happpybear Posted January 20, 2015 Author Share Posted January 20, 2015 ya what killed me, was when I was on the date with S--who was clearly a few inches shorter than me, yet stated that he was 5'9" in his profile--he said that one of his eH dates did not look like her pic because she was slimmer in her pic, and that made it a bad date for him...I held my tongue, but like, really? Because misrepresenting your height isn't misleading either... Link to comment
faraday Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I just noticed your signature! I watched that this morning. Put me in such a great mood "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. " "Well, I just want it the way I want it." Me too Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Ya I love that movie, love Billy Crystal Link to comment
faraday Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Much like weight is a sensitive issue with women. How does a man feel when a women states she's `fit, athletic, thin or otherwise' and they happen to be curvy. . ? Or the opposite. .she says she's curvy and actually is not. There is someone for everybody. . all shapes and sizes . . This is why I always posted a bajillion full body photos taken within 3 months. It's all so...subjective. I mean, I would post "curvy" and I would have guys write me and say, "fat girls are curvy, you should put average or athletic" ummm...no. lol. I've got junk in my trunk...I feel hot...and I am happy with my body, and guys that like it should write me....and those that don't...that's cool too A guy will like my body or not, whatever I define it as. I think the tricky thing with height is that...unless someone is standing in a doorframe...it's hard to tell height from a photo. *shugs* Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 This is why I always posted a bajillion full body photos taken within 3 months. It's all so...subjective. I mean, I would post "curvy" and I would have guys write me and say, "fat girls are curvy, you should put average or athletic" ummm...no. lol. I've got junk in my trunk...I feel hot...and I am happy with my body, and guys that like it should write me....and those that don't...that's cool too A guy will like my body or not, whatever I define it as. I think the tricky thing with height is that...unless someone is standing in a doorframe...it's hard to tell height from a photo. *shugs* I state `my pictures are current, hoping yours are too' all I know is I don't ever want to see a look on a mans face when I show up and I don't look anything like my pictures. . Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 well, I heard from the Lumberjack last night He texted me around 9pm to say that he had finally finished that big job and asked how my week had been. I will admit, that I was really glad to hear from him (and perhaps I went a bit overboard assuming that he had disappeared).....but...he DID NOT set up another date, lmao. We texted back and forth a few times for about an hour and then I went to bed. I will not prompt him by asking him when he is free this week....So I hope he brings it up today, otherwise he might be out of luck for this week because my social calendar is filling up. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I agree with you and I hope you mean that you won't suggest it and that if he tries to chat again without a plan that you'll then type back politely that you really enjoy chatting with him but you don't have time for a text buddy right now. (or of course you can just provide no or brief, conversation-ending responses and assume he'll know what to do). If you keep texting back and forth you're telling him you're fine with giving him the privilege of your companionship without him having to make plans to see you. You didn't go overboard and for all practical purposes he has disappeared for now - he canceled the date and has not yet rescheduled. Until he does he is not someone who is on your dating radar (datedar?). Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 What I did last night when 30 minutes had gone by and he still had not given me any details as to when he would be free to go out again, was I started to respond in a way that didn't really help to drive the convo, and then I said I was going to bed and to have a good night--which was true I did go to bed. I feel uncomfortable just not responding back as a way to end a text convo--leaving someone hanging (with anyone--even friends, though they do that to me and it seems to be the norm). I always end the convo politely. I don't feel all that comfortable coming right out and writing "you really enjoy chatting with him but you don't have time for a text buddy right now" because I feel that can be taken the wrong way via text and come of as really frigid and rude--and while that might work for others, for me that feels just really curt and not my style. I will respond to him if he initiates a convo, but I will put a time limit on it now (like I did last night) since there is no date yet in sight and end the convo when I see fit. I have no intention to initiate any convo's with him. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I think it's rude that he canceled last minute and didn't yet reschedule or even mention it and certainly you should not be rude but being assertive is not rude especially if you type "I really enjoy our conversations but I'm getting too busy to be able to text back and forth -look forward to catching up in person when you are free again". But sure your approach should send a similar message. I also would check his on line activity -if he's not too busy to be active on line he's not too busy to make a plan with you, etc. Good luck! Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 "I really enjoy our conversations but I'm getting too busy to be able to text back and forth -look forward to catching up in person when you are free again". ^^ This is really great, thank you! I actually will use this statement...it doesn't come off as rude at all. It's all in how you word it, and sometimes I struggle with composing something that is nice but also not rude...especially via text message, because it can be taken the wrong way so easily--it's a fine line. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 ^^ This is really great, thank you! I actually will use this statement...it doesn't come off as rude at all. It's all in how you word it, and sometimes I struggle with composing something that is nice but also not rude...especially via text message, because it can be taken the wrong way so easily--it's a fine line. Yes, that is why I think texting is a terrible way to get to know someone. I had a major disagreement with a friend I've known for decades because of what she wrote in an email that she didn't realize came accross as hostile and angry (which surprised me but again it's typed not spoken). Can you have short phone calls instead? Link to comment
faraday Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 ^^ This is really great, thank you! I actually will use this statement...it doesn't come off as rude at all. It's all in how you word it, and sometimes I struggle with composing something that is nice but also not rude...especially via text message, because it can be taken the wrong way so easily--it's a fine line. I think it's the whole Canadian thing Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 I think it's the whole Canadian thing Hahaha, yep, honestly that's exactly it! Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 MO called last night around 7:30 and texted around 10--I missed both, I was at yoga and then in the sauna for awhile and got home close to 10 and then played with my dog, had a bath and then finally checked my phone..he called but didn't leave a message--that I find weird, I never know if I should bother to call someone back when they don't leave a message. just before 10pm he texted to say "good night, and sweet dreams". I texted back to say that I had been out and didn't see that he had called and to have a nice trip to Vermont, as he is leaving today to go on a snowboarding trip for the weekend--I did not repeat the "sweet dreams" because that feels like an icky thing to say to someone so soon. When I saw that he had called/texted I wasn't all that excited actually, and part of me felt glad that I wasn't around to answer the call. Not sure why, because we had a pleasant time on our meet--maybe it was the "sweet dreams" thing...probably just too soon to tell with this one. Link to comment
faraday Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Hahaha I feel that way about sweet dreams too....but it seems to be a thing men from OLD say. Most of them said it to me. Even Jay So try not to hold it against him. And....I hate listening to my voicemail...so I never leave messages. I call, if I don't get a person, I text. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
WithLove Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I never leave voicemails, simply because I hate checking my own messages. Besides, they can see that you called. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Huh, I must be old-school, I always leave a message, but ya I understand the logic, it kinda is annoying to log into voicemail. The Lumberjack also texted me this morning, to say that he does want to see me again, but is busy in the evenings/nights this week. He is doing a lot of painting work and that requires a lot of waiting for layers to dry and he can't say for sure when he will be done each night so he doesn't want to risk having to cancel again. This weekend I am booked up already and he has family obligations. He said next week is looking good though so far, and he will let me know. So I'm glad that he cleared the air there--I feel better about it. We shall see if he follows through though. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Huh, I must be old-school, I always leave a message, but ya I understand the logic, it kinda is annoying to log into voicemail. The Lumberjack also texted me this morning, to say that he does want to see me again, but is busy in the evenings/nights this week. He is doing a lot of painting work and that requires a lot of waiting for layers to dry and he can't say for sure when he will be done each night so he doesn't want to risk having to cancel again. This weekend I am booked up already and he has family obligations. He said next week is looking good though so far, and he will let me know. So I'm glad that he cleared the air there--I feel better about it. We shall see if he follows through though. This is good news! It is too bad that others flakiness can cause us to be hyper vigilant with others and assume the worst. It's a good reminder that no matter what we need to keep an open mind while being careful to not get attached to an outcome. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I think that's positive although if next week works, why didn't you two make a firm plan for next week? Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 I think that's positive although if next week works, why didn't you two make a firm plan for next week? Dunno, He didn't really explain why and I didn't ask, Perhaps he is waiting on locking down work contracts etc. so he doesn't know what days yet he will for sure be available. I told him my availability, so that he can juggle things if he needs to. He said he would get back to me. So I will let him do just that. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 This is good news! It is too bad that others flakiness can cause us to be hyper vigilant with others and assume the worst. It's a good reminder that no matter what we need to keep an open mind while being careful to not get attached to an outcome. Ya true, it's hard not to think the worst sometimes. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 So far this week, eH has sent some really lousy matches. I have only responded to two of them. Link to comment
happpybear Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 Lumberjack contacted me last night and the date is finally on for Friday at the museum. So I'm glad, it will be about three weeks since our last date, so this is so long overdue. I'm excited about it, though I will admit that this whole delay has resulted in me not being as keen to see him again. MO has not called me yet this week, though it's still early.. We have a date for Sunday but if date with Lumberjack goes well, I may cancel things with MO. we shall see. Link to comment
faraday Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I think with the way A has been...don't cancel things with MO because of him. I know you really like A...but until he shows that you're a priority...don't make him a priority. Please I like you, I don't want to see you get jerked around..and it's easy to get jerked around when you're hung up on someone. Repeat after me: "A is only an option. A is only an option." xoxo Link to comment
testcase Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Lumberjack contacted me last night and the date is finally on for Friday at the museum. So I'm glad, it will be about three weeks since our last date, so this is so long overdue. I'm excited about it, though I will admit that this whole delay has resulted in me not being as keen to see him again. MO has not called me yet this week, though it's still early.. We have a date for Sunday but if date with Lumberjack goes well, I may cancel things with MO. we shall see. Hmm well don't cancel mo just yet! The lumberjack seems to be giving you a similar treatment J was giving me. I think it's never a good sign if it takes 3 weeks to see someone you're excited about. I'd say keep your options open for a while. Plenty of time to hunker down in a bit. Link to comment
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