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ninjabib

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Everything posted by ninjabib

  1. I wont give her a 3rd chance after todays news. She's had 2.
  2. I've emailed my therapist to see when he's back to work because this has opened a whole new can of worms for me. I do thank you both for challenging me and my thoughts, genuinely. I just want my boy back but i know he's not coming back.
  3. I'm not going to after todays news. I dont know whether i'm sending confusing messages on here. Im going to maintain minimal essential contact. Thats it. When i used to go years without speaking to either parent my life was so much better for me but then she seemed to be trying to change so i thought i would give her a chance as it was better than holding onto bad feelings and memories about it all. I was wrong.
  4. Until todays news for the last 7 or so years she seemed to have changed a great deal and thats why i mentioned in the past my thoughts were to have them all over. Now i know shes still a bully underneath it all i'll just let the kids come.
  5. She told me that she hates all males and always has done since i was a child and that she never wanted me so i dont know what it all means, i gave up trying to figure both parents out a long time ago. She has probably only said it once or twice in the last few years though about hating males so maybe shes seeing the lunacy of her ways.
  6. Well before all this i was going to suggest they all come and stay with me twice a year but now i dont know. I definitely want to stay in touch with my niece and nephew though.
  7. She doesn't but she wont do anything against her daughter. She will see the boy as another part of her daughter. I also believe she abused me because i was a child and couldnt fight back. Easy pickings i guess. Both parents stopped beating me in my early teens when i started to grow. Her hatred of men comes from her father i believe. Her side of the family are eastern european in origin. Her mom escaped the nazi death camps but her father didn't. He escaped the nazi camps and survivied the war and moved here but then he became an alcoholic after the war due to concentratoin camp trauma i guess and beat up my moms mothers at home so she said she hates men because of what she saw ( i never met her father, my grandfather, i met her mother once as a young boy and i specifically remember she was vile too)
  8. They are twins, 1 female 1 male. She doesnt say boo to them as they are my sisters children so she worships them.
  9. No but i meant for me it was a sign she had changed or was really trying to at the very least. I see now that she never will which is why i said going forward i will maintain minimal contact justm so i can stay in touch with the kids.
  10. Yes the USA thing is still very much in my thoughts but need to wait for COVID to clear up and travel allowances to be confirmed. Life is on hold for us all in that respect.
  11. I know i should but when i had my accident andlost my job, my partner (whch brought me to these boards) and my home in quick order i had nowhere to go and no money for food and she did help me so i thought she had changed and she let me stay there for 6 months. My dad refused to let me stay in his spare room as he had boxes in there so it was the streets or hers.
  12. I think you are right, my therapist is vulnerable to covid19 due to his outside health issues so i havent had a session in over a year but this accident has made me so angry. After my mom threw the knife at my head she apologised actually for the first time in here and said her chidlhood has messed her up and she wouldnt be violent again and that was about the time she startted making an effort and things got civil between us those years back. Edit - for about 7 years she seemed better but now i'm hearing different for the first time.
  13. I dont think my mom is a pleasant woman at all. I only found out about this today regarding the dog punching. I will confront her about it next week i mentioned that some posts back. Edit - the dog being in the front is entirely down to the sister.
  14. In response to you both i'd say both of my parents were violent and abusive (not sexually) so i guess it's what i became used to. I refused to have children for this very reason in case it 'was inside me' but now after having therapy for some years i realise it's them, by their choice, not something thats passed down through blood. I have suggested she get some help professionally but she threw a kitchen knife at my head, luckily it missed and stuck in the wall so didnt mention it since then. My dad had severe, violent mental health issues and was locked away in a mental home for most of my early life apparently (i cant remember but i was told this by other family) and then released back into society. I'm not scared of these people, i was as a child, not going to lie there so i spent 50% my childhood away from them at grandparents etc but now i'm not scared of them at all. I think the therapy ive had around it has dulled my reaction to it somewhat.
  15. Well i only found this out today and like i say i am raging although less so than earlier. I guess some people never change. As i said earlier i do intend to cut down communication to the minimum, i don't want to cut my niece and nephew off they are only 12 (twins) and are not involved. She was not involved in the accident because she was also fiercely against the dog being let out the front door despite what i now know. Next door neighbour have had 2 dogs killed the same way on that road and more than person has been killed on that road. It was terrifying to cross as an adult human.
  16. Yes, that is what my niece told me. I never saw it first hand or had any idea, he didnt show any injuries. She took the dog lead/chain, wrapped it around her fists and punched him in the face with it. The dog wasnt chained up, he was on the public pavement and she was sat on his chest from what i've heard and then a van stopped and some men get out and say somethng like "how would you like it if we did that to you" and she stopped.
  17. It's ok i got tough to it by the age of 10. A puppy can't defend itself though. A life lost that was so easily preventable if anyone had just given a damn i guess.
  18. No, they are my sisters kids not mine so they are an extension of my sister to her, she lets them get away with anything. I would assume the pup was an easy target plus he was male. While i dont defend my mothers abuse of me or the dog i will say she too suffered a traumatic childhood that no doubt caused her to be this way. I guess she thinks its normal to pass it down but she is very wrong.
  19. She has no friends, many people who have met her without knowing the full extent of what she has done to me have suggested i look up the term "narcissistic mother" while i dont want to psychoanalyse her i see a lot of similarities in there. Especially now i know she was abusing him because she felt he was bringing shame on her (??????). Apparently one time my niece said they were out walking him together and he pulled on the lead a bit and she started to hit him so badly a van of men had to pull up in the road to drag her off him. Next time i see her im going to tell her i know about this BS now and if she wants to hit someone she should try me and see what happens.
  20. Thank you and you might be right. I intend to keep time spent with them to a limit from now on. Life was easier when i had nothing to do with them sad as it is to say.
  21. Despite not speaking to me for over a year and my sister not speaking to him in over 6 years until last week out of the blue my dad called me late last night. I just ignored his call. I assume he's going to say forgive your sister now they are on speaking terms. He has no other reason to call. I will calm down but not yet especially now i know more.
  22. There was no split as such, we just didnt speak for years, no argument caused it. Just not close. Never have been, never will be but its nicer to not have any bad blood of course. I also just found out through my niece and nephew who live there that my mom stopped the feeding of him as punishment when i was not there although he was generally fed still apparently and she has been wrapping chains around her fists and punching him in the face with it when on walks if he pulled her as she "felt embarassed by his behaviour" ***!! So the lack of food thing was from my mom and the general lack of care regarding the 1 yet most vital rule came from my sister. Time usually reveals all so im going to see what more information comes to light. Knowing this i'm thinking hes better out of there but its too late anyway.
  23. If he had squeezed out the gap as someone opened the door to go out i could understand that. That would have been an accident. All they had to do is what we agreed, put him back inside and close the door then carry on with their business. I can only think as my sisters potential new man was so important to get away too he's squeezed out the gap and shes just thought "oh well, all will be fine as long as im not late for my date" I've got no proof, just a hunch. The dog getting hit was an accident, the events that led upto that were careless, reckless and neglectful at best. He did not get loose and instantly run into the road. He was out there for minutes for no reason before he got killed. No one could be bothered to take 5 SECONDS to bring him back inside. If this was a small child they would be up on charges by law.
  24. *VENTING* So now i had calmed down a little i started to think about it all and i can't work out how he got outside. The only possible way is someone opened the door and let him out. Monday was a bank holiday here so all people at the house there were home. He can't open the front door because it pulls open but he knew how to open internal doors with his paws on the handles as they pushed open. Everyone denies letting him out but someone has and just left him there. Someones lying to me and its making me mad. As everyone was saying they didnt let him out or even that he didnt run between their legs when they opened the door for whatever reason i asked my sister why she couldnt spare 5 seconds it would literally take to walk him back inside as she admits she saw him loose behind the small wall for some minutes before he jumped the wall. Her answer was she didnt want to be late for her Tinder date. I had to put the phone down i am absolutely raging. You cannot spare 5 seconds to make the dogs life safe just so you can rush off to meet some guy you have never met before?? Are you kidding me!!!??? I have told her to keep some distance for the near future, i am furious.
  25. Thanks Rose, anger has subsided somewhat. Had to go onto his instagram account and tell everyone the bad news. That was hard and broke me but i feel better now for doing that weirdly.
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