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fIIsion

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About fIIsion

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  • Birthday 03/15/1973

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  1. Than you for your feedback and to all those who have read my post and replied. I agree with pretty much of what you have said. I'm I desperate to have friends? Luckily I've got good, non-violent people around me. I'm actually very selective of people I deem as friends. I appreciate that what I've written it terrible, and it is. There is no excusing M's behaviour and his underlying violent temper. I would add that he is a much more layered person than the sociopath I've described him as (maybe I'm just realising that he is a sociopath?) and for the best part of 30 years we have had a very fulfi
  2. I've got my Sister however she is still suffering from depression and her daughter is going through early puberty so didn't want to add to her problems. I'm doing ok. I've got various appointments coming up and i'm moving around and managing my pain.
  3. Very sad to read this however I understand your choice to take your life in a healthier direction. I guess this is still very raw for me and im don't feel right in myself with the pills I'm taking (especially the opiates).
  4. Thank you for your feedback (and everyone else that has replied). Your post resonated with me as I think about the last thirty years ,I have made excuses for his behaviour. I never really thought of him as a psychopath or a sociopath however I guess he does match some of the behaviours of either. Its very difficult to fully explain his character and/or our relationship simply in words where an outsider can just pick up on the very negative aspects as described. I don't think of myself as a stupid person and I'm very selective about the types of people I associate with. Maybe i have been n
  5. It hurts to read this, probably because its true........
  6. I live far away from where my friend lives. I choose to leave on my own accord after I felt uncomfortable trying to put the incident behind me. I have a spinal issue that causes me extreme pain and I'm currently managing the pain through strong pain killers. I'm unable to do any physio treatment until I manage my pain symptoms. The plan is to decrease the dosage of my pain killers as I heal. Its very difficult to throw away the last 30 years. Its literally like never seeing your brother and sister again.
  7. Believe me I don't want to gloss over anything and I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour. I wanted to give context to this incident. We wouldn't have been friends for over three decades if I simply regarded him as dangerous and off. I also have to consider that I'm going to lose my friendship with his Sister who I also love as a Sister. I'm actually really angry about what has happened and have told him not to call me anymore.
  8. When he was younger, he was a heavy drinker and regularly drank in pubs where fights often broke out. Sometimes he would be involved in those fights and would use whatever means to defend himself. When I say extreme physical violence I mean that these fights were not boxing matches, rather noses, ears being bitten off or things smashed across the head. He would also hang around like minded individuals. Its very difficult to explain as in many ways we are very different from one another. He gets off inflicting and receiving pain. I know that I've painted him to be some kind of monster but we ha
  9. Its been a pretty rough year for me these past 12 months. Firstly my Father passed away last April due to Covid-19. I was at his bedside and watched him take his last breath. I couldn't stay in the place I had been living in at the time (long story) but had the resources to purchase a house of my own but meant that I ended up living many miles from friends and family and a 3hr commute to work every day. My Sister took my Dad's death very badly and was suffering from depression. She called me several times and talked about ending her life. My own health went into decline with a recurring back c
  10. Really happy for you and hope it works out well with your new relationship. When I was reading your post my initial thoughts were that there was probably someone else. Often when you hear ' I love you but not in love with you' its usually because they have feelings for someone else.
  11. Hi ND, I was hoping that this one would work out for you but it seems the veganism, debits and perhaps the main issue; religion are just too much of a dealbreaker for her. Personally I would feel insulted by the suggestion of re-opening her online dating account; basically she is going to be looking for a more compatible match whilst keeping you in a FWB situation.
  12. She fell asleep watching BLADE RUNNER....................end this now!!!
  13. More often than not if a guy is coming on strong to begin with then disappears, he is either looking to get laid, has other options or just likes the thrill of the chase. (bar of course a major accident or alien abduction). It all comes down to their reasons for dating; I would imagine somebody looking for something serious like marriage/LTR would probably (although not always)like to take things a little slower and not come on too strongly to begin with.
  14. Would you feel as disgusted if a slim man was only asking for 'larger' women and requested that no 'slim women' reply. Or is it about how you percive fat people?
  15. By your logic; a fat man should not date a slim attractive woman because (a) he is fat and should only consider other fat women (b) who is he trying to kid, she is completely out of his league. What if said slim attractive woman prefers fat men?, what if he has a great personality and makes her laugh?, its quite possible that she may see beyond his physical size; perhaps inspire him to lose weight. Didn't you just say that you do not like guys dating you for looks only?
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