Halo239

Hey guys, thank you for your response. I have written this in a bad place and may have made it look worse than it is. Which is not fair. Yes, there is defenitely a lot of talking to do, biggest mistake was not making myself clear. I compensate a lot of my pain with humor and that leads to missunderstandings. It is a new situation and I dont like new situations. I challenges my previous realtionship to my friend und to myself and it changes the way we function, I know. I am sure they dont know I feel like thirdwheeling, all of this happened while we were drunk, which is not an excuse, it just makes things harder to clear. The thought of them not accepting me is scary but I doubt it to be more than thought. I am really good at spiraling and then I tend to just not say anything. I am not ready to give them up, but your advice really gave me strenght to stand up for myself. Thank you!

Hey guys, so I am in a new relationship and I have trouble finding a solution for the following reasons: Normally I would ask my best friend about it, but she is one part of my problem and I dont know how to talk about it with her. First things first, I havent had a serious realtionship for a long time and it's challenging to set boundaries, both because I think I am a very chill girfriend, I trust him and everything, but sometimes I may be to chill and dont know how to talk about things, that I have previously said are okay but are not okay for me anymore. Other thing is my best friend IS my best friend, shes part of my life and I know, she would never try to "steal" my boyfriend. We know each other for a long time, she knows how my mind works. My problem is with them liking each other like good friends. Like them meeting and talking about stuff and bonding. I think it's great they like each other, because they are both very important to me and we will spent time with each other. But when we are together I feel like they sometimes go against me. She doesnt seem to mind, talking about/ accusing me of things that I find should be talked about first im private. For example she said with him around that I am jealous, which I am, but they laughed about it like it is not an important feeling and definitly something I dont want to be laughed or mocked at for. When I am with them, they talk most of the time and leave me out or ignore me, because apparently I am not interesting enough to be part of the conversation. - it is very hard for me to talk about things, I dont like feeling vulnerable and I feel like I am not taken serious here. Which makes it even harder to talk about. And the other problem that really weighs hard on my heart is, that she is going to move to our city to study at the same uni he is in. I am full time working, so I will not be present there. She said it would be nice that she knows someone there. And it's true, moving to another city, it's great knowing people. But the tought of them being alone makes me sad. Because she is my best friend and I talk about my problems with her and them being close friends means i can't really do that anymore. I doesn't feel "safe". The have already spent time alone and apparently had a lot of fun. When they joke around and I look at them weird, because I just cant always control my face, I can see them judging my jealousy. I dont think, me feeling this way comes from nothing, I fee like i have valid reasons to be upset. I just dont know, how to tell them without making it weird, whenever we spent time together or them talking about it when they are alone. It feels like I lost already.