ParisPaulette

It's finally, FINALLY, warming back up here. And I and my poor dry eyes thank everyone that I can open the doors and windows and not have to feel like poor Spongebob under the heat lamp in Shell City due to being stuck inside with the heating any longer. Or at least not as badly, this is New Mexico after all, we have no humidity and I grouse if it gets above 50 as it is during rain..

[video=youtube;o_l4Ab5FRwM] ] For anyone out there who came back from a war, you aren't forgotten. Thank you.

Logs on, looks at something, thinks, "Peddle faster, I hear banjo music."

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Amen to that. My mother has "good insurance" and yet getting anyone to cover her hearing aids is a major battle and will have to come out of pocket to the tune of several thousand dollars. Like she doesn't need to hear or see, so no one is going to cover that. It's a luxury. And in the meantime she slips further away mentally, because now she can't hear what's being said, so she just tunes it all out and has stopped making eye contact unless someone reaches out and touches her hand and takes the time to speak to her slowly and clearly. Meanwhile I'm still trying to figure out the forms to even get healthcare at all for myself and my son. My non-US friends all laugh at us in the states for even saying we have universal healthcare.

I had to spend an hour on the phone today with someone to explain to them why if they have to explain what they wrote, instead of just writing it in the first place, then maybe they should go back and do a rewrite instead of getting mad that people didn't like what they wrote to begin with? Sigh, this is a new client and I'm not sure it's going to work out.

Hahaha, but don't you have a doppleganger somewhere or an evil twin you can blame it all on? I do actually. I am not making that up. I have another woman in L.A. who looked enough like me for people to mistake me for her all the time. And yeah, she was kind of evil. Someone showed me a pic of her once and yup, dead ringer for me. If it weren't the fact my parents had five siblings after me I'd have sworn we were twins separated at birth. I never did get to meet her though I wanted to. And don't feel bad Superman. I complain about other women a lot too. I sometimes see and hear things and I just do not envy what some poor guy is going through. Yesterday's rant was primarily towards two of my female friends, and then my second oldest son started in moaning about the crazy woman he's dating now, the one I told him was going to be nothing but trouble. In hindsight probably none of us is perfect. Except my cat, he will of course tell me every chance he gets that HE is total perfection and I must therefore bow down before the kittah. And I do. I'm a total sucker for the little fluffball and we both know it.

I swear if one more person whines about how terrible the opposite sex of either gender is to me I will lose my proverbial e. No stupid, it's not that "all (gender) are terrible. It's that YOU are an emotionally unhealthy wreck who keeps choosing emotionally unhealthy and emotionally unavailable people to go after in the romantic department. And then you moan and weep and gnash your teeth about how terrible all (gender) are. I am so annoyed with my friends right now, both sexes. And then I come on here and see the same crap. And if one more person tells me, "Well, you don't understand. You married a great guy, all the good ones are taken," I swear I will start flinging horse dung at them. Color me fed up.

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[video=youtube;7hqgC3W9GUI] ] Dancing and singing this with my husband to this song on New Year's Eve while my mother grins at us.

Crap, I need to sleep. But I can't. I keep going over how worried Mom's doctor looked. He's always so upbeat and cheerful and this time...he wasn't. It worries me. No scratch that, it scared me. Sigh, maybe a glass of wine will calm me down. My nerves are shot.

We got snow! Real honest to goodness snow!!!!! The horses were racing around and playing in it like little kids, bucking and racing each other and nipping in excitement. And then my poor little cat Toby came out to follow me to the barn, just trying to understand what all the fuss was about. He was NOT impressed. I ended up carrying him back inside, because he kept shaking each paw and was going to take forever to get to the front porch and just looked so forlorn. Sigh, it's a good Christmas when we get snow here. It's rare, but it happens. My friends in another part of the state have invited me to their lodge to go skiing in January though, apparently they're getting a ton of snow up in the mountains. Time to go be ski bunnies!!!! I can't wait.

Sigh, great Christmas. Love being in the snow and away from it all. Then of course I get a call from my mother's doctor reminding me to be there bright and early Monday morning for the consult and now I'm back to dreading what's coming. Lousy way to ring in the New Year. Ugh.

Well, that's a wonderful little bomb dropped into my lap now isn't it? I have no idea how to process this, so I'm wide awake in the middle of the night freaking out. With an elderly woman in pain that the hospital didn't want to take. Thanks man, thanks a lot. Our healthcare system is soooo broken.

My mother's a cat, a rather staid and dignified old girl suddenly going full-on hyper kittah over a red laser dot. I have never seen a cat so transformed from, "Ugh, I'm old, pass the walker will ya" to "Yahoooooo, gonna get it, gonnna get it. I'm young again!" And she does this hilarious little scooting crawl along the carpet that just makes me die laughing. I swear she does it harder just to make us all laugh. I love cats.

Son has no idea about it, doesn't know the kids who dropped off the Xmas basket. Will add to it and take to the local food bank tomorrow. Paying it forward. Life is weird.

Two people from my son's school just showed up at the door with a Christmas basket including a giant turkey. Astonished doesn't cover it, but they were evasive when I was like "Why are we getting this?" Then they said something like it's a food drive for some of the families. They were just a couple of teenage kids, so I didn't want to seem ungracious or cause a hassle so I took the basket. But now of course my mind is reeling. Do they really think we're a charity case? Did my son say something? I have horses, yes I know that makes my bills tight, but that certainly does not qualify me as poor or a charity case. This feels weird. I have no idea how to take this, especially given there were Christmases when I would have cried and been so happy for something like this. But I make an okay living now, we're not hurting, don't other people need this more? I have no idea how or why we got this, because we aren't poor. We aren't especially in need. Heck my kid isn't even on the school program that pays for lunches. He gets to do activities and field trips a lot of his classmates don't. Ironic that something like this shows up now when I really don't need it, years after when I did. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry or be annoyed. I think it's a bit of all three. Sigh, time to take this to my local food bank and then go have a talk with my son. Maybe it was just a nice gesture, but maybe a misguided one???? I have no bloody idea.

Yup, unfortunately the advice giver in me has a big mouth. Sighs. It's rough to be a frustrated wannabe therapist, but I just don't have the stomach for being the real deal. I tried. On a separate note, just reached the end of Jessica Jones on Netflix. Outstanding ending to the show! No cliffhangers, and thank you Netflix for that gift, but I still want more. Sigh, now I need to find something else to watch and stretch out and savor before it ends leaving me waiting another bloody year.

Random thought: I think I'm just going to stick to the Off topic section here for awhile. I feel like I'm in a war zone lately and the world is dark enough without some of the crap I've been seeing lately. I'm starting to feel like I'm shouting into a void and nothing is even being heard, so what's the point? Bleh. Mood, dark.

Exactly! Not to mention hampering my ability to immerse myself in the story by imagining the voices of the characters for myself. It's just the worst and I hate it when people give me audiobooks telling me, "I know you love to read and write, so I got you this great book..." Sigh, I know it's the gift that counts, but really I don't want to be read to like I'm two again. Unless it's my son done with funny voices--he's the master of that.

Burning Bright--nice little thriller kind of outside the norm in a way. It was over all too soon, but a nice little example of taking interesting characters and putting them in a tree then throwing rocks at them. Or in this case a hungry Bengal tiger.

[video=youtube;1FoDOWZyhGo] ] Such a twisted little short film and yet such a profound lesson in how we often refuse to look at what's the most obvious thing wrong in our lives. I laughed and then went, "Hmm, I've done that." P.S. Angry yoga made me laugh. Reminds me of L.A. Hahaha

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