OG's Random Ramblings

[BigKK]

It's easy to talk big games when you're fantasizing out in the ether, it's another thing to deliver when the rubber meets the road. The whirlwind of the romantic aspect of it all was blinding to him. He was intoxicated with his own ideas. In love with his own ideas, I think.

 

He was a boy, not a man.

 

Yes, I do hope your job search goes well!

 

TOV hit the nail on the head.

 

as usual, I completely agree. The issue sometimes with long distance is you can sometimes go to fantasy land, and I think he was just completely fantasizing and texts like that are just dopamine overload of his fantasies. It's sad he didn't have the courage and strength to put up a fight for you, you're worth it and deserve much much more.

[OptomisticGirl]

My uncle and I went and got a good portion of the rest of my things today. Very emotional day. My stomach was in knots the entire 2 hour drive there. Once there it was what I can only describe as an out of body experience. I just steeled myself, got my things, and answered all his questions yes or no. My uncle told me to go get gas and he had a talk with L. The core of it is my uncle could tell in his eyes he wasn't going to try and that's over. Forever over. I don't know why but hearing it from my uncle closed something in me that I hadn't realised was still open. Now I'm just battling the onset of a headache (probably brought on by crying and the two glasses of wine I had when i got home).

 

Time to just suit up and heal.

[Seraphim]

Hugs . That must have been so difficult.

[annie24]

Hugs...........

[renaissancewoman101]

Hugs to you... Hug your kitties close tonight for some comfort.

[Firiel]

Hugs. I'm so sorry. I think I know exactly how you feel, and it's not easy. And it's not fair.

[redrose85]

Oh hun. I am sending you so many hugs and cookies tonight.

[justagirl2]

I can't believe he really just won't try. Makes me question if this relationship was ever real for him? I mean, I was never on the "green card" bandwagon, but now I'm starting to wonder. His coldness is alarming.

 

You are a very strong girl OG. Hang on tight. Also, I would like to say that you are SO young. I am 27 and still not married. I want to have 4 kids and a lot of puppies. I honestly think I'm young and still have a lot of time to accomplish all that. And so do you! Love will happen for you again and marriage and kids too. You are SO, SO young still.

[OptomisticGirl]

He told my uncle it wasn't about the green card. I think in the end we had this great love story that was written for Hollywood. But when things started changing instead of communicating with me to see if it could be saved, he didn't. What happened to us is the oldest reason for divorce - he didn't communicate. An when you don't communicate, you can't fix the problem.

 

I am angry at him for how he handled the situation. I'm angry that he didn't communicate with me. I'm angry he isn't trying. But I can't make him feel something that isn't there. All I can do is pick the pieces up and start to heal.

 

In none emotional news, I got the plant job. I'm still applying at local offices and one of my uncle's friends is spreading the word (he knows all the offices in the area). But the plant is a job and with my hives I just need a source of income.

[Fudgie]

Nice! I hope you can find a nice admin job soon, you know? Some place with good insurance. When do you start your job? When will the new insurance take effect?

[OptomisticGirl]

I start Monday at 6:45 am. Ugh.

 

It's starting as a temp to hire so probably not until I'm hired on.

[annie24]

yay congrats!! is this an admin job or a plant job?

 

I would hate hate hate 6:45 AM, but then again, at least you'll have time in the afternoon to do your thing.

 

yay B!

[OptomisticGirl]

Plant job for now.

 

It's made worse by the 40 min drive one way. It's short term though.

[Fudgie]

Who knows, maybe you will get the benefits. I know when my ex worked as a temp for 6+ months, he had health insurance. Just not a "guaranteed" position. He was on probation, essentially.

I have to be at work at 6:00AM when I work day shift. It sucks. I feel your pain. Good news is, you do adjust quickly to it. Just hard because I am naturally a night owl.

[annie24]

Plant job for now.

 

It's made worse by the 40 min drive one way. It's short term though.

 

yeah, at least it will have the cash coming in, and it gives you time to focus on work and not thinking about the breakup. The commute sucks, ouch. Will you come out with money after gas?

[OptomisticGirl]

I should, yeah. It won't be pretty but hopefully it's only short term

[Seraphim]

I'm glad you got a job right away look at you go!

[annie24]

I know, I am impressed! You just got right out there and got a job.

[OptomisticGirl]

It helped a little that I knew one of the staffing people (friend of the psuedo family) - and my previous plant experience didn't hurt.

 

I'm taking today to unpack my car and get my room set up. We unpacked all the big things from my uncle's car last night but I wanted to wait and unpack my car this weekend to give me something to do, to keep me busy. I'm trying to enjoy the fall weather (it's my favorite time of year).

[hers]

What kind of plant job is it?

[OptomisticGirl]

I package like rubbing alcohol, make sure the bottle is filled, the label is on straight, the lot number is on clear.

[luminousone]

Big hugs OG! You got your stuff- and you made it through that day!

 

So glad your uncle and other family members are there for you in a big way.

 

So impressed you have a job already!

 

The good thing about early shift is that you get off early and you have time to walk in real sunlight, go workout, get errands and doctor appoinents done, etc. But- you have to have the self discipline to go to bed early...

 

No rush hour traffic at that early hour either!

[Firiel]

Congrats on the job!

 

I'm also quite impressed you have a job already!

[renaissancewoman101]

Congrats on the job.

[Fudgie]

You're going to do great, OG. And LUM is right, going to work so early is drag but you do get off earlier in the day. So you can schedule afternoon doctor's appointments and such and you don't always have to wait for a day off or to take a day off to do so. That's quite nice.

Or who knows, maybe you will work more than 8 hours in a day. Most of my shifts are 12 hour shifts, which aren't as bad as they sound once you get used to them, and it means more days off for meee....

 

I think you will find an admin job soon, with your uncle's help and everything. I'm so proud of you for getting on the ball so quickly. You're a real go-getter!