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ninjabib

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ninjabib last won the day on February 10 2020

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  1. I wont give her a 3rd chance after todays news. She's had 2.
  2. I've emailed my therapist to see when he's back to work because this has opened a whole new can of worms for me. I do thank you both for challenging me and my thoughts, genuinely. I just want my boy back but i know he's not coming back.
  3. I'm not going to after todays news. I dont know whether i'm sending confusing messages on here. Im going to maintain minimal essential contact. Thats it. When i used to go years without speaking to either parent my life was so much better for me but then she seemed to be trying to change so i thought i would give her a chance as it was better than holding onto bad feelings and memories about it all. I was wrong.
  4. Until todays news for the last 7 or so years she seemed to have changed a great deal and thats why i mentioned in the past my thoughts were to have them all over. Now i know shes still a bully underneath it all i'll just let the kids come.
  5. She told me that she hates all males and always has done since i was a child and that she never wanted me so i dont know what it all means, i gave up trying to figure both parents out a long time ago. She has probably only said it once or twice in the last few years though about hating males so maybe shes seeing the lunacy of her ways.
  6. Well before all this i was going to suggest they all come and stay with me twice a year but now i dont know. I definitely want to stay in touch with my niece and nephew though.
  7. She doesn't but she wont do anything against her daughter. She will see the boy as another part of her daughter. I also believe she abused me because i was a child and couldnt fight back. Easy pickings i guess. Both parents stopped beating me in my early teens when i started to grow. Her hatred of men comes from her father i believe. Her side of the family are eastern european in origin. Her mom escaped the nazi death camps but her father didn't. He escaped the nazi camps and survivied the war and moved here but then he became an alcoholic after the war due to concentratoin camp trauma i guess and beat up my moms mothers at home so she said she hates men because of what she saw ( i never met her father, my grandfather, i met her mother once as a young boy and i specifically remember she was vile too)
  8. They are twins, 1 female 1 male. She doesnt say boo to them as they are my sisters children so she worships them.
  9. No but i meant for me it was a sign she had changed or was really trying to at the very least. I see now that she never will which is why i said going forward i will maintain minimal contact justm so i can stay in touch with the kids.
  10. Yes the USA thing is still very much in my thoughts but need to wait for COVID to clear up and travel allowances to be confirmed. Life is on hold for us all in that respect.
  11. I know i should but when i had my accident andlost my job, my partner (whch brought me to these boards) and my home in quick order i had nowhere to go and no money for food and she did help me so i thought she had changed and she let me stay there for 6 months. My dad refused to let me stay in his spare room as he had boxes in there so it was the streets or hers.
  12. I think you are right, my therapist is vulnerable to covid19 due to his outside health issues so i havent had a session in over a year but this accident has made me so angry. After my mom threw the knife at my head she apologised actually for the first time in here and said her chidlhood has messed her up and she wouldnt be violent again and that was about the time she startted making an effort and things got civil between us those years back. Edit - for about 7 years she seemed better but now i'm hearing different for the first time.
  13. I dont think my mom is a pleasant woman at all. I only found out about this today regarding the dog punching. I will confront her about it next week i mentioned that some posts back. Edit - the dog being in the front is entirely down to the sister.
  14. In response to you both i'd say both of my parents were violent and abusive (not sexually) so i guess it's what i became used to. I refused to have children for this very reason in case it 'was inside me' but now after having therapy for some years i realise it's them, by their choice, not something thats passed down through blood. I have suggested she get some help professionally but she threw a kitchen knife at my head, luckily it missed and stuck in the wall so didnt mention it since then. My dad had severe, violent mental health issues and was locked away in a mental home for most of my early life apparently (i cant remember but i was told this by other family) and then released back into society. I'm not scared of these people, i was as a child, not going to lie there so i spent 50% my childhood away from them at grandparents etc but now i'm not scared of them at all. I think the therapy ive had around it has dulled my reaction to it somewhat.
  15. Well i only found this out today and like i say i am raging although less so than earlier. I guess some people never change. As i said earlier i do intend to cut down communication to the minimum, i don't want to cut my niece and nephew off they are only 12 (twins) and are not involved. She was not involved in the accident because she was also fiercely against the dog being let out the front door despite what i now know. Next door neighbour have had 2 dogs killed the same way on that road and more than person has been killed on that road. It was terrifying to cross as an adult human.
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