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LootieTootie

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LootieTootie last won the day on April 30

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  1. Please don't feel bad for your past self. In a lot of ways, you should feel proud. You came from a conservative background and was able get out of this mold how you should be and chose to be who you wanted to be. When I was in my 20s, I was still lost in my own self-discovery and didnt find myself until I was in my 30. I think sometimes when we go thru a breakup, we grieve. Sometimes that means grieving for our old relationship, old memories, our even grieving for our old self- but try to look at it as a new chapter in your journey of self-love and self-discovery. Also keep at it with the art if you find it therapeutic or/and to preoccupy your mind/time.
  2. You two need to go your own separate ways - too toxic. Happy you feel like you found your calling in healthcare. There's a great need in this field and with someone who went thru some mental health issues, your experience is going to be invaluable to those you serve.
  3. She sounds like my parents! Just imagine having 2 of them. Sorry Sera, it just sounds like she is cranky and yet, being helpful the only way she knows how (which isn't so helpful). I ignore my parents calls sometimes and when I can't ignore their calls or their presence, I just sit, smile and said "uh huh" even when they're telling me all the things I did wrong or I should do and inside I'm just burning with angst. I think at their age, all they want is to be heard but they don't want to hear you out. Any way, I'm sorry about your past but I commend you for taking your mother in. Family is family.
  4. I think the OP has left the thread but if she comes back, I hope she gives us an update. Mimikyu, you both are very young and there's so much to learn from this. I do think you need to accept that your boyfriend does like to watch porn when he is under stress and on top of that, he treats you pretty poorly when he is stress. After you accepted these, I hope you also make a decision if you are okay with that or not. If you're not, then you know what you need to do. Don't get in to a relationship/situation or stay in one hoping to change the person. It seldom works out that way and even if they change, they might resent you.
  5. I love Sade. Saw her in concert back in the days. Her band and Sade was phenomenal!
  6. I think every time you want to reach out to her, tell yourself why you broke up with her. Be pragmatic when it comes to love. We like to think or fantasize that love is like the movies, but its really not. If you've been in a LDR for 5-years, and like any LDR that over-extends, it becomes exhausting and lacks substance as time flies by. This was when you finally had your clarity and broke up with her. I think like every breakup, you're struggling with your emotions because you're still sorting out all your feelings. So you sway back and forth and think of other things that hardly matters thinking "maybe they did matter?" Nah, its just you sorting yourself out - trying to make sense of your feelings, but not the situationship/relationship. You know the relationship was always unsustainable. So how you go about this to heal, to recover? Thats all up to you. Just a pointer... not sure how close you are to a dog park, if theres any where you're at, but go to the dog park (if weather permits). I know a handful of people who met their significant others at the dog park 🙂
  7. No good-intention boyfriend or girlfriend is going to ask for space and keeps leaving you on read for almost a week without saying something. Like others said, I would treat this as a break-up or him "ghosting" you. Your ex-boyfriend is a coward but even cowards deserves respect - so if he wants his space, respect his wishes. Also something tells me you have a lot of good things to say about him, but I think you're omitting the not so good things about him too - hoping theres a chance of reconciliation. Try some journaling or just keep writing on here if it helps.
  8. I'm sorry to hear this happened to you YC! I know my husband had one when we first started dating. He was having lots of anxieties and stress when he moved here with me. Do you know if your panic attacks are trigger by stress?
  9. You have been having a LDR with someone for 5 years - that is not ideal at all and yes, it's not sustainable. I can see how this would just not make anyone feel close to their significant other. I read this part and I think maybe she is not as "tore up" about the break up is because she got you when she was in a relationship. I don't mean to judge her but I do believe in that saying "you'll lose them how you got them"... But back to you, please don't blame yourself for the breakup. It was unsustainable as an ongoing 5-yr relationship. Please date locally or put yourself out there locally. Once you make your 20s about someone and you are in your 30, and NOTHING has happened, time to make your 30s about you.
  10. Yes sounds like a wacko and good for you for finally stepping up and kicking him to the curb. Nobody deserves that type of treatment. I think a lot of women, not just you, want to be the "cool girlfriend" but sometimes being "cool girlfriend" can really backfire on you. You want to be non-dramatic, low-key and low maintenance BUT there are things you know that do bother you about the relationship and your partner's behavior or quirks. Yet somehow you are trying to maintain this low-key, low maintenance persona and addressing it will rock the boat. Next time, I encourage you to be honest with yourself and speak up early. Don't hold it all in thinking "not a big deal, I can handle it." When an individual feels their generosity being taken advantage of, their patience starts waning and that can manifest into all sorts of negative energy and vibes. Please be kind to yourself and know that you are better by yourself than with that guy. I also agree with YogaCat, he sounds like a woman-hater. Guys like that need to be miserable by themselves.
  11. I might be in the unpopular end of this discussion, but I think its fine if OP wants to keep having sex with someone not LD guy until LD guy tells OP exactly what he wants. I just say be careful with "player-type" guys... they tend to have a lot of cooties.
  12. Reading this, I think I'm with catfeeder here. You were being the "cool girlfriend" - the girlfriend who was passive and willing to go with the flow. He never had this BUT once you started to expect more from him, he was probably dumbfounded. I mean yes, you did point out to him about the cleaning lady but when he actually asked you to have a talk about why all of a sudden you're charging me a huge sum, you tell him to hold off. I can see why you both are wrong and its a lack of clear communication.
  13. I met a dog named Cujo and I thought it was just wild that his parents would name him Cujo.
  14. Yes I think thats what her husband had said and she admitted they were arguing about it. He wanted to stay put because thats what everyone say to do during a blizzard. She wanted him to go out and get help because she was worried they would starve knowing there was a week long storm. I was so mad at them for traveling if they had known there would be a storm but they "done it every winter with no issues."
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