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Thread: Not sure if this girl is too full-on

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She and you are not on the same wavelength. I think the longer you keep this up the more she'll be making a fool of herself and the more surprised you'll be by her behaviours. Be kind to each other and let her go.

    Your original question was whether or not to tell her the reason and I don't think you have to. There are a lot of negatives meeting someone on a dating app but one of the positives is the electronic and more modern ways of communication which is via text message. Poor etiquette overall or insecurities aren't a good sign. I think going any deeper than this is not necessary. Keep your momentum going. The point is to meet like-minded individuals. You don't have to be birds of a feather or clones but there should be basic commonalities.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    Well the thing is without coronavirus it's not actually always possible to reply to texts immediately. Normally people might be busy doing something. Work, study, spending time with people. I think if you're catching up with family or friends, you shouldn't just be on your phone because it's actually rude. Like, if you're having a coffee with a friend and you keep pulling your phone out and texting, it's bad manners. So I just reply to people when I actually can reply. I was both working and studying so I was a lot busier before. Now my course has finished and I'm in quarantine, so I am actually pretty free now. But otherwise I was a fairly busy person.
    I only respond to texts/calls if I am out with someone else if it's urgent and if at all possible I tell the person I am with in advance that I might have to take a call or respond. I think unless you're 100% enthusiastic about meeting in person, let her go.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I only respond to texts/calls if I am out with someone else if it's urgent and if at all possible I tell the person I am with in advance that I might have to take a call or respond. I think unless you're 100% enthusiastic about meeting in person, let her go.
    Personally I find it kinda rude and annoying when I'm with someone and they keep texting on their phone. I guess sending a quick text to say "Sorry I'm busy, I'll message you later" is OK. It's a thoughtful thing to do but I also think not necessary to say "Sorry I'm busy right now" because it's kind of implied that you probably are busy if you haven't responded. Then you can just respond as soon as you can. If someone hasn't responded for more than a day then yeah maybe that's a bit rude. I'm happy to wait for people to reply later that day, or the next day.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    Personally I find it kinda rude and annoying when I'm with someone and they keep texting on their phone. I guess sending a quick text to say "Sorry I'm busy, I'll message you later" is OK. It's a thoughtful thing to do but I also think not necessary to say "Sorry I'm busy right now" because it's kind of implied that you probably are busy if you haven't responded. Then you can just respond as soon as you can. If someone hasn't responded for more than a day then yeah maybe that's a bit rude. I'm happy to wait for people to reply later that day, or the next day.
    I don't like being interrupted if I'm talking unless it's for an urgent text. I stopped calling a certain friend on the phone because she would put me on hold constantly for non-urgent situations - more than once in the space of less than ten minutes. My sort of last straw was when she interrupted me mid sentence because her adult daughter had a question about whether her mac and cheese in the fridge would be fresh after a few days. I put my phone completely away when I am with someone unless I know I will need to respond (like I tell friends 'I have to check to make sure it's not the school calling")

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Realitynut's Avatar
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    LOL...i didn't know that you weren't suppose to text again, if the person hadn't answered. I'm a long winded person, in writing, and verbage! lol. Sometimes I'll text a bunch....send....then remember something else I wanted to say. Or....when I had an actually bf, Anytime during the day, if I thought of something I wanted to tell him...I just told him. By text. I didn't expect a reply right away. That's why I like text, they can respond anytime they want. Even if I've sent 3 texts...not of course saying...hey, what's up....why aren't you responding!??? I have a feeling your new friend was excited about your virtual chat, and probably doesn't get a lot of opportunities to meet people. She's not busy online gaming...just sitting home with dear old dad.

    So....if her texting style drives you nuts now, it will really drive you nuts as time goes on. I would just tell her, I'm not on my phone all the time, and I prefer only short texts. And see what she does. She's asking all these questions, because that is what you are 'told' to do....ask questions to let them know you are interested. I would say, ya know, I really liked our chat, but I like things to evolve a little slower.

    Good luck......oh. I was on a pof site...(see??? another text) and I wrote a bunch to a guy who wrote to me first. He then responded...I think you talk to much for me! ugh.

  7. #26
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    She feels lonely and probably she feels more connected to you even though its early days for you both.
    Call instead of text for few days and see how it goes, else it will all become whats app, texts, the accompanying expectations of getting a reply soon etc etc.
    if you want to take this slow might as well talk one on one be clear about it.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Realitynut
    LOL...i didn't know that you weren't suppose to text again, if the person hadn't answered. I'm a long winded person, in writing, and verbage! lol. Sometimes I'll text a bunch....send....then remember something else I wanted to say. Or....when I had an actually bf, Anytime during the day, if I thought of something I wanted to tell him...I just told him. By text. I didn't expect a reply right away. That's why I like text, they can respond anytime they want. Even if I've sent 3 texts...not of course saying...hey, what's up....why aren't you responding!??? I have a feeling your new friend was excited about your virtual chat, and probably doesn't get a lot of opportunities to meet people. She's not busy online gaming...just sitting home with dear old dad.

    So....if her texting style drives you nuts now, it will really drive you nuts as time goes on. I would just tell her, I'm not on my phone all the time, and I prefer only short texts. And see what she does. She's asking all these questions, because that is what you are 'told' to do....ask questions to let them know you are interested. I would say, ya know, I really liked our chat, but I like things to evolve a little slower.

    Good luck......oh. I was on a pof site...(see??? another text) and I wrote a bunch to a guy who wrote to me first. He then responded...I think you talk to much for me! ugh.
    Actually what I meant about not sending more texts if you got no reply is if you send a text saying: " Are you OK?", something along those lines. Which this girl actually did. To me that's like putting pressure on the person to reply fast and not really respecting that they might be doing something and just a bit busy. If you're sending texts that just continue on from what you're saying, that's fine. E.g. Text 1: "I was at the cafe just now and I just had a really nice caramel slice". Text 2: "Oh and the coffee is great too!"

    I know maybe it sounds like I'm a text police/text Nazi where I expect that people are only allowed to text in a certain style or manner. Of course people are different and not everyone's communication style is identical. I do have experience dating a lot, both male and female. Well female not as much lol I think that at the start of dating it's good to take things slow. You might go on 1-2 dates a week and text a bit maybe every day or every second day. Keep in mind I have not met this woman in person at all. She's texting me really constantly.

    Also last night we had a "movie date" where we watched the same movie together. She said: "Please don't worry if you take your time replying because I know we're watching the movie". Then she proceeded to keep sending more and more messages, without me replying. It's like, why say I can take my time if obviously she wants to keep the char flow really constant? Then she also said let's watch another movie together again in two days. Like if this was in real life you'd have a date, then you'd have another date in only two days, and with really constantly texting as well.

  9. #28
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    To answer your question based on everyoneís replies ......

    Yes she is too full on for some
    No she is not too full on for others

    Is she too full on for you? Thatís the real question and only you can answer it.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    There's some red flags to consider.

  11. #30
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I understand how she is. I am very intense if I like someone. But on the flip side if I donít you donít exist for me.

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