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I dont like my girlfriends new piercing


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So my girlfriend went and got nipple piercings knowing that i didnt like them and didnt tell me she was gonna get them. They are a really big turn off for me and i want to let her do what she wants with her own body and ive never been controlling before. The problem is this time I just really cant get over it its not like a jealousy thing or anything but i never was big into piercings and i just really hate nipple rings. She likes them and has no intention of getting rid of them. At this point im just looking for some advice because other than this our relationship has no problems but its kinda just killing my mood for sex or just to see her w her shirt off in general. Any advice?

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tell her. also tell her you absolutely understand and agree it's her decision to get them anywhere she wants, but it's simply killing your mood.


if everything is nice and dandy otherwise, consider that bodies change anyway and sooner or later the both of you would start to show signs that aren't attractive to the other. beyond that point, the attraction, including sexual attraction, is fueled by things other than appearance. do you have those things?


if she likes piercings a lot and they're unattractive to you, it may also be good to know whether she plans to get any more. which would be your deal breaker, if any?

personally, i would respect anyone's right to have them of course, but i find some downright gruesome and would consider them an incompatibility like Ms Darcy said.

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Hello. Have you told her how you feel about them? What makes you certain that she has no intention of removing them? (in no way suggesting that you are mistaken or that she should, just curious if this comment indicates that you have discussed it)


Kudos to you for being respectful of her person and choices; you sound like a thoughtful communicator.


And having an opinion is not being controlling - you have every right to your views, but again, I commend you on your sensitivity in your approach to expressing your feelings on this topic.

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I have a male friend who hates tattoos on women . He said if he got down to it and found she had tattoos it would turn him off , it is a deal breaker .


I asked him would he not see past them if he really liked her and he said no ...and if he was with a girl who then got one it would be over between them .


I was surprised at how rigid he was about stuff like this .


So ultimately it is your call . Myself I feel like I could get past stuff like that if he was a keeper . Maybe ask her for a compromise of her wearing a sexy bra .

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Well, if it's that much of a big deal to you, maybe you guys can come up with a compromise. Perhaps she can start wearing some nice lingerie for you and just not remove her bra for sex.


She won't be able to remove the piercings for some months, but eventually she can just take them out during sex.

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True she can do whatever she wants with her body, that's not the issue. However you can have deal breakers and if this is one of them you can break up. Just like if someone suddenly took up smoking or whatever. Their body, their right, but a deal breaker is a deal breaker.


Either try to get used to it or leave. Unfortunately those are your only alternatives.

They are a really big turn off for me and i want to let her do what she wants with her own body and ive never been controlling before. its kinda just killing my mood for sex or just to see her w her shirt off in general.
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This is a toughie, and I'm sure many go through this with all the ink and piercings out there.

Some people are into piercings and tattoos, and some aren't. When it's not a shared interest, it can definitely drive a wedge in the relationship.


It would suck to have this come between you two, but if you can't get past it, I am sure you will find a woman without piercings, and she will find someone who loves her piercings.

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To go a little further for some of the questions when she told me she got them at first i was a little mad because she didnt tell me and so i felt like she was hiding it from me knowing i wasnt a fan of the idea. So thats when she told me she doesnt plan on getting rid of them and obviously im not gonna say its them or me lol because its not a deal breaker. Our relationship has never been better but it sucks that something she really likes can kill my mood. Im pretty much at this point trying to get over how much i dont like these things so i can sort of just move on so if anyone knows some ways i can start to do that id appreciate it.

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Everyone has their deal breakers and there is no right or wrong, only what you can and cannot tolerate personally.


If it's a turn off to this degree for you, agree with others that you need to be blunt with her about it. She is certainly free to do what she likes with her body, however, all choices do come with consequences. In this case, the consequence is that it's affecting the sex life between you and with that gone, relationship will be gone too. It's an incompatibility between the two of you.


I would avoid framing it as "will this relationship be thrown away over....". The thing about compatibility is that you get to be you, she gets to be her and the two of you can easily tolerate each other's lesser qualities. If you can't easily tolerate, you should probably acknowledge that there is no long term future there due to significant differences and walk away while you both still respect each other.

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She doesn't need your permission to change her looks, do stuff to her body, etc. Get over that part. Maybe her style and preferences are just not your taste?


How long have you been dating? How old is she? It could have been a lot worse, lol

at first i was a little mad because she didnt tell me and so i felt like she was hiding it from me knowing i wasnt a fan of the idea.


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Do you feel like she got these specifically to stick it to you? It does seem odd she wouldn't tell you she was going, knowing how you feel so strongly about them.


Getting over it is easy, a lot of good sex. No avoiding the breasts, but enjoying them.


But I'd make sure first that this isn't about a power struggle for her. Do you think it is or does she just really love nipple piercings that much and didn't want to hear you complain and try and talk her out of them (and would you have?).

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Comedian Ron White on a loop earring an old girlfriend wore in her pierced nipple: “It looked like the plug in my grandmother’s bathtub.”


I'm not saying that was helpful. I'm just tired of it rattling around my head all day and causing me to giggle at inopportune moments.

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Reading your other threads about this girl here are the facts and what I think is going on:


She has been hot and cold and using the distance between you to break things off before.

You have been dating 2 years and she is still in high school so that means she was a sophomore when you started dating and you are in college.

She knew you didn't like piercings but got them anyways.


I think she knew you wouldn't like the new her and hoped you would break things off because of it. From what you have written before she has been pulling away and you have been working very hard to keep her in this relationship. It sounds like she has grown up and now wants different things than you do. I would guess even if you weren't long distance this would be happening.


What should you do? Cool off first. Just let yourself get used to the idea of the piercings and the shock of what she has done. Once that subsides you will be able to see things more clearly and not just react. Look at it this way. If you break up over this and try meeting someone new only to find your ex was the best thing that ever happened to you won't it look pretty stupid to have broken up of this small issue?


You are entitled to your tastes and likes and dislikes just like she is and you need to accept that.



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Body piercing is increasingly common among adolescents and young adults. Surveys of adolescents and young adults (13 to 29 years of age) suggest that 25 to 35 percent have a body piercing at a site other than the ear lobe


A consistent proportion of adolescents and young adults (13 to 18 percent) report long-term removal of their jewelry (though the piercing tract may remain patent); the reasons that they cite for removal include dissatisfaction, infection, and disinterest .


Surveys evaluating the association between body piercing and high-risk behaviors (eg, tobacco use, drug use, sexual activity) in adolescents and young adults have inconsistent results. Some suggest that the rate of high-risk behaviors is increased in those with multiple piercings or intimate (ie, nipple, genital) piercings"

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unless this is a brand new girlfriend, the piercings are the least of your problems. her disinterest in you and frequent break-ups should be turning you off much more than boob-accessories.


are you still long distance? if so, not like you get to see them very often. maybe she got three new ones since you posted this as well.

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