TheDoctor

Exactly, not being too attatched and not askin for reassurance from a woman has gotten me so far.

haha mix master and I love the fact that the girls that play the most games go out of their way to say," I hate games." Always remember thats like the obvious way of a girl saying I play so much of them Im getting tired of it. Also, have you noticed how much women supposedly hate on eachother and say," All girls are stupid" I dunno maybe its the party scene im going to. But im not looking for any1 from there. But you raised a good point that got me thinking, I know if you dont break from a girls game theyll love you so much for it but the sad part is the entire relationship becomes 1 big opportunity for games . Ive dated a girl like that who kinda played games, I kept my cool, she then broke and we went out she talked to me like she was inlove. Then eventually she tried to find more weaknesses and exploit it, I would tell her I hate routine changes where you see eachother all the time and then u just stop and she did just that. I had enough and left. True love takes space...good positive space.

Yeah but the right kinda girl wont keep playin games, theyll over look that. I know Ive been in 2 relationships and both of the games were minimal and stopped early on. Its true if you dont break you win but what do you win at the end? A game playing girl, it doesnt stop dont be a fool to think it does.

As far as the whole they party, dont wanna be tied down line goes its true yet false. In their younger 20's women do party and dont wanna be tied down but they use that line because women hide their true selves. If a woman says well im not the kinda party girl im not into that I love reading and just having social gatherings here and there they feel like a guy might see them as lame. Now to a degree we guys put ourselves here cuz we always want a fun girl so ne girl who says they arent puts themselves at risk of bein lame. I havent met 1 girl who has said omg i want a bf cuz a- it seems desperate ( it isnt but it seems like it for girls) and b- women normally have many guys chasin em so they dont wanna make promises. Heres the game to a woman. They will tell you they dont want a bf, they dont get attatched easily, they are at a "phase" in their lives that they just wanna find themselves but in reality they are weeding out the crappy guys to get to the good ones. Because lesser experience guys will say ah man whatever bye when an experienced guy goes hmm ok sure sure and stays cool and wins her over

Damn good advice raykay, and all of you I appreciate it. Its just every woman Ive dated it seems they are alllll into hardcore games. All my friends say the same thing, I assume its just the age, the crave for attention.

No im sorry I didnt mean to come off stuck up , I just wanted the reader to know its not a looks thing or inexperience thing. Ive had 2 relationships one for 2 years the other for a year. I dont put myself above the girls, infact I stated that i was a total sweetheart and I still am but I just dont put the work I use to. i dont expect girls to love me but the ones i put effort into and they put it back i dont get why it turns into a game eventually....women r just like that

Hi, thanks for reading my post. I been a user here for a while but this is my first post in the finding love and soulmate forum. Lemme first give you an insight on myself from the biased perspective of myself. I'm 21, I use to model when I was younger ( pretty boy), intelligent, caring, positive person. My story is simple yet very educational for those who are in the dating game especially for men. I have been single for a little over a year now. I started, dating about 1 month after I broke up with my ex. I have dated ( I actually counted for this post) 26 women in this past year ( KRIKEY! thats alot of estrogen). My results have been mixed but educational. For the first few months I was dating 3 girls. I was oh so very innocent then, seems like a life time ago. My character at that time was the way I was sculpted by my sister, my ex gf, and most importantly my past experiences. I was very respectful to girls, very much so the kind of guy who naturally cared about girls, NOT soft, but definitley wanted to see the beauty in someone more than sex. I rejected sex about 2 times with a girl and it seemed like they didnt like it so they stopped talking to me. A few months later I molded myself a little differentley so naturally my approach changed. I was the deep talking, almost psychiatrist like guy who had a good charm. This phase made every girl I met fall for me but they were all so scared of a relationship that they wanted to take things super slow. I didnt even approach it as a relationship but they were so scared they wanted to becareful. A few months pass and I started dating this girl who I really like, she and I go out and she tells me she likes me so much. It seems like I finally found a good girl. She tells me how much she likes me and 1 day I turn around and tell her I like you alot too. Guess what? Right after that she played games with me cuz now she knew that I was infatuated with her and she stopped calling that weekend then called me back acting like nothing happened. I acted casual I dont jump to conclusions, then she tells me she just sees me and her as dating no potential for a relationship, then the next day she says she can see us as a couple. It didnt make sense, even worst I didnt even ask her if she saw us as anything, basically playing games. As of today, Im dating a girl who is the closest thing Ive had to a relationship since my ex. But I see no future with her, she goes to clubs ALOT, and 1 day she acts like she lieks me alot then she wont call for 2 days I dunno, Im not doing this anymore. Can some of you ladies please tell me whats going on here? Im the kinda person every guy and their brother asks me for advice about girls. I always get alot of girls but I know love works in mysterious ways. Im not forcing it to happen but its just odd it hasnt already taken its course in 1 year.....can some of you old timers gimme some needed advice here? Thanks

Yes I have seen a picture, I find her attractive and she is too. I think she can either be insecure about meetin me in person or shes just not interested for whatever reason as hard as that is to believe. I think Ill have a talk with her tonight and just lay it all down on the line....whatever happens happens ill let you guys know tonight.

Anything is possible, I dont know if she met someone else or not. Shes not the kinda girl who stops seeing someone just because she met someone else. She'd still come out and chill with me but that could def. be the case. Either way Im pretty hurt about this I dunno why either.

Hello there guys, It's good to be posting in the dating forum for a change and not the break up forum. Anyway, I just wanna say Ive been dating for a while now and ive met alot of good girls and bad ones. Recentley, about 2 months ago I met this girl from the internet. Im 20 shes 17 1/2 or so. Normally, that turns me off alot but this girl and I were just talking at first but we were also interested. At first, it was just talking not much. Every night we'd talk on the phone for a few hours and what not. So one night Im out with friends far from my home town and she says shes down around my area and come by if I have time I said im with friends sorry no big deal. Then, after that me and her talked some more. She really impressed me about alot of things. Her character, her affection, her overall self was amazingly good. I turned around and told her I like her alot, thats never happened to me on the internet, that I have a crush on her basically which Ive never had in my life over an internet girl I havent even met. She turns around and says she felt the same way, that Im an amazing guy, that she feels the exact same way overall. Anyway, the next day she seemed happy as can be about it, she would text me saying she missed me all the time and we had a good convo. She told me she had a dream about how she met new guys and she rejected them for me. The next night, everything changed or so I assume. She was studying for finals that weekend and she told me shed be busy. I called her that night and I said hey to her and she was at a party. I said go have fun she asked me to call in an hour. I called her again it was 2 am and she was still out somewhere and I just said Id call her tomorrow gnite. Then, the next day I called and she didnt pick up. She was busy, I called again she finally picked up and we talked and she said shes with her cousin ( I could hear her in the back ). We talked for a few and for lack of better things I asked her so do you really reject guys for me in person ( she had told me 1 time earlier that she had) and this time she said well sorta I do but...oh yeah can you call me later. I said ok, I called her later she never answered and didnt show up online. Anyway, the next day I called her and talked to her. I felt like I was kinda losing her because she was distancing herself alot. I spoke to her and told her she doesnt have to do that whole rejectin guys for me thing. She can go out with other guys shes a very special girl I dont feel like its all said and done with me and her and shes not mine yet no matter how much I want her to be. The thing is she would tell me all the time as well go out with that girl dont say no for me. Anyway, after that it went weird. We'd still talk as much but she seemed very distant. I finally had a talk with her last wed and she was supposed to finally meet me and she said she had a paper due and she looked terrible cuz she hadn't slept all night. I said ok, I had a convo with her and asked why all this went so wrong? And she said it hasnt dont worry Ive just been tired, but shes upest that I told her to go see other guys was I tryin to say dont get your hopes up? I told her no and we had it straightened out a bit. Since then we talk more and all is well but then I said lets meet up sunday. She said ok, when Sunday came around she said her car wasnt with her. I said Ill drive she said no its ok its raining dont get hurt. I got upset, I finally confronted her at night and said whats up with you? I didnt come on strong about it just said its sad what did I do wrong or what didnt I do right? She said honestly ( and she brought it up again as if we never talked about it in the 1st place) the fact you told me to go see other guys were you tryin to say dont get your hopes up? I said no hun I explained it to her and I got her acting like her old self. I called her that night and we were back to our old selves. Thats pretty much it up to now, we havent been talking as much but she just got a new job so Im sure shes tired and what not. I now have strong feelings for a girl I havent even met which is so not my style. I know were both attracted to eachother but why wont she meet me? Im pretty disappointed in this situation and hurt. I made a mistake in getting my hopes up about this girl but we had somethin special as silly as that sounds. We were there for eachother and Im still there for her but I just dont get what has happened. Clearly,now that she has to meet me something has struck a nerve and shes scared. Whats gonna happen here?

This is actually not very true, Im a former model for Quicksilver and I am on the attractive side. I get alot of attention from women but I have absolutley no luck finding the kind of girl I want. Yes, life is better on the attractive side but there are its downfalls. Alot of guys want to hang out with me so they can meet girls and they are weird fellas, its also bad because alot of girls feel intimidated and throw me into the "arrogant" side just because I look good. Ive been told Im arrogant by girls that havent ever met me and all because of how I look. And they all admit that good looking people in general make them feel insecure so they stay away from them. So really, getting what you want is in the hand of the beholder.

Yes he is married, so it wasnt about that, sorry for not stating that earlier I just didnt think anyone would assume that. Any other thoughts from the ladies perhaps?

any more advice will be highly appreciated

Hmmm, well shes got a bf and in my opinion I think it's a classic case of "fantasy play". Most of us do it but we stop early, I just think she played along with it and it kinda blew up when I asked her to chill. The fact she has a boyfriend and even was making herself somewhat available is trashy to me anyway. Dont you agree? Would you want the love of your life making guys all around work interested in her?

Well id agree with that and its pretty good thinking, but 90% of that story took place way after I got a trainer. And infact, 1 of the most big ice breakers she used to talk to me was hows the training and go tell your trainer this, that, etc. It wasnt like she stopped after I got him, most of it happened well after I had my trainer. And why would she talk to me about her personal life and mine if thats the case for so long?

No man, you got the story totally wrong. Sorry, lol. My trainer and I are good friends and he is married.

Hey guys, this is my first post here in like 5 months! No news is good news when it comes to this forum eh? LOL, jk. Anywho, you guys might remember I posted here about a situation and I was just wondering if I could get advice. I'll explain it all here ( LONG STORY SHORT ): After 2 of my friends told me that they have noticed one of the trainer girls at the gym constantly looked at me I began to wonder if she was interested. They told me she gives alot of looks and I had noticed them as well. Anyway, finally one day I told my friends I'd talk to her. So I went to the gym and as I was purchasing gloves I noticed she was next to the cashier. And as I purchased them I asked for black ones from the guy and he said they only come in white, then I said ok. As the man went on to process my card she came up to me and her first words to me ever were something like why dont I color them pink for you, hot pink with a highlighter? You want them in pink? Im like ughhh no that'd get my butt kicked. She's like ah cmon and I sensed alot of flirtation ( it was kinda obvious flirtation). A few days later I went back to the gym to get a new trainer for myself. And I was talking to the guy and he was helping me out. I picked my trainer named Ronald and I saw her sitting down on a treadmill watching a football game. I went up and spoke to her and I was clearly flirting with her. I was like so your the pink highlighter girl eh? And she responded, then I said you know what this football team needs to win? You and me. She laughed alot, etc. And she introduced herself to me and asked me why I didnt get her as a trainer, etc etc. Anyway, as our convo progressed one of her worker friends came along and she stopped flirting, at that time I was assuming it was because she didnt want her coworker to sense her flirtation. So I left, a few days passed by and I kept experiencing convos with her. We kept talking, etc etc. And actually 1 time I was talking to a trainer and I saw her looking deep at me and I totally caught her staring my way, and she approached me immediatley and said howr u. It came to a point where everyday I'd go there she'd tell me hi, how have I been, etc etc. And she was genuinley interested in talking. Finally one day she said she was going on a trip and she had to leave tonight. I said goodbye, but as I was leaving I said lets just go for it, I went up and talked to her and the second I approached her her eyes glared up like she knew what was coming I just simply said would you like to chill after work? She's like, i told you im busy. I was like ...... So I said ok and left. Well, I was totally clueless as to why she said no because I wasnt even super interested in her just thought she wanted to get to know me and she was a cool girl and I had just come out of a relationship. Anyway long story short LOL, the next few days she still said hi and we spoke but I talked to my trainer Ron and he told me that coworker friend of hers was her boyfriend. A very very unattractive man if I might add. Shes a trainer and hes a receptionist and very unattractive trust me lol. But hes a good guy. Anyway, she was still talking to me until my trainer mentioned to her infront of me," How's your boyfriend" She was like, ehhhh she just walked away. This happened on 1 other occasion where he just asked her I saw your boyfriend the other day and she literally just walked away without responding. My trainer was like uhhm...I guess she's not in the mood to talk. And pretty much after that she stopped talking to me after she found out that I knew. We havent spoken since except for a few days ago I walked in and she was ID'ing people to get in like all gyms and I took mine out shes like oh yeah like I really need to see that. So I mean shes not totally acting odd, shes being cool but kinda quiet. Anyway, her boyfriend got transfered and now it was kind of a cool experience because most of us learn from these things in life. And I was just wondering what you all think happened. Im pretty damn good at knowing when a girl likes me or not, Ive never been wrong in my entire life and I dont know how wrong I was here. So I'd appreciate anyones feedback on what happened. Especially from the ladies who are pretty knowledgeable about all this. Thanks for reading a very long short story.

Just be the bigger person, who cares if its embaressing. Look at how mine went, she asked to see me and she was competley mature about it because she sensed my maturity. I dont care if im still thinking about it. If you never talk to someone ever after a sudden breakup and you truly loved them you cant just forget. I got over the love thing but I cant forget and she admitted she couldnt either. I respect what you say but if your confident and strong enough those things bounce off you.

Keep your head up man, you'll be in my prayers.

I want to say yes for sure....I'll say this Im very confident I wont. Now I know your giving me a raised eyebrow but look its a very true saying. Let things be, dont beat yourself up and make standards. When we make standards we let ourselves have such a hard time. All I know is when its over its over and we can never have what we once did. Im not gonna try to get her back. But lets just say somehow I see her, and feelings open up, and she has truly matured and somehow I end up with her. Im not gonna beat myself up. But Im almost certain that I wont let it get that far because those feelings died for me a long time ago.

Im thinking about it. I gotta let time do its thing to me. Im seriously a very normal, happy, strong person. Its like I said, I wanted to go talk to her because Im ready for anything and Im only 20! And I was with her since I was 17 1/2 and I just needed to let her know that I havent forgotten about her. Theres a little saying I love and this is why I went back to her," We can all assume situations in life, we can make false realities to actions we havent even taken, we can warn ourselves that these things arent healthy for us to do to go back or to progress, but until we havent taken that chance and risk, we know absoultey nothing of its consequences." Thats why I went back. You see tiger, and bubbles, I went back because alot of questions were bothering me like after being so close for so long why shed be so mad at me, or is she mad at me at all? Can we be friends? Hows life been for you since and do you realize you really put me in a bad state of mind and was there anything I could have done to have made your state of mind better? Now that she answered those questions I feel much better! I know in my heart this was a good decision, maybe I will go get coffee......maybe. When I said no yesterday you must understand I was overwhelmed by her even asking to go for it. Im pretty happy how this story has played out.

No your definitley right Brianna, I do have feelings or else I wouldnt go back. Almost everyone I know talked to their ex's after a breakup. Im no different...infact when I told people we havent spoken since I walked out their jaws dropped. I just needed to ask her some questions and see if we can be friends.

I dont have any psychological problems. All that happened was after 6 months I had questions. You need to walk a mile in a mans shoes before you can judge or assume anything such as Im a "sadistic" person and I loath in her pain. But the reality isnt that I went back because Im not over her, I went back to talk because Im strong enough now to discuss it like normal, mature adults. I just wanted to understand why we had to breakup. You see Tiger and Bubbles we never even talked about why we had to breakup we just got into a fight and let it go. Now that we have both moved on why not go back and just say hey how have things been? What is the crime in just a little friendly conversation? And btw, I didnt go see a psychologist or anything I just went to 1 session with a relationship therapist who I wanted to ASK what to do in my situation. And thats what he told me he said exactly this, " You are over her, you are ready to hear anything. So, what do you have to lose if yo go back and talk to her? I think as long as you ignore her you'll never get over her the way you'd like to because your neglecting the situation. You must go back to get your closure because that is what you clearly need." If he didnt say that I was ready to never go back again. Again, Im not attacking anyone I apologize if I seemed insensitive. Its just alot of this is overwhelming and the last thing I need is somebody who doesnt even really know me to give harsh criticism by calling me a sadist. But lets let that go, I love this forum and all the advice that I have been given is worth alot to me. I cherish it, thank you all. And Tiger, Im not a defensive person. I actually took light into what you said and sat down and thought about it and came to a conclusion that im confident I still dont want her back. So many people still talk to exs from ages ago. Theres no difference here. Why should I be any different?

Its funny you say that considering I saw a relationship therapist and he was the one who recommended I go talk to her and face my fears about it. I told him I never want to speak to her again and I was scared to open doors that are closed now, that I want to move on and he said I can never move on only adjust and thats not something he recommends that everyone should atleast attempt closure. He was the one who said he's very confident that I dont want her back and its just Im having a hard time moving on without closure. I'll take the professionals word over yours anytime.

Im not basking in her pain.....Im simply delighted to have talked and been given the response I was as compared to the response of what I anticipated which was just ranting and her coming down on me and breaking me as many of you posters thought. Im not rubbing it in, why would I? Most of you wished me luck and I thank you dearly for that blessing. Oh and BTW, my "questions" I had were why did you hold such a grudge and never talk to me again which led her into responding the way she did. My questions were my closure.