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ParisPaulette

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ParisPaulette last won the day on April 3 2014

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  1. If he was mean to you who cares what else he may or may not have felt towards anyone else. From your description of the guy the only one he seems to truly love is himself. He enjoys lots of female attention and Amy was only one more page in that book, but as far as anything else goes she just probably got more air time with him, because she played along. Right now block and delete him, therapy is an excellent road to take to find out why you'd stay with someone who was horrible to you, and heal. Learn to pay attention to red flags at the first sign and not the thousandth one. Not judging, but it's definitely something you need to address, because telling someone they picture every new woman they meet naked is NOT normal conversation to the person you claim to love or be a partner to. In fact, come to think of it, it's not normal conversation for anyone. Also, ewwww. Really? Do you go around picturing every guy you meet naked? I don't know how the creep sirens didn't start blaring when he told you that. It was your cue to run then and not look back. Be glad you're done and be done for good. The guy's relationships with every woman including you were not normal. And you need to work on yourself before you ever enter into another relationship in order to figure out what normal is or isn't. And I'm not trying to be mean here, I've been where you are with a sociopath that wrapped me round the bend for six years. A fact I will forever be not happy about, but will use as a warning to others. When you see the first sign of "Hey, this doesn't feel/look/sound right," that's because it isn't. And you should pay attention to that. Bottom line you are fine to have broken up with him. But you would be fine whether he was an angel or a devil, because your choice matters and you do have a voice in what you find acceptable or not with a partner regardless of what anyone else thinks. I can't tell if you're still married to someone else or were married when you began with this guy, but that's another issue and one you need to address separately. It may very well be that it's a great idea to end all relationships and stay single while you get your life together. And I mean that sincerely, not to be mean, but to tell you to wake up to your own actions in all of this and to decide what you, not someone else, should be doing.
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzNRl6emK90&list=RDyZIummTz9mM&index=14
  3. I'm glad to leave 2017 behind. Ironic a favorite band would lose one of its own, a favorite singer of mine and his songs would be the ones I play when I think about my mother. RIP, may you both find peace and happiness wherever you are.
  4. The only advice I can give you is if you have to act like their mother trying to keep them from going to a party or hanging out with bad friends then you should dump them and find someone you don't have to do that with. This is so toxic. Yeah, he's probably cheating, and you are nagging and treating him like a jailer instead of being the woman who has so much going on her life that he and you understand there are plenty of other people out there to provide what he won't, if he wants to go that route. it's time to take the focus off of him completely, find something you always wanted to do, make new friends, go out without him and show him that if he's not interested in being trustworthy and someone you can count on there are other people who want to maybe take up that spot instead. Either he or you will have the realization that really he's not the only game in town and things will be better for you.
  5. Ghost ONLY if things seem weird or way off or they are sending up red flags of a serious nature. Otherwise, a simple text, "I don't see this going anywhere, thanks. Good luck in your endeavors" is fine. Then blocking and deleting and moving on is the way to go. I think it's a waste of time to draw it out and let the person "argue" their point or keep trying beyond the point where you know you aren't interested. No is a complete sentence and it should be said more often. That said sometimes abusive or people with serious red flags can turn violent if they are told no, so for safety's sake if anyone feels there is something wrong in those cases I advocate ghosting after a single text, "Not interested, thanks." One or two dates in a single text then never responding or letting them have a way to try and reach you to argue is probably the quickest and most decisive way to let someone go, so you can both move on to greener pastures.
  6. A single text, not a biggie. But this guy has serious red flags of the "my ex is crazy" "can I borrow your car" "I am going to pull our kids into this as quickly as possible to make you feel closer to me" "I need a favor" etc. etc. And the minute someone trots out "peace bond" and it's all just a giant ol' misunderstanding - or anything to do with court cases ongoing - it's time to bounce, OP. Also, this woman frankly didn't sound like someone who typically wants to chase off competition. They will usually be a whole lot more nasty and vitirolic and accuse the guy of cheating or insult you or name call. She didn't do that. She just told you in a rather friendly way to watch your back and not get so invested in this guy emotionally so fast without some wide open eyes. Also, here's another thing. How in hell did she get your number if she's not in contact with the guy and he "doesn't know her." Plus yeah, you are letting him have access to things like your car and child and life way too fast. Six months from now on the kids, maybe. A car, pffft, you are seriously leading with your chin if you let anyone else drive it and you have just opened yourself up to being used. If your'e married and together then sure let them drive your car once in a while since your'e both on the insurance and hopefully by that time you know you can trust this guy not to wreck it and leave you holding the bag, as you can drive theirs. But men or who women who start acting like "what's yours is mine" before you've even moved in together let alone dated for less than six months? Yeah, good luck with that. I've never seen a user who didn't pull that one and yes, I've dated a lot of men before marrying a good one. Overly charming? Check. Exes all crazy/out to get me. Check. "Oh hey, can I borrow that/have you pay for me/I'm just a big ol misunderstood good guy." Check, check, and triple check. Flattery, flattery, gosh I never felt like this before with anyone, the court system is out to get me, and we add more checks to that red flag list. Sorry OP, I know I'm dissenting from some others here, but there are just too many red flags showing up for someone you barely know. And you need to take a step back and ask yourself what's going on in your life that you are so hungry to believe this guy and try to quell the little voice in your head that made you post this in the first place. Personally I think it's too much drama, too fast and too many weird things. And your refusal to see it even though you know something is wrong or you would not have reached out in the first place is equally worrying.
  7. Every time I go to see her when I leave it's like I'm dragging another 100 pounds behind me. So tired for her, so tired for me. Neither of us knows when to let go. Another reason to hate August.
  8. Sigh, The Dark Tower. I know a book series isn't going to be the same in a movie, but I had hope. I mean the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings films were pretty decent on their own. Plus Idris Elba is yummy, so although I'd read the books and loved them, I decided to give the film a chance. I should have gone with my original impulse of just waiting until it hit Netflix. The film on its own, pretending I knew nothing about the original story, was just awful. I'm just hoping It will be better.
  9. I know I said no more dogs. And then my Husky died and I've been sad, in mourning. He was old, it was going to happen, I rescued him with heart issues so I knew. But still...you've been brought to me three times, people reject you because you have too much energy, you're a little rebel, a totally sweet nut, but just not the dog that will blindly obey. And yet today sitting there sad, lost in memories of my husky you brought me his favorite toy. After I stopped crying I played with you for an hour. Then I called the pound and told them I'm keeping you and tomorrow I'll pay all the fees and you will have a home. My husband is going to hit the roof, the cats will continue to be annoyed with me, but I don't care. You stole my heart today and forever. And Shadow, I think wherever you are, your'e smiling and saying, "Good, Mom got the message."
  10. The absolute heart-stopping astonishing beauty of the place I live in. Sat in front of the glass picture window last night and watched a light show of lightning in the clouds. No rain, no thunder, but it was spectacular. Like something out of a science fiction movie, but the full moon behind it. So beautiful. The Land of Enchantment indeed.
  11. [video=youtube;xNDNDYGA7P4] ] A girl after my own heart.
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