LootieTootie

Everyone has their own shortcomings. At least you know what your shortcomings are- you acknowledge them and you try to work on them consistently. I also think because of your husband being the person he was, he really did a number on your self-confidence. Now that you're able to get out of the bubble, it is like learning about yourself all over - what do you like? what makes you happy? Instead of leaning on someone else to tell or dictate that for you. I am someone who truly believes that when you're the happiest, you attract the loveliest people including potential quality partners. Keep working on yourself and finding yourself. I think there is a rainbow at the end of the tunnel for you.

It's already bad that he has been cheating on you and you're still standing by his side. I think you need to be honest with yourself. Do you think you will ever be comfortable knowing that your guy likes to wear lingeries and plays with sex toys, like anal toys? If you say no, then don't be with him. This is who he is. You should never be in a relationship because you hope one day they will miraculously change.

Me thinks he liked your friend and your friend wasn't having it - maybe out of respect for you or/and didnt care for him. It happens when FWBs hang out with FWBS entourage and your FWB go "oh, maybe another FWB to add?" Any way, I think both of them are not straight with you and thats fine because it just shows that they arent honest people. I love your introspection from it all tho, Moonindigo. I think classes or maybe even try meetup groups.

I do think you are overthinking here - your feelings are all over the place. I don't know if you have concrete examples of him being a misogynist, but the ones you wrote don't sound like it would fit the definition. Don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you are even ready to date or put yourself out there to date? I ask this because when I read your posts, you don't seem sure of yourself to be direct/open, and you also have some deep-seeded emotional issues about men. However, I also think you are in the right direction about setting boundaries with him and see what he says and do.

Agree with your therapist.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. You're human and humans make mistakes all the time - especially when they're desperate to feel human connection. I would definitely count your lucky stars nothing bad happened to you and start finding healthy ways to connect with people. Have you thought about volunteering? Joining meet-up groups? Are you religious? Is there a class you always wanted to sign up?

Sounds like this man has a lot of baggage. However your reaction to his reaction is also troubling. It seems like to calm his rage, you would try to sooth things out by caving to his whims and babying him. I think you both need to break up so you both can grow. He needs to get over his baggage - I mean dude is walking with baggage that even a Dodge Durango can't fit. And you need to have a very honest introspection why you feel the need to be the person in the relationship to "make nice" - this is quite common in most people who are people-pleasers, or people who lack self-worth. Going forward, I think you need to block him so you can do self-evaluation without distraction from him. This guy is very toxic due to unresolved issues stemming from past hurt he never got over, and so he takes it out on people he loves/cares about or people who show him decency. No one can help him except a professional. For you, only you can help yourself by knowing your worth and never caving into someone's irrational fears.

Who cares what she thinks or feels. You need to put yourself first. if you have feelings for her that's more than just friends, then you need to cut this off. She isn't being clear with you. If someone tells you "Just friends" one day and the next day "just friends for now" they'll pulling your strings. And if you asked her twice about this, then something tells me you are wanting it to be more than friends and thats not good. I've always felt that people should never mix business with pleasure. Once you do, and things don't work out, you will see this person and be reminded of their baggage, your baggage, your shortcomings, bad memories, etc. Business is to get away from your personal life but when you can't even get that, it can really affect your job and your performance at it. Any way, I digress. Please think about this - do you like her more than a friend? If yes, I would stop these "bf/gf functions" with her, and see what she says or do. It could very well be she just like the attention. Some people love attention from the opposite sex even if they don't very much care for the person that is giving them the attention.

Ok I've seen it twice on teachers hooking up in the classroom... Once when I was in elementary school - forgot my homework and made my mom take me back after hours because I knew my teacher's car and if I saw his car, I knew he was in the classroom. Lets just say I found out why he and Ms. K stayed late! And another time in high school. Was picking up trash around the school during lunch time (my punishment in lieu of detention for the whole semester) and saw two teachers I know screwing. The classroom was dark but there was a crack of the curtains and I saw them buttnaked on the couch! I was so disgusted because I knew students sat on that couch LOL.

I love this concept! Let us know how it goes if you decide to try it out.

Love it. This is what being single and dating should be. Just have fun.

goodness... you need to kick this woman to the curb.

It can be anything why she has taper down on the texting. Don't be quick to judge and don't overly invest in anyone early on. It's all about having fun and if you felt you both had fun on your first date and found each other enjoyable, then that's something to take away from it all. I think once you start letting your insecurities get to you and you start applying that over to the whys, you will not enjoy dating.

I would be unhappy if this was my husband and he has a lot of old friends that are females (some even exes). I find their behavior disrespectful. What's really strange in their situation is when she was with her ex, she had to block your boyfriend, so maybe her ex knew something. Now she's back, and you're starting to see some of those questionable behaviors (constant messaging and calls at nights) - I would sit down with him again and make it very clear that you are not ok with them constantly in communication because it doesn't sit well with you. Tell him this is your boundary and if he doesn't respect your boundary because he thinks its nonsense, then you need to let this guy go and find someone who respects you enough to not cross your boundaries.

You don't think a married man sending selfies to a single woman every day is leading her on? We all like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt but be smart. No happy or sane married man is going to jeopardize their marriage by sending selfies every day to a single gal unless they need some ego boost. I know you mean well, ShySoul. But let's be real and smart.