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Betterwithout

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Betterwithout last won the day on August 8 2020

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About Betterwithout

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  1. I just want to say I think it's admirable that you opened up here online and are taking some concrete steps to move past the grief. You have no doubt been through some tough struggles. You are going to be stronger every day that you work on yourself, so keep moving forward every day. Pretty soon, the women will start noticing you and being attracted to you .....simply because you have gained inner confidence and that will start showing on the outside. Perhaps weight has some affect on your outward appearance, but it's mainly what your outward confidence is the key trait women and other
  2. Learn more about progressions of relationships. Introduction Friendly conversation Date Flirting Kissing, light physical Sexual (this is where most people learn is the point of emotionally attached.) You need to learn to be "friends" first and remember that getting emotionally attached too quickly is a turn off for both sexes.
  3. Step 1: Change massage therapists Step 2: Ask her on a date and see if she takes advantage of your wallet. Those two things will give you an answer on her genuine feelings about you.
  4. FWIW, I find "the one" to be elusive. At one point in my life, I used to subscribe to the idea that their is someone made for each of us. With a number of decades behind me, I now think there are several of "the ones". To meet them it's all about the right place at the right time, chance and circumstances, etc. The movie "Hitch" comes to mind for this mindset. There are over 7 billion people on the planet, and if I were single I would find great comfort knowing that there are probably over a half a million women that would be a great match for me. So you have this 19, 29, 39 streak
  5. Good to hear all went well. Most of what we worry about never even happens. Keep us posted on the in-person date. That is where the rubber meets the road :)
  6. Even if this play date is vanilla and platonic, continue to invest slowly and carefully into the relationship. It appears that the foundation isn't all that strong at the moment.
  7. Judging by your picture, you may be in the West Coast/ Cali? On my bucket list is driving on the Pacific Coast Highway, but I live on the NorthEast :( Someday, someday.
  8. Sorry to hear of this. Well certainly drinking can lead to behaviour changes, many times worse behaviour changes. Long distance relationships can be challenging in the best of times. If I am reading between the lines correctly, does he truly want to maintain this LDR, or do you think the distance is becoming a problem. I may be incorrect with this, but defensiveness (sometimes, not always) can mean there is someone else and the defensiveness manifests as guilt on his part. Again, I don't want to have you dwell on the thought that there is someone else, but it's possible. Give it some
  9. It's a good thing to support family when times get tough, or help them with a place to live are limited or just for companionship. However, collecting/hoarding comes in many forms and as you eluded to , many do hold on to stuff after the loss of a spouse or parent to keep them alive. I would bet that this is quickly going to become a wedge between you and your wife and can only get worse. Hoarding in minor and major forms is a mental illness and can't be "cured". If you take away 4 boxes, eventually that space will be filled with 4 new boxes. The best thing you can do is rent a storage
  10. Absolutely. You know the expression of "fly on the wall". When you are spending time together, pretend you are the fly on the way out of your own body observing his behaviour as a bystander. Without emotional investment involved, it might become clearer of his intentions. Do his words match his actions consistently over the months, or does he say one thing and do another? At this stage, he might prefer a FWB arrangement and feeding you with words that will sustain it. I strongly recommend keeping the dialogue open for "real relationship" discussions. Watch his body language closel
  11. In my opinion, an ideal loving relationship is one where you feel content, happy, feel loved, comfortable, secure, and can open up and be vulnerable. If you are lacking most of these things, this is either not the right person for you or the right time to be dating... for you or him. Please take the "I've changed and things will be different this time" stance with a grain of salt. Yes, some people can change for the better but some say utter those words very loosely. Fundamentally at the core, do you think he has really changed? My advice: It's only been a month and you are seeing ea
  12. I second travelling, but with COVID, therein lies the problem. BUT, how about a road trip with a close friend to another State? That can work out ok with Covid going on. A change of scenery can be a good way to take a break from your city/town.
  13. Are you asking for advice or journalling? If you are asking for advice, I'd say you already know it by the sentences you wrote above! Take your own advice. Let her continue with her life and focus on getting you back in shape both mentally and physically. If you do get back together in the future great, but you know that often doesn't work out that way. You can learn from this relationship and continue to find love in the next relationship. Good luck my friend.
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