greendots

Oh no. Big hugs to you ❤️

This! I was once showing signs of depression due to thyroid issues which affected my life terribly and for quite some time. Had I been diagnosed and been on appropriate medication sooner, I could've avoided a lot of heartache back then. Please make sure that your depression is not caused by any medical condition. You can't just snap out of depression, nor does it generally just pass with time. You need to change your lifestyle, so you get better. Yes, it takes effort and consistent discipline. Yes, you don't always feel like it. But every step you take, now matter how small, helps. I've been through depression, so my recommendation would be for you to go to the doctor first. Then, I'd suggest you create a simple to do list like "went for a walk", "did cardio for 30 minutes". Every day you tick what you've accomplished. Reflecting back on doing even a simple activity, for example "taking a shower", feels like you've achieved something on that day. Lastly, keep talking to someone / us about how you're doing. It's good to have someone you can share this sort of stuff to. Keep moving forward. You'll be okay. 🙂

I have to agree with Seraphim on this one. Everyone copes with tragedies differently. That's how she is coping with it. She may not be looking for advice, perhaps she only wants to vent, or desires emotional support. IDK. What's a given - it pays off to be understanding and flexible during times like these. Having said that, does she have other people (friends, family members, support group, therapist) to rely on? It seems you're her main lifeline, and I get if that's exhausting you. Whilst you're there for her, you also need your "me time" to recharge. That's healthy. So, I feel it's imperative to have a diverse support system, that's something I learnt in life. If you feel she's depending on you so much for support, which seems that way, why not encourage her to talk to a therapist, a close friend, etc?

What actions did she do that make you believe she sent you mixed signals? I completely agree with this and would also encourage you to contact her if you'd like to see her. The fact that she thinks the world of you is honestly a fantastic compliment. She certainly likes you - whether romantically, that I don't know.

Hm, texting someone good morning takes little effort. What I'd look at is whether her texting frequency and style she uses with you is different from the one she uses with her friends or family. Let's say, she were someone who barely texts others. In that case, her frequently texting you would likely indicate romantic interest. However, her texting you frequently wouldn't mean much if she were to text others regularly as well. Same with the picture sending, asking how you're doing, etc. Honestly, I'd give her a call not to interrogate her but to see how things flow and then take it from there. A chilled out conversation. Kudos to her being honest. According to what you mentioned, signs point to her not knowing what to do. Perhaps I'm biased, because I'm kind of like that. So, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. She straight up told you that she's not ready for romance or was it something you inferred? I feel that a phone call would give you some clarity. 🙂

Have you tried calling her? Texting isn't the best way to gauge someone's emotions and feelings. I'd say, a phone call is much much better. Try calling her or video calling her. See how it goes. Has she ever told you whether she likes you? She may not have said the standard "I like you" but expressed it in other ways.

+ She was direct and honest in telling you how she feels. - She just doesn't want to pursue anything with you. You'll not be able to change her mind. You being a gent has most likely nothing to do with it. Whatever reasons she gave you, they're irrelevant - she provided you with justifications to gracefully (in her way) exit dating you. I'm sorry that this situation blows. I hope you find someone more suitable!

That's not cool. I'd say, she could've handled it much better. I hope you find someone else who treats you well. 🙂

You're welcome. Reflecting on my own life experiences, being upbeat and happy (smiling, laughing, enjoying the workout) is attractive. So, whilst you're backing off, still keep that positive vibe. Should he be truly interested in you, he'll be drawn to that vibe and seek you.

A few things pop into my mind: - Not everyone who has a social media account, uses it regularly and some people are selective about who they add onto their social media account. - People who don't want to chat with you will find a way to cut conversation short by not asking you questions or saying things like "I've got to go", "See you tomorrow". - Not everyone who is interested in talking to you will volunteer information, but someone is more likely to do so if interested. - Someone who is genuinely keen on you is more likely to treat you differently than everyone else. - When someone is really interested in you, they are enthusiastic. Like very happy to see you, wanting to hear more from you, etc. As for body language, they say the direction of the feet show where someone's interest is. So, when he's talking to you where are his feet pointing at? The nearest exit, someone else or you? It seems that at the moment you're just gym acquaintances.

This. Happiness, I find, is a choice. I may not always feel joyful but, as Lambert mentioned, still be happy in life. I choose to smile, even when circumstances around me are dire. Lambert said it brilliantly: My story is an ongoing one - life doesn't have a pause button - , where one day I learnt to accept that I'm a constant work in progress and took it from there. I can assure you that right now I'm facing stuff that you could write an almost harrowing blockbuster about. My decision is to keep smiling whilst I work on what I can control and let go of what I can't. Am I always upbeat and cheery? No, I'm only human. Still, despite rubbish hitting the fan, my choice is to keep on smiling. So, how do I go about it in practical terms? I make it a point to 'nourish' myself with positivity, anything that brings joy and enriches my life, like watching positive movies, engaging with good friends and activities that are relaxing. I also find things to smile about. For example, the sun is shining, a bird is chirping, reading a really good book, enjoying a cup of coffee, etc.

Bolt, sorry to hear about your senior kitty. Thinking of you.

Even the most guarded individual is likely to open up more than usual in an appropriate environment with the right person. Some people have that incredible personality that is conducive to elicit deep conversations. It's like the way they interact with you, it puts you so much at ease that you feel comfortable and safe sharing stuff with them. Do you follow me? How comfortable do you feel about opening up to him, when you're together?

I feel like she felt pressure when you asked her why you don't meet more often. You're not in sync as you're going at different speeds. Thus, she pulls back. I'd say respect her space, take it easy, yet keep flirting and doing fun stuff with her. You could win her over if she notices through actions that you understand her. Definitely show interest and ask her out again, but respect her wishes of going at her speed. Show her that you've listened to what she said. She'll surely respect that. By the way, not everyone is keen on texting. So don't fret if she's not into it. Spending time together is more valuable than receiving constant texts anyway. You're not officially dating or anything, so you're able to meet other women as well.

I see. I know it hurts when the other person doesn't want the same reality as you right now, but you will get through this. 🙂

I see. 🙂 So, let me get it right. She handled it well, you don't want to be a place holder, you're not looking for validation. Ok. Then, you talk about solving it via a conversation. What specifically would you have liked (or would like) to solve via a conversation?

Honestly, my initial impression after reading everything you wrote is that she is confused. It may be a BS excuse or a 100% genuine one. That's where it's at, unfortunately. Remind yourself that it's not you, it's her inability at the moment to give you a logical reason (that clicks in your brain) as to why she suddenly switched gears. I'm talking about that 'aha moment', where suddenly everything makes sense. So, therefore take it easy on yourself. Plus, it takes to two tango. Also, the way I see it is that slip ups are part of life. We all slip up. And whilst it's surely easier to get along and connect when things are flowing nicely, I feel that when we find ourselves in quicksand that's when we discover whether we're truly suitable for each other. Ultimately, how do you feel about the way she handled this situation?

Doing some artsy stuff sounds like fun. However, I'd recommend you omit the "if you want", "I'm not sure" and any expression that doesn't exude confidence. In other words, be confident when asking her out. I hope it goes well for you! 🙂

A like is just a like, a follow is nothing more than a follow. As to whether you'd like to contact her, I'd question why I'd like to get in touch with her, whether I'd benefit from it or not and then decide.

How do you know for certain that she isn't interesting in dating you? She may be going through a lot, but maybe dating you would be a pleasant change. All I'm saying is, ask her out for coffee and see whether she might be interested in dating you. As for her moving overseas one day, nothing has been set in stone until she has the airline tickets. All the best! 🙂

I feel that emotions, masculinity and so on are all shades of gray and we shouldn't limit humans with labels and placing them in boxes which don't allow room for growth.

I'm sorry for your loss. Honestly, do anything that helps you cope with it, like journalling, drawing, walking, grief recovery groups, talking to friends, etc. If you feel like crying, then so be it. Everyone deals with loss differently, so just do whatever works for you. I wish for you to have peace and strength get through this. ❤️

That means he's your boyfriend. Why say that otherwise? Means "I'll see you soon." You guys are moving forward. Focus on that. 🙂

Ghosting is not excusable, except when you're dealing with an abuser, or some such that warrants it. (Dating only once without any further texting, doesn't count.) Ghosting is someone's passive aggressive way of dealing with an uncomfortable situation. She may be busy, not in a good time to date, or simply not interested, etc. The reality is that texting someone "I don't think we're a match.", "I don't feel the same way about you.", "I'm currently unable to date.", "Please stop texting me." or whatever takes less than 30 seconds to type. Her attitude is revealing you how she treats others in those circumstances and how she deals with uncomfortable situations - by avoiding them and disappearing. Do you want someone like that in your life?

You're not alone. To be honest, a lot of things that we didn't struggle with before seem to take more of an effort nowadays. The situation we're living in has taken a toll on our mental health and overall well-being and I feel we're more easily susceptible than before. For example: We see some people living an 'amazing' life online or during that split-second on the street. In reality, who knows what's really going on behind the scenes. But the sheer act of witnessing a model-like person having a grant time somewhere fantastic makes us question ourselves, just like you said, that maybe we're not doing enough. You know what? Maybe some are truly living this grandiose life, but often times this picture-perfect glimpse we get of someone else is akin to a beautiful book cover; where once you peek inside, you realize that cover was a total deception. You keep doing you. You're certainly not boring and, whilst I haven't seen a picture of you, I'm betting that you aren't unattractive either. 🙂