nao Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 we are not a couple, but we are both attracted to each other, we have a quite passionate "relationship" with fights, tears, pain, deep, intimate conversations, etc. Still nothing ever happened between us. Today, while talking about how we met, he said that we are very fusional together and that is rare. Still, he claims that wants to be just friends.... This is really confusing for me... Link to comment
Reg Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 I don't really know what he means by 'fusional' (is that even a real word!?) My guess would be that it's relating to fusion (the process of joining two or more things together to form a single entity.) Therefore, it's probably a comment about how the two of you work together well. Putting that aside for a minute, what do you want out of the relationship with this guy? If he's only interested in being friends but you are wanting something more then perhaps you should think about taking a step back from him, to avoid torturing yourself. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 It means he just wants to be friends but string you along with nonsense words. Sounds more like fission than fusion. Meaning you want to be more than friends but he does not. he claims that wants to be just friends.... This is really confusing for me... Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 we are not a couple, but we are both attracted to each other, we have a quite passionate "relationship" with fights, tears, pain, deep, intimate conversations, etc. Still nothing ever happened between us. Today, while talking about how we met, he said that we are very fusional together and that is rare. Still, he claims that wants to be just friends.... This is really confusing for me... My guess is he has an image or checklist of what he wants in a wife and you don't fit that checklist. Let that be and let your dreams go. He isn't ready even if you did end up together. He is a person, not a ride into your future. Drop the romance ideas and you will lose the vibe. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Believe his plain words not his pyschobabble. He doesn't want to be with you. He is choosing not to react to his feelings of bonding by actually bonding with you. So what he says is flattering but irrelevant and basically meaningless on any practical level if you are looking to be a couple with him. Watch the feet -actions -not the lips -except when someone tells you "I don't want to be with you" -then understand that of course he would never want to risk losing you to someone else if he actually wanted to be with you. I'm sorry. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 He is basically saying that he believes you and him are incompatible and that he doesn’t want anything more than friendship. Link to comment
Andrina Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 What he's attracted to is your crush on him--an ego boost for him. Yet he's just not that into you enough to want to date you. This "friendship" isn't meant to last because you want him as a bf and he wants you as only a fan. Pouring a lot of your emotional energy and time into him will prevent you from achieving your own goals. If it's a bf you want, join meet up.com and look for activities for singles in your age group. Because when he gets a gf, you will be put on the back burner, or he will end the friendship all together, because his gf won't want a girl around who has a crush on him. When you get a bf, he will likely play head games with you as he will be losing his cheerleader, since he cares more about what's best for him than how you feel. Do yourself a favor and slide this friendship to your back burner, where it belongs. Nobody has your back but you, so you have to be the one to plop your butt into the driver's seat and take charge. Link to comment
j.man Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Means he probably needs a better thesaurus. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Means he probably needs a better thesaurus. Took the words out of my mouth, j. Don't bother with men who can't clearly articulate what they want or what you mean to them, OP. Link to comment
Cope Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Honestly, believe him when he says he wants to be friends, don't get caught up in any connection you have, with hope that he'll change his mind. Believe him and remove yourself from any sort of relationship, until whatever romantic feelings you may have, dissolve completely. You may want to consider dating others. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Is this the same guy who told you he can only last one minute in bed? He told you back in April (or, at least that's when you posted) he only wants to be friends. Are you holding on lurking around and talking to him about sex because you're trying to change his mind about you? Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Maybe he meant 'delusional'? Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 It might be an esl thing. I'm not sure the fights and tears are a good thing. Do you know why things are so emotional with him? Sometimes we are drawn to individuals with a lot going on internally because they seem interesting and poignant or 'passionate' but it's definitely not healthy for the long run. It doesn't seem okay to me to be so overrun with emotions at the start. He doesn't seem like he's in a good head space and I'd be concerned that he'll drain you over time. You're already wondering what's going on and why he seems confusing (actions and words don't add up). When someone shows you he/she is confused, please believe that person. He says he wants to just be friends so pay more attention to that. Don't dwell too much on the other details. I hope you feel better soon. Link to comment
nao Posted June 7, 2019 Author Share Posted June 7, 2019 Thank you all for your input. The thing is with this strange relationship is that we are both taken. It's not that he is not into me, or using me, just that we are both taken, still attracted to each other... We are speaking in French, so that is why he used this "fussionel" expression, not because he is trying to use some stupid word to "describe" something... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Thank you all for your input. The thing is with this strange relationship is that we are both taken. It's not that he is not into me, or using me, just that we are both taken, still attracted to each other... We are speaking in French, so that is why he used this "fussionel" expression, not because he is trying to use some stupid word to "describe" something... But it is that he is not into you. If he were into you he would leave his current partner and pursue you if you were willing to leave your partner. It's very easy for him to express his attraction to you because he can hide behind the "but I'm taken so it can't go anywhere." He also knows you are ready to cheat on your partner -not a great look. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Thank you all for your input. The thing is with this strange relationship is that we are both taken. It's not that he is not into me, or using me, just that we are both taken, still attracted to each other... We are speaking in French, so that is why he used this "fussionel" expression, not because he is trying to use some stupid word to "describe" something... Do you mind me asking why you're associating with another man (other than your husband or partner) or attracted to another man in this way? It's generally not healthy to continue hidden affairs or live a double life. It conjures a lot of issues in the long run and problems (bigger problems than you have now) that you may not be able to solve easily. Link to comment
Cope Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 What you're doing is extremely unfair to your partner. Something's not right in your relationship, solve it or break up. This is ridiculousel. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Thank you all for your input. The thing is with this strange relationship is that we are both taken. It's not that he is not into me, or using me, just that we are both taken, still attracted to each other... We are speaking in French, so that is why he used this "fussionel" expression, not because he is trying to use some stupid word to "describe" something... Ask your actual partner his opinion. That would shut this nonsense down immediately...or result in an immediate breakup, which might be what you want. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 It sounds like a buzz word for "let's just be friends and keep it this way." He's just a pal or buddy and nothing more. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 Still, he claims that wants to be just friends.... Whatever hocus locus surrounds this claim, this is the one I'd understand clearly. However, I don't need any drama with friends, so I'd skip that and keep the guy far away. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 we are not a couple, but we are both attracted to each other, we have a quite passionate "relationship" with fights, tears, pain, deep, intimate conversations, etc. . Still nothing ever happened between us. Today, while talking about how we met, he said that we are very fusional together and that is rare. Still, he claims that wants to be just friends.... This is really confusing for me... Whats's bolded sounds a lot more than "nothing" OP. It's called having an emotional affair, which is a form of cheating for both of you since you're both in relationships w others. He did the right thing by telling you he just wants to be "friends" which is code for whatever there was, is no more. Leave the dude alone, stop trying to analyze his words, and move on, focus on your current relationship. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Thank you all for your input. The thing is with this strange relationship is that we are both taken. It's not that he is not into me, or using me, just that we are both taken, still attracted to each other... We are speaking in French, so that is why he used this "fussionel" expression, not because he is trying to use some stupid word to "describe" something... You're having an emotional affair. He is getting his emotional fulfillment from you and getting all his other needs met by his partner... same for you too, evidently. How are you having all this time to be "fusional" with someone other than your partner(s)? Link to comment
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