Jump to content

gebaird

Platinum Member
  • Content Count

    1,839
  • Joined

Community Reputation

1 Neutral

About gebaird

  • Rank
    Platinum Member
  1. I think a UX person needs to understand something about front-end web development, like CSS/HTML. I've also seen them work in tools like Photoshop to get the concept across, then the developers bring it to life. A tech degree is less about specific skills and more about "learning how to learn," if that makes sense. It's also a ticket into the industry, although there are other ways to break into it.
  2. I've been in the tech industry for 20+ years and have thought about doing UX. I think it's a great field with a lot of potential for growth as we move from high tech to high touch. I don't know all the answers as I haven't done much UX myself, but the UX designers I've worked with are great designers with the ability to really connect with the people who will be using their systems. A tech degree of some kind could help you get your foot in the door, then where you go from there is up to you.
  3. Even if they died, you would still be living with your hate and rage. I'm sorry for your situation, for the ways you were wronged, and for the things they took from you. They are clearly terrible people, but if you want to break the chain then work through your issues. Get into therapy and find a way to forgive. The release it will bring is something that can't be described until you feel it. Then you'll really be free from the abuse -- actually free, because it won't continue to live inside you.
  4. I found myself addicted to video games about 15 years ago. I was staying up late every night, and it was starting to affect my performance at work. I realized that if I invested as much time studying as I did playing video games, I could earn a college degree. So that's what I did, and I haven't played a video game since. I don't regret it at all.
  5. This is one of the most insightful and compassionate responses I've seen on this site.
  6. Don't break no contact, and try not to obsess over thoughts about how she could move on so fast, who she's with, if it's a rebound, etc. Pain is the only possible result of thoughts like that. They'll come up, of course (controlling thoughts is futile), but you can decide whether or not to believe them, follow them, attach to them, etc. Better to defeat them with a mental response like, "I don't know. I can't know, but it's her business, not mine. My job is to focus on my own healing."
  7. Abusers are often very good at looking good. People tend to love them, because they are excellent actors. This can make it hard for the abused person to get help, because no one who knows the abuser believes their story. If you like this girl, and she insists on keeping you a secret, you're going to have to get pretty good at acting yourself. While the people in her life are deceived about the ex, you're just going to have to put up with their poor treatment of you. If the situation gets too uncomfortable, you can always walk away from it.
  8. Every rose has its thorn. She may be sweet, but she'll make you bleed. I wouldn't bring up the details of what you saw. How well has it gone in the past when you've done that? I'd just tell her you've decide to cut off contact so you can heal. Find a relationship with someone who honors your trust enough that you don't feel the need to snoop.
  9. Closure, like forgiveness, is a gift you give yourself. Don't wait for an apology or explanation that may never come.
  10. So sorry you were treated this way. There are three possibilities that came to mind as I read your post: 1) She's found someone else and didn't have the courage to tell you 2) Her anxiety/depression are worse than you think and she's having a major episode 3) After 9 months the "falling in love" feelings have faded and she's looking to feel that again with someone else I understand the desire for closure, but I'm not sure driving to see her will bring you peace. It might even bring you a restraining order I'd let her go at this point. She may reach out to you in the future, and pe
  11. Short of giving her a "stop drinking or break up" ultimatum, you don't really have a lot of options here. Accept her as she is or let her go, but trying to change her won't get you very far. Two thumbs up on your decision not to drink until you are older.
  12. I think step one is to get a job and start saving up so you can move out of the house. College could be a good option as well. Eventually, you'll probably want some therapy to help you sort out your childhood, but for now focus on your livelihood.
  13. Because he wants to shag you, too? He sounds like a good guy to forget. I'd block him and avoid him IRL (good job not responding to that text!). Be glad you didn't waste more than 6 months on this loser.
  14. You're not the one hurting him; he hurt himself (and you) by choosing to cheat. He may be saying all the right words, but that doesn't make up for all the wrong actions. Tell the mutual friends you don't want to hear anything about him at the moment while you work to heal. If they can't respect that boundary, end the friendship. I recommend forgiving him, for your own peace. But letting him back into your life? That's something else entirely, and doing so could lead to a lot more pain than you are already experiencing.
  15. ^^^This is your only hope: change. She may or may not come back, but you will be better off in every way if you can start working through the things that are keeping you stuck in pain and dysfunction. I'd strongly consider therapy, if it's an option for you. Change is never easy, but if you're not happy with your life it's the only sane choice. Otherwise you'll keep getting what you've been getting.
×
×
  • Create New...