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  1. I'm not expecting to make any friends in this forum. Both me and my friend's wife know what we are doing is really really wrong. I've changed the names and places to protect people and avoid anyone we know in real life discovering what is going on. I'm a guy and met my friend’s wife (Chloe) about 20 years ago as teenagers. When we met we were teenagers, despite us both being single and us having a close and slightly flirtatious friendship from the off we have always remained platonic until a few weeks ago. We have remained close friends throughout the last 20 years. Around 15 years ago Chloe met who is now her husband, Jamie and I was introduced to Jamie through Chloe. Jamie has over time become my best friend and just as much part of my life as Chloe. Chloe and Jamie got married in 2017 and I was best man. I have never felt any jealously for their relationship, me and Chloe simply never had that sort of relationship before they got together. I’ve always had a reputation as being a bit of a player and have had many short term relationships/flings with many people who both Jamie and Chloe introduced me to over the years. However in the last 10 years I have been in a relationship with the same person, Gemma. Me and Gemma had children very quickly after meeting but our relationship has been very cold and loveless for many years, despite many attempts to rekindle what we had (which was never much in the first place). Chloe and Jamie on the surface have a much more loving relationship, but Chloe has always confided with me (especially in the last year or so) that often Jamie is cold towards her and has a low sex drive. We’re now both in out mid thirties. Chloe had planned to go on holiday with her female friend to Egypt, but for whatever reason her friend cancelled a few weeks before the holiday and due to childcare Jamie was unable to take her place. Chloe approached me and asked if I wanted to take her friend’s place. The holiday was cheap, I was happy to go, Jamie and Gemma were both happy for us to go together as they obviously completed trusted us alone together. We had managed 20 years with nothing happening so it seemed reasonable that nothing would happen, even to me. Many of my friends and colleagues thought it was strange that we went on holiday together and poked jokes that we were really having an affair. During the holiday me and Chloe became closer and closer, we laughed, flirted, cuddled. About two days into the holiday Chloe told me that she did fancy me and had the situation been different with our other relationships she could see herself with me, not Jamie. It was like something clicked. I’d never thought of Chloe like that. Yes I find her attractive to look at but I had a sudden rush of feelings for her that felt so strong. That night, despite us not really having any alcohol we cuddled naked, intimately kissed and touched in bed. And this continued every night, eventually it became sexual towards the end of the holiday. For the whole holiday we acted like a loving couple who were very much in the honeymoon period. We even referred to each other as gf / bf. It was like being a teenager again, the excitement and lust we felt for each other was amazing. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It was perfect in our little bubble thousands of miles away from home. A perfect holiday romance with the added twist of us having a completely different life at home. The thing that is hard here is that, we didn’t just get drunk and have sex; we absolutely fell in love and now have really strong feelings for each other. There was no need for it to take any time for all this to happen because of the length of our friendship already, it was just uncovered (discovered) in a matter of days. Now we’re home and of course it’s now a lot more complicated. Chloe says that she is in love with both me and Jamie. I had said that the last thing I want to happen is for her and Jamie to break up, but our feelings for each other are still there and seem stronger than any guilt we have for what we’re doing. Me and Chloe have tried to see each other as much as we can since we got home. I miss her so much within a few days of not having one-on-one time with her. Chloe has said that she wants there to still be an ‘us’ when we can be sure we are alone and no one can catch up (ie – out of town together) and keeps discussing how we could arrange a trip for just me and her. Chloe says she is so torn between her feelings for me and the guilt. (Obviously the feelings are winning at the moment) I feel guilt, towards Jamie. I’m numb to any guilt for Gemma as she has shown me absolutely no affection for years. But my feelings for Chloe are completely over-riding the guilt I have. I’m terrified Chloe ends this as she can just go back to Jamie and I’m left with nothing, I only love one women, Chloe. I keep saying to myself it needs to stop and Chloe also says this on the phone but when we see each other our feelings just take over and we end up kissing passionately and more. We both seem to be able to act really normal around everyone else and as far as I know no one suspects anything, although it is probably obvious to both Jamie and Gemma that we seem to be spending a lot more time together than we did before the holiday. I’ve convinced myself that it’s plausible that we could just be closer, even as platonic friends. Neither Jamie or Gemma have said anything to suggest they suspect anything. I’m scared that we can’t stop and we get caught and that would be a nightmare for everyone. I don’t want to end this with Chloe, I love her more than Gemma and I’m scared how much this will hurt my mental health. My heart wants to find a way to carry this on indefinitely, even if, like Chloe suggests, it’s just the occasional thing. Neither of us planned this, we genuinely fell in love. Yes, maybe in hindsight it was predictable and we shouldn’t have spent a week together on holiday together. I don’t want Chloe to be with me instead of Jamie, they are both everything to me and I need them as friends, probably more so if this got out and Gemma threw me out. Jamie thinks I’m a player at heart and I believe that if he found out, he’d probably ultimately forgive Chloe, believing that she’d somehow fallen for my ‘game’ and place a lot more of the blame on me. In reality, Chloe was completely different from anyone else I’ve been with, she broke me, I love her and this was an entirely 50/50 relationship and no one had any premeditated intention of this happening. Anyone been in a similar position and how did it turn out?
  2. I’ve been crushing on my best friend for a year and a half… Ive talked to him about other guys and he’s told me about other girls… Hid last relationship was with a girl who used to be my friend, she turned out to be toxic and really bad for him… The other girl was one of the people I knew, and she turned out to be a slightly different breed of toxic. I don’t know if he’s just sweet in general, but dang he is… Stuff like “I went because you went” ”Your my best friend” ”Where did you go?” XD last few days we’ve been talking till two AM, some people may not find this strange but we have veryyyyy different sleeping schedules. His ex is going to the next dance, with another guy to make my best friend jealous and get him back. so he says he’s gonna get a date just to get off his back, but not someone he would date date. He brought up two girls and didn’t know who else so I suggested myself as a last resort…^^’ We had been responding to each other right after getting texts…five minutes goes by and I send “It’s just a suggestion dude xD” cause I got nervous and he responded right after “I might actually… 😂 like if no one else works” He’s been sweet…saying I looked good in dresses I wore to the last few dances… And his brother dropped “If you ever feel like something is going on…he trusts you a lot, you two are really close.” a few days ago…^^’ I don’t know, I guess I needed to vent?
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