happpybear Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 Haha, you guys have a point. I'm not really feeling MO, actually so if he doesn't call I wouldn't be too upset, you know? I dunno why, I think it was all the calling that night and then the height thing...and the "sweet dreams" lol I just want to add, that I really do believe that Lumberjack has been exceedingly busy. He has gotten in touch with me about every other day, and has sent me pics of the stuff he is working on. I don't want to think he has been lying or trying to jerk me around--people get busy. But I also believe that he is a bit lukewarm about me--at least it seems that way to me, If he is lukewarm, then I am not a priority. It was the vague "we'll keep in touch" at the end of our last date, and the vague rescheduling our plans. We'll see how things go on Friday. I was talking to my brother about this, and he wasn't sure what to think, he thought it was a good sign that A was at least keeping communication with me open and initiating it (albeit through text), but wondered if the guy is just a bit of a dating doofus, or trying not to come accross as super eager, rather than being lukewarm...My bro just didn't believe that A would continue to contact me as often as he has been if he was not interested at least a little bit. But not to worry, I am still checking out my option on eH!! I have been communicating with another guy who seems interesting. He lives up north of the city, so unless he commutes into T.O. for work, I'm not sure how that will work, because I don't drive. I'll have to ask him when we get to that point. I have had a lot of matches this week, I will have to turn it off again soon so I can catch-up. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Lumberjack contacted me last night and the date is finally on for Friday at the museum. So I'm glad, it will be about three weeks since our last date, so this is so long overdue. I'm excited about it, though I will admit that this whole delay has resulted in me not being as keen to see him again. MO has not called me yet this week, though it's still early.. We have a date for Sunday but if date with Lumberjack goes well, I may cancel things with MO. we shall see. Too soon to cancel dates with others!! Unless MO is a serious no-go. You can always maintain a friendship with thim. Meet new ones too along the way if you can. . keeps you from very overly invested in the Lumberjack. It helps with your confidence too! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I think often people keep in touch via text especially to make sure there is a back-up person or plan - it's easy enough to do and it's an ego boost to keep in touch with someone who obviously is interested. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Oh for sure^^ Online dating practically forces you to multi-date, I expect that anyone I communicate with is communicating with others, and juggling, dating multiple people or seeing how something works out with someone else before going forward with another person--kinda like what I'm doing to MO. You can't be someone's first choice every time, right? Anyway, he made the date, so we'll see what happens on Friday. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Oh for sure^^ Online dating practically forces you to multi-date, I expect that anyone I communicate with is communicating with others, and juggling, dating multiple people or seeing how something works out with someone else before going forward with another person--kinda like what I'm doing to MO. You can't be someone's first choice every time, right? Anyway, he made the date, so we'll see what happens on Friday. I didn't mean it that way. I think that people (whether through on line sites or otherwise) might continue to communicate just in case in the future they want to see that person again, while the pursue/date other people. I do see what you mean -that people who are dating a number of people probably are somewhat more interested in one than the other. I don't think meeting someone through an on line site forces the person to multi-date or has any affect on whether the person decides to date more than one person at a time - it's up to the person how he/she wants to interact with the site and what it offers. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 ^^ ah I see, ya maybe that's what he's doing, anything's possible. Or he could just be busy. I don't really know, all I know is what he told me. But I don't want to assume the worst at this point...that's just gonna mess with my head and make me cynical.. sure jerks are out there, I don't want to assume he is one just yet. If this date goes ok and we decide to see each other again, then we'll see how consistent and reliable he is going forward. If it still takes weeks to see him or whatever, then I'll move on. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 ^^ ah I see, ya maybe that's what he's doing, anything's possible. Or he could just be busy. I don't really know, all I know is what he told me. But I don't want to assume the worst at this point...that's just gonna mess with my head and make me cynical.. sure jerks are out there, I don't want to assume he is one just yet. If this date goes ok and we decide to see each other again, then we'll see how consistent and reliable he is going forward. If it still takes weeks to see him or whatever, then I'll move on. I think if he cancels again with a lame excuse that behavior will be jerky but I was not suggesting he was a jerk at all or to be cynical - I was just responding to your musing that perhaps he is just bad at dating and that he presumably is interested in seeing you again because he's keeping in touch. In my experience the only relevant sign of interest was a planned time/place of the date. So far so good -you have that plan for Friday -have fun! Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 but I was not suggesting he was a jerk at all or to be cynical oh I didn't take it that way either, I just mean that it would be easy to assume the worst..all of this stuff has already crossed my mind anyway because I have been strung along before so I know what it feels like. I am just don't want to get stuck in that negative mindset from one instance,, even though it's easy to do so sometimes...if there is a pattern of crappy behavior that's a different story... I was just responding to your musing that perhaps he is just bad at dating and that he presumably is interested in seeing you again because he's keeping in touch. haha, ya, I really shouldn't ask my brother anything about male dating behaviour, he himself is a bit of a dating doofus Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 LOL. It's all a matter of perspective. When I was dating up a storm my perspective was that unless there was another date planned ,time and place, there was no next date -to me that was a realistic, not a negative perspective and it was essential to me not to put all my eggs in one basket because I wanted to get married and have a shot at having a biological child, so getting hung up on a near stranger or investing too much time in someone I'd only met a few times meant I could be foregoing other opportunities. Others feel differently and believe they should wait and see what each new person offers before trying to meet someone else. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 LOL. It's all a matter of perspective. When I was dating up a storm my perspective was that unless there was another date planned ,time and place, there was no next date -to me that was a realistic, not a negative perspective and it was essential to me not to put all my eggs in one basket because I wanted to get married and have a shot at having a biological child, so getting hung up on a near stranger or investing too much time in someone I'd only met a few times meant I could be foregoing other opportunities. Others feel differently and believe they should wait and see what each new person offers before trying to meet someone else. This is how I've always approached dating. No set date means no date. I wouldn't waste my head space on that, just focus on the dates I do have. Saves a lot of headaches and keeps me focused on guys who are actually interested as opposed to lukewarm, playing games, etc. I also think it's so much easier to make better dating decisions for yourself and walk away from red flags when you know you have another date tomorrow with someone else. You don't have that make it or break it laser focus on one person and a false sense of scarcity, like if you don't make it work with him, you will be alone panic driving you. Now if the guy was genuinely busy and comes back, that's all good too if I'm still interested and haven't met anyone who knocked my socks off. To me it's all about having options when I'm single. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 I went to a live sporting event last night with some friends, they sort of dragged me out, I'm not much a sporting event kind of gal, nor do I usually go out late on weeknights. I am so glad I went though, it was actually loads of fun and I met a dude! K was sitting with his friends beside me and he caught one of the free shirts that the cheerleaders were throwing out to the crowds. My friends and I were enviously congratulating him on his free shirt, and excellent catch. We chit chatted for the rest of the game and exchanged numbers, as we were leaving he gave me the shirt he caught, which was really sweet! I also got my friends to take some pics which will be good to add to my profile, I don't have many pics of myself and some are a few years old now--though I still look the same, except for my hair which is now chin length, so it will be good to have some more recent pics up on there. I got my first crazy person on eH. He messaged me a few days ago, and I replied, then he sent another message which I have not read yet because I have been busy. He sent another message last night, so I logged in this morning to see what was gong on--two messages in a row, in the message he accused me of ignoring him and said he was looking for someone that is not into "games"....!!!! crazy! because being busy means I am playing games...So I blocked him.... While perusing through through the activity list, it looks like A checked my profile on Saturday night... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Would A know that you know he checked? (I would think he would otherwise he would have viewed it a different way- like with a friend's profile or maybe as a non-member) Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Would A know that you know he checked? (I would think he would otherwise he would have viewed it a different way- like with a friend's profile or maybe as a non-member) Ya it's visible to me that he viewed me and he would know this. It all comes up in a chronological activity feed when you log in, shows everyone who has looked at your profile, communicated with you, and changed their profile, everything is date and time stamped. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Just came back from date with A I just don't know.... I just don't know! I was weird again...quiet and awkward and not funny at all.....jesus what the hell is wrong with me....any other guy I see I am not like this...I didn't feel nervous though, I didn't have that feeling, I was just quiet and slightly self-conscious He was quiet too, I think that is just how he is though..but he made me laugh. It didn't feel like a date though. There was no flirting, but then he doesn't seem like a flirt at all, and I was just being a weirdo and having enough trouble maintaining eye contact and proper conversation. And why can't I be normal around this guy? I was at the museum..a place where I am in my element, yet my mind went blank... What is that? Does it mean something? I don't know if I even still want to see him again....I am fond of him though, but I don't know if I feel anything romantic anymore...I'm confused because it didn't feel like a date..are we buddies? And I have no clue what he may be feeling, when we parted ways, he said he had fun and asked to keep in touch and I agreed. There was no kiss, he did not initiate it when we parted, but then neither did I. But then I left our last date feeling the exact same sort of thing...it's odd. It'll be interesting to see what happens. In other news, I confirmed the date with MO for Sunday. My bet is that I will bring my A game to that date, even though I am lukewarm about the guy... Link to comment
faraday Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Well, two thoughts. First thought...maybe you need more practise around guys you're crushing on? I mean...I go quiet around people that leave me awe-struck. It just takes more of that (talking to people you find awkwardly attractive) to become comfortable. Or...that there just wasn't romantic chemistry. You can find someone attractive. You can like them as a person. You can even want in their pants...but if that emotional connection isn't there...everything is at a standstill...it can't progress, Just some ideas. Hope things go well with MO Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 When you leave a date wondering if you are buddies, it usually means you are. At least in my experience. However, I would give it one more date with him to make sure. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I think you should not think about the date at all since there is no next date planned -that way you can have your A game on for MO. My take on it is that you two are not yet clicking and that is why he didn't try to make another plan with you because, like you, he's not sure there should be another date. If he calls and asks you out on another date you can think about it then. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Ya I agree with everyone, I would go out with him one more time to see if I can be normal around him. But if I'm still freezing up then I move on. I just feel that if after 3 dates I still can't feel comfy, there is a problem or just something totally missing. But I am not expecting him to contact me again TBH. I am usually not like that around guys. I used to be very shy and I have mostly gotten over it, but around this guy I turn back into my 22 year-old self. I have been on dates with guys that I felt chemistry with and was interested in and I was much more charismatic and naturally flirty without having to think about it--it just happened and everything flowed naturally. Link to comment
testcase Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Ya that sucks. Sometimes it happens. I guess normally if someone's off it helps if the other can carry the date and get you going / make you feel comfortable. It just doesn't seem like this is that type of guy. Oh well. Plenty of other fun dates out there. MO surprised you last time right? Maybe he'll surprise you again!! Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 So odd... So A just contacted me to tell me that he had a really great time yesterday....lmao...guess he likes the awkward chick... Well, I have been thinking about him all day. Replaying our date in my head. I really do have a crush. He was really funny last night, I laughed most of our date. He has this quick and clever sense of humor, I really like that. He's pretty handsome too... Link to comment
faraday Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Well...are you going to invite him out then? Idk how you do it...but usually I let the guy plan the first meet and first date, then I plan the third. Link to comment
testcase Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Ya that's a good idea. I'd suggest something fun with drinks. Take the edge off and get that first kiss!!! Everything's always easier after the first kiss. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Sweet Jesus ya I think I am gong to need a few drinks...the rate I'm going..lol..I cannot be a weirdo for the third time... Link to comment
faraday Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Alcohol: the best social lubricant. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 So we are going to go to a boardgame cafe on Wednesday. Since these places don't serve alcohol I will likely take a shot of some strong-ass liquor before leaving my apartment Link to comment
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