ShySoul

Comfortably Numb, You are not ugly. You just have had a hard time finding the right person. It doesn't matter that women have had relationships and more experience than you. What matters is that you and her get along, have things in common and are comfortable being around each other. It's fine to be a little nervous but you shouldn't let it make you that uncomfortable or insecure. You will find someone, it's just a matter of time. Believe in yourself and don't let this get you down. Instead of looking at it like you are behind, think of yourself as pure, waiting to share yourself with that special person you have been waiting and saving yourself for. For anyone who feel this way, don't get discouraged. Love will find you when the time is right. And it will be better and more magical than you've imagined.

Don't be rude or mean. Be polite. Pay attention to her and listen to her. Just be yourself and things should work out.

But what is attractive is so subjective. Just because alot of people find someone attractive doesn't mean everyone does. Hallie Berry, Britney Spears, Shania Twain... alot of people find them attractive and sexy but I don't see what's so appealing. It doesn't matter if 9 out of ten go for that, that still leaves one for you. Being attractive and sexy isn't so much about looks as its about attitude.

Don't worry about. I'm almost 22, nearing the end of college and I've never dated. I know it can feel lonely and you can begin to feel bad about yourself because you haven't dated. But don't let it get you down. Alot of people date in high school just to have the experience and say they have dated. Most of the time these relationships aren't all that serious. When you do find someone and go out with her, it'll be great and you won't care how long it took you. I'm also shy and don't really go up to people and talk to them, so I know how it feels. I think you should do what you feel is best for you. If you want to approach someone, go ahead. If you think that will be helpful to you then do it. But if you don't want to then its no big deal. I'm sure you have friends who like and appreciate you. As long as those friendships are fine, I wouldn't be worried.

You need to decide who it is you want to be with this girl or your girlfriend. Stick with that person and don't pursue the other in any way. It's not right that you have been flirting with this other girl when you already have a girlfriend. Plus she has a boyfriend. The two of you are playing with fire and will end up burned. If your partners find out you are cheating on them it will likely end the relationships and even if they don't you will have to lie to cover it up which isn't healthy for the relationship. Plus, things may not work out between you and the girl. My advice is to stop fooling around and pick one girl. You should probably stick with your girlfriend since she is suppose to be the one you are with and care about. But your actions will only end up hurting people.

You are not a horrible person. The fact that you are so concerned about hurting your boyfriend goes to show that you care about him and are a good person. But sometimes you have to think about yourself and do what makes you feel happy, what you know is right for you. If the relationship isn't working then it is better to end it now then let things drag on when your hearts not really into it. Being smart and convenient isn't reasons for staying with someone. You should stay with someone because you love them and they make you happy. If your not feeling that connection, it isn't wise to stay. Sure, your boyfriend may feel hurt. But if you have a serious talk with him and tell him how you are feeling then I'm sure you can come to a peaceful split. You feel like you are cheating on him. But you haven't done anything with the other guy and admit that you don't love him. That's not cheating. You are doing the right thing by taking things slow with him and just getting to know him. If you like talking to this guy, talk to him. But make it clear that you don't have any of those feelings for him right now. Say you want to be friends right now and you'll see what happens. And if your feeling stressed out about this, I'd suggest doing something fun for awhile and just taking your mind off of the situation. Clear your head a bit. Then come back to it refreashed. Really, you are not a bad person you are just in a confusing and rough spot. Follow your heart, you'll do the right thing.

You're right Ceema-k, I wouldn't trade in my experiences for anything else. I believe that everthing that I've gone through, even all the pain and loneliness, has made me a better person. It's made me who I am today, someone I'm proud to be. All this time waiting has helped me realize that I don't want to just give myself to any old person, I want everything to be perfect. I want someone who truly understands me. I know how love should be and will appreciate and savor every moment of my relationship. I know that I will treat her right and not take the love for granted. In the end, I'm going to have been better off for waiting and I think anybody whose in the same position should look at things like that. Just because you haven't found someone doesn't mean you've failed. It just means that the game isn't over and you have yet to win.

By unattraction do you mean that you are not attracted and just indifferent or do you mean there is something about the person that really turns you off? In the first case it is entirely possible to fall in love with the person later while in the second case its a lot more difficult. As long as you take the time to get to know the person you can begin to like them. But is someone was being really mean or sleezy, I wouldn't be likely to take that time and thus there is no chance of something developing. There doesn't have to be an initial captivation, there just can't be instant repulsion.

Attractiveness is a matter of perception and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are probably a number of girls who think you are cute, they've just never had the guts to tell you. There's a first time for everthing, right? I say talk to the friend. You have nothing to lose. Be yourself, be confident, and see what happens.

If a girl is going to judge you based upon wearing glasses, she's not worth it. Don't worry about what girls like, focus on what you want. If you are fine with glasses, wear them. If you'd prefer contacts, fine. It shouldn't matter. In my opinion, glasses can help draw attention to a persons eyes, not detract from them. They also can symbolize intelligence which I find very attractive.

GreatGuy! stole my answer. Ok, what is really sexy is someone who is completely comfortable with you they are, someone who doesn't buy into others people conceptions of who they should be or what sexiness is. In fact, I'd say that the sexiest people are those who would never think about themselves or someone else being "sexy."

Amethyst is pretty much dead on here. The more time you spend with her and the more you get to know her will give you a good inclination as to the truth of the rumors. People's actions will almost certainly give away the type of person they are, you just have to be able to pick up on the signs. I think you are right to be hesitant. You need to really get to know her and if things look to be getting serious than have a talk about it. About the health concern, realistically that should be a concern with any relationship you are in. Amethyst is correct in saying that it only takes one time for something to happen. If two people are going to sleep together, although I think that would be a long ways off, its something that needs to be discussed. As for the moral issue, I think that the past is the past. As long as she is willing to change then I'm not going to hold her mistakes against her or look down on her because of it. That's assuming the rumors are even true.

If she's not listening to you then you need to go to an adult who can take care of the matter. She probably thinks she doesn't have to listen to you because you are her age and did the same things she's doing. But if her parents are on her case, she's more likely to listen. You've got the power here to really help her. Don't waste it.

If you are having doubts and feeling bad about it, maybe thats a sign that you shouldn't do it. Ask yourself why you are really doing this. Is it just because other people are? Is it just to find out what the big deal is? In my opinion those are not very good reasons. If you don't feel it is right, then you should listen to your heart and not go along with it. Like you, I've seen what drugs can do to people. I'm sure its not something you want to go through. For people who say its just one time, one can easily become two, three, etc. The best way to avoid a problem is to never put yourself in a position to have that problem. And there are plenty of better ways to have fun and feel good.

The rude people you mentioned tend to be loud and in your face, you can't help but notice them and pay at least some attention to them. But its the quiter ways that usually have the most interesting things too say. People like that aren't noticed as much which makes it more special when they are noticed. It can be annoying and get lonely, I've been there. You want people to notice you but you never feel you get the attention you deserve. Don't worry about it. The way I look at it, its not the number of friends you have it's the quality of friends. I would rather have one true friend who truly appreciates me than a hundred friends who don't really know me that well. I have the feeling you are prettier and more interesting than you think. Don't worry about getting everyone to talk to you, concentrate on a few people who you think you have something in common with and try to get to know them. And if you want someone to chat to, I'll show some interest. I also feel like I go unnoticed and that I'm not good at making friends.

If you are not happy then maybe that's your hearts way of telling you that the relationship just isn't working. Sometimes there isn't any major problem that ends a relationship. Instead the spark that you had sort of goes away. If you were meant to be together you wouldn't be feeling unhappy. If there is no problem that you can think of then maybe it's just that you don't feel that spark anymore. Maybe you two need to find away to reignite that spark. Or maybe the two of you are better off as just friends?

I agree, rumors are simply rumors. There may be absolutely no truth to them. If they are false then imagine what she must be feeling having everyone be mean to her and call her names. I'd want to be the one who looks past what others say and get to know the real her. I'd also want to comfort her and show her that she shouldn't listen to all the jerks, that she's a great girl who deserves respect, respect that I'd give her. And even if she did do something to earn that reputation, that doesn't mean she wants to stay like that forever. If we like each other than I would give her a chance. I'd let her know that I don't approve of that attitude and try to convince her that she's better than it. If she doesn't listen to me and keeps up with that behavior then I won't stay with her. I'll know that I tried and it wasn't right. But I'll have made up my own mind and wouldn't have let someone else make my mind up for me.

Yeah, he sounds like a jerk and a player. He was going out with you put tried to get together with her even when he said she "had her chance." Then he expects her to pick him up? Sounds like he isn't interesting in anything serious and you are better off without him. As for why you are attracted to him, you said it yourself: "He's cute,sexy and seductive." He is charming and knows how to get what he wants. He plays up those seduction skills to his advantage. But you were smart enough not to fall for his tricks and see him for what he really is. You stayed true to your friend. You need to be able to tell when a guy is being sincere and when its just a ploy to get you to like him. You seem to have good instincts, keep it up.

The horses does sound romantic. It's something memorable and personal. Also, try to think about a really special moment you shared. When did you first realize that you loved her and would consider spending the rest of your life with her? Try to recreate that moment and let her know how much it meant to you.

One more thing, don't look at the trophy as being soiled and your getting whats leftover. Look at it as you are the one who is going to care for the trophy and return it to the prestige and splendor that it once was and should have remained. Look at it as you are the one who is going to show it the respect and care it deserves. It doesn't matter if the women has more experience. For one thing, those experiences may not have been good experiences. Also, all of that is in the past, it doesn't matter. What really matters is the new experiences you create together.

lonelynshy, The point is that you finished the race. You struggled against overwhelming odds, endured all the pain and anguish, and felt like giving up. But you didn't give up. You pushed on, shrugged off the pain and kept fighting until the end. Someone who endures all that will enjoy the trophy more because he had to earn it. Someone who gets everthing easily doesn't appreciate it as much because the didn't have to struggle and earn it. There are people who enter marathons who know they'll never finish at the front of the pack, but are happy just knowing they tried and finished at all. It's not who finshes first, its who finishes best. And I sincerely believe that those who wait for love and endure the struggles and heartache, will appreciate the love they find even more. That love will be worth all the hurt, all the tears, all the lonliness. Hey, I'm almost 22 and have never come close to a relationship, real or internet. No kiss, no date, nothing. It's hard and frustrating but you have to keep hope that things will happen when the time is right. And I know that when I do find someone, I won't take things for granted and the relationship will be special and magical.

If she has a big exam than its understandable she doesn't want to go out. Wait until after the exam. Take her out for coffee or dinner afterwards to celebrate getting that pesky test out of the way. Maybe you could offer to help her study? Then you will be spending time with her and be doing something nice and thoughtful to help her out.

DivineNess, It's companionship with someone we have feelings for. The desire for companionship is what drives us to seek out a relationship, but its the connection with and feelings for someone that is the reason we choose one person and not someone else. Your right, you shouldn't go out with someone just to have someone. That's not right and not fair to the other person. It also won't lead to a lasting relationship.

If you love the person you will feel happy for her. You'll see her success as a good thing and be proud of all she's accomplished. Love is wanting to let your partner "flutter there wings and fly." You'll want her to be as successful and happy as she can be. And look at it this way, you probably are playing a role in her success. There will be times when she gets tired and tired of her work, where she'll wonder if its all worth it. By being there for her, loving her and supporting her, you will be making her feel better about herself and be giving her the strength to keep on working and doing the good job she is doing. I agree with the idea that males are often raised with the idea of needing to be the man of the house and wearing the pants in the family. They think they have to be the successful one who makes the most money and supports the woman. I like the sentiment of being the provider but think its unrealistic. In today's world couples usually need both members to help out. Woman are making ground in the workplace and are becoming quite successful. That's a good thing. You shouldn't let you own securities get in the way of your relationship. Feel good about how successful she is and know that you are contributing as well. Relationships are partnerships, both members play a role.

People want a relationship for companionship and understanding. None of us wants to feel alone in our lives. So we search for someone who can make us feel complete, someone who cares about us and understands us. We want someone to share in our triumphs and cheer us up when we are down. We want someone with whom we share an emotional and spiritual bond. We want someone we can love. Sex comes into play because it is a declaration of that love, a bonding of two people on a physical, emotional, and hopefully spiritual level. Sex should be a product of the love and relationship, not the primary reason for a relationship. There are people, both guys and girls who are looking for sex. But they won't have a fulfilling relationship. Those who focus on the emotions involved are better off and on the right track.