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ParisPaulette

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Everything posted by ParisPaulette

  1. If he was mean to you who cares what else he may or may not have felt towards anyone else. From your description of the guy the only one he seems to truly love is himself. He enjoys lots of female attention and Amy was only one more page in that book, but as far as anything else goes she just probably got more air time with him, because she played along. Right now block and delete him, therapy is an excellent road to take to find out why you'd stay with someone who was horrible to you, and heal. Learn to pay attention to red flags at the first sign and not the thousandth one. Not judging, but it's definitely something you need to address, because telling someone they picture every new woman they meet naked is NOT normal conversation to the person you claim to love or be a partner to. In fact, come to think of it, it's not normal conversation for anyone. Also, ewwww. Really? Do you go around picturing every guy you meet naked? I don't know how the creep sirens didn't start blaring when he told you that. It was your cue to run then and not look back. Be glad you're done and be done for good. The guy's relationships with every woman including you were not normal. And you need to work on yourself before you ever enter into another relationship in order to figure out what normal is or isn't. And I'm not trying to be mean here, I've been where you are with a sociopath that wrapped me round the bend for six years. A fact I will forever be not happy about, but will use as a warning to others. When you see the first sign of "Hey, this doesn't feel/look/sound right," that's because it isn't. And you should pay attention to that. Bottom line you are fine to have broken up with him. But you would be fine whether he was an angel or a devil, because your choice matters and you do have a voice in what you find acceptable or not with a partner regardless of what anyone else thinks. I can't tell if you're still married to someone else or were married when you began with this guy, but that's another issue and one you need to address separately. It may very well be that it's a great idea to end all relationships and stay single while you get your life together. And I mean that sincerely, not to be mean, but to tell you to wake up to your own actions in all of this and to decide what you, not someone else, should be doing.
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzNRl6emK90&list=RDyZIummTz9mM&index=14
  3. I'm glad to leave 2017 behind. Ironic a favorite band would lose one of its own, a favorite singer of mine and his songs would be the ones I play when I think about my mother. RIP, may you both find peace and happiness wherever you are.
  4. The only advice I can give you is if you have to act like their mother trying to keep them from going to a party or hanging out with bad friends then you should dump them and find someone you don't have to do that with. This is so toxic. Yeah, he's probably cheating, and you are nagging and treating him like a jailer instead of being the woman who has so much going on her life that he and you understand there are plenty of other people out there to provide what he won't, if he wants to go that route. it's time to take the focus off of him completely, find something you always wanted to do, make new friends, go out without him and show him that if he's not interested in being trustworthy and someone you can count on there are other people who want to maybe take up that spot instead. Either he or you will have the realization that really he's not the only game in town and things will be better for you.
  5. Ghost ONLY if things seem weird or way off or they are sending up red flags of a serious nature. Otherwise, a simple text, "I don't see this going anywhere, thanks. Good luck in your endeavors" is fine. Then blocking and deleting and moving on is the way to go. I think it's a waste of time to draw it out and let the person "argue" their point or keep trying beyond the point where you know you aren't interested. No is a complete sentence and it should be said more often. That said sometimes abusive or people with serious red flags can turn violent if they are told no, so for safety's sake if anyone feels there is something wrong in those cases I advocate ghosting after a single text, "Not interested, thanks." One or two dates in a single text then never responding or letting them have a way to try and reach you to argue is probably the quickest and most decisive way to let someone go, so you can both move on to greener pastures.
  6. A single text, not a biggie. But this guy has serious red flags of the "my ex is crazy" "can I borrow your car" "I am going to pull our kids into this as quickly as possible to make you feel closer to me" "I need a favor" etc. etc. And the minute someone trots out "peace bond" and it's all just a giant ol' misunderstanding - or anything to do with court cases ongoing - it's time to bounce, OP. Also, this woman frankly didn't sound like someone who typically wants to chase off competition. They will usually be a whole lot more nasty and vitirolic and accuse the guy of cheating or insult you or name call. She didn't do that. She just told you in a rather friendly way to watch your back and not get so invested in this guy emotionally so fast without some wide open eyes. Also, here's another thing. How in hell did she get your number if she's not in contact with the guy and he "doesn't know her." Plus yeah, you are letting him have access to things like your car and child and life way too fast. Six months from now on the kids, maybe. A car, pffft, you are seriously leading with your chin if you let anyone else drive it and you have just opened yourself up to being used. If your'e married and together then sure let them drive your car once in a while since your'e both on the insurance and hopefully by that time you know you can trust this guy not to wreck it and leave you holding the bag, as you can drive theirs. But men or who women who start acting like "what's yours is mine" before you've even moved in together let alone dated for less than six months? Yeah, good luck with that. I've never seen a user who didn't pull that one and yes, I've dated a lot of men before marrying a good one. Overly charming? Check. Exes all crazy/out to get me. Check. "Oh hey, can I borrow that/have you pay for me/I'm just a big ol misunderstood good guy." Check, check, and triple check. Flattery, flattery, gosh I never felt like this before with anyone, the court system is out to get me, and we add more checks to that red flag list. Sorry OP, I know I'm dissenting from some others here, but there are just too many red flags showing up for someone you barely know. And you need to take a step back and ask yourself what's going on in your life that you are so hungry to believe this guy and try to quell the little voice in your head that made you post this in the first place. Personally I think it's too much drama, too fast and too many weird things. And your refusal to see it even though you know something is wrong or you would not have reached out in the first place is equally worrying.
  7. Subliminal hell, he out and out asked. Meme or not, yeah he was fishing all right. He's definitely a candidate for the CreepyPMs forum on another popular forum that I've seen. Also, gross. Block and delete, he hit that backpedal cycle fast to try and cover up his faux pas, but more are on the way if you keep in contact. This guy is looking for "fun" which is fine, but asking someone to expose themselves with no regard for a person's privacy or how those photos could be misused by a near stranger is not something I think is okay to do. Regardless.
  8. Every time I go to see her when I leave it's like I'm dragging another 100 pounds behind me. So tired for her, so tired for me. Neither of us knows when to let go. Another reason to hate August.
  9. Sigh, The Dark Tower. I know a book series isn't going to be the same in a movie, but I had hope. I mean the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings films were pretty decent on their own. Plus Idris Elba is yummy, so although I'd read the books and loved them, I decided to give the film a chance. I should have gone with my original impulse of just waiting until it hit Netflix. The film on its own, pretending I knew nothing about the original story, was just awful. I'm just hoping It will be better.
  10. I know I said no more dogs. And then my Husky died and I've been sad, in mourning. He was old, it was going to happen, I rescued him with heart issues so I knew. But still...you've been brought to me three times, people reject you because you have too much energy, you're a little rebel, a totally sweet nut, but just not the dog that will blindly obey. And yet today sitting there sad, lost in memories of my husky you brought me his favorite toy. After I stopped crying I played with you for an hour. Then I called the pound and told them I'm keeping you and tomorrow I'll pay all the fees and you will have a home. My husband is going to hit the roof, the cats will continue to be annoyed with me, but I don't care. You stole my heart today and forever. And Shadow, I think wherever you are, your'e smiling and saying, "Good, Mom got the message."
  11. The absolute heart-stopping astonishing beauty of the place I live in. Sat in front of the glass picture window last night and watched a light show of lightning in the clouds. No rain, no thunder, but it was spectacular. Like something out of a science fiction movie, but the full moon behind it. So beautiful. The Land of Enchantment indeed.
  12. [video=youtube;xNDNDYGA7P4] ] A girl after my own heart.
  13. There aren't rules of etiquette that will get you shunned from society if you do or don't them per se, but look at whether or not it's worth even responding. If the breakup was friendly and neither of you went through a bad time then if you're single and so is he, who knows. Walk away though if he isn't. If it was an ugly breakup or the relationship was toxic then there's zero reason to respond. And again, no one will hold that against you and if they do dump them out of your life, because exes are exes for a reason usually. Personally, for me no ex has ever gotten in touch with me when things were going well in their life. And I found out the hard way being someone's back up comfort zone is not what you want in a relationship, so really you need to assess things. An image only though, is not a serious communication. He's fishing and not sure of why or if he should contact you. It's very different than getting a sincere apology or a "Can we get together for coffee" type message from someone you don't hold any real animosity towards.
  14. All I'm going to say further is that I think you should read this article and be sure you do not fall into the category of becoming an enabler. And I do not say that to try and make you wrong or have a go at you, but this article is a pretty good non-judgmental one on how to help people without doing everything for them so they never change or do anything from themselves. Having worked with abuse survivors I can tell you that it is crucial this girl learns to stand on her own two feet and handles her own life. And that you work on ways to let her do that and to stay sane in all of this, so that you both are emotionally healthy. Because at the end of the day that's really what it's all about. Two people who not emotionally healthy will not be able to overcome their issues together, they will simply fall into patterns that never change. Read the article link and just see if it helps at all. I'm not judging by the way, I've seen it all and had an alcoholic father, so I know all too well how easy it is to cross the line from helping them to doing everything for them, and not being able to tell the difference. I really think you do care, I don't get any maliciousness on your part towards this woman. You really do want the best for her, but it's hard sometimes to see how to go about that. This article might at least shed some insight into that. Good luck, I wish you both the best.
  15. I'm going to have to go see a dentist and I am dreading it. But the pain, yeah I can't ignore this any more. (expletive!)
  16. Sweet Vicious. I love the show, but it's been really hard to watch in some ways. Reminds me of my college days, not the good ones.
  17. No matter how well my mom is doing after starting/stopping a new treatment/trying new activities/insert other thing to try and make her last days better, there will come that day, that moment when I'm reminded that she has Alzheimer's and is not coming back. I just wish it didn't hurt so much whenever it happens. Death by a thousand tiny paper cuts is what this illness is.
  18. [video=youtube;DDcJiamY9N8] ] My new favorite song!
  19. ^^^ The Scientist is a favorite of mine too. Another one I like to play sometimes when I'm thinking of my father, who was an alcoholic that finally got clean and sober and kept it that way for 30 some years. I hear this song and imagine he would have liked it and said that the song is about an addiction to alcohol, not a love gone wrong. So that's how I hear it. Plus something he once said to me about his addiction as a constant reminder to him of what he was, a weak man. I told him a weak man would have died, he didn't. I hope it gave him some comfort to hear that. RIP Dad. Nickelback: How You Remind Me Never made it as a wise man I couldn't cut it as A poor man stealing Tired of living like a blind man I'm sick of sight without A sense of feeling And this is how you remind me This is how you remind me Of what I really am This is how you remind me Of what I really am It's not like you to say sorry I was waiting on a different story This time I'm mistaken For handing you A heart worth breaking And I've been wrong I've been down Into the bottom of every bottle These five words in my head Scream Are we having fun yet Yet, yet, yet, no no Yet, yet, yet, no no It's not like you didn't know that I said I love you and I swear I still do And it must have been so bad 'Cause living with me must have Damn near killed you And this is how you remind me Of what I really am This is how you remind me Of what I really am It's not like you to say sorry I was waiting on a different story This time I'm mistaken For handing you A heart worth breaking And I've been wrong I've been down Into the bottom of every bottle These five words in my head Scream Are we having fun yet Yet, yet, yet, no no Yet, yet, yet, no no Yet, yet, yet, no no Yet, yet, yet, no no Never made it as a wise man I couldn't cut it as A poor man stealing And this is how you remind me This is how you remind me This is how you remind me Of what I really am This is how you remind me Of what I really am It's not like you to say sorry I was waiting on a different story This time I'm mistaken For handing you A heart worth breaking And I've been wrong I've been down Into the bottom of every bottle These five words in my head Scream Are we having fun yet Yet, yet Are we having fun yet Yet, yet Are we having fun yet Yet, yet Are we having fun yet Yet, yet, no, no
  20. Instant envy! I adore the man. He also became my personal hero for his active stance against scalpers who try to buy up tickets to his concerts then jack the prices for everyone. Plus he also wrote Mr. Misunderstood, which is another favorite. Carrie Undersood's "Little Toy Guns" I wish more people would remember their bad relationship is having a negative affect on their children. In between the coats in the closet She held on to that heart shaped locket Staring at a family flawless But it ain't a pretty picture tonight Mom and daddy just won't stop it Fightin' at the drop of the faucet Cuts through the walls catastrophic She's caught in the crossfire Puts her hands over her ears Starts talking through the tears She's saying, she's praying. I wish words were like little toy guns No sting, no hurt no one, just a bang bang Rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns) Yeah, no smoke, no bullets No kick from the trigger when you pull it, no pain, no damage done (I wish words were like little toy guns) And just a bang bang rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns) Wish there was a white flag waving Or that they were both just faking And it was just a game they were playing Like shoot'em up cowboys Leave the plastic pistols in the front yard Throw away the score card And just turn off all the noise. I wish words were like little toy guns No sting, no hurt no one, just a bang bang Rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns) Yeah, no smoke, no bullets No kick from the trigger when you pull it, no pain, no damage done (I wish words were like little toy guns) And just a bang bang rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns) Oh I wish they didn't cut like a knife I wish they didn't break you inside I wish they didn't bang bang make you wanna run, yeah Like little toy guns No sting, no hurt no one, just a bang bang Rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns) Yeah, no smoke, no bullets No shot from the trigger when you pull it, no pain, no damage done (I wish words were like little toy guns) And just a bang bang rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns) Oh like little toy guns "Concrete Angel" too, but that one is so hard to listen to I end up bawling my eyes out every time. I wish people would pay attention to it though, and its message. Forget about "Alyssa Lies" the first time I heard it I had to pull over to the side of the road and cry while my lion dog licked the tears from my face and tried to comfort me. Those are the lyrics and songs that get to me, really bad.
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