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Thread: How to tell a friend I slept with her ex

  1. #1

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    How to tell a friend I slept with her ex

    So I slept with my best friendís ex boyfriend. He was also my guy best friend at the time it happened. My best friend had broken up with him about two years ago and is now in a happy relationship. Besides, there were no hard feelings between the two of them and they remain friends.

    Me and this guy got drunk last night and it unexpectedly happened. I believe the right thing is to let my friend know, except I donít know how to tell her. Any advice?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Your sex life is your business. He and she were broken up. Only reason to tell her is if you enjoy drama and needlessly hurting friends.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You don't tell her. Why would you?

    Please don't assume that because you would want to know that she would. Don't create unnecessary drama.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    wait a minute... what are you and this guy thinking about this?

    You said he was your guy best friend. Do you plan to start dating?

    While I agree its no one's business. I mean, seriously, its been two years, she is with someone else. It is not a betrayal. But why are you telling her? Just to be honest?

    I'd only tell, if it was going to be a dating situation. And I would not give details greater than that. I don't care who you are to me, you don't need to know my sex life. That is strictly between me and my partner. End of story.

    I don't ask my coupled friends how often they do it or what is happening with them... its a private.

    But if you plan to date, I agree tell her, so she hears it from you. But you certainly don't need permission.

    I have been on both sides of this equation. I have chosen not to date because it was too weird. A guy dated my sister! of all people. ew! And a couple times, my friends got some sloppy seconds, from me. I always rose above it. Let people do what they want and I'm free to do what I want.

    .

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    What would you accomplish by telling her this? I'd view this as not my monkeys, not my circus.

  7. #6
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    I don't see why you would share this.

  8. #7
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    The best time to tell her is never. Itís none of her business. You and him are two adults who decided to sleep together. That is an activity that should be shared by you and him alone. Itís a private matter, which is something Iím sure you already know. Do you tell other people who you sleep with? I presume and hope not. Your friend is no different.

  9. #8
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    Absolutely no need to tell her anything.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    The right thing would have been not to let things "unexpectedly happen". Now that you did, the right thing is to say nothing unless you are planning on dating him. Even then, there would be no need to tell her anything more than that you are seeing each other. There is no point in spelling out the sex part.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    If this was to form into a relationship, then I think it might be something you would mention, 'before they found out through someone else'. But at the moment, you had a sly drunken shag you've probably been wanting to have for a while anyway, so unless it develops further keep it to yourself.

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