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UGH1607307217

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Everything posted by UGH1607307217

  1. UGH1607307217
    TOTALLY NEW FORUM for me, but I just had to come here and clear my head. I dont know where to actually begin because Im sure its all related, but I am just having a really sad day (the saddest in almost 3 months, hence my previous posts...). Anyway, yesterday would have been my daughters 11th birthday, she passed away when she was six months old. Throughout the years its been easier to get through that day, even yesterday I was ok. Well...yeah I was good, I drank a bottle of wine and enjoyed a Friday night alone . Im sure this is all just a combination of the day, my (not so recent anymore) break up and the heartbreak that went with it and now being alone...I know Ill be ok tomorrow (or Monday ), but I just needed to talk. Thanx! UGH!
  2. UGH1607307217
    Hi there, All I can say about NC is that it helped me regain my sanity after my breakup, I didnt do NC to win him back, or hope that he would miss me, I did it to heal. I was in a situation that I couldnt do NC for probably 7-8 months after the breakup and it was KILLING me on a daily basis. I have finally had about 2 months of NC (at least 98%), and I have felt so good. I think for most of us here we attempt NC to heal, whether it has worked to bring people back together...youll just have to wait and see what other responses you receive to your post. Have a great day! UGH!
  3. UGH1607307217
    LOL, Thanks Nebbish...when I first started posting it seemed so appropriate !
  4. UGH1607307217
    Hi Lost, Im sorry youre going through this, yes nine months isnt all that long after ten years. I will also ask the question...does he know why you are acting this way and that its not him? If so, is he understanding and willing to help you get through this? Hang in there and communicate with him, I wish you luck in getting through this and keep us posted. Have a great day!
  5. UGH1607307217
    I think once you get your foot in the door dating again, we should go there...(I had to delete the "too much info" portion of my last post )but since we both are new to this "dating" thing, we could probably exchange some pretty funny stories. Hope youre having a great day! \ =D> \ Im so proud of all of us that have loved and lost and are on our way to finding ourselves again!
  6. UGH1607307217
    Hey Eva! Im so proud of us! The last thing on my mind is the ex...its so funny, because to even think of him now...brings NO emotion! Geez, not in the way it used to! WOO HOO! Keep me posted on how you are doing...have you talked to your new friend since he left town for work? Paula
  7. UGH1607307217
    Hi there Im 5'6", I know not really short, but I like my men to be tall, at least 5'10" or taller. I dont know, it kind of gives me a sense of security.
  8. UGH1607307217
    Yes, this dating this is very confusing, I havent had to do this for over five years and 10 months after my break up Im starting to chat with guys, etc. So I cant offer you any advice, but I wanted to say that you are not the only one out there. I was happy to see that someone around my age is going through this new experience (at least its new to me). Ive read the posts in the dating forums and it seems like all the posts I could find were from younger people (teens and early 20's). I dont know what goes through a guys mind, I had a date set up with someone I met online, He was from Belgium, gorgeous, an accent to die for and he initiated contact with me, well we made a date to meet at a beautiful restaurant...and he stood me up . So I just say, maybe he flaked and forget (the guy you are/were seeing) or maybe he wasnt having the same feelings for you. Either way, dont let it get you down...sure its confusing and its hard to meet someone new and try to start some sort of a relationship...but I guess we have to take the good with the bad and just remember that there are a lot of other guys out there. Dont know if that helped, but we can always swap horrible date stories in the future! Have a great day!
  9. UGH1607307217
    Hey cal, here is your post... I personally would rather kiss a guy with soft moist lips than dry cracked lips.
  10. UGH1607307217
    Im going to agree with everyone, sleeping with an ex that doesnt want to be with you in any other way is no fun. My ex and I had been broken up about eight months, and we were shaky friends at best (he was still with the woman he had cheated on me with) but he was in the process of breaking up with her and we went out to a concert, had a good time and ended up sleeping together. Kind of as a joke we had said maybe if we have sex it would take his mind off of her, well the very next day he was here posting about being heartbroken over her and another funny thing...we got matched up on a dating site that very next day also. Anyway, its kind of funny because I really havent seen him since that night two months ago and Ive been much better because of it. I know my advice probably wasnt that helpful, but you need to not let yourself be put in a situation that is going to hurt and confuse you. Hope some of this helped. Have a great day!
  11. UGH1607307217
    OK, I read your other post. Im gonna be blunt but polite, someday you will look back at this situation and realize that it was all "high school BS", you are too young to be stressing over a guy, live your life, date more than one guy...BUT BE SMART (ya know, safe sex if you do, dont let anyone use you etc.) enjoy being a teenage girl and think about your future. Thats just my advice to you, Im twice your age and Im not saying that to offend you, but even at age 33 and going through my own break up, Im still dealing with "high school BS" I hope my words of wisdom helped. Have a great day!
  12. UGH1607307217
    I agree! Good for you, this is the only post of yours Ive read but I wanted to say Good Job! Now take that $100 and go have some retail therapy!
  13. UGH1607307217
    Hey FIIsion and overtheedge, Both of your stories are like mine as well, I dont know why exs feel they have to act the way they do, Mine was really crappy to me even before I moved out of the house...(feel free to find my posts of you like) But ever since I have adhered to a strict NC with him, my life has been great! It took eight months of him wanting to stay friends and me fighting against it but it finally happened and for two months now, I am a new person. Bottom line is...it will get better when you are ready to let it get better, dont try and figure out what they are thinking or what their actions mean, its too tiring and ya know what? I got sick and tired of being sick and tired from worrying about all of the whats and whys (I already knew the who ) So just hang in there, dont let her play with your mind, and heal yourself. Have a great day!
  14. UGH1607307217
    Hi michou, Why cant you be both? To have any sort of romantic relationship, there also has to be a friendship...
  15. UGH1607307217
    Hi Eva, Im glad you stayed positive in the last 24 hrs. I know it was hard for you, but you did it! I know what you mean about not even wanting to see him, I really have no desire to see my ex. He still will call once in a while with a question about the dogs and I see his number and think "Ugh, what?" *annoyed* its no longer "OH! Its him, and is he going to ask me to come home today?" *hopeful*...ya know? I do still feel sad sometimes myself about my breakup too, but now its only for a few minutes maybe twice a week, the sadness is not consuming me 24/7 anymore and I think thats ok. But dont cry anymore, I think if we continue to cry over these men, we wont have any tears for the joyful times we are going to have in the future and Im doing pretty good today, thx 4 askin! Have a great day! Paula
  16. UGH1607307217
    We dont think you are a drain!
  17. UGH1607307217
    Hi Michael, and Right On! Muneca, Hey there, I cant speak from experience in the situation, but it does sound like just that...shes torn. Like I said and you agreed, you already knew. You know that in the end, due to her situation, this trip, well...you know. Youve been so strong through all of this, and I think you are gonna be just fine real soon. Go take your vacation and clean your mind. Think about the future and all it has to offer you, so many new experiences and new people that you are going to meet along the way. You are always going to hold a place in your heart for her, just like I will always have that place for my ex...but its time to lock up that door and open up the next one. Im doing so much better than before and I know its all easier said than done, but Michael, you know in your heart that you need to move on...I think you are at a point that you are really ready to start healing, awake in the morning with a smile on your face and say "I can do this!" Because I know you can...If I could do it, I know you can do it. Im here if you need to talk. Enjoy your vaca... Paula
  18. UGH1607307217
    Hi hun Im here! I think you did the right thing telling him you werent meeting him. I dont understand how they can be so cold and think that we are still hanging on to them...whether we are or not, its not fair to think "oh, she wont deny seeing me..." Who do they think we are? We tell them..."this is it, NO MORE" and they think that a week later we have changed our minds and everything is ok again, that we have forgotten what weve said? NO we havent and everything is not ok all over again. Good for you! So you shed a few tears, he deserved no more than that, and really not even that and you know it, it was just a natural reaction to cry. Dont beat yourself up, Im seeing you getting better again just over the past ten or so days so keep it up! when is he leaving? how long is he staying in town? you need to keep busy until he is gone and you know it. go pamper yourself a little, go see a movie, go shopping...retail therapy always helped me Im here if you need to talk. Have a great night! Paula
  19. UGH1607307217
    Is there not any form of financial aid (grants, etc.) In New Zealand? Just curious, I don't know how the educational system works there. Remember, get your mind and body right and the rest will follow...slow down on the beer and eat your veggies! ;o)
  20. UGH1607307217
    Hey Burnz, Im sorry youve had a bad year, but its only a year... I read your previous post, and it seems to me that the "loopy girlfriend" was a big part of that year. What happened to getting your teaching degree? Why not persue that again? It almost seems to me that she brought you down a bit, you had to sell your possesions to support yourselves, she didnt get out of bed for days, complaining about her "stressful" life. That certainly had to affect you. Is there any way you can get on a more regular schedule at work? It sounds like you could use some rest for both your mind and body. I think that would be the first step in moving forward with your life and goals. Maybe if you could get on a regular schedule with work and rest you can think about what it is that you want to do with yourself...and then knowing what kind of hours you are working every week you can better schedule a life. You certainly shouldnt think of yourself as a "reject burnout", you just got a little off track and you need a little guidance to find your way back. If you need to talk, send me a message Hang in there and have a good night!
  21. UGH1607307217
    Hey there, you are having very understandable feelings. Ive been single for about 10 months now, after a 5+yr relationship, I have had two dates, the first...I thought I was going to puke before I went LOL, just kidding, but I was a mess. I was much bettter for the 2nd one, different guy, and I got stood up. But just so you know, for me the first date ever after my breakup was the hardest, I say go...there is no rule that says you ever have to go out with him alone again, it seems like this guy might hang with your friends and you may see him again after the date if things dont click romantically, but one date doesnt have to lead to anything and if you cant think of a reason (he smells, hes psycho, has a tail...whatever) to not go out with him, then GO, enjoy the attention! UGH!
  22. UGH1607307217
    Ill check out the other forum, thanks, maybe we should move there... Yeah, Im ok, Ive been in a bit of a funk the past couple of days, nothing a couple of sick days from work hasnt helped , I really dont see my ex anymore (actually I dont think Ive seen him since April 1), but he has been IM'ing me a lot more lately. He sent a weird question the other night "r u happy?", I just sent back "why do you ask?" Dont know what that was all about, but I certainly didnt read anything into it either. He said he was just curious, but I also have to wonder if he was "fishing" for some kind of reaction from me, doesnt matter either way. Ill check out the posts in the ex's section... Have a great day! Paula
  23. UGH1607307217
    Maybe thats what all three of us need!
  24. UGH1607307217
    Hey Michael, Im sorry youre hurting today, be strong, it seems like you already know that this could truly be the end with her leaving on her trip. You just have to have that mindset, and just remember all of the good things, dont throw your memories away, but continue to move on. I understand about your sons and how this must affect them (at least for me it was dogs, not kids) Maybe you can take this time that she is away and while you are on vacation to revitalize yourself, try and give yourself a new attitude about this relationship. Dont take steps forward only to fall behind again... Have a blast on your vacation, PM me if you need to, Im always here to listen and offer any advice I can. And just remember...me, you and Eva...ROAD TRIP! Take care hun, Paula
  25. UGH1607307217
    Hi guys, I just needed to vent this morning just to make myself feel better. I feel worse today than yesterday...ugh! I guess it was the fact of coming back to work and having to tell everyone about being stood up after I was soooooo excited about this date. I guess I could've made something up but that's just not me. Have a nice day everyone! Paula
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