greendots

How long have you been together and what age group are you both? Not wanting to spend your birthday with your partner is a big red flag, in my opinion. Exceptions, not being able to due to work or an emergency, or if she had gotten flight tickets before you guys became an item. Is she making you a priority in other ways? I would reconsider this relationship if she isn't doing so.

Have you considered some therapy, like psychoanalysis? It would help you understand how these events you're reflecting back on are currently impacting you. Very fascinating! I wish I had studied psychology. Shamless plug: David Eagleman. Neuroscientist who talks on the brain in a way that laymen like myself can understand. Mind-blowing stuff!

If you haven't received a formal invitation (from what you share, it seems last minute), then another very legitimate reason as to not go. Kindly decline their invite and as others have suggested, distance yourself from them.

Firstly, sorry you're hurting. She cheated on you and lied to you repeatedly! You don't deserve such disrespect. As much as it hurts right now, it's in your best interest to let her go. You don't have any children or are married, therefore there is no need to make it work. By taking a break you aren't really in a relationship. What she's doing is cruel. She's making you hang in there by giving you hope. Meanwhile she works on herself, knowing she has you on stand-by. You do not deserve to be treated like that. The best you can do is to let her go.

If my hypothetical BF had been legitimately uninvited somewhere (like, because he made people feel uncomfortable), I wouldn't attend said event. My loyalty is first and foremost towards him, not to whomever uninvited him. As usual, there surely must be some exceptions. Well, I believe in the whole prioritizing your LTR / marriage.

On what planet does he think it's okay to use foul language towards you? Describing experiences, for example, with the f-word, whilst not my style, is understandable. The quoted above is simply abhorrent. Honestly, you can do soooo much better.

I was getting some takeaway today. Almost everyone was starring at their mobile phones. What happened to all that uber-trendy jazz on embracing the moment and being present? Interesting Oliver Stone interview, by the way. Watching it right now 🙂

Erm... I've been called sweetie, hon, etc. All just pleasantries to address a female in some parts of the world. Mate is the equivalent of "bro", so definitely not flirting lingo. I wouldn't read much into it and find love outside the office.

I agree with Tinydance. IMHO, tolerance is about learning how to coexist respectfully with people whose opinion you vehemently disagree with. I certainly believe you crossed a line here. BTW - I would caution against dating someone whose core values you clash with. Tinydance - I can't believe some people are bashing you solely for being originally from Russia.

I just heard about the shooting in Texas. Unbelievable. Perhaps it's time to establish stricter gun policies.

Let me get this straight: So, Jamie knows you're in a relationship with Gemma, yet allows his wife Chloe to go on a trip with you. Gemma is keen for you guys to travel together as well. What the heck?! Either they're both pretty naive or, my first instinct, are Jamie and Gemma having an affair? Apologies if I'm jumping the gun... why both allowed you guys to go on a trip together doesn't make sense to me. Then, maybe, others actually do that sort of stuff...

turtle3, I'm glad to hear you bought your glasses today. 🙂 The blue light filter is to protect our eyes against blue light (waves). Even modern mobile phones have a blue light filter which you can activate, though in some models it turns on automatically at night.

I'm nearsighted, so I wear glasses. I had laser surgery many moons ago on both eyes and whilst I didn't get 20/20 vision, it's good enough that I'm able to take my glasses off, for example, when swimming or when wearing a mask as they get foggy. As everyone else mentioned, I'd suggest you follow whatever your ophthalmologist / optometrist recommended. They're supposed to be competent professionals. 🙂

This piece of info changes my opinion slightly. Are you into monogamy? If you are and she clearly isn't these days, then you guys wouldn't have worked out anyway due to an incompatible lifestyle. So, I'd focus my energies elsewhere and only remain friends if you don't mind her dating others. Man, I really get you... wanting to make sure nothing happens to your elderly mum. Here's the thing: you matter as much as she does. 🙂

Friends hang out, do fun stuff together. Also, have you considered joining meetup groups, volunteer or similar? It's a great way to be less isolated and you get to meet so many interesting people. I met an ex-boyfriend through such a group.

I'll be straightforward: Do you want to see her? ---> You ask her out. "Hi, how about having some coffee this Sunday at 4 PM at Coffee Shop X?" A Yes / No answer will quickly tell you how she feels about you. Endlessly chitchatting on messaging apps or social media is exhausting (especially when you're really busy), utterly mundane and, most likely, will get you nowhere. The only way that something more can develop is if you ask her out and she accepts. No need to label it a date. By spending time with her, you'll both get to know each other better. Don't sell yourself short. You deserve more than "I will take what I can get". Either she appreciates as well as respects you or you find someone else who does.

She wants to be official once you have your first fight? In all honesty, what the heck?! Either she wants to move things forward and be with you or she doesn't. Plus this whole thing about being exclusive but single, isn't that a paradox? Maybe I just don't get it. Dating someone exclusively for 7 months means you're not available to date others. Whereas single people are able to date whomever they want. What kind of woman do you want to be with? Assess whether she's a fit, then act accordingly.

First time I hear about autophagy. What an interesting quest! So, autophagy has been investigated on mice and apparently these rodents benefit from it, but how it affects humans seems to be still being researched. https://theconversation.com/whats-autophagy-its-the-ultimate-detox-that-doesnt-yet-live-up-to-the-hype-172236 https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/autophagy-illustrated/ I'd suggest anyone speak to a competent doctor / physician before considering this sort of thing. 😊

Brunch and dinner sound lovely! 😊

Happy Mother's Day to all our enotalone mothers! 🤗 What are your plans? I made some chocolate mousse for the occasion, crossing fingers it sets well. First time I made the recipe. I'm not a mum, but I am grateful for all the wonderful mums out there giving it their best each day!

Firstly, sorry for your loss. If you believe that going to the funeral is the way to go, why not bring reinforcements to ward off pesky family members? Is there a friend or acquaintance who could accompany you to the funeral? No need to stay there for very long either unless you want to. And whatever happens, don't take the bait. You do whatever you feel is best during this time. Love this!

I'm confounded. Honestly, sorry for what you're going through, but you deserve to be with a woman who doesn't rely on texting metrics to determine whether you guys are sexually suitable.

If I were to ask you what you'd like to eat for lunch, would you hesitate? It's seems to me that you're just going with the flow, not really making any decisions about you or your life. Like, since the pandemic your life is on hold until someone pushes you forward, then your life moves a little bit. What are you afraid of? Your university should have counseling services available for free, highly recommend you check them out. Also, definitely see a physician just to be sure.

I don't believe in relying on motivation. It's great when it's there. Embrace it, make the most of it. But let's be real: sometimes life kicks you down, rubbish hits the fan. Motivation then becomes useless. So, what actually sticks with you day after day? What do you automatically do every morning when you first wake up? Some drink a glass of water, others go to the bathroom, some check their phone. It's an automated response. Your brain has been trained to engage with that same action over and over again every morning. So your body responds and does it. Regardless of how you feel that day. Find a way to train your brain with a positive trigger and make, say, "taking a shower" an automated response. For example, wanting to try out a new coconut body wash simply because you love the scent. It's an irresistible action where your brain goes "Hey, I'm looking forward to having a shower today" and eventually taking a shower will be part of your daily ritual, irrespective of how you feel. My two cents.

Do they have counseling services at your college? I'm sure they'd be happy to assist you. Counseling really helps! Provided that the counselor is competent, of course. And as others have suggested please see a physician.