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Thread: Can I forgive him

  1. #21
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kimberly8619
    I asked him what doctors heís registered at he said and it was the name of the doctor and he said but that doctor left last year. So I searched the doctors he told me times and dates of appointments because I asked him. Obviously these was false. The doctors shouldnít have gave me the information and he complained as they wouldnít tell me again after I confronted him. I even asked if Iv got the correct doctors abs they confirmed this information. I think everybody is entitled to go out with friends once in a while and I told him he should go out with friends but he wouldnít. Love the bones of him just means I love him so much. I have never cheated on him and never would.
    Thanks for the responses again. He had told me he feels like heís having a break down and thatís why he did it but Iím so hurt by this and thinking of my child if itís wrong of me to forgive him as I have my child to think about. He goes to his dads alternate weekends which I when I go and spend the weekend at his house with him and his child. One weekend his dad was away he said his mum would have our child but obviously I said no I will have him. And that was another argument because that should be my weekend at his house and Iv gone and had my child instead. Which I thought was so wrong of him to have a go at me about that x
    Holy cow stop elaborating it just gets more convoluted...

    He called this Dr. office and complained about his information being given out even though he was never a patient to begin with?!?! How would they even remember who he was by the time you called back and why would you call back? Wouldnít telling you once we never had this patient ( which youíre right they never should have shared info like that) be enough?

    Trying to wrap my head around this just isnít going to happen, sorry not sorry, but thatís neither here nor there because I truly donít think itís the real issue to begin with.

    You are describing this man as a down right monster. Then asking if you can forgive him.

    This is a relationship where by your own words he puts in zero effort, you stated you do all the driving to him.

    So he not only puts in zero effort he manipulates and lies to you, again according to your words.

    What on earth are you wanting to stay for? You donít seem to have the time for him to begin with even if he wasnít manipulative and needy, the distance seems to be a big hurdle.

    What about him do you love?

    Serious question.

    I know Iím coming off cold. Itís hard to convey tone in text,Iím just really not getting what youíre trying to get across to us. Heís horrible, you fully recognize it, no question, read your words, seriously, youíre describing him as a horrible lying manipulative needy man child, what is the draw?

    Again serious question.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kimberly8619
    Yeah I know Iv got to put my son first and thatís the main thing I also feel so sorry for him he is begging me telling me he canít live without me and he may aswel be dead with out me I hate to hurt anyone and feel I have no right to do that to somebody , it hurts me more that heís hurting more than the fact I am hurting and that is the hardest part I keep trying to think of what heís done telling me with his symptoms he is nearing death and what that did to me itís so hard x
    Itís not your job to save anyone Kimberly.

    If he is threatening suicidal please contact the authorities.

    The other poster is right you have to look out for your child and being exposed to this cannot be good for either of you.

    You already know what you need to do, and it shouldnít be hard to cut that cord, heís 60 miles away and he doesnít come to see you.

  3. #23
    The doctor he used to have left but itís the same surgery and I phoned up on another occasion and asked if I could book in with his old doctor that he mensioned and they said he left last year, which is what he said that the doctor had left itís still the same surgery. So he is registered there!
    He had turned up since I told him it was over he turns up when he knows my child is at his dad eg Tuesday which is the day I round go and see him and cries his eyes out begging me for forgiveness x

  4. #24
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kimberly8619
    The doctor he used to have left but itís the same surgery and I phoned up on another occasion and asked if I could book in with his old doctor that he mensioned and they said he left last year, which is what he said that the doctor had left itís still the same surgery. So he is registered there!
    He had turned up since I told him it was over he turns up when he knows my child is at his dad eg Tuesday which is the day I round go and see him and cries his eyes out begging me for forgiveness x
    Please donít allow him to just show up unannounced like that. Itís scary and could be considered stalking, which is a crime, so is giving a 3rd party medical appt information but thatís neither here nor there, if youíre broken up he needs to stay away.

    Stand your ground, if it get to the point please donít hesitate to call the authorities.

    Anyway you never did answer the questions asked about what you see in this guy, whatís the draw?

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  6. #25
    When we are together he is very loving and affectionate, we can have a laugh together , I suppose he makes me feel special telling me Iím the most beautiful girl in the world (which Iím aware isnít true lol) tells me every day how much he loves me. How Iím the best thing thatís ever happened to him. We go out for no be meals etc. Itís just bad when I go out or Iím working so cannot get to see him Etc thatís when heís different x

  7. #26
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kimberly8619
    When we are together he is very loving and affectionate, we can have a laugh together , I suppose he makes me feel special telling me Iím the most beautiful girl in the world (which Iím aware isnít true lol) tells me every day how much he loves me. How Iím the best thing thatís ever happened to him. We go out for no be meals etc. Itís just bad when I go out or Iím working so cannot get to see him Etc thatís when heís different x
    The good times donít erase the fact that he lies to you or attempts to control you or attempts to manipulate you.

    But honestly it is your life.

    I donít have to live with any of the decisions you make, you do.

    Do you want to stay with him, despite all thatís happened?

  8. #27

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    Originally Posted by Kimberly8619
    When we are together he is very loving and affectionate, we can have a laugh together , I suppose he makes me feel special telling me Iím the most beautiful girl in the world (which Iím aware isnít true lol) tells me every day how much he loves me. How Iím the best thing thatís ever happened to him. We go out for no be meals etc. Itís just bad when I go out or Iím working so cannot get to see him Etc thatís when heís different x
    This guy is insecure, a manipulator, and a big baby! You DO NOT want to continue being involved with him... he will only get worse and you will pay for it. Find a MAN who can respect you and be there for you.. not a big whiny baby who wants someone to feel sorry for him. Tell him to throw his own pity parties, you aren't attending!

  9. #28
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kimberly8619
    When we are together he is very loving and affectionate, we can have a laugh together , I suppose he makes me feel special telling me Iím the most beautiful girl in the world (which Iím aware isnít true lol) tells me every day how much he loves me. How Iím the best thing thatís ever happened to him. We go out for no be meals etc. Itís just bad when I go out or Iím working so cannot get to see him Etc thatís when heís different x
    So you will put up with an abusive, psychotic, manipulative, controlling, lying psychopath in exchange for a meal, a few laughs, and some very mundane meaningless compliments? How low have you sunk and why? If this is worth clinging to, I can't help but wonder just how low your self esteem is. What is going on with you? What do your friends and family have to say about this or are you afraid to share with them because you know this is wrong. It almost sounds like you need an intervention - your personal judgment is that far off normal.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stop being manipulated by this guy. Lies are like cockroaches if you see one there are probably thousands. Your son is who you need to feel sorry for. Where is his father? Pity parties are very common in abusers. It's usually in their bag of tricks.
    Originally Posted by Kimberly8619
    I know Iv got to put my son first and thatís the main thing.

  11. #30
    Iím completely torn. Honestly I really am. I love him to bits and feel so and for hurting him and wondering if itís right thing to do will I regret it. On the other hand I keep thinking about what heís done and can I really have that around my child. Thinking of all the lies and the trust which is completely broken. Like Iv said I donít feel I have the right to hurt anybody and hate to think Iv done that to someone I know I sound pathetic I know I do Iím just so torn of what to do but all your answers have helped me a lot to think itís not me going crazy when he says itís not a reason to break up if u love someone u work through things together etc

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