annie24 Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 i should have ordered a pizza instead. nice and cooked. You are right BEG26 - salads are high up there on the cause of food-borne illnesses because as you note, they're not cooked and may not be washed well enough. gah. i should have ordered something greasy and fried. that will teach me to be watching my weight! i remember after a norovirus incident that our whole family had one year at christmas, my late aunt sad, "oh, this is great, just 5 more noroviruses and i'll be at my goal weight!" hehe. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 feeling better... cleaned up my apartment a bit, changed my sheets, went to go buy pancake mix (the just add water kind) and made 2 small pancakes and ate 1 banana. still sipping gatorade. the exterminator is coming again tomorrow (yup, saw another mouse last week, this time, by the radiator in the bathroom). ugh. apparently everyone else in my building is doing their laundry today so i haven't gotten a chance to start on mine. (threw away gross panties from last night, ew. 3 pairs gone. not even going to deal with washing them). sigh. i think i'll be good to go to work tomorrow. this is all so stupid. what a wasted weekend, lol. my abs hurt. it feels like i did 100 sit-ups yesterday. and my muscles ache. i guess lack of potassium? hopefully gatorade and the banana will fix that. Luckily, I got my nails done yesterday before I got sick. Just a basic gel manicure, a baby pink color, no designs, no jewels. at least i have nice nails to look at. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 Texting with my friend Lila. She's bemoaning all the bad dates she's been on lately. She's also mentioned several men asking her out for coffee, and then not paying. Cheap men. She's saying soon, they'll be asking her out for a glass of water, lol. Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Texting with my friend Lila. She's bemoaning all the bad dates she's been on lately. She's also mentioned several men asking her out for coffee, and then not paying. Cheap men. She's saying soon, they'll be asking her out for a glass of water, lol. Cant blame these Guys, after inviting girls on date in restaurant for over $60 and not hear from them afterwords its a coffee or nothing. I wont tolerate being a mug anymore. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Cant blame these Guys, after inviting girls on date in restaurant for over $60 and not hear from them afterwords its a coffee or nothing. I wont tolerate being a mug anymore. Where's BigKK? He would smack this thinking down!!! Lol. Edit to add: I "made" my fiance pay for our first three dates .... maybe $40 at most? We're just buying a house now. He's putting down $15k. I am putting down $60k for our downpayment. We will own the house equally. I think he's getting the better end of the deal Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Can't say I disagree with Patrick. Of course it has worked out with you and your fiance, so it's fine in the end. The problem is that most women expect a man to make an "investment" on them in the beginning of dating when they themselves are not offering them anything in return. A man can spend $50+ on a first date and he is expected to, and then she can leave and never see him again. Some investment. It's a poor one in my book. I'm not conceited enough to think that a man needs to pay me for the pleasure of my company in the beginning. I'm a woman, not a prostitute. I'm so glad I'm not a man. I would not buy into this backwards game at all. Link to comment
testcase Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I always pay for the first date. It's just the polite thing to do and I'd refuse to let my date pay unless she really wasn't feeling it. One time I split a check. One time cause it was friends going out on a date and a slightly awkward date. I still regret that to this day! Probably the worst thing I've done dating. Now I have had two girls break up with me on $150+ dates and THAT I'd appreciate if they split the check with me. Neither of them did... lol. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Cant blame these Guys, after inviting girls on date in restaurant for over $60 and not hear from them afterwords its a coffee or nothing. I wont tolerate being a mug anymore. I know... my friend Lila knows that too. She's just getting bored of coffee dates. She thinks she's at least worth a slice of pizza. I agreed. And then she added "and canolli!!" I told her not to get carried away... She said for her next date, she's going to invite a guy to a free dance class or anything. it doesn't have to be expensive, but I agree that the coffee can just be dull...... especially if they don't even pay for the coffee. sigh.... (I don't even drink coffee after 3 PM) Lila also was telling me about another guy who asked her on a coffee date. She said yes, but then right before the date he said he was hungry, so she suggested that they switch it to dinner and she said he "totally freaked out." jeez. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I know... my friend Lila knows that too. She's just getting bored of coffee dates. She thinks she's at least worth a slice of pizza. I agreed. And then she added "and canolli!!" I told her not to get carried away... She said for her next date, she's going to invite a guy to a free dance class or anything. it doesn't have to be expensive, but I agree that the coffee can just be dull...... especially if they don't even pay for the coffee. sigh.... (I don't even drink coffee after 3 PM) Lila also was telling me about another guy who asked her on a coffee date. She said yes, but then right before the date he said he was hungry, so she suggested that they switch it to dinner and she said he "totally freaked out." jeez. I wouldn't even go out with that guy. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Yeah, not a good reaction. He should have just kept quiet on being hungry and taken her out for coffee and gotten something to eat afterwards. Link to comment
faraday Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 BKK is in Japan with his girl. I miss him! I really don't want this to turn into a "who pays?" Thread...but is it ever nice when a guy picks up the first date or two. And I'm not talking about meals, I'm talking about coffee...or even if he plans something free...like plans meeting at a festival or plans where to meet for a walk or whatever. Just takes initiative and makes me feel like he values and respects me as a woman. I do think women and men are equal, but we are different. Let's face it, my bf paid for our first two dates...and he's moving in soon, and I'll be picking up his socks hopefully for forever. We take care of each other in different ways, we both contribute equally. And while it sucks that men do get in a date or two and usually end up paying, they can choose how much to invest in a woman, and they should keep it minimal until they know the woman is interested in them....I had many $3 one and done coffee/walk dates. If meeting 20 women for a $3 coffee is going to break a guy....I don't think that we have compatible lifestyles. *shrugs*. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I don't expect a guy to pay nor do I expect to pay for him but that's me. Different strokes for different folks. I don't like upfront investments from near strangers and that's how I roll. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Here's my tally so far: Alex the lawyer asked me out for a hot cocoa date. I got there first, waited, and then bought my own apple cider before he arrived. He ordered nothing. Asked me out on a second date (the work christmas party), but didn't tell me what alternate plans were if I didn't want to go. No second date. Dirk the consultant/Phd student: asked me out to a pub/restaurant. We each ordered one beer and split 3 appetizers. I offered to pay my half, but he insisted on paying. No second date (I don't think either of us was interested). Butthead: Asked me out to a dive bar. I said no, I suggested a nicer pub/restaurant instead. We never met because he lied about his job. Alejandro in HR me out for a drink. I had a $4.50 champagne, he had water. I paid for my own drink. He asked me out a second time. he finally bought me a drink (glass of wine), but he wanted me to go to the bar with him to pick it up (presumably to pay??) and I said no. He asked me on a third date, I basically said no. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Oh, I forgot to mention - A few days ago I downloaded an app called "Coffee meets bagel." A friend told me about it. I just got a mutual match today, going to write to him later tonight. Link to comment
faraday Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 If I get there way before a guy, I grab a coffee and find a spot to sit too. Idk...you've had an interesting streak. Do you filter through guys profiles to make sure they're on a financially level playing field as you? I know it's superficial, but you're wasting your time with these guys...and hats not fair to you. Most of the men I met suggested dinner, and I would always insist on coffee or beer to keep first meet costs down. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 If I get there way before a guy, I grab a coffee and find a spot to sit too. Idk...you've had an interesting streak. Do you filter through guys profiles to make sure they're on a financially level playing field as you? I know it's superficial, but you're wasting your time with these guys...and hats not fair to you. Most of the men I met suggested dinner, and I would always insist on coffee or beer to keep first meet costs down. Well, I mean, Alex was a city attorney, Dirk was a consultant but also a PhD student, so I don't know what that worked out to. I know that the PhD student was probably broke, but at least a PhD student. The Alejandro in HR had his income listed on his profile and that seemed to match my income (assuming he was telling the truth?) Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Having a large income does not mean that they would be more likely to treat. My father makes a ton of money and he's very stingy. That's what I grew up with and that's what I'm comfort with. I don't like men who spend a lot of money. I see it as a bad long term trait. In terms of my long term relationships, 2 of them, including my ex B, made a lot and were not the sort to dump money on a woman yet they treaded me well. B made something like 100k+. Income is definitely not an indicator. You have to look at other personality traits. Link to comment
WithLove Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Okay, since your journal consists of "hair removal".... recently I waxed under my chin for the first time, and now it's pretty chaffed. Any suggestions?? Link to comment
faraday Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 All I was saying is that...generally having a decent job means that they can afford to go out. If you've been making $20,000 a year for the last 15 years, you don't have the income to support going out often....And based on Annie's last guy, I was just making sure that she's dating ambitious guys. There's nothing wrong with filtering out guys that don't have their business together. And peoples levels of frugality are very personal...and should be matched with their partner. It's good that you're frugal and like frugal guys Fudgie, it means you'll "get" the guy that doesn't offer to pay for dates. Me....I hate extreme frugality and wouldn't do well with someone that would go out and not order anything- or who wouldn't offer to pick up the tab. It's a personal thing. I think Annie seems like a less frugal person, and it seems like she's looking for that in a partner. It's good that she knows what she wants. I was just asking about her basic filtering to weed out the ones that don't offer because they can't. Weeding out personally traits from a profile is a bit trickier. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I didn't expect a guy to pay for a first meet but I thought it was rude if we both went up to the counter at starbucks and he didn't offer to pay for my $2 coffee -because if I met someone whether a date or not and we were both at the counter I would offer to pay for both our coffees. Link to comment
WithLove Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Sheesh, which Starbucks do you go to? All the coffees by me are, like $5! Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Sheesh, which Starbucks do you go to? All the coffees by me are, like $5! I guess if you just get the brewed coffee, it will be about $2. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Pet Peeves: 1. When people are walking around looking at their phone and aren't seeing if they're going to bump into you. 2. When cars honk when someone isn't making a left turn, but the reason the car isn't making a left turn is because there is a pedestrian in the crosswalk. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Sheesh, which Starbucks do you go to? All the coffees by me are, like $5! I usually get a tall (smallest size) of Cafe Americano if I go to Starbucks. That costs $2. Yes faraday, the poorer ones are more likely to be frugal because they have to be. However, the ones with more money can still be stingy. I would not look at a man's income and say "well he makes a lot so he would treat me". All of the men in my family make a lot of money and they are frugal and wouldn't blow much money on a woman and such has been my experience with many men, although I think I tend to have an eye for well off but fiscally conservative men. Link to comment
testcase Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I'm relatively frugal and I'll always treat someone out on the first few dates. The only time I've thought about even attempting to split the check has been when I wasn't interested in another date. Even then I've still always paid... but the though has crossed my mind. Link to comment
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