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Thread: I have kept my mouth shut long enough

  1. #1
    vesper
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    I have kept my mouth shut long enough

    Basically I got married last June after a 2 year commitment. A few days after my wedding day I get a message from my ex. He has put me through hell. I responded with a polite response HELLO! I am married now , leave me alone.

    fast forward to today, I thought I saw him in a crowd but he didn't act like he knew me. I recognized this shirt that he was wearing and his general complection. I dont want him in my life, we are facebook, linkedin, and instagram friends but thats it. I have no intention of getting back together with him, I love my husband waaaay too much.

    Its just eating at me and I feel stressed out. I have been snacking eventough I am on a strict diet to lose 40 pounds. 2-3 times a week I look at his facebook page, but He HAS a girlfriend too. Why is he in my neighborhood?

  2. #2
    abitbroken
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    Congrats on the marriage!

    I would delete him from social media because his presence is surely bothering you. The problem is yours, not his, if you keep checking his facebook. Why is he in your neighborhood? Maybe he got a new job. Who knows. Maybe he saw you and didn't approach because you are broken up and he knows you are married or didn't see you. He doesn't seem like he is trying to interfere in your life if he never approached you.

  3. #3
    vesper
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    Quote Originally Posted by abitbroken [Register to see the link]
    Congrats on the marriage!

    I would delete him from social media
    Thank you! I have considered this but I have known him since 1999 and we have a very special history together and it took me forever to get him to friend me on facebook, I dont want to throw our friendship away.

  4. #4
    Ms Darcy
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    Do you want to get back with this ex?

  5. #5
    Wiseman2
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    It seems to be You who is fostering this friendship through social media. Stop, block and delete.

    What does your choice to remain social media friends have to do with stress and diets? He can go anywhere he wants. Avoid him, that's all.
    Quote Originally Posted by vesper [Register to see the link]
    we are facebook, linkedin, and instagram friends but thats it. I am on a strict diet to lose 40 pounds. 2-3 times a week I look at his facebook page

  6. #6
    holistic17
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    You are contradicting yourself. "I don't want him in my life".....yet you are checking his Facebook several times a week and "don't want to throw the friendship away". That makes no sense whatsoever!
    You sound like you are still hurting and bitter over it. The best way forwards is to block and delete every method of communication. Why are you keeping these communication lines open? You don't have anything to prove to him. You're married - I'm not sure why you are checking another mans social media so often. Put your pride and ego to the floor and realise that you're only a prisoner to your negative feelings as long as you keep feeding into them. Stop putting your attention into him and his business. You dont sound like you are actually over him which is sad. Stop punishing yourself and making it like it's his fault that you saw him. You're in control of your own reactions. Focus on the man who loves you and married you!

  7. #7
    Betterwithout
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    When people in my life "put me through hell" as you put it, I go the other direction and don't look back.
    Even with a "special history", have you not yet realized it's time to move on and live your life with your new husband?
    I'm sure your husband wouldn't be so keen that you are stalking him on FB 2-3 times a week.
    Time to kill all the social media connections with him (for the number of reasons you already know)
    and love your husband, and focus on the great goal of your diet.

  8. #8
    MissCanuck
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    OP, you are talking out both sides of your mouth.

    You told him to leave you alone. You say you don't want him in your life.

    Yet you want to maintain his friendship. You won't delete him from social media.

    Which is it?

    It doesn't sound like you've actually been friends for some time now. I get that sometimes it feels good for an ex to see how well we're doing so they can eat their heart out a little, but you're a married woman now. You should be well past the point of caring what an ex thinks or trying to hang on to them through social media.

    Do you think you might still carry a little flame for this ex?

  9. #9
    jujusamples
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    @OP, all I got out of your posts is that you still have feelings for your ex. Yes, you say you love your husband way too much, but if that is the case, you wouldn't care what your ex does.

    Your ex has the right to be wherever he wants, what does that have to do with you? Why are you questioning the fact that he's in your hometown? Yes, the issue is with you, not your ex. You probably didn't fully get over him. I say it's not too late to start NC and delete him from all social media outlet. Out of sight out of mind! Don't make up any more excuses like you've been friends since 1999.

  10. #10
    RainyCoast
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    i don't understand the title. what have you kept silent about, and to whom?

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