faraday Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Lol you're funny. Glad you have another date lined up Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Haha, it took me half an hour to compose my text asking him out (ya I'm lame and I texted) and I was sweating when I sent it...Ridiculous!!! Seriously I have problems Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Why did you ask him out? I think it's nice, sure, but I'm not sure why you didn't let him make the plan since he is obviously interested in you. I would avoid all alcohol if you truly want to get to know him as a person and make good choices about whether to see him again after the next time. I think your idea for the date is really fun and will let you get to know him in a relaxed way (without alcohol). Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Nah, I don't have an issue planning dates, I have planned the third, fourth dates before, and actually I was the one who asked out my last BF for our first date. Maybe I'm just less traditional. A little bit of alcohol will be just fine, no worries I'll still have my wits about me! Link to comment
faraday Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Haha, it took me half an hour to compose my text asking him out (ya I'm lame and I texted) and I was sweating when I sent it...Ridiculous!!! Seriously I have problems You make me laugh. I do things like that too Link to comment
quirky Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 What is it about him (A) that makes you awkward? Suprised there's no flirting in your dates..maybe you're both shy? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Nah, I don't have an issue planning dates, I have planned the third, fourth dates before, and actually I was the one who asked out my last BF for our first date. Maybe I'm just less traditional. A little bit of alcohol will be just fine, no worries I'll still have my wits about me! Oh it's fine to ask him out -just thought you did it because you thought you had to -and he seems sufficiently interested to ask you again as well! I hope you decide to go sans alcohol to get to know this person - but that's up to you - I think you can handle the nervousness/awkwardness perfectly fine without and the risks and downsides of drinking are not worth it. That's the last I'll write about it. Sorry if it was too much. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Oh it's fine to ask him out -just thought you did it because you thought you had to -and he seems sufficiently interested to ask you again as well! I hope you decide to go sans alcohol to get to know this person - but that's up to you - I think you can handle the nervousness/awkwardness perfectly fine without and the risks and downsides of drinking are not worth it. That's the last I'll write about it. Sorry if it was too much. Oh no, not too much. I'll be fine if I have just a wee sip of the Schnapps before I head out, it really does calm the nerves, haha, peach is my favorite. I usually don't like to drink in the beginning stages either, because I can't handle much alcohol either (especially wine), when I went out with R he planned our meet at a win bar, I choose a non-alcoholic drink. I just wanted to ask him out, I didn't feel like I had too, I'm sure he would have gotten to planning another date for this week, but I dig the guy and I wanted to plan something I feel really good about it! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I understand why you asked him out -good plan - it's whatever you're comfortable with. Have you looked into breathing exercises to help with those kind of nerves? I recently started using a new one when I have trouble falling back to sleep - takes a total of 18 seconds and it works very well (sometimes I have to repeat it up to two more times). Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 What is it about him (A) that makes you awkward? Suprised there's no flirting in your dates..maybe you're both shy? I am trying to figure this out myself. I think perhaps because he is a quiet guy, I have a hard time reading him, it's not obvious to me if he is into me, especially when there is no flirting, and no touching. Although, Last date I noticed he gave me some sidelong glances. I think he is a tad shy, but also just reserved. Coupled with he fact that I think he is really cool and interesting and we have so much in common--more than anyone I have ever met, it's tripping me up and making me shy. I'm sure if we just kiss and get it over with, everything will be fine, lol. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I understand why you asked him out -good plan - it's whatever you're comfortable with. Have you looked into breathing exercises to help with those kind of nerves? I recently started using a new one when I have trouble falling back to sleep - takes a total of 18 seconds and it works very well (sometimes I have to repeat it up to two more times). yes actually, there are some good yoga breathing excercises, I will probably meditate too--anything and everything to make sure I will be able to be myself on the date! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 yes actually, there are some good yoga breathing excercises, I will probably meditate too--anything and everything to make sure I will be able to be myself on the date! Sometimes even just having a pre-date ritual in mind helps as a distraction. Have fun! Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Had the date with MO today....that guy totally lied about his height! I wore flat boots today and he is still shorter than me...I think he is 5'5", that's a far cry from the 5'11" that's on his stupid profile. He didn't seem to enjoy the venue though...he kept complaining that it look like a flea market and not an antique market...I was like...these are antiques..this is what antique markets are like...we're not at Sotheby's... After we were done walking around (1.5 hours) he asked me to go to coffee and I declined saying that I had friends coming over (I don't), I just wasn't interested, he kinda annoyed me a bit. I won't be seeing him again. Link to comment
faraday Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I'm shocked that people lie so much. I mean...I can see an inch or two...but more than that? I mean...it's going to be noticeable I wish you lived here, I'd totally go on "dates" with you!! Antique shopping is so fun! Had the date with MO today....that guy totally lied about his height! I wore flat boots today and he is still shorter than me...I think he is 5'5", that's a far cry from the 5'11" that's on his stupid profile. He didn't seem to enjoy the venue though...he kept complaining that it look like a flea market and not an antique market...I was like...these are antiques..this is what antique markets are like...we're not at Sotheby's... After we were done walking around (1.5 hours) he asked me to go to coffee and I declined saying that I had friends coming over (I don't), I just wasn't interested, he kinda annoyed me a bit. I won't be seeing him again. Link to comment
faraday Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 yes actually, there are some good yoga breathing excercises, I will probably meditate too--anything and everything to make sure I will be able to be myself on the date! I wrote a reply but I don't see it here...it must have gotten eaten. I try to keep really busy before a date...I watch a movie in the bath or I meet up with friends...I do whatever I can to not think at all about the date. I talk on the phone on the way to a date...so that when I pull up in the parking lot of the date, that's the first opportunity I've had to even think about it. Then I'm super relaxed and....me...on the date...when I think...I get awkward lol Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I'm shocked that people lie so much. I mean...I can see an inch or two...but more than that? I mean...it's going to be noticeable I wish you lived here, I'd totally go on "dates" with you!! Antique shopping is so fun! Dude, I know right? what's wrong with people, I can understand an inch or two as well, I used to think I was 5'8", but like 6 inches...?? I love antique hunting too, so much fun stuff. I found a pioneer map of my hometown! So I bought it, I have to get it framed. I am on a mission to replace all my mugs with those cute old lady china tea cups and saucers. But I don't want a matching set, just a bunch of randoms. I love those tea cups, they're so dainty! I didn't see too many today, but I am going to try Goodwill or Value Village, they are probably cheaper there I also saw this Guinness poster that I wish I had bought. I already have one (it's my fav beer), but this one was really cute, I hope they still have it next week Link to comment
faraday Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Dude, I know right? what's wrong with people, I can understand an inch or two as well, I used to think I was 5'8", but like 6 inches...?? I love antique hunting too, so much fun stuff. I found a pioneer map of my hometown! So I bought it, I have to get it framed. I am on a mission to replace all my mugs with those cute old lady china tea cups and saucers. But I don't want a matching set, just a bunch of randoms. I love those tea cups, they're so dainty! I didn't see too many today, but I am going to try Goodwill or Value Village, they are probably cheaper there I also saw this Guinness poster that I wish I had bought. I already have one (it's my fav beer), but this one was really cute, I hope they still have it next week I collect those old teacups my grandmother left me a bunch...I have 6 of them. I can't use them for coffee...I like big rounded mugs for coffee (I'm actually a bit crazy about my kind of mugs lol. Coffee tastes gross out of everything else) Guinness is my favourite too!!! Well, one of them. I'm a beer wh$re, I like picking up stouts and porters...have you had aphrodisiaque? It's a beer from Quebec with vanilla and cocoa. It makes me so happy lol. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I think the meditation will help me to stop over-thinking everything. But, today I just have this feeling that the date will go well, I feel pumped-up since I asked him this time, I just feel really good about it. I kinda always feel a boost when I have a date that I planned...maybe it's a control thing. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 No I have not tried that beer, I'll have to look for it that sounds really good. I really dig Mill Street Brewery's Cobblestone Stout, and Hockley Valley Brewing Co.'s Dark Ale. I bought a bottle of ginger mead the other day to try, I really want to drink it but I can't get the darn cork out!!! It's like a champagne cork and it's just not coming out Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 5'11" to 5'5" Seriously?? 5'11" is only one inch away from 6 FEET TALL. Clearly he must know he's not foolin' anyone. . lol Good grief. .. and a whiner too boot' Sorry Happy. Next! Link to comment
faraday Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 No I have not tried that beer, I'll have to look for it that sounds really good. I really dig Mill Street Brewery's Cobblestone Stout, and Hockley Valley Brewing Co.'s Dark Ale. I bought a bottle of ginger mead the other day to try, I really want to drink it but I can't get the darn cork out!!! It's like a champagne cork and it's just not coming out Can you use a corkscrew to get it out? Idk if I've had those beers. Every week I go pick up two single, fancy bottles of beer...I've had so many that I remember very few (unless I love them- like St Ambrose oatmeal stout, or what the huck?) I really like Canadian beer. We have several breweries in town...and all are fabulous. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Date 3 with A Much better than the other two, I was able to be normal! There were some awkward moments though, which I blame on A this time, not me. While in the boardgame cafe, we sat side-by-side on the same couch and played scrabble. I was sitting angled toward him, he sat straight not facing me. Once we finished the game and were still finishing our drinks we were just chatting, and he had his arms crossed totally accross his chest...facing away from me not really looking at me...so I thought, that's not a good sign at all. but then, maybe he is feeling shy, he was sharing info from his childhood, so maybe he was feeling vulnerable, I get that..but it is also a sign of total disinterest. So then I went up to pay our tab, (he was shocked that I had offered to pay, I explained that since I asked him out, then I pay--I think he was pleasantly surprised haha). While I was waiting to pay, I turned and saw him texting on his phone--so once again I thought that was a bad sign. But then he had asked if I wanted to go to a restaurant afterward so I guess if he really wanted to get out of the date he wouldn't have followed through with that. Then we went to a restaurant because he had not eaten dinner yet, we had a nice convo..really the convo tonight was the most fun and relaxed that it has been thus far (minus the arms crossed thing) and I really enjoyed talking to him, it just felt easier for both of us. So as we were parting ways, he leaned in to give me a kiss, and we sorta missed each others lips, like we kissed the side of our lips...lmao...I don't know if he maybe meant to kiss my cheek...lol I dunno..But I wanted that damn kiss on the lips, so I tried!!!...yeah, it was a touch awkward. Then he smiled at me and *giggled* LMAO.......It was cute actually... He said good night, and that was it...no "keep in touch" or "I'll call you" or "let's do it again" but then I didn't either, so... once again, like all the other dates we have had, I am unsure what will happen next. We shall see... Link to comment
testcase Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Yay for a better date! Boo on that kiss. Honestly 3 dates without making out would put me on high alert. I mean maybe this guy is super shy. Honestly I've been there. I'm a shy guy. But if making out doesn't happen by date #4????? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 It sounds like you are both ambivalent. I wouldn't read into the texting - he wasn't doing it right in front of you and maybe it was an urgent matter. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Yay for a better date! Boo on that kiss. Honestly 3 dates without making out would put me on high alert. I mean maybe this guy is super shy. Honestly I've been there. I'm a shy guy. But if making out doesn't happen by date #4????? Really? The modest kiss didn't really phase me at all. I would have been put-off if he started making out with me (on the street corner in the -20 degree weather) especially considering this was our FIRST kiss. to go from 0-60 in just one date would have been awkward to me--especially considering how our dates have not been overly affectionate/flirty by any means. I was hoping for a modest smooch, no tongue, and that was exactly what I got. Though, based on his body language during the first half of the date, I was really wondering if he was going to kiss me at all. He loosened-up more in the second half, was mirroring me. But once again, and as always, I do wonder if he is ambivalent--or just shy/slow-paced. I was asking him questions about his dating past, and he is most definitely not an experienced dater. His previous GF's were all friends first--they "hung-out" and sort of ended up together, so no traditional dates and all the protocol that goes along with it. This is the way that I mostly "dated" in university. I think this explains a lot. @Batya I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn't say that I am ambivalent. I could have said more regarding planning another date, after the kiss, but I froze-up and got tongue tied. I think i did a really good job of relaxing and being fun during the date, though, I was much more relaxed and open in conversation and body language. Now whether or not he picked-up on that is another story, lol. But I do wonder if he is on the fence. Time will tell! Link to comment
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