reneesmummy

I am really happy you got to meet and can only go by your words to imagine how wonderful an experience it must have been for you both. I have to say that there isn't much that hasn't been said in Kdreger's post that i would add to. You have got to put in the work...i know that it feels so organic that you couldn't imagine trying at 'it' (the relationship that is) but it will be hard to sustain the attachment without some contact or adequate alternatives to this. You sound so young and sweet and in love that i wish and hope it all goes as great as your dreams and i hope you learn about the good nature of humans. Always x

please don't confuse the girl. Girl on girl sex combines all the best bit of foreplay and penetration. Oral sex is high on the list but also is the use of toys as well. girls are a lot more content with closeness and experience gratification through shared intimacysuch as suckling. Girls always seem to be aware of their partners fulfilment over theirs so i guess there is an element of 'giving' at any one time and 'receiving' in the next.

Oh... and take my words with a measure of salt too. I can come accross as a but i am really

Okay so you are keeping the baby????????????? Dont let his time-disregard impede on decisions that need to be made NOW. If he is acting like such a prick then i am guessing the good feelings you might still harbour will/shall dissapitate sooner rather than later. He is disrespecting you by contesting that the child could be is or that you might be making it up. In reality he is saying you are a liar and he believes that the chances is that someone else could have impregnated you. He is showing you the contempt he feels for you. I think it ois all good that you are trying to be understanding of the process he is going through but that would be all good if he was affording you the same courtesy. And it seems he is not. About your daughter, yes he might 'adore' her as you say but YOU are and remain her mainframe. Do not concern yourself with this man and try and re-gain control before it really is too late for you. You still have choices. BTW if you do decide to keep the baby and he does have this good job as you say then make sure that he is made to provide for his child, that's one way of making him accountable at least!

WTF is frog licking

i am going to take it this is for real even though it did make me laugh out loud - but you need to lay off the drug man *titters*. I dont understand why you feel the need to do taht and masturbate at once but maybe you could do the masturbating first and the cough medicine could be like your post-coital cigarette. Only in liquid form but just as dangerous for your health.

You both have to be putting in equal effort into resolving your relationship problems. I do not know your affairs but going by what i read it sounds like he is might be avoiding taking responsibility. You can try and sort out mediation but unless he initiates the steps of prioritising the family unit above all else i am afraid nothing is going to change. I am not one for laying ultimatums because that is an easy root to rejection but what i do myaelf and would advice is 'withdrawal' of sorts on your part. Make him realise that his actions are making him 'separate'.... If he does want to reconcile.....he will. Love yourself above all others. Ask yourself how deserving are you of the treatment you experience from the hands of others. Do you accept this? reject it? Or feel repressed and subjugated? Take your power back. You have got two kids to think about. As a mother i speak from real life experience that nothing i sworse than being the reason for your children's 'issues'. They see what we do and look to replicate. Selective memory won't be off help in a few years. Good luck be with you and may you get what you NEED

I dont think it has anything to do with the guy,the decision to have an abortion that is.There are a lot of idealist in the world and not enough realist. Obviously if there was no questions or issues to be raised regarding the state of the relationship in the moments and time preceding,during and after the conception then this question would be a non-question. Not every one is involved in a fairy tale relationship where the viability of having a child and bringing a soul into the world is classed as a blessing. Not every one is involved in a relationship when they get pregnant so what lenghts are they expected to go through to inform the sperm carrier. People should take responsibility for themselves and not be forced into taking responsibility for others. Sort your own mess out because no-one is going to be doing it for you i would like to end with a little story........................................................... Some people go into jail on their own for crimes they have commited on their own as in of their own prompting and they do their bird and they are fine.(e.g a fraudster) Some go into Jail with a co-dee and during the term they stop talking, have arguments and are forever fighting Or it is the other way round where they are tight and you can see why they ended up doing a bird together.(e.g two bag snathers) And there is the third set of prisoners doing someone else's bird and those are the sad ones.Doing the time while someone else gets away with it. (e.g a drug importer) What all these ppl have in common is the need to avoid crime just like we all need to utulise contraception with ppl we would not like to share genes with but as with everything else in life there is a gradient to these things.It makes more sense to have an abortion if that is what you have decided to do than to try and make do in a futile or non-existent or already strained relationship thinking a baby couldn't possibly make things any worse than they are already! Or even worse still have a baby for some one you are not involved in a relationship with thus doing his sentence for him and making way for your eternal resentment to ever surface. Whatever you do in life make sure you can answer to yourself because it is you that will pay the penance.Do the right thing for you.Dont take on any baggage by feeling responsibility for someone that doesn't feel it for you. Or worse still go through life paying the price for not only your mistake but someone else's.

Sabena you hit the nail right on the head!thank you for those words xI might be emailing you over the w'kend! And by the way maria my child birth wasnt that bad at all infact i got to the hospital at 12.45 and my baby was born at 1.31,so it really wasn't very painful nor horrendous to bare,it is the most natural thing and your body works accordingly.Good luck with your pregnancy and i hope you are in a supportive and fulfilling partnership. I also have to say i have never ever regreted having an abortion as i never make choices lightly.As the case shall be for this one. I hate to come accross as unfeeling but all this is,is a rectifiable situation to me.And hopefully i will not have to go through it again but what i really hope is that i will always be able to make as i have done responsible and selfless decisions rather that emotionally charged and selfish or guilt ridden ones. okay black bag time back in a mo!i cannot wait till this feeling stops..........

hi guys! I am actually not depressed at all,i am actually not bothered about the process as cold as that sounds and when i said i feel sick i really mean that as in that is my biggest problem right now being physically sick! Maria i have had an abortion before a few years ago when i was about 19 and it was under a general so i know where you are coming from.Thankfully because i am not that far gone i ahve more optopns available to me thank god!or should that be modern medicine! i do not want another child at this moment in my life and being a mom i know it would be wrong to go through with it.Trust me i am not confused at all about this i just want to go through the process in order to move on.Also has someone that has not only had an abortion but also given birth to a child i know that the choices i have in life are there to provide me with more than one option in life. This thread isn't about any confusion or depression or choice to make it is simply to acknowledge the state i am in at the moment and the tracks i am making.I would have posted earlier on the board like 12 days ago but i want seeking advice or confirmation of my decisions so it was not necessary. I am thankful that even though i feel as sick as dog i have clarity of mind.Being confused would not be a good state to be in right now! just want to thank you all for your input and keep it coming as it is taking my mind of the need to bury my head in the toilet!

whatever the next move may be do not be the one making it.just leave things as they stand,if you speak to her on sat go from there but if she dont phone dont respond to it. btw I agree with the replies you have received.

I really believe we all know what we need to do in the moment and i really mean that.We all know what we are worth and what we fell we deserve.What i might have put up with last year i neccessacirily wouldnt now.I don't like the notion of being played and i dont like players.It's just not kool,some ppl like the drama of their life and it is up to us to decide if their drama is a drama you want to be part of. I hope that makes sense.

Thanks sweetie and laureliel. Lauriel i know i shouldn't have allowed myself to get in this situation but it happened and i am now taking responsibility for my actions.I did not post to ask your advice but to share my state of mind at the moment.I am my own judge. Sweetie i feel a right prat but i know i have to be real and the sooner i deal with this the sooner i can get back to being reneesmummy!As right now that is not hardly working and as i am on my own this is just proving impossible!Thank god she is so contained.I feel so bad at not being able to give her a lot of attention right now or take her out but i cannot because i am seriously sick.The only reason i am not in bed right now is because i felt so guilty yesterday as iw as unable to get out of be until really late.So apart from feeding her and bathing her i am not be any much good right about now. She is only 2 1/2 but she knows about being sick and hearing me wretch is enough to get her asking are you sick mom? I think i should go and make some more peppermint tea or maybe some sweet juice i just don't know!I just know i cannot fathom eating. Shall be back in a moment.

okay i'm back!i am full of liquid only so this is not good as i feel no relief after being sick.well maybe i should give some background info on the present situation. okay i was majorly stupid and irresponsible and am now paying the concequences.but at least i am not dumb as if i was i would be considering going through with it.but i am not going there i just have to look at my life to know why!I maintain that if i hadn't been so far gone with my daughter and overwhelmed with hormones i would have been able to make the right choice for myself.As it is i do not feel i did.i felt unable to abort renee as i did not find out i was pregnant until about 12 wks and the abortion date i was given was around 6 weeks from then,i was just unable to go through with it as i had by then felt it moving about and was emotionally involved as such. feeling sick again maybe i need more peppermint tea? i am 44 days pregnant and because of this i am able to use mifeprex(the abortion pill),my appointment is tomorrow afternoon and hopefully the whole treatment will have been administered by friday.I so can't wait.got to go feeling really sick but at least i will be back to normal soon!

i feel so sick it is unreal,i have actually given up going to the bathroom and am now resorting to making it to the black bag!I was fine uptil about four days ago then the sickness started.I wish i had been able to afford to go private as this could have been dealt with over a week ago.but thank god for the nhs.I feel so sick.i dont do prgnancy well seriously i looked like i had hiv with my last that is how sick i looked.i am also now unable to eat and have accepted that my appetite is on holiday.my poor daughter is literally having to provide her own entertainment as i am incapable.oh the woes of single parenting! feeling sick again so i'll post this and write some more in a moment.i can't wait till the weekend...............