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Thread: I'm having a really rough day

  1. #21
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    From what you've written Jane made you her entire life, her heart, her soul, her sole reason for existing. You were (are?) the center of her universe.

    Do you think a part of you misses that? Maybe wishes Cathy viewed you the same way?
    I would not go so far as "her sole reason for existing", but she did go from centering her life around her family to me.

    Do I miss it? Not to the extent that Jane was dependent on me, because I found it suffocating. I am a single child, I have been accustomed to a degree of independence all my life. But I do miss the certainty of knowing where I stood with her, and I guess the comfort of knowing that I am loved, pretty much unconditionally.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You're not going to always get along... Kathy sounds like a good friend. I'd enjoy the friendship first before thinking of anything wedding-related or permanent. I know you were not speaking about Kathy in particular earlier regarding wedding bells but just sharing thoughts and how sad you felt earlier.

    The vibes between you and Kathy are a bit serious right now - do you think there's any way to lighten that up a bit? I don't know - laugh more or joke around? She seems very serious and you also seem like a very serious man. It feels heavy here between the both of you. I'm feeling a lot of pressure. You're going through other things right now and it's ok to feel sad. With Kathy, I'd keep things light and fun. If it's a constant chore doing this and she's more of a dark or oppressive personality even in her cluelessness or mistakes maybe you both might not work very well together.

  3. #23
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Update: My grandma has passed away in her sleep last night. I was able to say my goodbyes before she did, so I'm very glad I made the trip this weekend.

    I've been quite emotional, sometimes surprisingly calm even as other people cried around me, but then I'd just start tearing up for no apparent reason by myself. My rational brain is saying that she died in her 90s, surrounded by love and family, at the end of a happy and fulfilled life, so I should not be sad... but it's easier said than done.

    Life, however, must go on.

  4. #24
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I am sorry to hear about your grandma. But you will never regret being there. It is ok to grieve it is a part of healing.

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  6. #25
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    I'm so very sorry to hear about your grandmother. My grandparents passed away when I was in my mid 20s. They got to be great grandparents to 3 of my sibling's children. My mother is a great grandmother of 4 children now because my sister started so young. I also was close for a time with my husband's grandmother who passed away 20 years ago -it was so so hard on him and still is especially since his mother -her daughter- also passed away.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    So sorry, friend.

    Grieve as you need to, knowing every feeling is a valid one. It's its own logic system that can only be respected. I'm glad you got to see her. Hang in there.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    My heart goes out to you, MK, and I'm very sorry for your loss.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Condolences. Be good to yourself. A loss is a loss.

  10. #29
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Thank you all. Much appreciated.

  11. #30
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    I'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother, MirrorKnight. Wishing you the strength to sustain you during this difficult time.

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