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rchubn last won the day on August 4 2019

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About rchubn

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  1. I thing other people would suggest that you message back or explain but I dont think that is necessary. You've set boundaries already, youve decided that it makes you uncomfortable to talk to someone elses girlfriend, especially someone you're friends with. That is a boundary you made for your comfort, you can respect that if you want to because it is YOUR boundary. It is your barrier to protect your feelings and your friends feelings by talking to his girlfriend in the way she wants. Don't let people complicate your life, especially when you have a concious choice/voice that suggests reso
  2. You are doing what you feel will protect your feelings and she should respect the boundaries you've made yourself.
  3. I've posted about this before...in similar threads. Some may know me or my situation already. I'm out of the house and I'm cutting my mother off, but I'm now unpacking some of the mess and it's making me even more confused and hurt than I already am. I am realizing that mother had unhealthy thoughts about me from the beginning and that there was nothing I couldve done about it to stop it because I was a child and that these unhealthy thoughts were being projected onto a infant/child and if she wanted to solve it she couldve gotten help and didnt have to choose to think this way about h
  4. My grandmother did drugs when she was raising my mother, specifically in high school. Because of that my mother had a horrible childhood. However...my grandmother got clean towards the last 20 years of her life. She was able to be a great grandmother to me. She took on the role of the second parent and partially raised me: picked me up from school, was there when I got home, was excited to ask me about my day. I feel that me being born gave my grandmother and grandfather a chance to be viewed in a new light without a past and they were grateful for that treated me like a princess. Howe
  5. I live in the United States in Washington State if that helps. Thank you for your kind words
  6. A therapist can help me but a therapist can't hold me when I need it. I was told not to contact my family by my mother. But I spend majority of this time fighting the urge to reach out. Whenever I get good news I want to contact my family despite them telling me not to. (I talk myself our of it) How can I cope with this or curve this desire? ALSO...A BIT OFF TOPIC.. How can I cope with losing material things that hold meaning for me? I moved out the other day but I had to bring only what I could carry to my new apartment and I had to leave a lot of sentimental stuff that will probably be
  7. I was cut off by my family. I posted about the situation on other threads. In short: my family (mainly my mother) doesnt want me around. However I'm coping with a sexual assault and I want someone around but that isnt a realistic desire for my situation. I am struggling with this SEVERELY. And although I'm getting help I still go home to an empty apartment and I'm craving love. That mindset is placing me in a position where I'm itching to contact family even though I was told not to make contact. I spend 60% of my life fighting the urge to reach out even though I'm not supposed to.
  8. I was sexually assaulted and I have a very inconsistent mother and we've always been estranged and I've accepted that but a few weeks ago I guess I felt comfortable I regretfully blurted it out to her, she started being nice to me which was something I found weird at the time. I knew that this attention would eventually fade and we'd be estranged again but I was so desperate to run into someones arms and I chose the wrong person. Today we got in an argument over something unrelated and I guess she thought I had an attitude because she blurted, "you act like I'm the one that sexually as
  9. I know exactly how she feels though. Shes verbalized it my entire life. I was the only child physically abused, my siblings even acknowledge that. I was the only child that didn't get mental health therapy as a child, my siblings did. I was the child that she allowed her boyfriend to bully (I was in first grade). I was the suicidal child that constantly got emails from my concerned teachers about dark things I've said about myself in my elementary school classroom. I would sit in a childrens home toy room while my siblings got therapy two doors down. It got to the point where my school eventua
  10. I told because I was weak and pathetic in that moment. We had the first good day in a long time and she seemed positive/in a good mood (I later realized it was because of some unrelated gain in her personal life) and I stupidly read that mood change as something that has to do with me and us having a good day as mother and daughter. I was in dream world and needed to talk to someone, I had a bunch of unrealistic expectarions and hopes and I overstepped
  11. I've started to talk to someone. They're encouraging me to embrace her but I KNOW her. She does not care. I will end up HURT if I fall into unstable arms while I'm already broken
  12. I don't have a good relationship with my mom. I could never get her to visit me or answer phone calls or text messages. I was never allowed to visit her as well, when I'd bring it up she'd ignore me. I live in a different city btw, an hour away. We had a close moment a few days ago and I stupidly disclosed the fact I was sexually assaulted. Now she's suddenly being nice to me. Suggesting that she visit me more. However, this is not authentic concern from her. This is guilt on her part and her kindness is to make herself feel better and not because she has general concern about her daug
  13. Im not easy to be with. I have lots of flaws. In some regard it feels like I owed him that much because I was not the perfect partner and he deserved some compensation. I'm aching to talk about it with someone but part of me feels like I'm overreacting and part of me feels disgusted with myself because I'm accusing him of stuff but I was so difficult to love and be with, I feel like I deserved it and it was nature balancing itself
  14. Quarantine has me unearthing a lot of pain that I psychologically suppressed. One of those pains is my sexual experience I with an ex partner. *If I consent to sex and my partner decides to do unconsented sexual aggression like squeezing and pinching, almost like BDSM pain torture stuff, is this sexual assault? (I was in what I thought was a loving relationship and him being aggressive or wanting to hurt me was shocking) is this sexual abuse? *If I consented but show a non verbal revoke of consent like pulling away to the point where he was chasing me across the bed to get acces
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