TheDoctor

Rama, WOW. Me and you came from the EXACT situation with everyone saying," Well, its just talking to the ex." But its alot more than that. First off I went through such a similair thing actually it was exact so basically I was in your situation except she broke it 2 times instead of 3. And each time she cried so hard claiming shed never do it again and many people told me its just talking to the ex no biggie. But let me tell you what happened. She went behind my back around last September and spoke to him online and I found out from him and he tried to tell me just so Id leave her and I was in shock me and her both were. Then instead of taking time off so I can make my decision I rushed into it and went ehh its not serious grounds for breakup and guess what Rama? I completley UNDERESTIMATED the reality of once trust is broke ITS BROKEN until someone they can fix it which they usually cant. I wish if I could have changed anything it would have been to left her there and then cuz clearly she had feelings for her ex and was in this relationship but it was unfair for me because I always had him swimming like a shark around us. And Rama I tried EVERYTHING to get this girl to stop talking to her ex I even said go ahead and talk to him hoping shed talk and see hes nothing special. And guess what Rama? That day I didnt breakup with her came back to haunt me and it blew up in my face and I dealt with a much harder breakup than I could have ever imagined. Oh yeah and guess what....now that me and her broke up shes back with her ex. Dont underestimate the power of broken trust. It will haunt you....picture her saying shes going out with friends and your home alone...believe me after that I never could trust her again and I know you probably wont either. Sit down and ask yourself....should I go now or enjoy 5-6 more months then have a tidal wave hit me? I say take the wave now and get a little hurt because it sure as HELL beats the tidal wave that I guarantee is coming because afterall...this girl is capable of saying I swear I wont talk to him again but she has broke your trust 3 times...what makes her trustworthy on anything anymore? Leave now brother and its totally normal to be scared

Not really itensail, after my like first few dates when I saw that this girl liked me alot I would bring up topics like I wanted to kiss you but I hugged you instead we'll do it when it feels really right at the right moment and she said she wanted me to kiss her! But you dont have to approach it like that....look she is saying that in person they hit it off and clearly like eachother but online they are shy. Im thinking once you know someone is interested and is flirting its over now have fun and just say what you'd never dream of saying to someone...be honest and say things that you'd want to keep inside of you like I wanted you to kiss me today really bad, or I was thinking of you all day...that honesty and affection will make that person fall for you.

Hmmm...with me I usually talk about like the date the other day and how they were feeling and when we should kiss and stuff like that...for example with my ex after our 1st date I was like," So, did you have fun today?" " Did you want me to kiss u?"

Wow this is so strange.....you have the guts and chemistry to do it in person but not online? Online is alot easier because your not on screen....lol just talk on the phone then duh

Thanks alot for everything..I'll go for it and keep you posted...lastly if you can IF you can what makes you pretty confident she likes me? What part?

thanks alot man...but what makes u pretty confident she likes me if you dont mind me asking? Other than the obvious....

What were your favorite break up songs that helped you get over it? My top 3 1- Fade by Staind 2- Burn by Usher 3- Prelude 3.0 by Slipknot And of course the number 1 automatically is I will survive by Gloria Gaynor...but I didnt feel that would be original to mention lol

Bro, seriously I broke up with my ex 3 days before her birthday and I didnt even go back via phone or IM to say happy birthday. I felt it is in her best wishes to return to her ex ( which she did) and get it out of her system once and for all so that this guy could do what he does best and just sleep with her and leave her and play more and more mnd games and maybe just maybe she could really realize what a HUGE loser that guy is and change not for me but for herself. I dont care if she cried because I wasnt "there" for her on her birthday. I dont care if she said," If he really loved me he'd be here"...I dont care I spent her birthday returning her gifts as did my family and canceling the reservations to dinner. It hurt that we couldnt have had a good time on such a good day but I cant say that it wasnt in the best interest for her as well....If I didnt leave it would never change and we'd be stuck in a rut with her wondering what if she returned to her ex...and that wasnt fair to me

Any other opinions? I'm gonna go for this girl anyway as I hardly ever back down from asking a girl out that im interested in especially at this rate but Id just like to know if these signs are legit or not...please help

So you definitley think theres a high chance she likes me? I should definitley go for it but the problem is shes hard to approach cuz she hardly gives a chance for me to talk...hmmm I should just talk to her

but whats up with the ignoring?

Hey guys, I just got out of a year and a half relationship and I've always sorta had my eye on this girl shes a trainer at our gym. And I'd just like to know what all these signs mean! First day she ever got the job and she was touring around the workplace she was like 5 ft infront of me and she gave me a crazy checkout! That was nearly 8 months ago. Now since then she has done a couple of things and I'll give you the details but before I do you must understand when I say female trainer dont invision some blonde bombshell with a gorgeous body. This girl is a very unique styled girl and cute but not gorgeous as a matter of fact not many guys check her out. I just like her cause she carries herself very well and her smile is a huge turn on and just overall how shes always happy or so she seems but heres what shes done; 1- I have caught her eyeing me secretley through the many mirrors we have at the gym, 2- When she was trying to train some girls one of her clients nearly barely tapped my cousin during a workout and she turned to me without looking into my eyes and said oh im sorry are my clients harassing you? ( as a joke) and I was like no its ok and she laughed which is weird because I wasnt being funny, and two recentley I was leaving the gym my cousin said dude your right that trainer girl eyes you like crazy she gave you a HUGE look. I even saw the look it was like her head was down and her eyes were lurking up at me. Now heres the thing, she often ignores me too....like the other day I was walking into the gym and she saw me and no checkouts, or infact she ignores me. So Im a bit confused here.....what do I do? Its very hard to approach her since shes a trainer.....In general, shes on and off signs but more ignoring than focusing but every once in a while she does it. So, please give me advice on what you think...be straight up

Any comments will be appreciated......

And Oxygen, please remember I went through this same thing when I was dating my ex. The exact same thing. She spoke to her ex behind my back and I wanted to breakup and she had commitment issues...and guess what happened? I wanted her back and I didnt feel like it was soooo bad that I needed to breakup so I took her back and all was well until 6 months later that day came back to haunt me and blew up in my face...now Im forced to go through a much much harder breakup with a broken heart and at one point a broken mind...leave now before it becomes a huge thing. I cant express this enough when I say take the wave now before it becomes a tidal wave! I know how it felt for me...I kept saying ahhh its ok no big deal i dont wanna go through pain over something that can be worked out. But in reality I was stalling and the tidal wave came and guess what? She never got over her ex....I know its different but imagine you fall for this guy like crazy 8 months down the road and he keeps doing this again and again and again. Your gonna feel like your not good enough for him and your gonna want him sooo bad and its gonna hurt very bad when you get rejected. But its just that the guys got commitment issues as Asia said

He'll come back? He's treating you like a coat that he can take out once in a while. Your better than that....

It's real simple...the next time he does that go OWWWW that hurts when you do that babe....and I guarantee hell never do it again

What else can that mean? It's simple...his on and off breaks are just too much too handle. He is clearly displaying he isnt ready for a relationship

Honestly, it seems like it's best for your mental wellbeing to leave because its a huge game. He isnt ready and believe me when they arent ready its better to leave now and take a small blow as compared to a gigantic blow in the end...oh wow how I wish someone told me these words a year and a half ago.

Thanks Earthfairy

Most of you already know my story. I was with my ex for 1 1/2 years and she was head over heels for me and whenever Id breakup with her shed cry like a child and beg for a second chance. Then eventually she noticed I never really did officially breakup and she stopped biting the bait. Slowly, one day she saw I crumbled when she said lets breakup and she began to abuse it! Then of course the story you all know that she never ot over her ex and she claimed she loved me and wanted to marry me. She was one notch above obsessed with me and use to claim that she'd die without me. Infact, 1 month before we broke up she claimed," I could never do as good as you ever again." She and her friends know that this is true. Now, we broke up because I let her talk to her ex on the internet and Im sure her feelings opened up even more and she had doubts. We got into a fight and she was the breakup enforcer. Since the breakup she has blocked me and ALL my friends online 2 weeks after the breakup ( which doesnt make sense considering no one imed her or contacted her), she is also signed onto 2 accounts at once according to a friend and monitoring my activities, she has made a website profile where she praises our breakup and then a few days later talks very dwellingly about life and how she needs to stop dwelling on the past and worrying about the future then a few days later claims shes "busting a mariah carrey" aka going crazy whatever that means. I stopped readin her site so I could get over it then the funniest blow of them all she is apparentley back with her ex and my cousin is her ex's neighbor so she flaunted her car as if to say LOOK AT ME because I took a friend of hers on a date thats not even A FRIEND ANYMORE!!!....its been 2 months of no contact. Has this girl forgotten me? Is she just not dealing with it? Will she ever come back just for a little talk? Im so disappointed in who she has become. Im beggining to feel like shell never come back to say hey thanks for everything have a nice life. People to say I was the best boyfriend in the world to her is the biggest understatment ever!!! 3 vacations, 3 Disneyland vacations, 500 dollar Christmas gifts from the family, everything she wanted...and after all that I GOT TRADED IN FOR A GUY SHE HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH FOR 2 WEEKS?!!!!!!!!!! So sad...and Im only 19. What you all think?

First off, I am so sorry. I went through pretty much a very similair situation except my ex never admitted she still had feelings for her ex. I had to figure it out on my own and she left me and is holding a childish grudge out of stupidity and she never offered friendship. I was am very hurt and I am learning to move on. In your situation, I say to hell with him. It's as simple as this > One day he will realize what a great thing he lost out of you but by then youll be moved on

That boy-e I went through the same thing bro! Its so crazy how they get like that? Hey Id like to send you a private message but I dont know how boy-e....can you tell me how or what your aim or msn is?

Im going through exactly what you are going through now. After 1 1/2 yrs in a relationship my girl turned from obsessed with me to confused and lost. And I realized when that side of them is exposed...its exposed. I read this book called the power of now by Eckhart Tolle and it defines that situation like this," We get into relationships to avoid problems and we get into relationships as a salvation. The euphoria is there at first during the "in love" or "puppy love" phase. However, when it wears off and the momentary euphoria fades off the mate is left angry at the other mate because they feel as if they took it away and that they are in the wrong place. Then all the problems come back that they had before the relationship but this time even worst as they feel they are wasting time just waiting and sitting around." I dont know what to say other than when it hit me that she wasnt the same I cried and cried and cried and wanted to die.....but we broke up and I was SOOOOO INTIMIDATED. I didnt think id make it. But guess what? I made it, Im happy, I see from a clear mind now....and im happy its over. Buddy, you were the better mate so let them suffer.

Well Muneca...as the person who was offended I dont thrive on misery but im happy to see she was scum just like I thought she was...thats all

thanks alot moneca! I made a post for you to read on this forum