greendots

Why are you putting yourself down? A muscular guy and very athletic man can be interested in you. It seems this guy does. Enjoy it. See where it leads. 🙂

A compatible lifestyle is definitely more important. Glad to read that your date went well! Surely he'll contact you soon. Even if he takes longer to reply than usual, a positive attitude is everything. Debbie Downers are an immediate turn-off. So awesome to hear that he was a gentleman, respectful, kind and treated the wait staff well!

You've already openly expressed to her that you like her. She knows. Should she genuinely be interested in you, she will contact you. Since you're working together I wouldn't push this any further. You don't want HR on your case. Welcome to the forum!

You certainly mean well. You will do anything to protect your daughter, your son, your wife, your family. I honestly get you. I had to protect someone as well. My dad was a high risk individual, so for a long while I was unable to meet anyone outside of the 'bubble'. Whenever I'd go to the supermarket I'd make sure to go when the stores opened or during lulls - following all the necessary protocols. Imagine if anything happened to him because of me! I wouldn't have been able to stomach it. At the beginning of the pandemic my dad wasn't allowed out. Too risky. As time went by, he longed to connect with friends and family, get some fresh air. We were worried. What if something would happen to him? He was a high risk individual after all. Not to mention, the stories you heard about loved ones being affected by Covid - harrowing! Anyway, long story short, once he got vaccinated he started to meet people safely. Were we still worried? Sure. What if he forgot to wear his mask properly? What if he lost it? What if the other person was breaching protocols? So many unknowns. Yet, whenever he was about to meet a friend, you saw how his eyes sparkled with joy and how big his smile was. Priceless! Ultimately, we all needed to keep moving forward despite Covid as this pandemic seemed to stick around. I started to safely meet selected people as well. But for a long while, I didn't date or go to parties or do anything too risky. All to protect my dad. My dad isn't with us anymore, we now have to protect our mum. Here's the thing though, I don't know what will happen tomorrow. All I know is that we cannot isolate ourselves forever from the world. We need to move forward and learn how to coexist with whatever infirmity is thrown at us. And that's what we're doing. Trying, anyhow. I hope my experience resonates with you. It's nice to hear that you care. 🙂

This first meet is like when a male stranger approaches you on a bus for the first time and starts chatting. Got on the bus and you knew nothing about him. Got off the bus and learned he loves Nirvana so much that he bought every one of their albums and that he has to start work at 9. It's 8:00 right now. So he's a stickler for punctuality. See? Nothing to be scared of. You'll discover who he really is when you meet him. Be your best self, be positive and uplifting (very attractive qualities), dress well for the occasion and, for safety reasons, meet in a public place and tell someone you trust where you're going to be. You'll do just fine. 🙂

The beauty of this forum is that you receive diverse & fresh perspectives. It's nice to learn from others. I remember believing something so strongly once, then realised through life experience that posters were right. 🙂

This. Some people merely seek confirmation on their thoughts and fears. I'm hoping in this case OP is busy and will return soon to give us an update 🙂

I get not wanting to ditch your old male friends just because you're in a relationship or marriage. But dealing with new male friends is tricky. Ask her not to be friends with him and she might stop being forthcoming about him to you. Your best bet, learn to be on board with said friendship provided it's respectful of boundaries and genuinely get to know her male friend. As the proverb goes: "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." And should he be single, you can casually invite a suitable available female when you guys hang out as a group. Discuss this with your wife first, of course. Now, regarding boundaries: Big NO, the moment you're in a relationship or are married - staying at your buddies house overnight and spending more time with your male friend than with your SO. Behaviour I'd question, depending on context, going to his house alone. Is she adamant about wanting to see his house alone or would she welcome you popping by for a visit?

Hey, Starbaby14, what do you and your boyfriend do together and how often do you spent time together? 🙂

He met a female friend from childhood. So, what did they do? Go to a restaurant to catch-up during daytime? For me it would be all about how often he meets a female friend and how open he is to talk about her and whether he's willing to include you in at least some of the outings. Like does he share with you if she has a boyfriend, where she works and so on? Him meeting a female friend every now and then for a catch-up is, I believe, normal. Going on a weekend get-away with her would be, in my book, definitely something I'd question. You're not going to ditch your already established male / female friends merely because you're dating someone / have a boyfriend. You'd probably would also like some quality one on one time with them. But out of respect you'd tell your partner about them and welcome them to outings. I'm hoping that conversing with him was productive and he's willing to include you in future get-togethers with her female friend. 🙂

I've been contemplating this. For example, my belief in God is the key fundamental in my life. Some of my (close) friends though don't share that view or express it differently, always being respectful and kind to each other. It's sharing those two core values, respect and kindness, as to why we're still friends to this day. Would I marry someone who doesn't share my religious views? No as that key fundamental is a non-negotiable for me. But if he were a vegetarian, for example, as long as he treated our differences with respect and kindness we would make it work. Like itsallgrand suggested it's about sharing core values.

Does your boss (or whoever makes the big decisions) value that you attend such events, that you socialize with colleagues? If yes, then I'd make an appearance. Socialize by asking them questions about their kids or whatever they like to talk about and then leave as soon as appropriate.

Most of us here agree that gifting your recent boyfriend racy pictures taken by your ex, whilst well intended, was inappropriate. Having said that, I'm baffled that your recent boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with you over that. Have you guys been doing well otherwise? Did he generally trust you?

I'm so sorry for your loss. Were you and your granny close? Please go to an AA meeting / support group for alcoholics. Think of your granny as well as your nieces. Take that step for them. You still have a future ahead of you and your nieces are part of it. What memories would you like to create with them? It will be a tough road to walk on, but the reward of being able to built a future with your nieces - priceless. In the meantime, keep writing here any time you like. It's a nifty supportive community. 😊

May I ask, how's your life really like? Any issues with family, relationship or work? You think you've got the drinking under control. You don't. One day, everything will come crashing down. You can acknowledge, right now, that you're an alcoholic and seek professional help. Or you can pretend that you've got it under control and wait for your world to fall apart. Because if you keep drinking like that it will. And I wouldn't like it for your world to fall apart.

Great news! 😊

Maybe she has had plenty of experiences where others have cancelled on her last minute. How often do you hang out with your work buddy outside of work? I hope that by talking to her you can work things out.

No for me as well. I like for things to grow naturally and over time. Whatever floats your boat though. 🙂

Real talk: Depending on the type of cancer he's got there may not be a cure, which means that many newer treatments are experimental. No one knows how the patient's body will respond to such a treatment. It's a gamble until doctors find one that works. Additionally, any treatment not only impacts the cancer patient physically but emotionally as well. Plus imagine, tests are ongoing to monitor treatment thus a cancer patient is at the doctor's quite often, which can be exhausting. Add on to that the dietary restrictions and lifestyle changes a cancer patient has to get used to. I'm not telling you this to deter you from dating him (should he be single or separated), but I want to give you an accurate picture of what dealing with a cancer patient is like. My dad had cancer, and I witnessed what he and my mum had to go through. A blessing that they had each other and supported each other through thick and thin, because it was tough. Are you ready for this experience?

Where do you approach potential friendships? How do you approach them? Define over enthusiastic. Buying VIP tickets to you're favourite band's gig and belting out their tunes whilst dancing on the front row is one thing. Showing up at their hotel room hoping for an autograph is quite another. In all seriousness - I remember befriending this woman who, at the time, I thought I connected with on a friendship level. Turns out that one day she wasn't so keen to hang out with me. Whilst I thought we clicked, she didn't. Nothing wrong with either of us. After having read your other posts on this thread, I've noticed a pattern, you're quick to consider someone your friend even though they may be an acquaintance like your neighbour who you pet sat for.

Eh? You're simply being nice. It's a good quality to have. 🙂 Truth is, you're not going to connect or click with everyone you meet (instantly or at all). Making genuine long lasting friendships happens gradually. For example, you attend a class and say hi. Next time you ask them something about that class and so on. Sharing similar interests / lifestyles helps you connect more easily. The more you put yourself in situations (classes, volunteering, etc.) where you have to interact with others, the more chances of meeting potential friends. Quality over quantity any time. Oh and being positive, a high energy vibe attracts like minded people. What is your approach when trying to befriend someone?

Hot & cold = he's learnt some "how to be an alpha and conquer a woman" BS, he's playing with you for whatever reason or he's not really that interested in you. Either way, not a good sign. Men who are truly into you show consistent interest. I learnt it not so long ago.

I don't like suggesting this, but I'd let him go as he doesn't seem to value how caring you are. If he wants to remain your friend, it's up to him to step up to the plate and show you through actions that he means it.

Good to know that his physical assessment went pretty good. Hoping you both find strength with each new day. xx

Becoming 'besties' with someone's boyfriend is questionable. Had they already been friends before he met you I'd be understanding about them wanting to hangout alone. Also, I feel that by focusing on your best friend you're making her more relevant in your romantic relationship than need be. So, if he tells you about her acknowledge that he's talking to you (and you want to be respectful about that) but change the topic. Talk about movies, the news, whatever else. Act similar if she tells you about him. I was just about to suggest that. Find out if he has any available male friends both of you could introduce her to. Or maybe you know some single men. He won't object to your best friend meeting other men if he's not interested in her. See if all of you can go out on a group outing. You're not setting her up on a blind date. You're just introducing her to other men. Try it and observe how it turns out.