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Betterwithout

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Betterwithout last won the day on August 8 2020

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  1. Nothing is worse than getting involved with someone who isn't totally into you. and that goes for BOTH people!!
  2. Compatibility is a huge factor when dating. it sounds like you are more introverted and that's fine. If your "cooler girl" is extremely extroverted, the opposites could attract, but could also cause problems. The advice I always stick with is, you need to like/love yourself before you can truly like/love another. Keep up with the working out, and find new ways to build your confidence. Even introverted people can become super confident with some work. Good luck with the "cooler girl".
  3. I think this comment ^ sums it all up. This is a huge life decision gone wrong, and you are in a real bind of your next steps. You are also going through immense shock of your life being turned upside down. The decision is so large, I would like to emphasize professional therapy to get through this. There are too many loved ones involved, and the fact you mentioned considering suicide speaks volumes. Please do seek therapy.
  4. The word "settle" should never be a part of your vocabulary. Settling most often leads to breakup.
  5. No dating success or no second dates happens for a wide range of reasons: -fate, -incompatibilities, -Covid, -no chemistry, -looks, -confidence, -bad gut feelings, -something that was said, and more. It's all a sheer numbers game too. Some find love on the first person they meet in person, some take several years to find a great person. Take a break from it. Do something else. Go back to it refreshed.
  6. Sorry that you are going through this. You want to do what's right for your son, but I have to say the ONLY good thing to do is to move on from her. You love her...yes, there is a lot of stuff to sort out...yes It will impact you financially...yes Your son will feel sad...yes I found out my wife was cheating over a decade ago and it hurt like hell. The lowest I have ever felt in my life and with two very young kids, I was absolutely devastated. It was a tough decision to leave her especially in that state, but let me tell you- leaving her was the BEST decision I have ever made! She continued to cheat with the next men and it happily doesn't affect me now! She can enjoy her own web of lies, deceit and cheating without me in her life! I give 100% of my love to my kids now, and that love is unbreakable. Please take the advice from me and many others who have been in your shoes to leave, and not look back. You can now focus on an unbreakable bond between you and your son. Get a good lawyer (referral if possible) and prepare your case. You will find justice and resolve going behind her back for a change getting the lawyer stuff taken care of before you present her with papers. Give her a shock she won't forget!
  7. Bullet.... dodged! I am so happy you found out right away the level of nut job he is before you fell for his charms. You learned your lesson the easy way. Onward and upward!
  8. Once I hear the word "Casino", I'm out. Money management is so important in a relationship (as cold as that sounds) that if you guy chooses to go there instead of seeing you, massive red flag with flashing red lights and loud siren too! I don't mean any disprespect to those who enjoy gambling, but there a more horror stories than fun glories in the confines of those buildings.
  9. You have your answers with all the commenters thus far, so take that advice!! This dude isn't the whole package. The only thing I admire about this guy is that he was upfront with you about why his marriage fell apart. However, I firmly stand by "once a cheater, always a cheater" My ex was a cheater and is on BF #3 and plays the victim card of lies to find the next guy. Save yourself the misery and wait for the right guy...oh and that can and may take a long time to find...so please be patient in finding him.
  10. Hector Only Understands Neutral Directions VICES
  11. Firstly, sorry to hear you are in a tough spot. It's been really tough for a lot of people lately, and it seems that we are all "swimming" in a vast ocean and trying the best we can. I hope your Grandmother recovers well. You came here looking for help and you will receive some good advice from many who have been through some really tough shi_. SooSad33 mentions writing a journal...and I strongly recommend it. When you are upset, the mind has a way of letting everything come to a boil just seconds away from explosion. Take the time to write out what you are thinking. Keep the journal online, and write for yourself no one else and really let it all out. It will help relieve some of the pressure building. Oh...and aside from the therapy, do keep that sense of humor going. It helps you more than you know.
  12. I sense a major contradiction here. You say you don't want a new relationship, but you are pining over two different men, who aren't all that available to you IRL.? Perhaps you are lonely and looking for some healing from your last break up and current life drama. You say yourself "this is the short version, it's very complicated" At this stage, it sounds like you are open to casual relationships, but nothing too serious. Maybe that is what you need to approach, something light fun and casual. You are young, so this is your chance to do "young" things.
  13. This information ^^ would have been great to have at the start of the post. You are describing attempted rape...no matter what you guys history is, or you were "drunk". Consider yourself lucky that she didn't call the police. Seek therapy and keep distance from her.
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