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esboogie143

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  1. esboogie143
    Hey guys....i just wanted ur advise in my particular situation. As you all might already know I am taking it slow with my ex. Believe it or not everything is running smoothly as of now. We speak everyday/email while at work and at night very rare when we talk...and if he does call I keep it nice and sweet and hang up. I am trying to see if by not nagging and doing my psychotic things if it will work btwn us. BUT on the other hand...im having crazy thoughts like whether or not I want him and I to live the "single" life and continue to take things slow and see if we can get that missing feeling back. I am jsut confused. I feel like im thinking like this b/c I have him there ....but then again I know that I wouldnt be having these "give up"feelings if he wasn't there....does that make any sense to anyone? Please share ur insights upon what I'm going through. Thanks all!!!!!!
  2. esboogie143
    I agree 100% with cecelius....
  3. esboogie143
    Girl...you already know what my advise its...though I cant take my own advice...i know for a fact that WE have to go by it. I know its hard...but trust me like I said to you before WE WILL PULL THROUGH WINNING AT THE END OF IT ALL!!! Keep ya head up! Lv ya!!!
  4. esboogie143
    The hardest word that will be difficult for me to say is "NO".
  5. esboogie143
    I LOVE THAT!!!!
  6. esboogie143
    Thank YOU ALL for your concerns and well taken replies to my posts. You guys are the ones (once again) who will make me realize whats gonna be the best choice for me to make!!!! Thank you!!!
  7. esboogie143
    Okay...well I know most of you already know the drama...and yes it continues...After the argument on saturday night with the ex..it had came to a point where we decided we couldnt talk to one another anymore (yeah right) ...though its been said over and over again it never goes that way...anyway he emails me today and says that he is willling to try but only if i prove that I have changed or will change...blah blah...of course i said to him that I will prove to him that I have/will change...as of today we once again are trying to take it slowwww and doing things his way...he doesnt want me to mention the relationship in regard to getting back together or anything of the sort...now my question is....I dont know what the hell to do...my friends are telling me that this is not good and i need to cut him loose...They say that he is playing the game again and its a roller coaster...(which they are right) BUT im stuck i dont know what to do...I love him! Please someone come to my rescue!!! Honetly ...I feel that I dont think he would want to settle down with me b/c of the age difference thats what everyonme is telling me...They said that i need to move on .....Please help Me!!!
  8. esboogie143
    I understand what ur going through...if u read my posts u will see that im going through the same thing..I posted today...I guess the right thing would be to be strong...but hey im gonna keep it real with u...its hard to do all the things that r right...if u wanna call ur gonna call regardless of what anyone else says..u have to learn on ur own...its just soooo messed up that the test comes before the experience. Just like me...im learning the hard way...but hey in life thats how everything works...u will only learn from ur own mistakes...so just keep ya head up and just follow ur heart...
  9. esboogie143
    well...im back for those of you who dont know about my issues u can read my posts if u care to...I am back to the old drawing board....I dont know what else to do anymore....Im soooo wiped out. I have tries the NC and then he called and once again I gave in. He started emailing me at work and calling me at work everyday and then he says i feel like we are a cople..why are u pushing urself on me...I said WHAT???? U call me and email me everysingle day...what the hell r u talking about...this whole argument occurred after having dinner on friday night...he slept over my house...but I for the first time felt uncomfortable....We ended on a bad note on saturday and he (like always said we cant talk) I was like u have major issues and just want ur cake and eat it too...u want us to take things slow but how much slower can we go....we have no direction and ur living ur life...its one thing to take things slow with a direction to go in regard to the raltionship...but i feel that he said to take thing sslow...so it will be alright to talk and share all his feeling and whats going on at work b/c he feels comfortable and safe...i have to stop that ...our relationship will go nowhere...i just need help in how to....Please any advise for me???/Its such a difficult situation b/c neither of us can cut each other off...but I feel like he is gonna try his best to do so...im sick to my stomach...PLEASE HELP!
  10. esboogie143
    Just simply HORRIBLE!!!!
  11. esboogie143
    Thnak you all sooo much for your replies to my post..they are greatly appreciated. I am sooo sad right now....I hate this!
  12. esboogie143
    Im back from Hell...I thought for a minute there that I was in heaven. I went out to eat with my ex last night and it was great while it lasted. After dinner he came back to my apt and slept over...In the morning he accompanied me to run some errands and then there came the question from me...so whats it going to be???? Oh BTW...yesterday he had told me "whats goin' on? I felt like we were together by the way we were talking all day from work..emails and all" I was like I really didnt put much thought to it...he then started with we cant do this...blah blah...back to square one..so it cont'd this afternoon...it was horrible...!!!!! I dropped him off at home and I have to say we ended realllly bad!!!!!!! Once again im back at square 1!!!!!!!!!! Im lonely and sooo sad...And now he's promoting his Friend at a club which is a DJ...I cant take it anymore...when i try the NC it doesnt work for either of us....He's an a**hole...when I got home I called him and was like ur using me !!! HE was like I am get the point already!!! F'IN D***!!!!!!!!! Yes...thats what he said...hes would say anything and everything to hurt me...it soooooo hard to let go...and though he tries to play tough thats his way of not being able to handle anything!!!!!! Please help with positive adcise...Thanks sooo much!
  13. esboogie143
    thank y0ou Beec...and yes like always it makes perfect sense...
  14. esboogie143
    Thank you all. I must say that we are going to have dinner on Thursday night...so right then and there I have to have self control. This would be like the ultimate test. He has been the one emailing me from work and calling me..I just HAVE TO HAVE SELF CONTOL AND PLAY IT COOL! Other than that does anyone have any advise about Thurs when I see him?
  15. esboogie143
    Im such an idiot!!!!!! HE just called me and said that he got in...and then he says u cant call my job like that...you called twice...I was like im sorry i wont call again!!!!!!!!!!! IM AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW IM REALLY NOT GONNA CALL HIM!!!!
  16. esboogie143
    Yea....its me again. I must say that things have gotten better over the past week or so. He emails me everyday when he's at work. He has called me (not frequently) but has and its been great. BUT today he didnt go into work...and I have major anxiety. I called his job and he didnt go in today. I called his cell and its off...OMG...why is this happenning to me ...why can I just chill out and relax...I hate when this happens to me. I really need to slow down and take it one day at a time...he's not my man....ya know...?? Last night he called me telling me that he was gonna go to his friends house (y...i have no clue- he use to tell me things like that when we were 2gether) anyhow...when he called he said "aww is my baby walking in the snow?) I played it off really sweet and answerd him and cont'd the convo....I dont want to fall back and get hooked on him even more...I dont want to fall in any traps or games...ya know...its just hard...I love him and Im hoping that things will stay like this and just get better....Then why the hell am I so anxious????? Please someone give me some advise...Thanks!
  17. esboogie143
    very nice...so real and true...I want you to live by all of your words...
  18. esboogie143
    Thank you all soooo much!!! Your replies aare greatly appreciated!
  19. esboogie143
    My stomach is cringing though my ex-boyfriend ans I are on good terms...My heart desires him sooo bad. I just spoke with him and he has just waken up so I ask him "went to bed late last night" he ws like yeah I did. Now I know he went out...my mind just starts going all over the place of where he went or who he ws with...Its sickening...I hate this uncontrollable feeling. What should I do? I just have a gut feeling that him and I are not gonna go anywhere further than "friends" my heart aches..please help!
  20. esboogie143
    U GUYS ARE GREAT!!! THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT (LIKE ALWAYS)
  21. esboogie143
    You are sooo right...I know I have said alot of things but then when the time comes everything jsut goes out the window and thats how I end up getting hurt. Anyhow...ur right...well as for what he is telling me..he wants to take things slow and start out by "seeing one another"...but he is soo unpredictable with his actions...I hope he doesnt come back after a while saying "I dont think this is gonna work" cuz then forget about it...What the hell would I do? I cant believe that im 29 going through this...its so hard!
  22. esboogie143
    I have been having a great time with my ex. He has come over to my place..we have cooked together and just enjoyed the time together. Mind you we are not together. Today...he sends me an email saying that im pushing nyself on him and im going to make thisngs worse because I am not being myself and every moment I get im bringing up the relationship. (which he's right). He says that he wanted to start off by "seeing one another" but not doing what I have begun to do. its unintentional...but he's right! I do it all the time. He asked me nicely to stop and let things happen naturally. im scared...i feel as if this "seeing each other" is gonna go bad...I cant deal with it. Im soo confused right now. I love being with him and I want to be with him...but a part of me wants to not rush anything (like him) but another part wants the relationship again right away! Someone please help me understand myself...cuz im hurting.. Thanks.
  23. esboogie143
    just be you...strut your stuff if you want. I personally am not into the shaving of the body for the man BUT definitely the clean shaven man down below...ya know...always keep that nice, clean and fresh...Even no hair is great down there....But do what makes u happy...if she finds something wrong or comments in a negative way...then u dont need that! There will always be someone else who would love/like you just as you are!
  24. esboogie143
    Thanks vhshowdown....for sharing your positive outlook towards my situation....
  25. esboogie143
    Thank you Muneca...u made me feel good right now. Your right I will definitely keep on letting him pursue me. Its hard b/c I tend to feel at times that I have that "relationship" feeling inside. And feel that my actions will act in that way...but I will chill out and take it as it comes...its messed up that it has to be that way but hey nothing is easy in life. Hey u never know i may get tired and not want to wait any longer. But as of now im standing tall...Thank You.
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