sibling295
-
Posts
217 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by sibling295
-
Thanks Lady Bug and Hope . Just took a bath -put on my pj's and gonna wallow my sorrows in hot chocolate Tomorrow i am gonna remain positive. And get focused. My girlfriends have offered their couches and bottles of wine , but i feel good at home alone right now. Maybe a large pizza is in order. As i typed this he just called , he left no message. please keep me focused my friends!!
-
Hi ocrob. The thing is - he said he NEVER see's himself getting married. Not to me not to anyone. NEVER. NO KIDS EVER.DOESNT WANT THEM. I do want a family. I want a house together - a family together. I asked him where he saw himself in 3 to five years.He told me yesterday" Right here where i am .In this condo . Doing the same thing i am today" There was no future with me , none. What was i to do? Yes he was loyal , commited , wonderful to my family. But i want to get married. Plain fact is he doesnt. EVER. oh well , here comes the panic attacks.
-
yes he is in his 40's.
-
Thanks guys . He called my cell phone - tricked the caller id - i answered he said there is something wrong with your home phone.I said There is nothing wrong i took it off the hook. he said why i said because we just broke up , i was crying and you yawned. he said we are not broken up i said yes we are , its over he said i will call you later , when you feelbetter i said dont ever call me again , its over i hung up now to tell my family.
-
So basically we just broke up. He said " I am not ready for marriage.You are. You want this relationship to go from 50mph to 100mph.And i am not. I see that you are unhappy. I dont want to break up.Why cant we just love each other and laugh. " I said , the problemis that you dont EVER see marriage in your future. And i want it. This is not gonna work out." I started crying.. we were on the phone.... he YAWNED!!!! HE YAWNED!!!! I said are you yawning right now?I am crying , we are breaking up and you are yawning??? He started laughing , i hung up. Took the phone off the hook. I dont even know what to tell my family. This is the worst.
-
Oh thats exactly what i have been feeling - doing. on one hand , i feel that perhaps maybe something is missing inside of me. And thats why i am so desperate to want to get married. On the other hand i feel that there isnt anything missing and i just want the American dream - a family. Its all sooo confusing - but i do get what you are saying. Scout - i do agree the book "B**ches " is first of all a horrible name - and second - its really for a snippy gal. But it is perfect for me . My b/f and i lets say live in a VERY ego-driven lifestyle, environment , family. We both are in the same industry. Different jobs , but we both think we are God's. I am not gonna say more - just that. Regarding meeting the one who you wont have to act - i do believe this too. Another reason why i am sooo confused!!! Hope- oh the book rocks. It basically says to stop thinking about what makes him happy and ONLY think about yourself.I will go into it more later... BUT - after only two days of changing my thinking process - it has made little but big changes. This morning when he called , i said hello. he said" Hi MOMMY" I said its not your mom , its me Sib. He said i know who i called " Hi Mommy" Now , i know that may sound weird to you all - but this was coming from a man who exclaimed that he was too old to have any kids- yah know. I just think he is softening up alittle. Going from i will never be a dad - to calling me mommy. there have been other things too - just dont have time to go into it. I am going out tonight - must get ready. Talk to you all later- SIB.
-
Oh my , so i ran to a book store today at Lunch. I bought the book. I am only on page 11 - IT IS AWESOME!!!! I love it!
-
So true , Hope , thanks ...
-
Two Years Maximum!!!
-
Does he want to move in together or what??
sibling295 replied to piegirl's topic in Relationship Advice
LOL! Yes , how about when your boyfriends best friend proposes to his girlfriend in front of you at a new years eve party!! Piegirl , whatever you do - dont be like me and bring it up DAILEY!!!! I had already told my b/f that there was NO living together. So that is out of the realm . I know its frustrating , my b/f has no kids , never even wanted any but he is SOOO awesome with my niece.( I take care of her for my sister, long story) My b/f has become a new man with this relationship - he knows it , he tells me all the time. But the legal commitment issue is another story. Give your b/f some time . 8 months is not that long. Put his house key on your key chain and just keep quite. For now. Or until you cant take it. But if marriage is not what you want - then i dont see a problem in your relationship. I mean you guys sound great. When he mentions , you cant live me or marry me - just say " HAH! You should be so lucky!"and go about your merry way. Sib -
God- i know i bring it up WAY to often. I am trying to stop , do you think i should just drop it , like my original plan till June - when it will be past two years together and that is MY LIMIT.? thanks in advance.
-
Hi There Enotaloner's! Thank you soo much for everyone's advice. I really appreciate it. But see this is what happens , and then i get confused. Like last night , i had a late meeting , i amsupposed to pick up my niece from school. I call our mom , but she is sick , she cant do it. I call my b/f , i know he has a hectic shoot going on , but i say , could you please pick up Zoe. He says , of course , but i will have to take her back to the set with me. So , he leaves work , goes and gets her. When i got home aroound 8:30 last night. She had already done her homework , eaten dinner , showered and was ready for bed. He is soooo awesome , its moments like this that i am like WOW. This morning when he left for the set , he says his usuall , i love you but today he hugged me really tight and was just like "I love you Sib , i know we will figure things out." So my confusion is this- Do i leave a wonderful man , who i know loves me or do i stay in this relationship - throwing dreams of marriage out the window?? Oh and i forgot an important thing he said this morning was " Sib , we are already married in my mind. We are committed, loyal and best friends. Dont worry about a piece of paper" Whats everyone's take on that ???? Like i said , i am happy , He does treat me like a princess- i mean he fullfills my basic needs of what i want from a man , just not legal. UGHHHH!!!!!! Hope everyone has a great day! Sib
-
Should I put up with this? Would you?
sibling295 replied to KellyWyndham's topic in Relationship Advice
Kelly, I dont want to sound rude , so please dont take this the wrong way.BUT Is that your pic ? Your are considered a minor. Please dont post pics of yourself , you never know what some freak could do. Also , as far as the sex/BJ's go - STOP doing them! You are 16 years old , still so young !!! Please enjoy life , you dont owe him a blow job everytime you see him. I would stop calling him alltogether. Only respond casually when he CALLS YOU. You will see how much he cares about you then. And BTW- A blow job is a treat - not a necessity. ( When you are older!) Please dont take this age thing wrong. I am just concerned for your safety! I am an overprotective aunt, okay! -
Thats right raykay!! Its still a great day. I am going to keep on keeping on. I know its baby steps. We both agreed to take some time to think. I am just trying to think about myself though. Besides those early morning phone calls !! UGHHHH.. Off to work - long day HUgs Sib
-
This is pretty funny! One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
-
So , he just called on his drive to work. I cant remember how it was brought up again , but he said " You keep wanting to change my mind about marriage " UGHHH this is not what i wanted. I dont want tokeep talking about it. So I stopped the conversation, i said "You have misunderstood my intent" Honestly i dont want to talk ANY man into marrying me. When he called it was early in the morning , i wish i had note cards or something to remind me to stay completely aloof about this!!! So another bad start to a brand new day. Good thing , i was with my girlfriends last night, they really helped me think about things regarding my issue with my family and our breaking up for good. Sib
-
Thanks Hope , I keep hearing about that book, i have to read it. Thanks for the compliment on me thinking about myself - it helps! I am going out with my girlfriend tonight. Nope not waiting to see if he calls me tonight , nope ,not me LOL!!!! I keep thinking about him saying basically how happy he would be if i found a man who would marry me. He said a couple days ago"I would think to myself , well she found her happiness" So I said "um yah that means you would let me go rather than marry me?" He kept tripping on his words like well thats not entirely what i mean. God , i dont know who is more pathetic here. Anyway - So life continues forward. Thank god for my treadmill!!!!!
-
Can anyone recomend some books on my situation?
-
Hi guys, One thing i want to point out - I dont know where the confusion has been - it has NOT been seven years - it is coming on to two years. Including the break up three months ago - that lasted about a month and a half. I couldnt imagine SEVEN YEARS with him at my age with out getting married. Anyway - last night , i told him that since our relationship will not end in marriage it basically is going to end soon. I told him i no longer was going to be coming over every night , things have to change. I told him i needed to start thinking with my head and not my heart.I also explained how scared i am to do this - but that i was going to stick with it. He asked how long are you gonna stay with me? I said i wasnt sure , i love you , i am confused but i deserve to be happy too. He was definetly in shock. At first he said I was crazy. He said " its coming up on our two year anniversary, I said I know , after two years you should know. He asked about my family - they are VERY close. This is gonna be sooo hard on them. Oh god , thats what hurts allot. I left this morning , actually very cheery. I am tired of being pissed off at him for not marrying me. He said when can i see you again , i said not sure , I will call you later. He also said "why prolong this? Why not break up now." I said maybe thats a better idea" He said "No , please , lets both think about this" There was no crying , it was all pretty mature - except for the fact that I am still in denial! LOL I will continue to need support , please keep my updated on everyone's thoughts. I helps , i swear. It keeps my chin up and me thinking positive. Thank you all for your ears and eyes! I dont know if he was serious about thinking about it. I asked him ,"Does this mean you are gonna give it some thought?" He said "YES" but not sure if that is just a lie to keep me around. Whatever - got to think about me right now - not him. I know allot of you think i should just end it completely , but i can't. I am taking baby steps . I am proud of these baby steps, at least. So onward - thanks Sib
-
ocd - you are such a great guy- it will all happen for you!!!!!! hugs sib
-
I hear what you all are saying. I guess i am just not prepaired to give up , just yet. I need to keep building up my confidence. Keep working on myself a bit. When i do leave him , i just want to make sure i am making the right decision. I have never give him an ultimatum. I never said , lets get married or i am out of here. All i have ever said was i wouldnt move in with him without a ring and a date. You guys are right i am probably just hopeing he will change his mind. God this is soooo hard. Well , my chin is up and my eyes are open. I guess its a start. hugs to all sib
-
also -i have found writing these thoughts out and getting advice REALLY REALLY helps.I dont know how else to explain it - except it kind of clears the fog. So thanks All who read !
-
Hi itsok , Nope nothing yet. Two of our friends are leaving town next week , tonight is his buddies party - i told him to go w/out me (its all his bachelor friends) and have fun. Tomorrow night is our couples friends going away party so we have plans to go. Tonight i drove to my mom's house , we watched Million Dollar Baby -my god , i thought it was about a friggin boxer who wins in the end.But no, it was soooo depressing!!! Geez . I dont know my plans exactly - i spoke to my girlfriend who said , you guys just got back together , try to go at least a month before bringing up marriage Sib. Anyway - i am feeling like i am regaining the power over my life and my choices. I do love him and i hope he turns out to be the one. We shall see. Also - i like the feeling when i remind myself , its me who decides my fate. If he isnt up to it , then another man will be. It feel exciting again. One day i will be married , and one day i will have my own family. Hope its him , but if not i know i will be okay. sib
-
True Hope ,very true. You make perfect sense. And to answer your question. He is not the right one for me. Not the right one , because of one reason , marriage. wait , maybe two reasons , kids so - here i am in love with not the one. Maybe six months is too long - maybe i will come to my conclusion much more sooner...I dont know.. But - I do know that i have to see , am i in love with this man or am i in love with my fantasy marriage I still want to give it my six months MAXIMUM.. By June the (war) will be over. For Sure . And i more than willing to accept possible death. The only good thing is i wont really die , a whole new world will be in front of me. Whould any of you guys tell the guy - or keep it to yourself. I am not really giving HIM an ultimatium. So how would you phrase it?
-
oh Dont worry kellbell , hey if none of us ever felt hurt or sad , we would never know true bliss!!! Also - relationshipcoach once said to another poster this: "Hope is something we hold onto until we realize we are holding someone else." God , dont you love that , i swear i love that quote!!!!