondering what you were doing tonight for Halloween .I just got home its 9:20 - not calling himback. Ex called too - left a message left 10 mins later saying " I dont want you out meeting other guys - I am just confused right now - why are you ignoring me -i still am in love with you - i am never gonna meet another woman who loves me as much as you and i know that - i feel like i just made the biggest mistake of my life -i am just confused - haha not calling him back either .... Going to a girlfriends get together tonight - she said "lots of potientals here get over here now!" and i am on my way....... Check in later! Sib

First of all _ I love the word ADORE. Why cant i find a guy who use's that word!!!! LOL- maybe i should start using it. Anyway - I think as long as her parents are okay with it - its fine. But please she is a MINOR - that means also have a relationship with her mom and dad. Good Luck and have fun ....