gullible_soul

A friend and I were having an argument about something during health class... and our teacher didn't even know the answer to it. (Can you believe that?) Can someone get pregnant through anal sex? I believe they can, my friend says no. What's true? Thanks, and this is a super awkward question....

actually, my boyfriend left me quite a few notes around the house before he left, including one on his computer, so it's obvious that he wouldn't be annoyed if i did the same. that's your opinion; just because my boyfriend and i are in love doesn't mean we don't have a life other than the one we share... he went on vacation WITHOUT me for a month, and i take classes during the summer WITHOUT him for 7 weeks... i'm also going on a separate vacation from him for a week... and even if we weren't, we'd love to spend every day we could together. so maybe just becuase you've been scared away by some psycho woman doesn't mean i will scare my boyfriend away. i don't know why everytime i get on here, someone posts a really ignorant message, and i still come back for advice. it's ridiculous.

hey... my boyfriend left the country for a vacation two weeks ago... he'll be back in arout 15 days and i'm pretty much going nuts without him... but i'm dealing. two weeks will be here before i know it (yayayayayayay!) and i want to do something special for him since we only get to talk for 2 minutes once a week... i was thinking that i would either 1.) surprise him the morning after he gets home.. like, get up really early and make my way to his house, and surprise him with an early wake up kiss... or 2.) stay the night at his house and have him find me sleeping on the couch (or his bed or whatever) when he comes home.... i also was going to leave a few notes around.. one in his dresser that says "i missed you" one on his computer saying "check under your pillow" and there'll be another note that says "i love you. call me." or something like that. what do you think? getting in the house isn't a problem because i was given my own key and i was told that i could even spend the night a few nights if i wanted. do you have any more suggestions? i would love to hear what you all think i could do. thanks gullible_soul

i missed your post before, and he didn't see it... basically he said it was the pregnancy thing. a friend of mine just came up to me friday, pulled me to the hall and said "would you help me if i told you i was pregnant?" and of course, i said yes, but i also mentioned that it's an unacceptable issue. i know i'm kind of hypocritical, but in my school there are a lot of pregnancies (hell, there's even girls who are TRYING to get pregnant!) my boyfriend and i have discussed it.. and mainly he said that he has to learn to control himself when i'm around ( lol cause i'm so attractive) and he doesn't want to make any mistakes.. and as for the condom thing: he loses his libido in the time it takes to get the condom out and on and as for other birth control methods: he doesn't want me using the 3 month shot (Depo) because it stops my period and we are eventually planning on having children, nor the pill because he doesn't trust modern medicine (and i kind of agree). so, we agreed that we won't have sex often. and that when he starts to get excited, we'd decide if it was the right time or not so I can get the condom ready. jeez. thanks. gullible_soul

Thanks, everyone, for all of the replies. I talked to him. I showed him this thread. And he said: "It's not that I don't want to have sex... it's just that I get horny, and when I do, I want to make her that way, too.. but then I think about it and I think "What if someone walks in?" (we usually go to his house and people are always in and out, w/o knocking) and I don't want her to think that I'm just using her for sex." And there was other stuff, too, but basically, it was a misunderstanding. And although he said we wouldn't do anything on his birthday, we actually furthered our relations. So, yeah... Awkward now. I felt like an @$$. I still feel like an @$$. But thanks, for all the concerns. gullible_soul

my boyfriend and i have been going out for 6 months (yay us!) and we started having sex a little before 4 months. we were really into it, at first. everytime i came over we would go right upstairs.. but at first, we weren't protected, and we were careless (although we didn't use condoms, he pulled out before he finished, so we were sure that i couldn't be pregnant), and i got a bit scared cause my period was 2 days late that month. do you know the thoughts that can seep in our minds in 48 hours?! thank god, it was a false alarm, so we were relieved. but we decided that we would slow down a bit because we were being careless, but we wouldn't stop, you know? so we got condoms (we can get them free at school) and we didn't stop too much, but a bit. well, recently, we've stopped completely. about 2 weeks ago i was over at his house, and i was horny, so i was trying to throw hints at him, and he got them, but he was like "oh, you know we're not doing it today, right?" and that made me feel like crap. it's like he wasn't saying that he didn't think it was a good idea, as if we would make the decision together, it was him laying down the law and that was it. and before i could say anything, he was like "we're not doing it at all this week." and then cut me off with "or on my birthday.. i know it's monday, which is next week, so i didn't want you using that as a loophole." i told him that it made me feel like crap, but he just said that he was sorry and he just doesn't want to make a mistake. i understand all that.. but what i hate is how hypocritical that is. i love him, i really do. and i wanted to have sex with him. but i feel like becuase we had sex, he feels guilty or something. it makes me feel really unloved.. or useless or used or.. something. i can't explain it. it's just that when we first started having sex, if he was horny, we'd have sex, but now, if i'm horny, we're not going to do it. and i really hate it when he teases. we'll just be sitting on the couch, watching tv or something, and he'll come out of nowhere, just putting his hand near my area, or moaning in my ear or something.. and then when i start to get excited, he goes "oh, you know we're not doing it, right?" and he gets so offended when i get upset for him doing that... and sometimes, he'll continue the tease further than that. we'll get as far as almost penetration when i'm practically digging my nails in him to come closer when he gets off the bed and puts his pants on. it's SUPER sexually frustrating when he does that. i feel like i'm being really difficult to get along with. so, guys, what do you think? and girls, you, too. the biggest problem i have now is that tomorrow is his birthday, and i'm going to forget about all of this until the next day because i don't want to ruin his birthday. thanks EDIT: ugh! and something else i just thought of... it's really hard to tell him stuff like this becuase he's got an answer for EVERYTHING! it's so frustrating. ugh but i love the idiot so much, which makes it so much more complicated.

Hey, Brittany, I'm going through the same thing. I cry almost every night before/after my boyfriend calls me because I fear that he's planning on breaking up with me/talking to his ex/cheating on me/etc... I tell him about my thoughts and he feels guilty because of it. I love him so much and I don't want to do that to him. So I have to work on my insecurities. And I think I can do it. And you know what? If I can, you sure as hell can because I'm a difficult girl in those situations. Good luck. And don't worry so much.. you said it yourself: He's never given you a reason to distrust him. (I should really take my own advice...)

Wow, you don't know how much you just helped my self-esteem with what you said there. I'm constantly feeling insecure about myself because I think "Oh, god, does my boyfriend notice that I gained 2 pounds this week?" And what you said up there contradicts what I think because, hell, he doesn't notice obvious things, like if I'm wearing glasses or not. Thanks so much!!

I think you're definitely normal. And like others have said before: super lucky, as is your husband. I feel that way about my boyfriend.. he finds other women attractive (I think that could be a man thing, though, ) but when I look at him, I get a feeling that I really don't get with anyone else. Must be love!

I guess I'm the oddball. My boyfriend has the normal amount of hair on his body... ...according to the rest of the people in his family. Other people, however, would disagree. But I love his hair. If he does something wrong, all I have to do is pull it! I, personally, find it attractive, and I think that it would be more unattractive if he shaved it. That's just me. gullible_soul

My boyfriend is a real joker.. he likes to mess around a lot, and sometimes he does stuff just to get a rise out of me.. but some things he does are just plain mean. For instance, yesterday, we were sitting at lunch, and one of my friends sat down with her Fitness magazine. Well, that's great, you know? She's thin and she's looking to become more fit and healthy.. so I ask to take a look at the magazine, and my boyfriend takes it. He flips through it, making little noises when he sees the girls in their bikinis and whatnot... It hurts. I don't feel attractive as it is, and it makes me feel worse when he does that. And I let him know that. But then he gets really quiet, and doesn't act like himself, which makes me feel really guilty about telling him to not do that anymore. He tells me that I should know he's joking, but... has anyone heard the phrase "Sarcasm keeps you from telling people how you really feel?" It's like he's telling me "Oh, I wish you looked like that!" and if I agree, then good, but if I get offended, he can just take it back like it was a joke. So, what's going on? Am I overreacting or am I being completely rational? I just don't want to change him because I feel so guilty to admit this. Thanks. EDIT: I was thinking that, if he did it again after he knows I don't like it, I could grab GQ magazine and start flipping through it, doing the same thing, and if he gets offended, I could just say "Oh, so now you know how it feels?"

Chewiepop, I know exactly how you feel! I'm 16, and my boyfriend is about to be 17, and I'm in a constant state of jealousy because he's been 100% honest with me... although we've only been together for 5 months, we're very serious, and he tells me every day how much he loves me and how he can't live without me and he'll never leave me.. ...but he's admitted that he used to watch porn a lot before we met, and that he hasn't watched it since (and also drinking), and although that's really assuring to me that he cares for me, I still get doubtful when I sit in class around all the really pretty, really thin girls at school. I hate when I catch him watching videos like Rompe (Daddy Yankee) and Se Vale To-To(Calle 13) because the women in those videos are so sexy, dancing really suggestively with almost no clothes on. He used to have a thing for this girl... she was in his classes last year, and is in 3 of his this year (and one of mine) and during that whole class, all I can think about is how much more attractive and beautiful she is than me. Let me tell you: If you trust him 100%, then you wouldn't be jealous. Jealousy is the doubt that he loves you, and being jealous (or showing jealousy) just shows him that you're doubting his love. Although I'm still jealous a lot (low self-esteem; what can I say?), I know that I love him and that he loves me. I try to not mention it because it bothers him, but it's still there. Chewiepop, a little jealousy once in a while is normal, but when you get the feeling that you're becomnig too jealous, just tell yourself "Hey, self! I'm beautiful, he loves me, I love him, and that's all that matters. If he didn't think I was sexy, he wouldn't be with me!" After all, you must be jealous because he's very attractive, and if he was so attractive, he could just have any girl that he wants.. so why would he be with you? (I should take my own advice ) Good luck and take care!

Thank you so much. You really don't understand the impact that your post has made on me; It's important to me that you replied. That line meant the most. I called him and he told me that same thing, but he said it in his own original way. Look after today and let tomorrow look after itself. I will definitely try to incorporate this into my daily thoughts. I've been trying super hard to be positive, but it's hard for me. Thank you. Kearston

I don't even know what. My boyfriend and I have been together for five months. I love him so so so so so so so much, and I know that he loves me, too, but I can't help but think negatively when we're apart (and sometimes when we're together). Like.. will our differences come between us? Are we really right for each other? Am I being used? Am I blindsided because some guy is telling me how beautiful I am? And mostly, I always think about how one day he'll wake up and realize how stupid he's been for even considering me as a companion. We've been serious about each other since we first started going out, and I guess that we might have moved too fast, but we're very serious about wanting to be together for a long time. My biggest problem is crying; He NEVER cries. He told me that once, when he was a kid, he cried, but he must have cried all of his t ears because since then, he's only cried once-- and it was the first time that I cried (when we were on the phone). Me, though, I cry all the time. I'm crying as I write this. I don't know why.. he keeps saying that he's not good enough for me because he's not making me happy, but he is! It's just that I can't stop crying. He's the type of person who thinks a person can control themselves with just a thought; If he was a smoker, and wanted to quit, he'd tell himself "I don't need the cigarette" and he wouldn't be addicted anymore. Everything has a simple solution to him. But I'm not that simple. And I constantly apoligize for crying, but I truly, honest to God, cannot stop crying. It's just something that comes over me... the mere thought that tomorrow he could drop me like a bad habit kills me inside. I'm going to see my doctor on the 3rd, but if my legal guardians knew that I was going to talk to her about depression, they'd tell me that I was crazy, how it's all in my head, and i'm full of bullsh*t. Thanks for listening, and I appreciate anything that anyone has to say. gullible_soul

yea, but not so much if you get caught LMAO we almost did, too. damn cousins...

lol. i was at his place, too, but it was during the day. and the whole first floor (we were in the basement) was filled with his family. we were super horny, but nervous incase a family member came strolling down the steps lol

I don't know if I can explain it. We were laying on our sides, facing each other, on a futon/couch (we were trying to be inconspicuous, so incase anyone came into the basement, it would just look like we were cuddling) and we had sex..

I had sex with my b/f today, and it was the first time I had an orgasm while we were having sex. Well, he had to finger me, but you know, it's all good, cause at least we climaxed together. We were laying kinda funny, too, and he got a lot more sensations and they were really strong. We we're laying sideways (like, if we were spooning, only facing each other) and he wasn't all the way in. Somehow that created a better feeling? Hey, guys, is there anything specific that heightens your sensations that your partner can do?

I'm sorry, but I have to say it. Small boobs are a blessing! I'm 16, and I'm not the most fit person (I'm not fat, but I could do with a couple lost pounds) and my boobs are a DD cup. It's extremely irritating to go to the store to buy bras, and most definitely embarrassing to do sports and other physical activities in public. I decided not to join the track team again this year because last year, my boobs slowed me down; I had to hold them down with one arm or they would flop all over the place. Everyone's insecure about something. I feel like my boobs are WAY too big (but my boyfriend argues otherwise) and my calves are too muscle-y. I agree with the previous posters who said: Accept yourself as you are and love yourself, regardless of what you have/don't have! I'd like to add that I think the most attractive (and healthiest) size is a size 9. One of my girlfriends is a size 9 (I'm a 13) and I think she's perfect!

Nah, I never tried it. Just the thought of it makes me want to squirm, but I love my boyfriend, and I guess I'm willing to try anything once. I told him, though, definitely no anal. When I refused to give/get oral at first, he kept telling me that there had to be a reason. I don't know, it's just awkward.

I'm the same way.. I feel terrible because my boyfriend wants us to both orgasm at the same time, but it's difficult if penetration doesn't do it for me. Oral sex isn't my thing (but my boyfriend is trying to convince me to at least give it a try), but he seems to enjoy sex more when I'm on top. He goes in deeper, I guess. He's trying really hard to convince me into getting/giving oral, but I just think it would be awkward. I wouldn't mind trying doggie style, but first I'd have to make sure my b/f knew it won't be anal.

Thanks! It's weird because a lot of people have said that... Well, that's really good.. I hope if I have a daughter that she and I are close.. I always sort of imagine a Lorelei/Rory type of relationship from the Gilmore Girls, but then again, that's television.

As a matter of fact, I do know plenty of half-Latin, half-White boys... The area I live in is largely Latino, so I'm surrounded by "mixes." That's another thing... my mom tells me that she'd be happier if I was with a nice Irish or Italian boy... WHERE would she like me to find one? I live in Philly, and 70% of the population at school is Latino, and the rest is Black (if I even considered a black boy I'd get a huge lecture), and I'm completely happy with my Latin boyfriend. I just don't understand why she can't be supportive. I mean, her mom never supported her in anything, and I'm sure she promised herself that she would raise her children different from her mother did with her, but apparently not.

That's not at all what I meant. I've already had a discussion with her that I won't repeat her mistakes, but that's not what she meant. I was her first child, and she planned me when she was 19. The mistake she meant was ending up with a guy that disrespected her in so many ways... this guy is completely opposite from every guy she has ever dated. I understand where you're all coming from, I really do, but there's just something inside of me that's telling me I'm going to be with this guy. And trust me, I know how naive this sounds. The race part really is my mom's problem-- she said that inter-racial relationships never work out, and it's got nothing to do with him personally, because she has never met him. I know no one's perfect, but he's imperfectly perfect for me. He's respecful, funny, attractive, and treats me the way I want to be treated. We communicate about everything and have yet to be in a real "fight" even though we've had a couple minor problems, and we've been together 2nd longest among our friends (most of my friends break up and go out with another-- I have a few friends who sleep around, too), the first having been going out for 1 year and a half. I know the issue with condoms, and because I don't plan on having sex with anyone else, it's not too big of an issue because my boyfriend and I communicate about that. Thanks for all of your advice. gullible_soul

Thanks... I plan on writing out a short letter, and first giving it to her, and then we can get into the conversation. I didn't think about it until she called back, but she had me when she was 19. She told me that she made a big mistake, and she called back just now to let me know that I wasn't that mistake. I asked her when she lost her virginity, and she said 16. If you ask me, that's pretty hypocritical, but whatever. If I call her a hypocrit, she'll just get pissed, so I'll be nice. Thanks, gullible_soul EDIT: In the letter, I was thinking of including a little something from my friends and teachers, and his family. They see us together all the time and I think some positive feedback from them may convince my mom that he's not a jerk and I'm not stupid.