annie24 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 bah. I do hope you let INS know what is going on. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Hugs to you again!! After Thurs., when you start NC, you can finally start healing properly and moving on. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Yes ,tell immigration so you and your family are not on the hook for anything. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 This has to be the most f----- up break up in all of relationship history. Last week it was 'the feelings def. won't come back', now it's 'you never know what the future holds but right now this what I know I want.' Let's be a coward and not talk to my wife about how I'm feeling so we might save our marriage but after dropping the biggest bomb shell of her life on her I'm going to try to be an honorable b------. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 'you never know what the future holds but right now this what I know I want.' I hate that, that is such a copout. Sorry, no, you don't get to play, "maybe we might get back together in the future" when you are talking about divorce. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 I don't think he is. He's told me many, many times that I need to move on and not wait on the off chance something happens. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 What a ........ He's leaving the door open so he can crawl through it like a snake when his dream life doesn't work. Tell him to stick it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 i'm just shaking my head here. um, it's one thing to say, "we've been in therapy for 6 months, the relationship isn't working, we need to move on." but seriously, unless you've neglected to tell us a big chunk of the story, this just came out of nowhere, and he's telling you to move on (as if he's someone you had 2 dates with). Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 It's like there has been a personality shift. Seriously. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 sounds like it, huh? Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 oh, and i've had many breakups where the guy says, "well, you never know what the future holds...." Like Vic said, he's holding the door just a crack open in the 1% chance that he wants back. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 For me it's just the fact that it went from 'nope, feelings wont change' to this. And naturally at this stage I can't say I wouldn't consider letting him back. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 This has to be the most f----- up break up in all of relationship history. Last week it was 'the feelings def. won't come back', now it's 'you never know what the future holds but right now this what I know I want.' Let's be a coward and not talk to my wife about how I'm feeling so we might save our marriage but after dropping the biggest bomb shell of her life on her I'm going to try to be an honorable b------. Just don't read into the words - it's a bread crumb. A real effort would be going to marriage counseling. "You never know what the future holds" to me means, sure, you might get together again, or aliens could land on earth, or there could be peace in the middle east! ANYTHING can happen!!! But it's not any kind of a promise, so it's best to treat it as if it's over and not to hold out false hope. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 Which logically I know but it's so hard not to. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 You know who he really is now. The guy you married, wasn’t this guy. He is showing his true colours. Link to comment
zentoCC Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 That's the most selfish thing I've ever heard. He's made his choice and now he's going through with it, he's trying to keep you as a back up incase it doesn't go to plan. I hope you have a better day today. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I'm so sorry this happening to you. This is one of the most f'd up things I have read on here, which makes me even more angry with him because you met each other on here, so he has clearly read threads from broken hearted people during his time here. He KNOWS how much this can hurt. *sigh* Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Yeah ,I agree it is the craziest crap I've ever heard. I still can't shake this feeling that there's something going on but I'm sure it will come out in the wash. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I feel the same way too, Vic. Sort of a sinking feeling. However, if anything is going on, these things have a way of making themselves known when it comes to breakups/divorces. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 It's like he's using all his ENA knowledge to try to soften the blow but at the same time he's forgotten what heart break feels like. I know I use to joke and call him a robot but this takes it to an extreme. I did not want to get up this morning. I finally fell asleep about 3 am because of a blasted headache. I left my bedroom door open last night for the children to explore the house without the dogs (they go into the bedroom with my aunt and uncle at night). Shadowfax has clearly been bottling up her crazy because I swear she ran around this house like a banshee last night for 45 minutes. Jasper, being the loveable idiot that he is, ate somethig he shouldn't have and proceeded to puke on my bedroom floor. Ah, the life of a crazy, single cat woman. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 ugh, there is really no way to soften the blow. ugh. hugs. hang in there. you said you are going to a job fair tomorrow? that will be good i hope. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 I am. I'm going to an open interview today (they hold interviews for 2 hours Tues, Wed, and Thurs for this plant position. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Good for you!!! I'm glad you are getting out there and restarting life. Seriously, you are so strong. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.