ParisPaulette

Wow, you have just done something so phenomenally unsmart that I can barely believe it. In learning about this I see that you are really very ignorant and stupid, although you pride yourself on being smart and insist that everyone else around you must be smart too. I am so, so glad I never stooped to low revenge tactics although I had the opportunity more than once. But you've just done something that is sooo much worse than anything I could ever have thought up, and the best part is that you did it to yourself and I could have saved you if we were still friends and you hadn't used me then dumped me one last time. Karma really is a * * * * * and I think I like her. In reflection over the last four months of NC I have come to realize that I played my own part in this dysfunctional relationship. I let loneliness and boredom cause me to put aside that little voice in the back of my head and continue to open the door to you, whenever you wanted and to allow you to come and go as you pleased. So yeah, I did that to myself and in that regard you aren't to blame. Fool me once shame on you, fool me over and over again...well, you know the saying. Right now I just feel the giddy relief of someone who has narrowly escaped a bad car crash or found out the plane they missed was just reported lost in the mountains. And no, I won't be here when you decide I've had enough time to cool down and not be angry, so you can call and/or drop by to persuade me to be friends again. Instead I'm going to remain NC for the rest of my life with you, since neither one of us does the other any favors. It's not a healthy relationship for either of us and no I don't want to be friends, I don't love you anymore. I hope you find what you're looking for, but trust me it isn't me. Goodbye.

I found out that you have moved to another town, didn't tell the truth about what you were doing there to begin with, and I felt...only relief that you will not be showing up on my door unexpectedly. I also enjoy not having my heart jump up into my throat in either a good or bad way when I think it's going to be you. I know it's not and even if it is I have no interest in answering you again. I also am glad that now I know why you affected me the way you did, and why you kept pulling me back into the insanity. Once I could look at that, be honest with my own faults and mistakes and blind spots, and acknowledge that you are an emotionally abusive person with serious emotional issues I was done.

Ooooh, today I realized how boring you and the whole drama of our so-called un-relationship has been. What the heck have I been doing for the last six years of my life? It's so much nicer to have friends who like me and can pay me compliments with no strings attached and no veiled insults or bad behavior to put up with. Also I love not having to put with your gaslighting me. LOL

P.S. I want the last six years of my time you wasted back. And I want you out of my head for good, although time will give me that eventually. After all, before the last time you came back to me I was blissfully happy while you were on the other side of the world for a month. And today it just dawned on me I like not getting that sinking feeling in my stomach every time the phone rings. Did you really upset me that much all the time and how come I'm just now seeing that? Wow, I swing between feeling like I'm getting my life back and feeling like a loser for ever letting you get away with the emotional crap and abuse you laid on me in the name of "I'm just joking." Guess what, not funny. Not funny at all.

Oooh, I love this section of the forum. Okay, so here goes. I so,so, so badly want to send you the link to the song I've been playing over and over since I heard it at a live concert - "God Bless You" by the Black Veil Brides. Listen to the lyrics, even though I know you'll hate the song because Lord forbid a woman my age should still love that wild rock n' roll sound instead of the treacly excuse you call music. Andy Sixx must've been hurt by someone just like you, only he found a much bigger way to say "Get out of my life." So listen to it and here the words and know that what I'm feeling is what he says. "So God Bless You-ou-ou!" (P.S. Not really)